Tripp (30 page)

“Because you could have been.” My words don’t sting, and I wonder briefly if seeing her has eased my fear—or if it’s because Tanner and Griff let me get my aggression out, and now all I have left is plain-and-simple gratitude for the way things turned out.

“Thanks for the reminder,” she says stiffly, but like my words, there’s no sting left. I sigh, scooching farther onto the bed, close enough to touch her, but I don’t.      

“Where have you been?” she asks and I smile. She wants to be strong, but there’s something about me that calls to her—like there’s something about her that calls to everything inside of me. Together, we’re whole.

“In my own head. I had to work some things out,” I tell her and reach over to brush my fingers along a tendril of hair that’s escaped her ponytail again. This time she doesn’t slap at me.

“Are you okay now?” she asks, and I hear the insecurity in her voice. Leaning closer, I press my lips to her cheeks, one, then the other, and watch her eyes close.

“I want to kill him, Rachel,” I say and they snap open again. “I know it’s over, but it won’t be over for me…not fully, for a long time. Not as long as I can see you like I did that day—in the bathroom, terrified and running from him, the bruises on your neck already forming. I bet that’s how your mom and Stacy feel,” I say and she looks down at her legs.

“I’m fine, though.”

“Yeah, you are. But we still need to pamper you, to take care of you, to be mad for you…because you weren’t the only one in that bathroom who had something to lose. We can’t lose you,” my voice breaks. Clearing it, I say it again. “I can’t lose you. I’m sorry I wasn’t around much, but I don’t know how to be here for you and not upset you. I don’t know how not to be angry with him—and every time I see those bruises, I’m angry. I want to rant and rave and pummel someone…so I stayed away.”

“And beat up Tanner?” she asks.

“Maybe.” I take her hand and look down at her fingers, so long and beautiful. I know the strength they hold, the power. I raise her hand and kiss her palm. “I’m sorry you’re annoyed and sick of being taken care of, but you’ll have to deal…because the rest of us are just so grateful you’re okay.”

“I guess I understand,” she says, and smiles at me. “It’s weird, but I’m not angry at Marcus, not really. I’m glad it’s over, and I’m a little scared sometimes when I think of what could have happened…but mostly, I’m just glad it’s done. And I’m glad you’re here, so you better be staying.”

“Rachel,” I start, but she stops me.

“I won’t let him take this from me, Tripp. When I was in that bathroom and I wanted to give up, that’s what kept me going. This—you and me, us, Gracie—it’s what made me fight. Even if you hadn’t kicked that door down, I’d have gotten out of there for
this
.”

“I know,” I say. And honestly, as proud as that makes me, it scares me a little too. Just like I did before, I wonder if she’ll ever need me the way I need her.

“But you know what I still would have needed?” I shake my head, afraid to speak. “You to be with me afterward. And you were. You were there when I needed you, Tripp. Like always. Are you here now?”

I’m still mad, but now the anger is being pushed to the back, replaced with Rachel. Just Rachel. I nod and hold out my arms. “Yeah, I’m here now.”

She burrows into me. I roll us so we’re laying wrapped in each other, our hearts matching their rhythm together. “Hey Tripp?”

“Hmm?” My voice is thick and my eyes are closed because good god, to hold her again is the best kind of salve on my burning wound.

“Want to go look for a house to rent next year?”

My eyes crack a little to look down at her. Hers are big and wide and right on my face, but they aren’t scared.

I nod. “What brought this on? Aren’t we going to wait and see if a JuCo around here has money to give you? Or Oregon? I’ll live on your campus and commute. I already told you that.”

“I know, and I’m grateful. You know that text I sent you before that whole thing with Marcus happened? It was because Coach told me I got my tryout. The university here is going to give me a recruited walk-on tryout.” She smiles when I sit us both up, shifting her until she’s in my lap and my arms are around her.

“Congratulations, Rachel. I knew you could do it.”

“With you. I can do it with you, Tripp.” She leans back and looks at me. “We’re young. I know that. And with Gracie, life is going to be different than it would if you were just going to college as a normal eighteen-year-old.”

