Trouble (14 page)

‘Annette,’ said Spicer, ‘I am way beyond worrying about this baby’s gender, I just worry for all our sanity. You ought to think seriously about going to stay with your mother.’

‘How could I? What about the children?’

‘Jason and Susan? They’re hardly children any more,’ said Spicer. ‘They’ve had to grow up too fast. I can get someone to come in a couple of hours a day after school easily enough, to fill in the time before I get back. They’re not accustomed to much mothering, God knows. The Pizza & Video generation. Prime candidates. Now this next one turns up for another round of punishment.’

‘Oh, Spicer—’ said Annette.

‘What?’

‘You sound so cold,’ said Annette, ‘and hateful.’

‘Oh Annette,’ said Spicer, ‘you do so little to warm me up, and the hate flows from you, not from me. Is this all for Wendy’s benefit?’

‘Of course not.’

‘Because I have a new telephone system, and from now on calls on this number come over the speaker in Wendy’s room and are recorded.’

‘Why didn’t you tell me? Don’t you have a private number?’

‘I don’t think I can trust you with it, Annette,’ said Spicer. ‘Not with you in the mood you are.’

‘Hello, child,’ said Annette’s mother Judy.

‘Why hello, Mum,’ said Annette. ‘How are things with you?’

‘Just fine, sweetheart,’ said Judy. ‘And you?’

‘Just fine, Mum,’ said Annette.

‘Now don’t say that, Annette,’ said Judy. ‘I know they’re not because dear Spicer rang and he said things were definitely not right with you. He is so concerned. I’d worry much less about you if you would only tell me what was really going on, instead of pretending everything’s okay when it isn’t.’

‘What was Spicer concerned about?’

‘Don’t sound like that, Annette,’ said Judy. ‘You’re lucky to have a husband who cares. So many don’t. Spicer asked me to talk to you: apparently he’s having some kind of therapy and you’ve developed an obsessional aversion to whoever it is he goes to see. Is this so?’

‘You could see it like that,’ said Annette.

‘Because it’s not very helpful of you, dear,’ said Judy. ‘Not that I’m in favour of shrinks, they do encourage introspection so, but if Spicer wants to be in the swing of things I suppose he should be allowed. I don’t see why you should object. It only causes trouble.’

‘It’s all a bit complicated, Mum,’ said Annette.

‘But you’re all right? In yourself?’

‘Yes of course,’ said Annette.

‘Because Spicer seemed to think you wanted to come and stay with me and Dad for a while.’

‘It might be a little difficult to arrange,’ said Annette.

‘That’s what I told Spicer,’ said Judy. ‘I don’t think it’s a good idea at all; you can’t just leave Susan and Jason on their own, and you need to be near the hospital.’

‘Yes, I know,’ said Annette.

‘I don’t really know what Spicer was thinking of, suggesting it,’ said Judy. ‘Men are so impractical. They seem to think women just have to wave a wand and it’s done. Your father and I lead very quiet lives; you know how he likes his routine. I must warn you, Annette, it is simply not a good idea for a wife to leave a husband alone if she can help it. Spicer’s bound to get into trouble. He is a very sexy man.’

‘Yes, he is, Mum,’ said Annette. ‘You’re quite right.’

‘And a good man is hard to find,’ said Judy. ‘Annette—’

‘Yes, Mum?’

‘Did Spicer actually get round to putting the house in your joint names, dear?’

‘I don’t think so,’ said Annette. ‘I’d have known, wouldn’t I? I’d have had to have signed something?’

‘Because he was going to do that as security for the loan your father gave him,’ said Judy. ‘This whole family is so vague and trusting. And Spicer hasn’t made any repayments lately and your father doesn’t like to press him, it’s so un-family, and he rather wondered if you’d bring the matter up with Spicer. You married him after all, and it was because of you your father made the loan, and though the whole world seems to rejoice when interest rates go down, I’m sure your father and I don’t. It’s what we live off. And a whole chunk of capital is tied up in Spicer’s business.’

‘I’m sure it’s all okay, Mum,’ said Annette. ‘Spicer knows what he’s doing.’

‘That’s what worries me,’ said Judy. ‘Men do tend to. Annette, I don’t like saying this, but whatever you do, don’t leave the matrimonial home.’

‘Why would I want to do a thing like that?’ asked Annette.

‘Because I feel uneasy, Annette,’ said Judy. ‘Why does Spicer want you out of the way? Has he found someone else? Is that what the matter is? Men do get very odd when their wives are pregnant.’

‘Don’t ill-wish me, Mother,’ said Annette.

‘That’s a perfectly horrible thing to say, Annette,’ said her mother.

‘Please don’t you get upset, Mum,’ said Annette. ‘It didn’t mean anything. I was joking.’

