Trickle Down Mindset: The Missing Element in Your Personal Success (7 page)

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“A human being always acts and feels and performs in accordance

with what he imagines to be true about himself and his environment.”

― Maxwell Maltz

Personal philosophy is a system for conduct of life. It consists of thoughts, experiences, interpretation attached to those experiences, relationships, emotions, data, data interpretations, and a myriad of other things. Life is complicated and complex; so is a system for conducting it. So in order to make it more bearable, easier to comprehend, and manageable, I will describe this concept in a way the human brain loves to act: with generalization and simplification.

I recognize three main elements shaping personal philosophy: people, data input sources, and your individual interpretation of data. Because everything matters and everything affects everything else, it’s enough to focus on these three elements and develop a successful personal philosophy.

As previously explained, if your personal philosophy doesn’t bring you closer to the outputs you really desire, it is stale. All you need is to refresh it a bit and keep changing it in the right direction. It’s enough to get involved with new people, to alter a bit the sources of your data input, and attach a new interpretation to the data you receive. It will transform your personal philosophy and transform your life.

People may be regarded as data input sources too. But there is something distinct in humanity. It is stronger to hear the information from another man than to read the same information in a book. Relationships and interactions stir more emotions and thoughts than any other way of receiving information. People have a profound influence on your philosophy. People are special and cannot be treated like a radio show or a book. I’ll expose how it works by sticking with the example of the process of reforming my philosophy in 2012.

I met new people. A month after reading
The Slight Edge
, I joined its online community. It is now sadly neglected, but it was quite alive when I signed up. As you know, the idea of my gratitude journal was partly born out of reading about the experiences of a member of
The Slight Edge
community. It is just a single instance showing how meeting new people may affect your worldview.

However, interaction in that community was an experience very similar to those I had in the past with online forums. I was involved in communities gathered around my hobbies: computers and card games. It is a nice feeling to meet like-minded people and exchange experiences. Nice, that’s all.

At the beginning of 2013, I joined another online community and it was a transcending experience. I took part in the Transformation Contest organized by Early to Rise. There were about 40,000 participants from all over the world. We spent three months together in the deeply committed online community. I met new friends there. We shared our life stories; we hid nothing. Deep stuff like life and death, like losing someone or falling in love. Those people know some things about me that even my family doesn’t.

Within a month, this event transformed from a simple contest to an encouragement volcano. We cheered up and encouraged each other. We prayed for each other. We offered comfort to each other. It was an empowering experience. It fostered an amazing level of trust between the participants. I met half a dozen friends there from all over the world. “Friends” in a Polish meaning of the word—people who I am ready to die for. I met a lot more acquaintances. To this day, we hang out together and we are ready to do a favor for any member of the Transformation Contest.

Just two concrete instances of how much this experience altered my life.

1.
On Feb. 26, 2013, I shared on my Transformation Contest wall my personal mission statement creation process. One of my friends commented: “
You should write an e-book about this.
” I took her advice seriously and
A Personal Mission Statement: Your Road Map to Happiness
was my first work ever published. It has sold 410 copies in the last 90 days.

2.
English is not my native language and when I was starting my writing career, it was much worse than today. I needed a native proofreader but I had no funds to pay for the service and no idea how to get one. I posted the first draft of my book on the Transformation Challenge Facebook group. Diane Arms was impressed with my openness and she volunteered to edit my book. She did it with my first four works. Without her help, I could never have moved forward with my publishing venture.

The second cornerstone of personal philosophy is data input sources. Inspired by Jeff Olson’s advice to read ten pages of a good book every day, I introduced some changes to what information, how, and in what amounts I consumed. I had a habit of doing a Weider (exercise) series for fifteen minutes each morning. So I started to listen to audio materials. I also completely changed the type of books I was reading. I replaced pulp fiction books with philosophy, personal development, spiritual, and business books. One of the first six habits I started at the beginning of my transformation was reading a book written by a saint for ten minutes a day. You can check out my
Goodreads profile
to observe this transition in my lectures in the past two years.

Exposing myself to new kinds of information bore fruit within a couple of months. A few examples:

- I read
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
and created my personal mission statement

- I read
The Compound Effect
and started my first gratitude journal.

- I read
Start Over, Finish Rich
by David Bach and was convinced I had to pay myself first, which translated into about $7000 in savings in 18 months.

The last element—interpretation of emotions, experiences and data—is the least tangible of the cornerstones, but important nonetheless. Your internal voice is extremely significant in the process of absorbing new ideas. I could read Mr. Bach’s advice and comment on it internally—“
What BS! I know everything about savings. I’ve been tracking the exact amounts on my savings account for the last three years. Paying myself first? What a stupid idea! And what will I eat, when the funds run dry in the middle of the month?
” Instead, I said, “
It’s counterintuitive, but this guy is a millionaire and I’m not. Let’s try it and see how this works.
”

You may move to a different state or country, you may change your social environment altogether, you may read new books and listen to new coaches, but if you don’t alter your self-talk a bit, it will all be in vain. You will disregard new information and advice and sooner or later, you will go back to your old ways.

Knowledge Items:

- It’s enough to focus on three pillars to develop a successful personal philosophy: data sources, people, and internal interpretation.

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“Anyone who wants to sell you overnight success or wealth is not interested in your success;

they are interested in your money.”

― Bo Bennett

I hope I drove the point home and you embraced the idea that the way your mind functions dictates the outcomes in your life.

