Trial of Fire (25 page)

But Robert read her better than she’d read herself. He put the shirt to one side and knelt before her, taking her hands in his and pressing a soft kiss to her cheek. ‘Mother, I’m sorry. I’m so very sorry. I never meant to do this to you. I never meant for you to lose your home and everything, so you had to put up with all this. By the gods, Mother, I’m so sorry.’

Words bubbled up in her, desperate to break through and deny that he’d done anything bad at all. Nothing he’d done had come from malice, after all, so in reality, he had nothing to apologise for, but even as she accepted that, as she took a breath to tell him, so too did she know that this apology was as much for him as for her, that it was not just to her he was apologising, but to the whole of Lusara.

Her tears dried then and she drew him close, pressing a kiss to his forehead, squeezing his hand in her own. And then she did speak. ‘Robert, we none of us know, when we’re young, what life will make of us. You have had perhaps the toughest road of all, even with all your privilege. But neither I nor your father could have asked for more in a son, nor been more proud of you.’

He looked up at her, a little surprised, but before he could say anything,
she continued, ‘The night before you and your father left to fight Selar, he and I argued. I didn’t want him to take you. I thought that, at fifteen, you were still too young. You weren’t – but I feared to lose both of you in the same conflict. After an hour or so, I gave in and stopped fighting. I couldn’t bear the thought of him leaving with us like that. But even as he rode through Dunlorn’s gates the next morning, I resented the fact that I’d had to give in, just to get the peace we both needed. Robert,’ she paused, feeling his gaze upon her, ‘tomorrow when you leave, make sure she knows how much you love her, and make sure you know how much she loves you. For both of you, that memory might have to last a very long time.’

When he smiled at her, gently, she saw a light in his eyes that had been absent for so long she’d forgotten it had once been there all the time. He kissed the back of her hands and stood up straight. He picked up his shirt and turned for the door, pausing before ducking his head again to say, ‘My father, for all his early death, was a very, very lucky man. And so, I might add, am I. Goodnight, Mother.’

*

‘I don’t understand why you can’t just raise an army, Robert,’ Finnlay said for the fourth time. ‘If you do, the King will have to pay attention. That way you bring him out into the open, away from Nash, and hit him then.’

Robert raised his hands to quieten his brother. Edain had hung a spare blanket over the door, but Robert had also taken one of his deerskins and added to it, both to control the draft and to deaden the voices on the inside. He’d known this was going to be a battle of some kind.

‘Hit him with what?’ Murdoch answered before Robert could. ‘I’ve been out in the country, Finnlay, I know what’s out there and at the moment, coming off a hard winter, there’s not enough will out there to raise an army, let alone fight Kenrick. I agree with Robert: stealth is the only way for the moment.’

‘Then I’ll go with you.’ Finnlay turned his attention back to Robert, ignoring Martha, Jenn and Andrew in the process. ‘You need help, Robert. If something happens to you, who’s going to protect Andrew?’

‘The fewer people we have with us, the smaller the risk – even you have to concede that.’ Robert poured out ale into his cup, but took only a sip.

‘But there’s a point where you can have too few people – and this is it. Don’t you trust me? Is that the problem?’ Finnlay’s eyes were hard. ‘Why don’t we ask Andrew? After all, he’s going to be King, isn’t he?’

Robert almost laughed at that, but then he looked at the boy and found him watching them carefully. His eyes dropped to where his hands rested on the table and Robert said, ‘Look up, Andrew. If you have opinions, either keep them to yourself, or voice them with confidence.’

Andrew did look up then, and met his gaze with some surprise. Then he said, firmly, ‘I would like Finnlay to come if it’s not going to ruin anything.’

‘You would
like
Finnlay to come?’ Robert repeated, then bit his tongue to stop the sharp addition. Andrew was a sweet, genuine, honest boy – if he arrived on the throne like this, he would be eaten up by wolves within minutes.

Which was exactly the reason Robert didn’t want anybody else going with them. He had work to do, and he couldn’t allow any hindrances. On the other hand, Finnlay might be quite useful.

And it
would
be nice to have him along, if truth be told.

‘Very well,’ he said at last, ‘Finnlay comes with us.’

