Authors: Trice Hickman
A
fter a long day that had ended with a good meal, Alexandria and PJ were preparing for bed.
She wanted to call Gary, whom she'd been thinking about ever since she and PJ had spoken to him earlier that afternoon. She looked at her watch and knew he was already asleep, so she planned to call Ms. Brown and check on him first thing tomorrow morning.
“How do you feel?” PJ asked, letting a yawn escape his mouth.
“I feel good, and I had a great time with you and your father tonight.”
“Yeah, and I feel bad about saying I didn't want him here. I don't like the circumstances, of course, but I'm glad he came to Nedine, and that he cares enough about me to want to make sure I'm safe.”
Alexandria smiled. “That's love.”
“Sure is.” PJ nodded and let out another yawn, stretching his arms as he lay back onto the soft comfort of the bed.
“You tired?” she asked.
“Exhausted. After the week I had at work and all the activities we did today, I'm beat. As a matter of fact, once I take a shower I think it's gonna be a wrap.”
“I'll be right behind you. But first I need to go talk with Grandma Allene. She's downstairs, waiting for me.”
PJ looked at her with wonderment. “Sometimes I wish I had your gift, or at least some parts of it. If I did, I'd talk to my grandpa Fred. I really miss him.”
Alexandria could see a glimmer of sadness in PJ's eyes. He'd developed severe asthma when he was six years old, sending him in and out of hospitals for several years. During those times, Parker would visit him in between his rounds, but it was Parker's father, Fred Brightwood, who had stayed at the hospital with PJ each day. Alexandria wished he could talk with his grandpa Fred, too. But she knew that wasn't going to happen.
“Honey, your grandpa is with you every day. Even though you can't talk with him, his spirit is close by, and always will be, until you two meet again.”
PJ hesitated, then gave Alexandria a curious look. “When will that be? When will I see him again?”
She knew he was really asking her when his time was going to expire on this earth. It was a question that Alexandria didn't want to know the answer to, and had purposefully put out of her mind. The only reason she knew when she was going to pass on was because it had been revealed to her during a conversation with Allene, and even then, she was sorry that she knew. But she couldn't bring herself to speculate about PJ because the burden of knowing would be too great. She'd decided that she was going to live every day with him as though it was their last together, and in doing that, she would enjoy the journey instead of being attached to its outcome.
Alexandria walked over to the edge of the bed, where PJ was sitting. She took his hand in hers and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I honestly don't know, and I have no desire to learn the answer to that question. Life is a gift and we need to enjoy each day that we're blessed to have instead of thinking about the next.”
“You're right.” PJ leaned in and gave her a gentle kiss. “Now go and talk with Grandma Allene. I'll try to wait up for you, but I might be asleep when you get back.”
“Don't wait up. Get some rest because we've got a busy day tomorrow. I think I'm going to be on the front porch with my grandma for a long time.”
Alexandria gave PJ a good-night kiss and then rose from the bed. She walked out into the hallway and was headed downstairs when she saw her mother and father slip into their room. Both their faces looked worried, and Alexandria instantly knew that Parker was the cause. In a flash she felt the negative energy of his visit that had ended just moments ago. She was tempted to close her eyes and watch the vision come to her so she could see what happened, but she decided against it. She knew that at the moment she had to concentrate and prepare for her first live, face-to-face meeting with her grandma Allene.
A
llene could only shake her head in amazement as she thought about the scene she'd just witnessed on the front porch. Victoria, Ted, and Parker had been caught in a love triangle for nearly thirty years. Even though time had moved along, the pain of betrayal between Ted and Victoria hadn't. And now Parker's presence in Nedine along with his unexpected appearance here tonight had added more tension to an already heated situation.
Allene knew she couldn't get involved and that the three of them needed to work out their long-standing problems on their own. “Lord ha' mercy. Look over all three of 'em, 'cause they need it,” Allene said with a sigh. She also knew that Alexandria was aware of the situation and that she, too, had come to the same understanding.
She stretched her long legs as she pivoted back and forth in her rocking chair. She rubbed her wrinkled fingers back and forth along the top of the armrest and smiled. “This old chair's been through a lot, and seen a lot, too. Just like me and the ones before me.”
From Allene's great-grandmother, Susan Jessup, down to Allene, four generations of women had sat and rocked in that chair. They'd cried, laughed, raised their families, buried loved ones, celebrated, mourned, and then found joy again. They were women of strong will, body, and mind, and they held themselves and their families together knowing that love was the greatest blessing they could pass on to the next generation.
“I love nights like this,” Allene said. “Makes me think about the old days when I'd sit on my little front porch and count my blessin's.” She looked up at the diamond-like stars in the sky, and took a deep breath to absorb everything around her. The night air was hot and sticky, but the peaceful sounds of crickets chirping in the distance and the gentle rustle the leaves made as they swayed on the trees gave her a sense of calm, which was what she needed considering all that was about to happen.