“Rachel, if you’re about to say you want me to go live my dream—”

“
Please
, that ship has sailed. You’re stuck with me, so settle down and listen,” she says and laughter bursts out of me. “I’m ready to move forward, to have our future. It’s not going to be easy, but I don’t care. I just care about you, us, and making things work.”

There they are, those words that make everything that’s happened smaller, until the only thing that matters is her and me. “Me, too.”

“Next week?” she asks, and I nod. “Good. Now, what’s in the bag for this date night?”

I smile and bring her closer. “Sour Patch Kids and McConaughey.”

Epilogue

Future

“Hurry, Daddy.”

“I’m coming, baby. We’ve still got time.”

I shift the bouquet of flowers and grip Gracie’s hand more securely in mine as we wind through the crowded hallways of Gill Coliseum on our way to our seats for Rachel’s last game. Four years ago, we did it. We made a decision to take a chance, and though it was a lot of work, we did it. Now she’s taking the court to play her last home game as a Beaver—and I’m laughing as our daughter tugs on my hand and looks over her shoulder, giving me
that look
that is all Rachel.

Our daughter. Last year, Rachel and I got married, and I legally adopted Gracie. Like her mother, I’ve always thought of this beautiful little girl as mine, but now the courts acknowledge it too. Marcus and his family haven’t been in the picture since that summer after we graduated from high school. He was never punished for what he did to Rachel; his lawyer cited emotional distress, and that, coupled with his family’s influence, got him off the hook with mandatory counseling. Rachel didn’t press for a trial because she wanted it behind her. Instead, she got him to sign papers, releasing any rights to Gracie.

There was a moment when I hesitated over this. I took Rachel aside and asked her if this was the right decision for Gracie. He’s her biological father—no matter how happy a kid she is, if she knows her blood comes from someone else, won’t she want to know why he isn’t in her life? Won’t she have questions?

“Yeah, and I’ll answer them with the truth.” She must have seen my face. “The truth being that not every family shares blood—but what they share is more. She has your head tilt, and your patience. She doesn’t need your blood to learn from you, Tripp. So don’t ever think that.”

And she was right. Every day, Gracie grows a little more, and every day I see pieces of both Rachel and me in her. She’s not as quick to explode as her mama—thank the sweet baby Jesus—but as Rachel says, she’s also not as slow to make certain decisions as yours truly. When Gracie wants something, she finds a way to get it. It terrifies me as much as it makes me proud.

We get to the aisle our seats are on, and I see Dr. C and my parents already seated. Gracie immediately lets go of my hand and races the rest of the way over, throwing her arms around all three of her grandparents in turn. Both sets of parents have done more for us in the past few years than we ever could have asked for.

Two days a week Gracie stays with her Nonna, Rachel’s mom. One night a weekend she stays with my parents. Stacy and Nick take her a couple of days after school so I can work and study and Rachel can finish practice and study. It’s nice for them too. Gracie entertains their daughter, Layla Grace. G comes to get her whenever she wants, always saying how much she misses having her girl full time.

When Gracie is at home, she has Uncle Tanner and Katie, and Uncle Griff when he comes down from Portland where he works now. She has family. And every day, Rachel’s words are truer: the love is strong.

I’m two years away from finishing my mechanical-engineering degree. I started taking a shortened load after we got married—even though Rachel threw the mother of all fits.

“If anyone should sacrifice, it should be me.”

“What exactly am I sacrificing, Rachel?”

“School, you big idiot.”

“I’m not sacrificing. I’m taking less so I can work at the shop more and be here for you and Gracie. It’s a few years longer in school—I’m not quitting.”

“I don’t care. You shouldn’t have to do that. I’ll do it. I’ll stop playing and get a job.”

“Now who’s being an idiot?
Listen
before you punch me. I want to do this—school isn’t going anywhere. I’m still enrolled, still taking classes, still getting my degree. Your school is paid for by the team now. You can’t quit.”

Because she’s Rachel, she still argued, even though she saw my point. In the end, though, I won. I know she still worries, but I love working at the shop with Tanner and my dad. I’m getting my degree so I can do more—give my family more—but working there, being able to spend time with my daughter and wife, being able to support them without so much help from our families, it’s the most important thing to me.

