True Colors (14 page)

****

I went to the library after my last class to wait for her and Ericka was on the computer. I sat with her, and we looked up websites on
As the Days Roll On
. I was going to print out a picture of Brad McMillan for Ashanti, but the stupid librarian came over, so we had to pretend we were looking at research stuff. Later, Ashanti's dad took us through the drive-thru for ice cream to celebrate her first day back.

“So what's up with you?” she asked, licking caramel off her spoon. “You guys are talking again, huh? I saw you and Ericka sitting together, but you never said anything about it on the phone.”

“We just started talking today,” I said.

“Are you still mad at them?” she asked. “It's kind of weird for them to assume they could just come up to you and everything would be okay.”

I hadn't thought about it. Why did they think I wouldn't still be angry?

“Oh, guess what?” she said. “My dad's addicted to
As the Days Roll On
now.”

“I hate the new girl who is always flirting with Colin,” I said.

Ashanti nodded and said Carrington's dresses were too low-cut, but her dad didn't say anything until she kicked the back of his seat.

“Oh yeah, what is she thinking with those outfits?” he said.

“Carrington better not go after my Bradley,” she said.

She asked if I wanted to come over, but I had to get home. I wanted to talk to Devon before my mom got home in case things didn't go well. I didn't want to have to explain what was going on to my mother. Devon's mom answered, and I could hear them talking and then I heard the sound of the phone scraping against the counter.

“Yeah?”

“Hi.” She didn't say anything so I kept talking. “I know you're mad at me because I made up—”

“No, you
don't
understand. I don't care if you're friends with them. I care they treated you like crap and now you're going back to them like everything is fine,” she said. “Just a second, I've got another call.” She clicked over and came back saying it was for her mom.

All I wanted to do was to make up with my old friends, and now it seemed like my new friend was dumping me. I could never be myself around Ericka, but I didn't have to worry about Peyton and Devon talking behind my back when I left the room. When I told Devon I wished I had dark curly hair like hers, she said she loved my hair color. Ericka had called it “albino blonde” and made me feel ugly. Now I had messed everything up.

I called Tori, but she was still at soccer practice, and Ericka was too busy helping her mom to talk on the phone. I had never called Peyton before, and I always got nervous when I call someone for the first time. Just because you can talk in person doesn't mean you'll have good phone conversations. I took a deep breath and called her.

“Hey, are you okay?” Peyton asked. “You sound upset.”

“Devon's mad at me. I tried talking to her, but she said her mom got another call and… I think she just didn't want to talk to me,” I said.

“Devon hangs up on the people she doesn't want to talk to — just ask India,” she said. “I don't think she's mad, but her feelings are hurt. She said she feels used. I guess we're all kind of wondering what's going on now since you're friends with those guys again,” she said.

“They just started talking to me and I ate lunch with them, but I have more fun with you guys,” I said.

“Are you going to start sitting with them in class?” she asked.

“No. I mean I'm glad to be talking to them again because it sucked when they were mad at me, but I want to hang out with you guys.”

“Are they going to get mad at you if you do?” she asked.

I wasn't sure. I didn't owe Ericka or Tori anything after the way they had treated me. I was relieved Tori and I were friends again, but I felt weird around her because she had changed on me so fast after the competition.

“I wasn't supposed to say anything, but you know how India's been acting weird lately?” she asked. “Well, she and Devon got into a fight right after you guys got those bracelets. She felt you were taking Devon away from her.”

I felt sick. I thought everything was okay, and all this time there was stuff going on behind my back.

“India and Devon have been getting on each other's nerves,” she said. “But they've been close for a long time, and I think India got jealous when you came along.”

“Is India mad at me?” I asked.

“No, it sorta worked itself out,” she said.

I had noticed India had been quieter around me lately, but I didn't have as much in common with her. I felt weird knowing she had been resenting me all this time.

“I'm glad you told me. I don't want you guys to think I'm going to run from one group to another when things get bad,” I said.

“I know. I mean, you stayed with us when Ericka kept trying to get you to move over to her table,” she said. “Anyway, I think Devon's jealous of Tori since you guys were best friends for so long. Don't tell Devon I told you though. I gotta go. We'll chat later, okay?”