‘I lie awake worrying about you, and all I get in return is this kind of insult. Of course I’m not ill-wishing you. How can you think such a thing?’

‘Sorry, sorry, sorry,’ said Annette. Her headache had returned.

‘Olive Green speaking. How can I help you?’

‘I’d like to make an appointment to see Dr Solstice, please,’ asked Annette, on the phone to the Health Centre.

‘Who’s speaking?’

‘Mrs Horrocks. Annette Horrocks.’

‘In future,’ said the receptionist, ‘please try and contact the appointment desk before nine
A.M.’

‘I thought that was just for house calls,’ said Annette.

‘Not any more,’ said Olive Green. ‘By nine
A.M.
we’ve usually filled our books for the day. We run a busy and efficient service here, Mrs Horrocks.’

‘I don’t doubt it,’ said Annette. ‘I just need to come in and see Dr Solstice now.’

‘Now? Dr Solstice is fully booked until next Friday afternoon. He’s very busy.’

‘Jesus Christ!’ said Annette.

‘There is no need to be abusive,’ said Olive Green.

‘I wasn’t,’ said Annette. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘According to our computer records you’ve missed three Clinic appointments without explanation,’ said Olive Green. ‘So I am unable to fix an appointment anyway, unless you send a formal letter of request.’

‘That’s insane,’ said Annette.

‘I don’t like your attitude, Mrs Horrocks,’ said Olive Green, ‘and I don’t make the rules. But what’s the point of making appointments for you if you don’t mean to keep them?’

‘I don’t want to get into an argument with you,’ said Annette, ‘and I’m sorry I’ve upset you somehow, but I’m seven months pregnant and I don’t think I’m very well and I need to see someone today.’

‘If it’s an emergency,’ said the receptionist, ‘we suggest you go to Casualty at the Royal Free hospital. Otherwise your best plan is to attend tomorrow’s Clinic. You can’t not turn up there and then demand special attention from the doctor just on a whim.’

‘I’m not demanding,’ said Annette. ‘It’s not a whim. I just need to see a doctor, for fuck’s sake.’

‘Please try not to be so aggressive,’ said Olive Green.

‘Why? Will it go on my notes?’ asked Annette.

‘It already has,’ said Olive Green. ‘Swearing always does. We have to put up with a lot, but we don’t have to put up with this.’ And she put the phone down.

‘It’s been a dreadful day, Gilda. Spicer was so horrible on the phone I could have died; my mother ill-wished me and when I tried to get an appointment with the doctor it just ended up with me having a row with this person on the appointment desk.’

‘That will be Olive Green,’ said Gilda. ‘She’s always like that. You have to creep and crawl and beg for help before she relents and lets you see someone. Then she’s the one dispensing charity: it’s the only way she has of being kind. Why do you want to see a doctor?’

‘I just get headaches all the time,’ said Annette.

‘Personally, I blame Spicer,’ said Gilda.

‘I expect it has a lot to do with it,’ said Annette. ‘He’s had a new phone system put in, so if I ring him the calls are public. You’ve no idea how hurtful that is.’

‘You shouldn’t be hurt,’ said Gilda. ‘He’s just got one of the new systems that records everything automatically.’

‘How do you know that?’ asked Annette.

‘Steve told me,’ said Gilda.

‘I see,’ said Annette.

‘No need to say “I see” in that tone of voice,’ said Gilda. ‘Are you feeling okay? Spicer told Steve you were insane, suffering from a paranoid episode. I told Steve there was nothing insane about it: the proper response to Spicer is paranoia. Do you want me to come round?’

‘No. I’m okay,’ said Annette. ‘Susan’s cooking us supper. Jason’s sulking in his room because I made him throw away a marijuana plant he was growing on his windowsill. At this very minute Spicer’s seeing Dr Rhea.’

‘I thought you said he’d given up seeing her,’ said Gilda.

‘He’s changed his mind,’ said Annette. ‘He says he can’t cope with me without help from her.’

‘That figures,’ said Gilda. ‘It’s how you train dogs. You’re quixotic. They never know what to expect next, a kick or a pat, so they end up fawning and licking every boot that comes along.’

‘But I haven’t given in about Oprah Winfrey,’ said Annette. ‘I won’t. And that’s what it’s all about, I’m sure. Or most of it.’

‘You look for one thing in a marriage going wrong,’ said Gilda, ‘you look for another: you can never quite be sure. If I were you, I’d go and see this Dr Rhea Marks on your own and just tell her to leave Spicer alone. She’s spoiling your marriage and damaging your health.’

‘I’m frightened of her,’ said Annette. ‘I only have to think about her and I get a headache.’

