Truce or Dare (Sweet Fortuity Book 1) (13 page)

W
hen I woke up
, I was partially covered with a blanket, and the room was darker. Gone was the soft music, but I could hear the rattling of pans from the kitchen, and voices, speaking in low tones.

The corner-lamp was turned on, but it only emitted a soft glow. As I sat up, I was pleasantly surprised to find my Macbook on the center-table.

The thoughtfulness was endearing. They brought it here for me, because they understood what writing meant to me.

I carried my laptop and walked to the kitchen.

All eyes went to me.

“Hey,” I said.

“Hey, you,” Haley said with a small, reassuring smile. “Dinner will be done in ten.”

“That’s fine. Just didn’t want to be alone,” I admitted. Still clutching my laptop, I added, “Thanks for bringing me this.”

“Oh, nearly forgot,” Haley said. She grabbed something from the corner of the counter and pushed it front of me.

My phone.

I’d forgotten it in my rush to leave.

I thanked her, switched it off, and pocketed it. I didn’t want to deal with anyone for now.

“Do you need help?” I asked, seeing the ingredients laid out on the table.

“Nah, we’re good. Just a matter of waiting until it’s cooked,” Kate told me.

After helping put away some of them, I opened my laptop and worked on the table, shifting around index cards, working on character sheets.

Anything to not think about him.

“Sherr.” There was something about Kate’s voice that caught my attention and made me look up.

“You know, I always thought after you left, that you just didn’t want to talk to us, that you felt you were above us. That’s why I was afraid to call you,” she said, her eyes softening. "I was wrong, wasn't I?" she mused. "Always busy. Always working. Honey, forget about spending time with us; when was the last time you made time for yourself?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"There wasn't any time,” I said, but even I could hear in my voice that it was merely a weak excuse.

"I think you're shoving everything aside by putting your work first," she stated boldly. "What happened, Sherr? That's all we really want to understand. You just ran away. All we know was Chase made all this grand set up to propose for weeks, he was really looking forward to it. We never expected you to say no. He was broken, Sherr."

I knew that. I knew it was my fault. And when I came to him to talk, or to fix it, instead, I lost everything.

My head went down to her shoulder and a sob escaped me. I covered a hand on my mouth, as if by stifling the sound, it would make the pain less valid, less real.

"I was scared,” I confessed. “I didn't think I was ready for it. I didn't think it would all be gone. He said maybe it was best to end it, if we didn't want the same things."

Everything came pouring out.

Kate looked at me, sympathetic. “That's why you left.”

"That's why I left… And the people, Kate, I just felt so trapped."

"I see," she said, and her voice masked an emotion I couldn't name. "He had your trust, and he breached it."

I hadn't thought of it that way. She was right, but it didn't mean I had no role in it. And right now, it felt like all the heat in the world couldn’t warm me.

* * *

I checked my phone.

There were five calls and three messages, and one voicemail. I was nearly going to pocket it again, when curiosity won.

I wanted to know what he wanted to say. I compromised with myself and decided that I'd only check one.

Breath held in, I waited for the message.

"I'm sorry. I just... Fuck. I'm not good with words. I just wanted to understand why. There are a lot of things I want to say, but not over the phone. When you're ready, call me.”

It must not have mattered all that much to you.

I couldn't allow myself to believe the words, because if you believed what you felt to be an absolute truth, you were almost always disappointed. And if you were disappointed, it meant you were foolish enough to let it get to you, to let yourself feel something. And I already decided back in the pouring rain two years ago, falling in love again was the last thing I wanted.

Expect nothing. Then if the impossible happened, then it was nothing short of a miracle.

I didn’t call.

I didn’t think about his voice, how weary it sounded. I didn’t think about that night, when he told me to hold on. I didn’t think about what it felt like when our lips met, like everything in the world tilted, shifted, until it just felt right, in a way it hadn't when we were apart.

And I went to bed thinking about how I’ve never lied so hard to myself.

* * *

I
tossed
and turned all night. It was so easy to shut everything off before and lose myself to the darkness, but now that I needed it, it wouldn’t come.

As I snuck downstairs, I realized that apparently I wasn’t the only one who couldn’t.

I heard the television playing some game show and abruptly changing into something that sounded like tennis, and found Kate flicking through channels.

I took a small tub of cookies and cream ice cream and grabbed a spoon. I sat down next to her, and snatching a pillow from the far end to sit on my lap.

It surprised me when she spoke. "Has he even once asked how you were?"

"I don't want to talk about this anymore."

"Sherr," she said sternly. "Has he?"

I shook my head, unable to answer.

"Has he seen how much you're hurting?”