Whenever Tori, Ericka, and I got into a fight it was always me calling them back over and over again until we worked things out. This last fight had been different, but now I guess I was back to doing the same old thing, but with a different person. I was going to call Devon, but the phone rang before I could even dial her number.

“Sorry,” Devon said. “My mom was on forever. Listen, I'm sorry I got mad at you for talking to them, but it makes me so mad they treated you bad,” she said. “And then you didn't wear the bracelet, and I got tons of crap from India about it.”

“I meant to put it on. Tori wasn't thrilled about it either. Maybe we shouldn't wear them to school. I don't want India to be mad—”

“What?” she shrieked into the phone. “Are you kidding? Because you better be kidding.”

“Okay, I'll wear it every single day. I'll even get a tattoo,” I said.

“Well, I'd get one, but between the ‘Blake Forever' on my arm and the ‘I Love Doug' on my butt, there's no room,” she said. “Sorry I acted like a jerk today.”

I told her I was sorry, too, and asked her what was going on with India since Peyton wasn't supposed to tell me about it. This was the first time anyone had called me during a fight and the first time anyone had apologized to me. I guess this was what normal friends did.

Devon grabbed my arm as soon as I got to the bus stop. She pushed my coat sleeve up to make sure I was wearing the bracelet. Ashanti had gotten a ride to school, and she was waiting for me when I got off the bus. She handed me a copy of
Soap Opera Hotties
.

“Page twenty-four,” Ashanti said. I went to the page, and there was an interview of Colin.

“You can tear it out if you want,” she said. “I was bored last week so I made a collage of Brad on the back of my door. You've got to see it. Can you come over after school?”

I nodded as Ericka ran over to us. Ericka stayed glued to my side until I went to class, and Thalia made a comment about me being “Miss Popular” all of a sudden.

At lunch, Devon and I split up to go to our lockers. Ericka linked arms with me and started to lead me to the cafeteria, but I said I had to wait for Devon. Devon looked surprised to see her hanging on me, and Ericka said she'd save me a seat.

“Are you sitting with them today?” Devon asked.

“Do you want to sit with them?” I asked, hoping she'd agree so I wouldn't have to deal with it.

Devon made a face. After we went through the lunch line, Devon started to head to our usual table when Ashanti called me over.

“Um, would you mind sitting with Ashanti?” I asked.

“I guess not. I can't stand Halle, but if it's just for one day…”

I realized I had to say something to Ericka or else she'd get mad again. Ericka started to move her coat off the chair, but I told her I forgot I had promised to sit with Ashanti.

“My stuff's already there,” I said. Before I had to beg someone to let me sit at their table, and now I was trying to keep people from getting mad at me for not sitting with them.

Ericka and Tori came over to our table and started talking about what we should do for Tori's birthday. Devon kept poking me, but what could I do? Say, “Oh excuse me, we're going to go sit over there now” and walk away? Devon said she was going to play basketball with Hana in the courtyard. I started to follow her, but Ericka grabbed my arm.

I waited in the hall before class so Ericka couldn't ask me to sit with her and Tori. Jay asked me why I was waiting in the hall, and I said I had to ask Mrs. Hearst something. Unfortunately, Mrs. Hearst was right behind me and she asked me what I needed.

“I was wondering…” I saw the TV in the classroom, so I asked what we were watching.

“
Gandhi
. Have you seen it?” she asked. I shook my head and followed her into the room. I sat with India and Peyton, but Tori pulled out a chair for me when Mrs. Hearst started the movie. Peyton moved her chair to Tori and Ericka's table so India and I followed.

Kyle leaned over. “Am I crazy, or am I seeing Anne Frank's dad?” he asked.

“What? It
is
Mr. Frank. How many movies is he in?” I asked.

Tori tore off a piece of notebook paper and wrote, “Do you still like him?”

“That actor?” I whispered.