‘Thank you, Andrew,’ Finnlay said pointedly. ‘Now tell us, Robert, what do you plan to do first?’

‘First of all,’ Robert replied evenly, ‘we need to find Micah.’

At the looks of surprise around the table, he could tell that, with all the excitement, they’d all forgotten that Micah was supposed to have joined them at the Enclave. Instead, all he would have found would have been the departing Salti. Where he would have gone to next was another matter: for all their problems, Robert couldn’t simply leave him in the lurch. Micah had spent the last eight years by Andrew’s side, protecting his future King, and such loyalty meant something was owed in return.

‘And what about the Calyx?’ Martha laced her fingers together and gave them all a smile. Robert had never seen her angry or flustered in all the years he’d known her. She was also the single most capable person he’d ever met. ‘What do we do with it? Is there any way we can gain any information from it?’

Robert looked at Jenn, who shrugged. ‘I don’t think it’s a good idea to do anything with the Key or Calyx until I get back,’ he said.

‘And when do you think that might be?’ Murdoch asked without preamble. ‘And, forgive me, what happens if you don’t?’

‘Don’t worry, Murdoch.’ Jenn patted his hand. ‘I’ll do a little work on my own first, so we have a grounding before Robert gets back. I don’t think we
can
do much with it individually – it only seems to like both of us at the same time. It’s certainly safe enough now we have the orb.’

‘And it’s still working without trouble?’

‘Indeed it is,’ Martha said. ‘Every one of our Seekers tested it today and not one of them could See the Key from outside – or inside, for that matter.’

Robert opened his mouth to say something, and was interrupted by a violent yawn, which brought a smile to almost everyone – except Andrew, who was busily yawning himself. When they were done, they shared a
chuckle, then Robert got to his feet. ‘Time to get some sleep. If you have any more questions, we’ll discuss them tomorrow before we go. Goodnight.’

Chairs and stools scraped across the cave floor as each of them stood and left, calling out goodnight as they went. Jenn lingered to gather up the cups and place them in the bucket by the water embrasure. Robert watched her. She returned to blow out two of the lamps, leaving the last one alight. Robert didn’t let her reach the door. With an arm around her waist, he pulled her close, breathing deeply of her scent, pressing soft kisses to her throat as her arms wound around him.

‘I can’t say it, can I?’ she whispered, even though they had all the privacy they could.

‘Say what?’

‘I wish you wouldn’t go.’

He turned so he could kiss her properly, tasting her, reminding himself of what he had here, of what he was fighting for, and simply remembering all their past together. She tasted sweet, of memory and of the present, her body moulding up against his, so small and yet so very strong.

‘I too wish,’ he said when he could breathe again, ‘that I didn’t have to go.’

‘They all know, you know. About us. Or at least, the adults do.’

‘What about Andrew? Have you said anything to him?’

Jenn drew back a little then and looked up at him. Her gaze was troubled, and she drew her bottom lip between her teeth. ‘I don’t want to give him any more to add to his confusion. If we … if once this—’

Robert finished it for her. ‘If we survive what’s coming, then I’m going to marry you, Jenny, no matter what.’

‘No!’ She rose up on her toes, pressed her hand to his mouth to silence him. ‘You can’t say that. The Key would never allow it.’

Robert let his voice drop. ‘I don’t
care
what the Key thinks. I will make you my Duchess, one way or the other. When that happens, we’ll tell Andrew.’

At that, Jenn’s eyes glistened with tears she wouldn’t shed, with words she would never say. Even now, he knew there were things she wasn’t telling him, and the omission hurt. But just as they were keeping the truth from Andrew, perhaps these secrets were of the same nature.

Perhaps it was time he tried to trust her.

‘Stay with me tonight,’ he whispered into her ear. ‘Let us have this much, if nothing more. Please, stay.’

He could feel the tension in her body as she debated the wisdom of sharing his bed while so many questions still hovered between them, but then she suddenly relaxed into him, hiding her face in the curve of his neck.
With a grin on his face, he nodded towards the lamp and the flame dropped to a tiny flicker. Then he wrapped his arms around her and he drew her to his bed, thankful that he’d made it big enough for two.