He should’ve
.

When I didn’t answer, she continued, “Sherr, can I be real with you?”

I nodded, grasping the pillow tightly.

"I know you both had something special. But the people in your life who want you there will fight to keep you there. They won't give up. And they will never drop you," she said earnestly. "Not in that way."

Her words resonated with me.

Not all good things were fleeting. Some lasted, and some rebuilt, stronger than before.

My heart felt light. Freer somehow.

Knowing she was here for me, and that she understood me meant the world to me.

And that was enough.

I
struggled
to keep my mind occupied.

I checked all emails. I responded to all messages. I checked all social media sites. Refreshed the page. Once. Twice.

Then I quickly realized it wasn’t numbing enough.

I skipped every love song in my playlist, and when I found out there was too damn much of them, I had to go make a new one.

Right when I was about to give up, I saw a new unread email at the top. There was no subject. What caught my attention was the sender’s email address. It was my heroine and the name of a secondary character that she didn’t end up with, followed by a string of numbers at the end.

Leonardo and Kath
it said, with love-heart pasted pictures next to it. There were a lot of them, pasted without a care about their abundance. Below, it said in an especially large font–

Fuck Travis.

Kath ended up with Travis in my last book, but I’d never had such a strong reaction to being against my main pairing, considering my main focus was the couple. Still, I could see where the person was coming from.

I wrote back, apologizing, and saying Leo was going to have another book of his own in the near future, because that was how the story came to me.

To my surprise, the email bounced back. That was odd. Maybe I could explain on my blog at some point.

I shrugged it off, and then I got back into writing.

* * *

I
t was around four o’clock
, I was close to wanting to burn my story and kill off everyone, when I heard a rap on my door.

Kate came in, her hair was in a twisted up-do, wearing shorts and one of her favorite fitted t-shirts that read ‘I have nothing to wear’.

“You’ve been here for several hours, it’s kinda scary. Lets go out,” she said, pulling my hand.

“It’s only been three hours,” I protested.

Without warning, she pushed my laptop lid down, and said, “Too bad. You’re taking a break and going out with us," she announced, a hand on her hip. “I won't let you shut us out completely anymore." She gave me her intimidating stare, until I decided to just give in.

Besides, if I continued writing at this rate, I would probably hate myself later.

“Alright, alright,” I put my hands up in defeat. She wasn't that much taller than me, but she was stubborn as hell, and spontaneous. “Give me twenty and I’ll be ready," I conceded.

I stood up, stretching my arms and neck.

She jumped in excitement. “Awesome. Time to de-stress.”

* * *

W
e stopped
over at Sierra's first, and she pulled us into her room asking for clothing advice.

Sierra came out of her walk-in closet, and my mouth gaped open. She stood there wearing an oversized rainbow colored dress that reached just above her knees. She put her hands out to show how it stretched out.

"What are you wearing?" I gasped, staring.

"I'm horrified," Kate groaned, faking a shudder.

"No," Sierra pointed as she stood unsteadily on her feet. "You're jealous. It’s fabulous, I know.”

I snorted, chucking a pillow at her. She dodged in time.

“You’re kidding, right?” Haley said, shocked.

“What’s so bad about it?”

I couldn't tell if she was joking or not.

"You have plenty of clothes!" Kate looked at her like she was crazy. She probably was. "Have you even looked at your closet?"

She waved a hand away. "Bah. I've worn them all."

"So? There was a little sexy midnight blue dress that looked good on you.” Kate’s eyes glinted as she added mischievously, “Luke couldn't take his eyes off you when you wore it."

Luke was Abe's son. He was a part owner, and he helped expand it, and he apparently also owned a few other small businesses. He moved away with his mom a couple of years back. I had no idea they even talked, or that he just returned.

She looked at a loss for words. “What? I…” Whatever she was about to say died on her lips. Was she... Blushing?

"Oh my God." It hit me like a ton of bricks. "You like him!"

Her expression shifted into horror. “I can’t stand him! I’m pretty sure he feels the same way.”

I bit the inside of my cheek. For someone so smart, she had no idea. “Sure he does.”

“I’m not wearing this for him,” she suddenly declared.

Hmm… “You’re wearing that for him?”

“I’m not!” she cried out, outraged.

“I don’t understand.” Kate looked perplexed. “Why are you wearing that for him?”

“I said I’m not wearing them for him!” she snapped.

Her whole face was going red. She gathered all the clothes scattered on her bed in a bunch, grabbing the hangers. Haley was laughing as Sierra hurried back in without looking at us.

I’d seen Sierra mad before, but not like this. She looked like she was torn between crying and strangling us all. Whatever was happening between her and Luke was driving her out of her mind.