“Tripp,” Dr. C says when I stop at our seats. I smile and lean down to kiss her on the cheek. Then I repeat the process with my own mom, slapping my dad on the back before I sit next to him.

“Where’s Tanner?” he asks and I smile.

“He and Katie had a few things to do take care of before they headed out. He said they would be here on time.”

One look at my dad’s face and I burst out laughing. Katie and Tanner have been together for what feels like forever, but one thing hasn’t changed no matter how long it’s been—they are forever “taking care of one more thing” before they go anywhere. I swear, they hump like rabbits—all day, every day.

“Those two,” he says. I smile while I watch Rachel switch from stretching to ball work. She won’t look at me until right before the game, but I’ll watch her the entire time.

“I’m just grateful they wait until the house is empty.”

My dad laughs, though my mom scowls. She can’t understand why Tanner hasn’t proposed, but I don’t think he needs to. I don’t think Katie needs him to. They’re happy; they’re together—for them, that’s enough.

The buzzer sounds and the announcer welcomes us all, explaining that today is the last home game for the seniors. He goes on to ramble about how large of an impact they’ve had in their four years. They won’t do the family ceremony and flowers until after the game.

As they announce the visiting team, Gracie taps my arm and I lift her onto my lap. We’ve watched every home game Rachel had just like this. As if she’s always known, Gracie would play until the lineups were announced, and right before they got to our team, she would come and sit in my lap. Together, we would watch Rachel run out onto the court.

When Rachel walked on, she made the team and had to make the tough decision to keep playing and keep training—even though they didn’t have a scholarship for her. She got a partial her sophomore year, and a full at the beginning of her junior year. Now, she’s finishing her senior season. In a few months, she’ll be graduating with her degree in Wellness and Nutrition. She’s been talking to her mom about applying to grad school so she can figure out what she wants to do with it.

“Daddy, look.”

Gracie points as Rachel’s name is called, and like she always has, Rachel turns and looks straight into our section, pressing a kiss to a single finger and holding it out to Gracie, who does the same. Then she looks at me. Gracie and I stand; two swipes of the shoulders, right then left, salute and hold it for a three count. She holds my eyes longer, those gray pools glowing as we recognize this moment and what it means. It’s our last one. Over twelve years strong, and that’s the last time.

Gracie tugs my hand and I look down. Until she starts playing in a few years, that is. I look back at Rachel and she’s still there, looking, and I do the same. Nothing else—just eye contact—and we both know what it means.

Life isn’t just one game, I’ve learned. It’s a series of them, an endless cycle of plays. Each decision we make impacts the next series. When I first met Rachel, I was the guy who always wanted the ball—the one who was always sure he could make the right play. Then I lost her, and I wasn’t sure I deserved to be that guy anymore. Now I have her, and I have our daughter. Though I still make mistakes, errors that I have to make up for, I’ve learned I can pick up and start over. My game doesn’t end just because I dropped the ball.

I don’t have a guarantee of how things are going to work out. But I do have my girls and my family. And in this life, that’s all I need.

Acknowledgments

Thank you thank you thank you! I am so grateful for every reader who sent me an email or a message after
Life Interrupted
came out. Rachel is my heart, the girl I wish all girls could be; the strong girl with a soft heart. When
Tripp
started, it was simply because certain scenes started to take form and I couldn’t ignore them. Five months later, he’s completed and I adore him.

A huge hug of gratitude to Billi Joy Carson from Editing Addict for taking this manuscript and outdoing herself. I know I have crutch words, Billi, I’m working on them. Thanks to James at GoOnWrite.com for the cover, and thanks to Amber for reading so many versions, additions, subtractions to Tripp. Your ability to read so much so quickly is a superpower.

Thanks to my beautiful husband and daughter for making me smile even when all I want to do is lose myself in the computer. Love you both long time.

If you liked Tripp, please consider leaving a review on Amazon and Goodreads. I am an indie writer and your reviews are what help push this book from obscurity to other reader’s hands. For teasers, information on what I’m working on, or just because you want to chat, see any of the links below. I’d love to talk with you. A final thank you to all readers for taking the time to read my work; you’re what it’s all about.