Trinity (25 page)

Skaric shrugged. “You can’t
keep watch all night; not if we’re going to set a hard pace to try
and outrun Berend.”

He was right. He was always
right.

Nidan began to move the hilt of
his sword from hand to hand, feeling the perfectly balanced weight
in his grip. It was a comforting sensation. Nidan tossed his sword
back into his right hand and closed his fist tightly around the
hilt. He could feel the metal beneath the leather padding that he
was crushing with the strength of his grip. “I wish I had been
there.”

“
It wasn’t
your fault…” Skaric’s expression was fiercely
guilt-ridden.

Nidan shook his head and drove
the point of the sword into the ground. “It wasn’t your fault,
either.” He let out the growl that had formed in the back of his
throat and kicked at the loose stones on the ground. A scattering
of pebbles and dust rose up to rain back down on his boot. He drew
in a deep breath. “If I was able to heal myself, you wouldn’t have
had to take me to Linden and the Guardians.” He watched as the
corner of Skaric’s mouth jerked downwards awkwardly. “What?”

Skaric took a
step backwards and shook his head. “Nothing. It wasn’t your fault,
Nidan. It’s me you should be angry at, not yourself.
I
made the decision to go
to Linden.
I
couldn’t find anywhere better to hide than the
graveyard.”

Nidan narrowed his eyes and
tried to close the distance between them but Skaric edged away.

“
There’s
something else you’re not telling me…”

“
Get some
sleep, Nidan.”

Nidan pretended to turn away,
but at the last moment he swung back and before Skaric could react,
Nidan grabbed him by the shirt and held him fast.

“
Tell me what
you’re thinking.
Then
I’ll go to sleep.”

Skaric shook his head. “Are you
always this stubborn?”

“
Are
you?”

Skaric laughed; the sound was
hollow in the stillness of the night.

Nidan frowned, released his
companion and stepped backwards. “I’m sorry. I’m tired and
annoyed.”

Skaric’s mouth curled into a
smile. “I noticed.” He made a vague effort to smooth out his
crumpled shirt, which seemed futile.

“
Whatever it
was that you were thinking… tell me.”

Skaric rolled
his eyes. “Fine. You keep telling me you can’t heal yourself… that
Guardians
can’t
heal themselves… I just can’t work out why you’d think
that.”

Nidan pursed his lips. “I’ve
already told you: when we use Pios’ magic to heal, we become
acutely aware of what we’re healing. On somebody else, that’s fine.
But on ourselves? The pain becomes too great to be able to fight
through.”

He watched as Skaric began to
scuff the ground with the toe of his boot. There was a troubled
expression on the young man’s face.

“
What?”

“
One of the
reasons that the Wolves lost the War of Tears was because they were
facing a foe that could heal themselves. It didn’t matter how
strong the Wolves were: the Guardians just kept on
coming.”

“
Surely the
Guardians just healed one another?”

Skaric froze for a couple of
heartbeats and then continued to scuff the ground. He didn’t look
up, even though Nidan was staring at him.

“
If you
could
fight through the
pain, is there any reason why you couldn’t heal
yourself?”

Nidan peered up at the shapes
of isolated dark grey clouds against the inky sky. It was a
question he hadn’t considered in years, not since he had started
his training. The other Guardians had laughed at him and told him
it was impossible. Embarassed by his foolishness, Nidan had
banished such thoughts from his mind. “I don’t know.”

Skaric stared at the dirt.

Yet if it was
possible…
“You know how to overcome pain.
Will you show me how?”

Skaric stopped
and finally looked up at Nidan. Was that what he had been waiting
for all along? To be asked for his help?
I
know I’m proud, but did he think I would have refused his
help?
Would I?

Skaric chewed his lower lip,
his expression thoughtful. “How do you channel Pios’ magic?”

Nidan blinked, unsure what that
had to do with overcoming pain.

“
Describe it
to me. I know how my magic works, but I have no idea how anyone
channels the power of a god.”