Can you connect the dots? Do you see how specific types of mindsets generate specific results in your life? If they are not satisfying, it’s time to transform your philosophy. The important thing here is not to dwell on what’s unsatisfactory in your life, not to beat yourself up for it, but to objectively observe your conditions and the trends.

If you progress in specific areas, then the chances are your philosophy is not so rotten after all. The lack of satisfaction comes from impatience or your high expectations, which usually are a result of comparing yourself to others.

Let’s say you are obese. You are 5 feet 5 inches and weigh 200 pounds. But a year ago, you weighed 240 pounds. You
are
doing something right. Your mindset is not all trash.

Or you have $5 million in your savings account and don’t need to work if you don’t want to. That’s great. Ninety-eight percent of the population would like to be in your place. However, two years ago you inherited $25 million. Hey, there is something wrong with your attitude toward money.

Okay, you know you need a better philosophy, so how do you change it? Should you try to revolutionize it and develop it from scratch or rather painfully discard one rotten element after another and replace them with a more healthy construction?

I’m almost sure your intuition suggests you go on a rampage. Ditch the old, ineffective methods! Do as many things as possible as fast as possible! Your old philosophy has already cost you a lot of priceless time, which may never be reclaimed. All of that is fine and true, but you are not a
tabula rasa
.

Your intuition is partly right. It is possible to entirely rebuild your personal philosophy. People do it all the time. Mark Bowness transformed his life at the age of 26. A single event —his own failed suicide attempt—made him examine all his previous beliefs and change them practically within one day. You can radically change all three elements that comprise personal philosophy. You can change who you interact with in a single moment. You can move to a different town, state, country, or continent. You can change your data digesting habits: throw away the TV, destroy your mobile phone, install a firewall app on your computer and block all the news sites. Or you can start saying to yourself whenever you encounter an unfortunate event that “every obstacle is a chance if viewed as an opportunity for growth or self-mastery.”

However, you need to realize that such drastic measures also have a drastic cost attached to them. For example, I hate TV as it is today, but I dread to think how my wife would react if I threw the set out the window. I wouldn’t have to watch it for some time, but the price would be horrendous.

Building an entirely new philosophy is like joining a religious order. You abandon your old life. You change the whole social fabric of your life; you surround yourself with totally new people. You change the sources of information. Worldly sources become secondary at best. You focus on the holy teachings and the teachings of holiness.

If your calling is the real deal, you will also change your internal dialog, the interpretation of events and actions you encounter and/ or perform. You and your life will change completely within a short period of time.

But they are not so eager to accept a fresh convert into religious orders. They know that the resolution may be temporary. That the freshman may slip back into his old ways after several months and find himself unfit for the new way of life. That’s why practically every respected religious order introduces the institution of novitiate. They accept a candidate for a set period, usually for a year or longer to see if he can persevere. During that time, he is also examining himself, to see if he really finds this new life compelling.

There are genuine converts who are able to transform their lives within a few days, but they are rare birds. And they come into an order the same way ordinary mortals do—through the probation period. Religious orders accumulated their wisdom over thousands of years. Use their balanced approach to prepare your own life revolution. Break yourself in gradually.

Besides, I can’t teach you how to develop an entirely new personal philosophy from scratch, because I didn’t do it. I meticulously transformed my old philosophy, and I advise you to do the same.

Sudden transformations are uncommon. You hear about them a lot because they are so spectacular and the media loves them. But for every sudden breakthrough, there are 999 more mundane and slower but equally effective stories of development.

And usually you can find some background preparations that took years to develop before the revolution occurred. Saint Paul converted to Christianity in a single encounter. But he was prepared. He was a very educated Jew. He knew all the old scriptures. He was also introduced to Christianity by the believers he persecuted. He needed just a “gentle” push to convert. His story couldn’t materialize in some pagan who didn’t even realize that there was one God. He was carefully prepared for years to reach this single moment of catharsis.

Saint Augustin was a lecher and flibbertigibbet. He enjoyed a worldly life to its fullest. But he was also the son of a very pious woman and was exposed to her lessons in his early years. She also prayed for him for all the years he pursued the pleasures of flesh.

So, yes, their transformations were unexpected. What sane person would believe that a murderer or lecher could transform so quickly into a saint? But in hindsight, it’s clear that it didn’t happen out of the blue. Their new philosophy was founded on their past experiences and knowledge. And this is the way you should seek your transformation, your shift in your personal philosophy.

Your current personal philosophy could be messy and probably is. You are not in the place you desire in life. You want a better body, health, higher bank balance, finer things, better relationships, better education. You didn’t get them because of your mindset. However, your mindset contains a lot of gems, a lot of solid parts upon which you can build your new life. Everything that has happened in your life to date has prepared you for your upgraded philosophy.

And there is one additional advantage in admitting that your previous philosophy led you to your current results—you take responsibility for your past decisions, actions, and results. It’s irrational, but empowering. It’s irrational because you can’t take responsibility for the earthquake that destroyed your house. But it’s empowering because you feel you are in control of your life. It was you who decided to settle in that spot where there was a risk of earthquakes. Your decision led you to your current pitiful situation, so your decision can also bring you out of it. That’s the attitude shared by many successful people, and it’s worth adopting.

Knowledge Items:

- Don’t revolutionize your philosophy; drastic measures also have a drastic cost attached to them.

Action Items:

- Admit that your previous philosophy led you to your current results. Repeat the self-analysis exercise from the chapter,
The Law of Nature
.