When she went downstairs, she'd donned a black coat. It managed to conceal the dress, but she didn't button it all the way up, and we’d seen what was inside. It was pretty hard to forget.

"You're still wearing the–"

She cut Kate off with a glare.

"Not. Another. Word," she punctuated each word on each attempt to get her shoes on.

* * *

L
ocal pub
, Serendipitous, was a popular hangout. I loved the atmosphere in the place. People were easy-going and friendly.

We met up with Eva there, she had to help with the restaurant first before coming over.

Not long after, the topic, to my horror, went back to Chase.

“But in all fairness,” Haley went on, “he gave you flowers. Who does that? And why would he do it if he didn’t feel so strongly?”

“Oh, I heard about that,” Kate said, rolling her eyes. “I also saw some pictures on Facebook. He has half the town sighing over him.”

“I bet he does,” I replied dryly. “Anyway, they don’t matter. I just need to get through this.”

Easier said than done.

"People can do sweet and crazy things, and don't mean them," Sierra said, playing devil’s advocate.

"I don't know… But I think everything happens for a reason."

Sierra grimaced. "You believe in having to experience heartbreak to get to the good parts in your life? That's kind of messed up."

"I believe in heartbreak teaching us a lesson. And I believe if it it's real, nothing could stop it from happening."

"Hmm… Do you ever wake up each day and wonder, what if I'd just said yes?"

"Sierra!" Eva admonished.

She grinned. "What? I'm sure you'd all like to know too."

Yep, no filter.

But that was okay. I didn't keep many secrets anymore, and I didn't see a reason to hide.

"Everyday," I replied. "But that's done. Some things we just can't ever take back." I let out a deep breath. "I was so stupid."

It dawned on Kate, what I was trying to say. “You slept with him.”

Sierra gave me a thumbs up. “That’s great. Got each other out of your sy– ow.”

Eva nudged her with an elbow, giving her a look.

Sierra pressed her lips closed, with an exaggerated effort to be silent.

“It’s not great. Well, it was, but it was a bad idea. Look at us now,” I babbled.

“You’re in love with him still,” Haley said gently.

I tried to tell her she was wrong, that there was no way I could still feel the same after everything, but the words wouldn’t come out.

“When I see him, I’m
so
gonna kick his ass,” Sierra declared, looking pissed. “Now that I think about it, he's not avoiding me, is he? I haven’t seen him around. Probably doesn’t want to endanger his balls.”

Kate spat her drink, and I couldn’t help the bubble of laughter that escaped from me.

* * *

As the evening progressed, it was becoming more apparent that something was up with Eva. She was oddly quiet. There was something going on with her, but when I asked her if she was all right, she assured me that she was fine.

There were times that someone would ask her something, and she would go still, looking a little lost, as if she didn’t quite follow the conversation. She tried too hard not to draw attention to herself that it was creating the opposite effect.

I let it go for now, but even Sierra gave me a shrug when Eva wasn’t looking.

When the music started playing, people became a lot more engaged, swaying to the music, and generally creating a livelier atmosphere.

“One year ago today, I met the most amazing person in my life. Prior to that, I had the shittiest breakup in the history of break-ups, but that’s another story.” Her laugh was sweet, and filled with so much joy, it was infectious. “I really believe everything that happened, led us here.”

Then she opened her mouth.

Her voice was pure gold, it was rich and smooth, but her emotional delivery stirred something in me, that by the time she finished, I found myself unable to stop crying.

She sang of not being capable of being loved. Of being stuck, of the transience of their relationship.

“Good night everyone,” she said with a dimpled smile. For being in a content and satisfying new relationship, the heart-break in her voice was raw and compelling.

“Free fortune cookies from Camelot’s Cupcakes and Cookies!” a woman called out, who I recognized worked at the counter once. “New coffee flavor.”

“Ohhh,” I gasped in delight. “Coffee and free!” Two of my favorite words. When she reached our table, I accepted one gratefully. “I love these things.”

Maybe it was pitiful, but we were like children when it came to these things. Eva looked the same, her eyes shone with excitement.

“Let’s crack them open all the same time,” Kate suggested. “Just for the heck of it.”

After finishing a countdown of three, we pulled the paper out, and then the table turned silent.

“‘Fortune favors the brave’,” I snorted, tossing my paper on the table. “Boring. What’s yours?” I asked Kate, nudging her shoulder. She sat in shock, gaping at the piece of paper, and to my surprise, she crumpled hers without a word.

I stared, confused. “Oh my God. Why? What did the poor tree ever do to you?”