Should I tell
him
? Nidan felt his gut twist. He had no
reason not to trust Skaric. Not anymore. “I have to relax and
concentrate until all thoughts of anything but Pios have left my
mind. Sometimes it helps me to visualise the statue of Pios at
Ironhold where I trained.” He paused, weighing up his next words.
“I had to do that when Kiana ordered me to heal you that first
time.”

Skaric winced.
“I bet you found it hard to concentrate on doing
that
.”

Nidan nodded; there was no
point in lying.

“
What
else?”

Nidan shrugged. “Once my mind
is clear, I ask Pios for his blessing and then I feel the warmth of
his magic. From there, I can channel it into my patient and heal
their injuries.”

Skaric sat down on the ground
and crossed his legs loosely. “You could probably use the same
technique to push the pain away.”

Nidan frowned. “How?”

Skaric motioned for Nidan to
sit down. He hesitated for only a moment before he obeyed.

“
Can I have
your dagger?” Skaric said.

Nidan frowned but tugged the
dagger from his belt. Skaric held his hand out for the weapon.
Nidan flipped it round so that he was holding the blade and held it
out for Skaric to take.

“
Sorry.”
Skaric said.

“
For what?”
Nidan ground his teeth and snarled as Skaric took hold of the hilt
of the dagger and tore the blade across the flesh of his palm,
opening up a jagged cut. The blood still looked crimson despite the
gloomy light. “What did you do that for?”

Skaric shrugged in a
frustratingly nonchalant manner. “So that you’d have something to
heal.”

The initial
shock passed but Nidan’s hand still throbbed with pain. He wanted
to feel angry, but instead he forced a sharp laugh out of his
mouth.
Trust a Wolf to do something so
reckless.
“So, what do I do?” He spat the
words through gritted teeth.

“
Close your
eyes.”

Nidan’s hand hurt like fury and
he felt ridiculous.

“
Close your
eyes.”

He
had
asked for Skaric’s
help, and the cut would either need to be stitched up or healed or
he wouldn’t be able to hold his sword to defend Kiana. Nidan closed
his eyes.

“
Concentrate
on the pain.”

Nidan imagined that he was
still staring at his hand and at the blood that was steadily
pattering onto the dry ground. The pain throbbed in waves that
seemed to become stronger. The pit of his stomach churned and bile
rose into his throat. Nidan’s heartbeat quickened, and he gulped
breaths of the warm air to calm down.

“
Breathe
slowly. It’s only a shallow cut. No need to panic.”

“
Concentrating
on it makes it hurt more.”

He heard Skaric chuckle. “Of
course, it does. That’s the point.”

Nidan ground his teeth and kept
concentrating. Soon, he could feel nothing except for the pain.
Every other sensation faded out: the sharp stones that pressed
through his trousers, the stiffness in his knees, the weight of his
head on his shoulders and the headache that had formed at his
temples.

“
Imagine you
can put all the physical pain into one place.” It was as though
Skaric knew exactly how Nidan was feeling. “Can you do
that?”

Nidan found
that he couldn’t even nod his head.
What’s
happening to me?
His heartbeat should have
quickened as he panicked, but it didn’t. He couldn’t open his eyes
or snap himself out of… what? A trance? Had Skaric somehow put him
into a trance? There was nothing he could do except what Skaric had
just asked him to do.

Nidan imagined that he was
bundling all the pain into a tight ball that rested on his
palm.

“
Lock it
away.”

How is he
doing that?
A strong wooden box stood
before Nidan, the lid open. Feeling foolish, Nidan placed the ball
of pain into the box and firmly shut the lid. There was no lock,
but he still heard the click of a lock in his mind.

“
Can you ask
Pios for his power?”

It only took Nidan a moment of
concentration to focus on Pios and ask for his blessing. Instantly,
he felt the warmth of power in his body, which was his to
manipulate. Nidan could visualise the cut, but it didn’t feel like
it belonged to him anymore. It was as though he was healing another
person. Although he still felt some pain, it was insignificant to
him. In his mind’s eye, he could see the cut slowly closing up,
knitting together and then vanishing into nothingness. At the same
time, the box containing his pain faded away.

