Triggered
Triggered
Vicki Grant
Copyright © 2013 Vicki Grant
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced
or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including
photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system now
known or to be invented, without permission in writing from the publisher.
Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication
Grant, Vicki, author
Triggered / Vicki Grant.
(Orca soundings)
Issued in print and electronic formats.
ISBN
978-1-4598-0529-3 (bound).--
ISBN
978-1-4598-0526-2 (pbk.)
ISBN
978-1-4598-0527-9 (pdf).--
ISBN
978-1-4598-0528-6 (epub)
I. Title. II. Series: Orca soundings
PS
8613.R367T75 2013Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â j
C
813'.6Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â
C
2013-902341-0
C
2013-902342-9
First published in the United States, 2013
Library of Congress Control Number:
2013906261
Summary:
After Mick breaks up with Jade, his sense of responsibility for her
younger brother keeps pulling him back.
Orca Book Publishers gratefully acknowledges the support for its publishing
programs provided by the following agencies: the Government of Canada through
the Canada Book Fund and the Canada Council for the Arts,
and the Province of British Columbia through the BC Arts Council
and the Book Publishing Tax Credit.
Cover image by Masterfile
| ORCA BOOK PUBLISHERS Â Â Â Â Â | ORCA BOOK PUBLISHERS |
| PO Box 5626, Stn. BÂ Â Â Â Â | PO Box 468 |
| Victoria, BC Canada     | Custer, WA USA |
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16   15   14   13   â¢Â   4   3   2   1
Contents
Mick
We're alone. Jade's mother is working the night shift. Her little brother's in bed. If I'm going to say anything, now's the time.
I close the window on my desktop. I stare at the blank screen and run the words through my head again. I thought I had it all worked out, but I'm not so sure anymore.
Jade stretches out on the couch and wedges her toes under my thigh. She says, “My feet are cold.”
I think, So put some socks on then, and right away I feel bad. I think things like that all the time now. Little stuff bugs me. The way she peels the bread off her sandwich and only eats the insides. The way she won't laugh until someone else does first. Those sticky notes she puts on everything.
I can't chicken out again. It's not fair to either of us.
I slide my tongue across my teeth, then turn and look at her. She's leaning her head against the arm of the couch. Her textbook's propped up in front of her face. All I can see is the top of her ponytail.
It's weird. I haven't been this nervous since the first time I saw her. I sat behind her on the bus looking at that yellow hair for months before I even had the guts to say hi.
When I finally did, it was like pushing a button. I opened my mouthâand Jade started talking as if she'd known me forever. I barely heard a word she said. I just kept thinking, Now what do I do? (I didn't have to worry. She had that figured out too.)
That was a long time ago. I've spent almost all of high school with one girl. A nice, pretty, smart girlâbut still, just one girl.
I've got to do this.
“Jade,” I say. She keeps reading.
My mouth's too dry to talk anyway. I swish some spit around and try again.
“Jade?” She flops the book down flat on her legs and looks at me. She's smiling, but not really. I should know better than to interrupt her when she's studying. It's that kind of smile.
I say, “There's something I need to talk to you about.” My voice sounds normal enough. It doesn't crack or anything, so I think for a second this is going to be all right. I'll say what I have to say, and it'll probably be kind of awkward and sad, but then I'll go home and we can both get started on the rest of our lives.
That's not what happens. Jade bolts up straight. Her mouth is still smiling, but her eyes have changed. She's staring at me like she's an owl or something.
She totally throws me. “You're a reallyâ¦great person,” I say. It sounds so lame, like I'm reading a note someone else wrote.
She says, “Are you breaking up with me?”
Two sentences. That's as far as I get, and already she knows.
What am I supposed to say? Yes? I'm not that harsh. I wanted to talk about all the good things first. Ease her into it. Explain how this isn't about her, how we've both changed, stuff like that.
“Are you breaking up with me?” She says it louder this time. She's wearing an old plaid shirt of mine. She pulls it closed at the neck as if I'm some stranger who caught her in her bathrobe.
I go to say something about how much fun we've had together, but I don't get very far. “Are
you
breaking up with me.” It's not a question anymore. It's an accusation. She's practically yelling.
“Jade,” I say. I want to calm things down, get them back on track. I stand up. I don't know why. A reflex, I guess. After three years, I'm used to going to her when she's upset.
She freaks. “Don't touch me!”
She hurls her Biology book at me.
I jump out of the way. It hits the coffee table, and there's this huge clang.
Stuff bounces off. A glass breaks.
She's screaming about what a prick I am and what a coward and how I'm so selfish and I'm only doing this because my friends never liked her, and the whole time I'm just standing there with my hands up like I'm under arrest or something.
I'm almost relieved when I see Gavin standing in his bedroom doorway. Jade turns to look. He starts to wail.
He drops his stuffed kangaroo and runs straight to me. He puts his arms around my leg. “Why are you guys fighting? Don't fight. Don't fight.” Little kids crying like that will break your heart. They don't hold back. It's the end of the world for them.
Jade grabs the collar of his pajamas and rips him away from me. “Don't, Gavin. Let go! Mick doesn't like us anymore.”
The look on his face. That was the worst. How could she say that to him?
I say, “Jade. No! Gavin⦔
She slaps my hand away. “That's what you said!”
“I didn't.”
“That's what you said.”
She won't let me talk.
“You did so. And now you've upset Gavin and he's going to get a migraine and he'll probably throw up and there's school tomorrow and I've got a biology test and I'm going to be up half the night looking after him. So why don't you just get the hell out of here before you screw anything else up?”
Gavin is covering his ears with his hands and sobbing into Jade's side. She's rubbing his back and glaring at me.
I grab my laptop and go.
I don't know what else to do. Maybe I
am
a coward.
Jade's Diary
February 26
No, it's not. It's three in the morning, so that makes it February 27.
What a night!! I just got Gavin settled down. I should go to bed myself, but there's too much going on in my head. I have to write it out.
It's probably a good thing Gavin had a migraine. (Not for him, of course
) I couldn't get all worked up over my own problems. I had to take care of his. It gave me a chance to cool down. Things look different now.
The truth is, I've known something was up with Mick for a while. There was that poker game he went to with the guys even though we had a movie planned.
Then there was that time he got all pissy just because I made the server take my salad back and that other time he “wanted an early night.” I had the feeling he wasn't answering all my calls anymore either.
I couldn't figure it out. This wasn't the Mick I knew. We used to spend every waking minute together. We were the perfect couple. Everyone said that. Then, suddenly, he was like, “Sorry, Jade, I'm doing something with Quinn.”
“Sorry, Jade, but it's only five dollars. Don't go getting the waitress in trouble just because you asked for dressing on the side.”
“Sorry, Jade. I didn't hear my phone.”
I thought I'd done something wrong. I racked my brain to figure out whatâand tonight I got the answer. I realized it wasn't what I did. It was what I
didn't
do.
I've been so busy lately with homework and work and looking after Gavin and applying to nursing school that I haven't had time for Mick. He's probably worried I don't care anymore, scared he's going to lose me. If he were someone else, he might have tried to talk to me about it, but Mick's not a talker. Instead, he struck back in the only way he knew howâby deliberately provoking me. It's like he's going, “See? I don't need you either.”