Lightning crackled along the top of the hills, making the forest even darker. Nash could smell rain on the air, but so far, it was dry where he stood.

If he could, he would have made the sky rain blood.

The view told him all he needed to know. He stood atop a crag, where harsh rock tumbled down the cliff into the gentle valley below. Sharp edges of wind slapped at his face, but he remained oblivious, keeping his gaze on the land below where his men rode at full pace, spread out, looking for something that wasn’t there.

It
should
have been there. Reason demanded it be so—

But he’d been fooled. By reason, by hope, by destiny. Either way, he’d been fooled, and the knowledge of it burned his eyes and scorched his flesh.

He had to hold his breath to contain the fury. It leaked out of his fingertips in crackles of angry fire. He clasped them together, raised them before his face, tilted his head back and let out a roar. The sky around him flashed, the rock beneath his feet split in three and the wind howled in sympathy.

It was too late. Even being angry was too late. The Key was gone from his grasp again and the only thing he had left to do was to begin to look for it once more.

He’d tried scanning for it. For hours and hours, he’d gone into a deep trance, opening his Senses to the icy spring night, allowing for any possible tiny shred of aura to reach him, but there was nothing, nothing but the bitter taste of failure and loathing which remained in his mouth.

He gestured to Taymar, who stood behind him, to bring the men back. They would not find the Ally here, nor the Enemy, and most certainly not the Key. And it would be pointless trying to guess in which direction they had gone; this country was far too big and he’d been trying that for the last hundred years.

He couldn’t bring himself to even consider the prospect of failure.

‘You lost it.’ Valena’s voice broke his concentration. ‘I told you to be careful of her, and you ignored me. You torture me to make me help you, and yet you pay no attention to what I say. How can you continue to place such blind faith in her?’

‘The Prophecy—’

‘The Prophecy does not say you will have the Key, does it? Because the Prophecy predates the Key. So why do you keep chasing it? Because to have power over the Key means you will have power over
her?’

Nash barely moved, barely registered her hatred. It was nothing compared with his own rage. Instead, he watched as Taymar rode down into the pleasant valley, past the lake, and beyond the ruins of Elita.

She
had been born here, and here, he had learned the Enemy’s true face.

He knew not how he
could
continue to have such blind faith in the Prophecy. But what other choice did he have?

Nash turned then and walked back from the crag’s edge. Valena stood by her horse, tied to it, her eyes dull from the drugs. He stood before her and pulled off his gloves. ‘At what point,’ he began softly, ‘did you lose faith in me? In my ability to achieve my goals? I always told you it would take time, and yet you grew impatient and turned instead to DeMassey to protect you. Why?’

She met his gaze, lifting her chin in defiance, but she still had an air of indifference. She gave him no answer.

Nash lifted his hand to her face, caressed her cheek and felt her flinch beneath his touch. With a smile, he stepped back. Instantly, her hands flew to her face, fingers gingerly touching the scorch mark he’d left there, burned into her beauty.

‘Betrayal brings scars, my dear.’ Nash turned for his horse. ‘And consequences.’ He swung up into his saddle and turned back to face her two guards. ‘Bring her when the others come back. We head due west. It’s time I saw what they left behind at the Goleth.’

*

Brother Benedict held his hands up for silence, then moved quickly to his window. It was dark outside, but there was still life in the tavern on the other side of the village, enough life to make him sceptical, and careful. Even with the thunder rolling in the distant hills, there were plenty of people moving about, plenty of people to question.

He leaned out of his window far enough to make sure there was nobody standing close by, or deliberately eavesdropping. Since the Guilde had taken over the Hospice in Fenlock, the monastery had shrunk by half, but after so many years suffering dwindling numbers, over the last few months, new monks had started to arrive. But the Guilde still watched them closely – at times, a little too closely.

He turned back to find his monks waiting for him, those five who had been here the longest and formed the core of the current community. He pulled the shutter closed, moved away from the window and folded his
hands into his sleeves, adopting his usual posture of patience. ‘We must not say anything about this.’

‘But I know what I saw, Brother,’ Stanley replied, no less passionate than when he’d come in an hour before. ‘How much longer can we ignore this? Sweet Mineah, Brother,
you
worked alongside Her Grace. Surely you were aware even then of—’