Nidan wanted to open his eyes,
to wake up.

“
Slowly.
Imagine that night is passing. You’re asleep and you can’t wake up
until dawn has come.”

It was exactly as Skaric
described: Nidan felt like he was waking up from a very deep sleep.
When he was finally able to open his eyes, Skaric was staring at
him. The muscles around the Wolf’s eyes twitched slightly as though
he were trying to peer beneath Nidan’s skin.

“
What’s
wrong?” Nidan regarded Skaric cautiously.

Skaric shrugged and wiped his
hand over his eyes. “I think I’m still seeing things... from when I
got bashed over the head last night.”

Nidan frowned. “Seeing
what?”

Skaric squinted and then waved
whatever he was thinking away. “It doesn’t matter.” He nodded
towards Nidan’s hand. “At least you managed to heal yourself.”

Nidan stared down at his palm.
Although there was still blood, there was no other sign that he had
ever been injured. His breath caught in his throat. It was amazing.
He had been able to heal himself. But would he ever be able to do
it again?

Chapter
Sixteen

Relief bubbled in Kiana’s throat
as they reached the understated border to the Fallen Lands. They
had travelled for three gruelling days, and Kiana had spent most of
that time in the saddle. The muscles in her thighs and calves ached
and ugly red sores lined her legs; she longed for the soothing
relaxation of a bath. Nidan and Skaric had taken turns to ride the
second horse. Kiana had offered to walk to shake out her joints,
but they had refused. She understood she wasn’t as fit as either of
them.

The border was indicated by a
series of stout flagpoles that had been staked into the ground.
Kiana lifted one of the limp flags and saw the symbols of Pios and
Miale on one side and a large black skull on the other. A single
word accompanied the skull: DANGER.

Ignoring the warning, they crossed the border.
Please don’t let Berend follow
us.
Kiana was tired of constantly
looking over her shoulder and of seeing fear in Skaric’s eyes.
After a few leagues, when the border flags had long since vanished
out of sight, the terrain changed abruptly from lush grassland to a
desolate wasteland. Nothingness stretched ahead of them. Kiana
could see no trees, buildings, or landmarks of any kind; just land
that had withered and died a thousand years earlier. It was an odd
juxtaposition against the cheerful blue sky. It was also silent.
Nothing lived there anymore. No birds; no animals; Kiana couldn’t
even see or hear any insects. She hunched her shoulders as her skin
broke out in goosebumps.

Walking along beside her, Skaric
missed his footing and almost stumbled to the ground. He righted
himself and then pressed his fingertips to his temples.

Kiana looked down at him
anxiously. “Are you all right? I can take a turn walking.”

Skaric glanced up at her and shook
his head; the colour of the sky was reflected in his eyes. “Do you
feel that?” He moved his fingertips in slow circular motions.

“
Feel what?”
There was a gentle breeze that was causing a fine mist of dust to
rise into the air. Kiana could feel it pressing against her skin,
making her feel dirty and itchy.

The
dust caked them all, covering their skin and clothes in a brown
layer. It worked its way into her boots and under her clothes. It
stung her eyes, blocked her nose and whipped into her mouth when
she opened it. The dust would provide protection from the sun, but
she couldn’t think of any other positives.
But that isn’t what you mean, is it?

Skaric shrugged. “It’s probably
nothing.” His brow creased.

“
How long has
your head been hurting for?”

He squinted at her and shielded
his eyes, which was odd as the sun was behind him. “I’m probably
just tired.”

Stop hiding things from me
.
“How long?”

Skaric glanced over his shoulder.
“Since the land changed.”

Nidan slowed his horse down so
that he was riding alongside Kiana with Skaric walking in between
them. “Could it be the echoes of magic? A lot happened here. The
deaths of Miale and Ysia; a fierce magical war. It’s not surprising
that this area is… scarred.”