She looked over to her right when she heard the front door open and saw Alexandria walk onto the porch. Allene had yet to make herself visible in the flesh, but she knew that the girl was aware of her presence. She watched Alexandria as the beautiful young woman stood still, looking at the rocking chair that Allene was occupying. She walked to the side of the porch and sat down just a foot away from Allene's chair.
“I'm glad I'm here, Grandma Allene,” Alexandria said as a shade of sadness covered her voice. “But I'm so worried and confused. I'm not sure of what to do or when to use my gift. Sometimes I think I have it figured out, but then on days like today . . . well, I know for sure that I don't. I feel like I'm running in a maze.
“Sometimes I want to look into the future and know everything that's going to happen to me and the people I love. Then I remember what you've told me about how interfering isn't always good. I know you're right, but there've been times when I wish I'd said something, but didn't. Then there've been times when I've been sorry that I opened my mouth at all, or I wish I'd tried to prevent something from happening that I saw coming. I just don't know, Grandma.”
Allene took a deep breath and closed her eyes. When she opened them again, she could see Alexandria's smile widen across her face.
Happy tears spilled from Alexandria's eyes as she covered her mouth with both her hands. “I can see you!” she said in an excited whisper. “I've waited so long to see you up close, face-to-face, in the flesh, and not in some distant vision. This feels like a dream, but I know it's not.”
Allene smiled back at her. “No, baby girl. This ain't a dream. I'm here and this is real.”
Alexandria tilted her head to the side, looking as though she'd just stumbled upon a unicorn. Allene had to laugh at her great-great-granddaughter's expression as the girl continued to stare at her in awe.
“Grandma, you're taller than I thought. I mean, even though you're sitting down, I can see that you're taller than I am.”
Allene nodded. “Nearly six foot in my bare feet. Back in my day, I was considered somethin' of a giant, especially for a woman. It was a good and bad thing. But then again, I was never one to pay much mind to what folks thought. I had too much livin' to do to worry about that.”
“My mom said that everyone on her paternal side of the family was tall, men and women alike.”
“That's true.”
“And you're beautiful, too. Your skin looks smooth, like I remember Grandpa John's used to be. You sure don't look ninety-eight,” Alexandria said, then paused. “But you're much older than that now, right?”
“I'll always be ninety-eight in my mind. But you're right. If you count up all the time I been around, shoot, I'm older than some of those trees you see out in this here yard.” Allene pointed her long fingers toward the majestic pines that lined the property's entrance.
“I've never seen trees and flowers more beautiful than the ones here in Nedine.”
Allene nodded. “Nature is the oldest form of life. God made the earth, sun, moon, and stars before he made us. We're connected to the ground and the sky. It's a part of who we are, and that's why I love everything that blooms from the ground, like those magnolias you see and smell. And I always look up to show thanks to the stars shinin' in the sky. Always remember to take time to appreciate nature. Honor and respect it 'cause it was here before us and it'll be here long after we pass on.”
“I'll remember that.” Alexandria looked up at the night sky as she breathed in the sweet air. “I knew I'd learn so much from you. I'm thankful you're here, and that I'm with you.” She opened her arms and moved toward Allene, but then she stopped when she saw the look on Allene's face. “I can't hug you, can I?”
“I'm 'fraid not. We can't mix our worlds through touch. The best I can do is sit here on this porch and look at you, like I'm doin' right now.”
Alexandria looked disappointed. “I understand.”
“Bein' in your time is a blessin' for me. It took a lot for me to get here. I'll never forget when my great-grandma came to me in the livin' world. It was the first time I saw her outside of a vision or dream, and it was also the last time I saw her while I was alive.”
Alexandria's eyes grew wide. “This isn't going to be the last time I see you in my world, is it?”
“No, baby girl. I'ma be around for a good while.”
Allene's answer gave them both a measure of comfort. They shared a few silent moments before Allene spoke. “Let's talk,” she said in a concerned voice. “What's this about you feelin' worried and confused ?”
“I've been making a lot of mistakes. I know this weekend is important for our family, and I'm struggling between wanting to know what's going to happen, and allowing life to play out as it's supposed to.”
“Join the club. It takes time.”
Alexandria nodded. “Sometimes I feel like my time is running out and if I don't make a decision about a situation something bad will happen.
“You just gotta do like I do and trust your gut.”
“But you're wise, and you know so much more than I do.”
Allene shook her head. “I don't know everything and I never will. All anyone can do, whether they have the gift or not, is pray and try to make the best decisions they can.”
Alexandria looked down toward her feet. “I'm sorry that I didn't listen to you this afternoon when you were trying to warn me about confronting Christian. I lost control and I feel really bad about what I said.”
Allene shook her head as she let out a deep sigh. “You sure did tell him off.”
“Even though Christian deserved a good cussing out and a few other things, I should've taken your advice and been quiet. But instead I exposed his plan to steal property from Mom, and I almost told about how he forged Daddy's name in order to steal money. Those things are between him and my parents, and it wasn't my business to tell.”