She rolled her eyes and pointed to Kyle. I shrugged and she passed me her pen. I wrote he was cute, but he was going out with Arianna. She wrote back Arianna liked Stuart. Arianna had called Kyle a “loser” in math so maybe she did like Stuart now. I made a mental note to do my hair tomorrow. Kyle moved my chair back when the movie was over. He didn't have to move it too far, but it was still nice.

“My chair's heavy, and I have to move it all the way over there,” India said, pretending to be annoyed. I picked up her chair and dragged it back for her.

“Thank you, dah-ling,” she said.

In French class, I wondered if Devon would get weird on me when she found out I was going over to Ashanti's house. I was going to tell Ashanti I had to stop home first and then I'd walk over to her house. However, Ashanti came over to my locker when I was talking to Devon to say her dad would pick us up. Devon raised her eyebrows. I told Ashanti I'd meet her outside.

“Are you going to Ashanti's for math tutoring?”

“Where's my notebook?” I said pretending not to hear.

“You already put it in your backpack,” Devon said. “So why are—”

“Devon, hurry up,” India said as she walked by. “We're gonna miss the bus.”

“Call me tonight,” Devon said as she followed India to the bus line.

Ashanti couldn't wait for me to see her room. “I saved a bunch of Colin pictures so we can do your door if you want,” she said.

Devon called me the second I came home from Ashanti's. It was like she had seen me walk in the front door or something. She wanted me to come over tomorrow after school, but I had already invited Ashanti to come over. I said she could come over, too, and hoped it would be okay with my mom.

****

The next day, we decided to order a pizza after school. Ashanti wanted sausage, which Devon didn't eat, so we ended up with a plain cheese pizza. We watched
As the Days Roll On
while we ate, but Devon talked through it. She was only quiet during the commercials. Ashanti and I went to work putting up the Colin pictures on my door after we ate, but Devon flopped on my bed and asked if she could look at my books. It was obvious she was bored.

Devon started talking about Doug, and I told Ashanti about meeting the guys at the mall. Devon said Doug was super hot, which I didn't see, but I nodded anyway. Ashanti asked me about Cristian after Devon left. I said he was cute, but he'd never be interested in me.

“Sure he would,” she said. “So who do you think is cute in our class?”

I had to say Jay because they were going together, but she freaked out when I said Kyle.

“You like Kyle?”

“No, I just think he's funny,” I said. “Besides, he likes Arianna.”

“Arianna likes Stuart now,” she said. “I know for sure because Halle liked Stuart and he stopped e-mailing her because of Arianna.”

Even if Arianna broke up with Kyle, he'd never consider me. We didn't have the same friends, and it would be uncomfortable even if he did ask me to eat lunch with him. I would never fit in with his friends, so why couldn't I stop thinking about him?

****

Delilah called me about doing a photo shoot on Saturday morning. She wanted me to work with a new photographer named Eddee Lane. I wouldn't make any money or anything, but I'd get free photos for my portfolio. It wasn't like getting to do a photo shoot for
Teen Vogue
.
I was starting to realize all models start out at the bottom. Talisa and the girls who made it to the
Ingénue
finals were just rare exceptions.

“Eddee needs pictures for his portfolio, too, so you'll be helping each other out,” she said. She gave me directions to his studio and told me to have my mom call her if there was a problem. Mom was okay with it, so I started organizing my outfits for the shoot. I was almost finished when Devon called and asked me to go with her to meet Cristian and Doug at the mall on Saturday.

“I have to work on Saturday,” I said.

“Please? Cris was asking about you,” she said.

“Cristian asked about me? I'd love to go, but I'm working with this new photographer and—”

Devon interrupted to ask if I could meet them after work. I had no idea how long the shoot would run, so I had to tell her I couldn't go. I knew India was staying with her grandparents over the weekend, and I felt a little better knowing she wouldn't be able to go either. Devon said she'd ask Peyton or Hana since I couldn't go. There were so many weekends when Tori and Ericka were mad at me and I had nothing to do. I would sit home all weekend before and finally I had a life, and now I had to work. Part of me wanted to be a big star, but part of me just wanted to have a best friend. Oh well. It would all be worth it when I got my big break.