‘Or issue Spicer an ultimatum,’ said Gilda. ‘“Her or me”.’

‘Ultimatums are dangerous,’ said Annette. ‘Supposing he chooses her? No, I just have to sit it out until the baby’s born. My mother’s always saying men behave in a peculiar way when their wives are pregnant.’

‘That’s because your father had an affair when she was pregnant with you,’ said Gilda.

‘Fancy you remembering that, Gilda!’ said Annette. ‘I’m touched. You’re a really good friend to me.’

‘I try to be, Annette,’ said Gilda. ‘Look, there’s something I have to say to you. About Spicer.’

‘What?’ asked Annette.

‘It was a long time ago,’ said Gilda.

‘I don’t want to hear this,’ said Annette.

‘I think you ought to know. It was when he was having this thing with Marion,’ said Gilda.

‘You knew about that?’ asked Annette.

‘Yes,’ said Gilda.

‘Then why didn’t you tell me?’

‘Because it’s so difficult. You know that perfectly well,’ said Gilda.

‘And anyway, I had my suspicions about you and Ernie Gromback, and I thought Spicer was probably just evening things up a little. It was just all too complicated. And Spicer’s so charming, and you and I weren’t such good friends then.’

‘Please just tell me, Gilda,’ said Annette. ‘I don’t want to hear your excuses. What happened?’

‘Nothing happened,’ said Gilda.

‘Liar,’ said Annette.

‘It didn’t,’ said Gilda. ‘I promise. Spicer just wanted me to make up a threesome with him and Marion.’

‘I can’t believe that! Was he drunk, or on drugs, or what?’

‘It was only a phone call, Annette,’ said Gilda. ‘I didn’t know him well enough to tell if he was on anything.’

‘And where was I?’ asked Annette.

‘I think your father was ill,’ said Gilda.

‘And did you?’ asked Annette. ‘A threesome? Oh, Gilda!’

‘Of course I didn’t. I was with Steve by then anyway,’ said Gilda.

‘But why should he think you would?’ asked Annette. ‘Why should he call you?’

‘Because Marion told Spicer about her and me ending up in bed together after some stupid drunken party. I’d had so much of this and that I couldn’t tell male from female, and things happened that shouldn’t have. Marion’s like that. Anything for kicks. Of course she’s into celibacy now, or says she is, for Ernie’s benefit.’

‘Oh God, I don’t want to know any of this,’ said Annette. ‘I just want to have some kind of decent home to bring my baby into.’

‘I feel better now I’ve told you,’ said Gilda. ‘Please don’t say anything to Steve.’

‘I just want to forget the whole thing. If you said no, who do you think said yes? Eleanor Watts?’

‘It isn’t beyond the bounds of probability,’ said Gilda. ‘Just because she looks like a horse doesn’t mean she doesn’t enjoy an orgy. Annette, it was at least ten years ago and we were all a lot younger. I’ll come round tomorrow and we’ll talk more, shall we? Spicer does love you, Annette. He just has a lot of sexual energy but he’s not very good at sex so he has to experiment,’ said Gilda. ‘I’m only speculating. And anyway, according to Steve, Spicer’s trying to reform. That’s why he’s been seeing this therapist: for your sake.’

‘Is that what Spicer told Steve, or what Steve thinks for himself?’ asked Annette. ‘Or what you’re all just saying to make me feel better?’

‘What Spicer told Steve,’ said Gilda. ‘Spicer wants to make a go of the marriage: he’s trying to settle down sexually. I didn’t know how much you knew about what Spicer gets up to. Now I know about you and Ernie Gromback I reckon there’s no point in you not knowing everything I know. Some marriages depend upon fidelity: some don’t. Mine and Steve’s does. Yours and Spicer’s doesn’t.’

‘It does so,’ said Annette.

‘You took Marion quite calmly,’ said Gilda. ‘I’d have gone mad.’

‘I just feel so depressed,’ said Annette. ‘I’m going to bed. Susan’s making cheeseburgers. I can’t face them. She slices the onion really thick.’

‘Spicer.’

‘What is it, Annette? I’m reading. I thought you’d gone to bed.’

‘I went to bed early,’ said Annette. ‘At eight o’clock. What time did you get in?’

‘Around midnight,’ said Spicer.

‘I didn’t put any fruit out for you. I’m sorry. There’s some in the fridge I bought specially. Shall I fetch it?’

‘That’s okay, Annette. I ate out.’

‘It isn’t very warm in here,’ said Annette. ‘You’ve opened the windows.’

‘This temperature suits me,’ said Spicer. ‘You keep the house hotter than I really like.’

‘Isn’t it too dark to read? You’re using candles.’

‘Candles are natural, Annette,’ said Spicer. ‘Electricity is cold and harsh.’