“Well, when it comes to family, it is your business. I just didn't want you to work yourself up to a point where you looked too far into the future. But you did right by exposin' what he was fixin' to do to your mama. This house been in our family a long time, and it's gonna stay that way thanks to you.”
“Yeah, I guess me opening my mouth about that was a good thing. But I know Daddy wants to deal with Christian in his own way, and I almost ruined things.”
“There ain't no need in beatin' yourself up over somethin' that's already happened, 'specially since you can't change it. The good thing is that you understand what you did and what you need to do the next time, 'cause there will be a next time, trust me. That brother of yours . . . Lord ha' mercy.”
“I love him and I'm so worried about him. I know we have to deal with his addiction head-on.”
Allene nodded. “You're right.”
“But I'll tell you this. Christian can change his ways if he wants to.”
“That's the key. If he wants to. He's been partying and dabbling in drugs for so long that he thinks what he's doing is normal. He's in denial, and honestly, I guess I've been, too. I knew he had a problem, but until this weekend I never saw him as an addict.”
Allene shook her head. “That boy knows right from wrong, and he knows he's goin' around doin' wrong, he just don't care is all. He's gonna have to lose somethin' he cares about for him to change. It might take a real long time, or it might take just one day, but before he closes his eyes on this side of life, a change in him is gonna come, and when it does you'll have a different brother.”
“Thank goodness there's hope for him.”
“There's always hope. Don't never give up on anything or anyone.”
“My mom says the same thing.”
“She's right.”
Alexandria exhaled and looked up at the moonlit sky again. “I have so much to learn.”
“You know more than you think, baby girl. You just gotta be patient. Take your time and do the best you can with what you have and what you know.”
“That's just it. I don't know what I should act on or what I should block out. Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy.”
Allene wished she could take Alexandria through a crash course in prophecy, but she knew that was impossible from her own experience. It had taken her years to fully embrace her gift, let alone figure out how to use it. But she was glad that although Alexandria was experiencing worries and frustration, the girl's abilities were growing, even if she didn't realize it. Allene knew that once Alexandria fully matured into who she was destined to be, she would use what she'd learned to help others in need. The thought made Allene proud.
“Grandma, please tell me what to do about this weekend.”
“What do you mean?”
Alexandria paused, and Allene could see the doubt and questions in her eyes. “Tomorrow morning when everything starts happening, how will I know when to act and when to just stay still?”
“That's a hard one, and there ain't no easy answer. There's gonna be times when you might have to do both. The only way to know which road to travel is to look at what's in front of you, listen to your gut and trust it. Your gut is God, and He won't never lead you wrong.”
“Just a little while ago, PJ asked me how long he was going to live. I've never wanted to know that answer, mostly because of the worry it might bring, and the fact that if I know when, where, and how, I will most definitely try to prevent it.”
“Which might cause even more problems.”
“I know.”
“What did you tell him?”
“I said we should just enjoy each day as it comes,” Alexandria said with a heavy weight in her words. “I know you're right, and I believe in what I said. But sometimes a small part of me wants to know, not just about him, but about Mom and Dad, and Gary, too.”
“I sure do understand that longin' to know. But please don't walk that road.”
“It's hard not to when you want to protect the people you love.”
Allene felt Alexandria's pain because she'd experienced the same thing. Wanting, but then not wanting to know, about deaths, births, fortunes, losses, loves, and broken hearts had caused her many sleepless nights. That was the primary reason why she had refused to live in the very house on which porch she now sat. Allene had loved her family more than she could put into words, and she had known that if she lived under the same roof with Isaiah and Henrietta, she'd be tempted to peer into the future to see what it held for them.
She remembered the day Isaiah had come to her, knowing he was sick, wanting her to confirm whether the cancer growing inside his body was fatal, or if there was something that could be done. She'd stood in the middle of her living room, looked into Isaiah's eyes, and known right away that his disease was too far along, and that any treatment he received would only put a Band-Aid on a wound that couldn't be healed. She listened to her motherly instincts and to what her gut was telling her, and then she stretched her arms to embrace him as she delivered the sad news to her beloved child.
Looking back, Allene was glad she'd told her son what to expect. Isaiah had lived a good life, and he'd still had time to put important things in order to protect and provide for his family. He'd enjoyed three more years of love and laughter with them, and held on just long enough to witness the birth of a granddaughter who would proudly carry on his legacy and one day return to the house he'd built. Allene smiled, knowing that this visit would start Victoria's journey back to Nedine, where she and Ted would settle in for the rest of their days.
Just as Allene had done with Isaiah, and now Victoria, there were plenty of times when she'd looked into the future to see what was going to happen to someone she loved. But the tricky part of venturing down that road was trusting her gift enough to know when her gut was talking, versus her human heart. For that reason, whenever she talked to Alexandria in a vision, she always told her to pray for guidance in all situations.