True Intentions (24 page)

Cereal sounds good
, I tell myself when I notice a box of
Mini Wheats
on the counter.

I open the small cabinet we use as a pantry, and the knob wobbles like it will come off. Our kitchen needs a remodel. Mom wasn't joking. The older, wooden cabinets are painted a shade of white that has faded into a dirty cream color. The countertops resemble butcher blocks, but in cheap laminate instead of real wood. The baby blue walls have also faded from years of wear. Obviously, the knobs aren't in great shape either.

Several pieces of mail from Friday are on the counter. Mostly bills and catalogs addressed to my mom. I immediately recognize Mallory's handwriting on a medium-sized, manila envelope with Ava O'Brian listed as the addressee. I haven't had much contact with Mallory since returning home a few weeks ago. We've emailed and texted here and there, but I haven't been completely honest. I haven't grown the balls to confess my relationship with Sam
.

I rip open the envelope. A letter and another, smaller, sealed envelope are enclosed in the padded packet.

I decide to read her letter first.

Ava,

Hey girl! Hope all is going well in California. I have missed you so much since your visit.

It was great to see you, but also reminded me how much I miss you now that I can't see you all
the time. My parents and Kara send their love.

I am not sure if Sam has spilled the beans, but we have been talking nonstop since your
visit. I am ashamed to admit, but I fell totally in love with him from the moment I saw him and
we ended up kissing when we were alone on Sunday. You were at the church at the time. It
fueled some chemistry between us, and we ended up being intimate one night after everyone
went to bed. It was so unbelievably awesome . . . . I can't believe I am no longer a virgin. I
wanted to tell you right away, but Sam begged me not to. He said you would get mad that he
hooked up with your friend. I didn't understand at the time, but now everything makes sense.

Sam recently confessed to me that he is your Mr. Mysterious and not your cousin. He said he
does care for you, but couldn't help falling in love with me. I hope he has been honest with you. I
enclosed a picture of us together with the other pictures I took during your stay. I am sorry that
we connected when you two were getting to know each other. I would have never let that happen
if I knew at the time.

Please forgive me!

Love you always and forever,

Mallory

Pain-filled tears fall from my eyes, splashing onto her letter and smearing the last few lines.

Is this real?

Am I that stupid?

The thought of her and Sam being together feels more sickening than my encounter with Walter. Sam lying to me and using my friend boils my blood hotter than I ever imagined. I stare down at my hands. I'm shaking. A bitter taste fills the back of my mouth as my stomach starts to roll over and over.

He couldn't do that.

Sam loves me.

Doesn't he?

I lean against the butcher block counter, too nauseated and dizzy to move. The more I think about the last few months, the more I question where the real truth lies. If Sam hooked up with Mallory, then nothing he has ever said can be trusted.

Not one single thing
!

I feel my face harden as I think about all the times he's told me he loved me.

I know I need to remain clearheaded to face him.

But, how can I?

I lift my trembling hands to my chest. My heart hurts like it has been ripped out.

I glance at the other sealed envelope.

These must be the pictures.

I inhale with a quiver going down my spine.

It's now or never,
I tell myself while I stare blankly at the envelope.

I need to see the proof. I flip the envelope over and tear it open, hearing the paper rip as it separates from the adhesive. I take a deep breath. I'm walking on an emotional high wire.

I'm unable to speak. Hell, I can't even think straight. This is incomprehensible.

I quickly flip through the pictures. The only ones I care to see are Sam and Mal—

together
. I find what I'm looking for about halfway through. It's an intimate moment with Mallory straddling Sam. It is pretty obvious their tongues were deep inside each other's mouth.

I stop and look away.

I've seen enough.

It doesn't take long for hatred to fill my veins.

It's obvious Mallory is telling the truth. I frown at my memory of the trip and remember how Sam suddenly became distant. He had been coming in my room each night to watch me sleep, but then he stopped. It's hard to watch me sleep from Mallory's bedroom!

Lies.

I have undeniable evidence in my hands.

How can I believe anything he said about loving me? How do you love someone and hook up with their best friend?!

All lies.

I want to confront him, to ask why, but it doesn't really matter. It's over. Nothing will ever be the same between us.

I throw the letter and pictures on the counter and head to the stairs. Hot, disabling tears blur my vision as I stomp upstairs to my room. I'm more livid now than I've ever been.

How one day can change everything . . . .

As soon as I enter my bedroom, I immediately close the window. The last thing I need is for Sam to stop by. I curl up in bed and cry
until I fall into a deep sleep
.

* * * * *

In my slumber, I dream of Aiden. We're at the beach on a hot, summer day burying each other in the sand.

Aiden covers me up to my neck.

I smile until the sand starts to feel heavy against my chest like I am being crushed. I can't catch my breath. I call out for help. I feel claustrophobic. I beg Aiden to assist me. The weight of the sand against my ribs is crushing my lungs, making it almost impossible to breathe.

Aiden cocks his head to one side and watches me struggle.

I see two small horns growing out the top of his head, resembling antlers. I suddenly forget I'm suffocating in sand. Aiden has turned into the devil.

I scream in shock and jerk awake. Sam is next to me in bed.

"Are you okay? It's close to noon." he says, his voice too calm and collected for my liking. I hurdle off my bed in record speed.

"What are you doing here? How did you get in my house?"

I prefer to bait him into a lie, but I'm unable to maintain enough composure.

He must think I'm coming out of a nightmare. Rather, I'm waking up to face one.

"Ava, what's wrong? It's only a dream. It is not real," he reassures me, holding out his hand.

"Not Real!
Not real
!" Don't you tell me what's real, Samuel Perry." I have never addressed him by his full name before. I sound more like his mother than his girlfriend .

. . .
Ex
-girlfriend.

Sam's jaw flexes, but he doesn't respond to my comment.

I'm beyond disgruntled.

Sam moves quickly off the bed. I can now see what he meant by being able to win the Olympics. He clearly could outrun anything I would like to throw at him.

I stare at his anxious expression, rolling my eyes.

"Have you lost it? What is going on?"

He has no idea I'm on to him.

"That's a great question," I say, my voice cold. I throw open my bedroom door and stomp downstairs fueled by my anger. I reach the kitchen as fast as my mortal legs will carry me and grab Mallory's letter from the countertop. I throw it in his direction.

Sam has followed me all the way to the kitchen and easily catches the envelope in midair.

I say nothing. I wait while he reads, biting my lip. I taste blood from clenching my teeth against my lip so hard. I don't care.

He crushes the letter into a small ball. He stands absolutely still, gazing directly at the picture.

I hear the sharp gasp as he exhales.

He shakes his head, placing the pictures down on the counter. "It's not what you think. You don't understand." He mashes his lips together, defensively.

He's about to continue his explanation, but I hastily interrupt him—adding my two cents.

"There is nothing you can possibly say that will justify in my mind why you kissed my best friend. Nothing . . . ."

His voice chills me all the way to my beating heart.

"Fine!" His tone is inhumanly cold, without an ounce of empathy. And then he turns around and faces the kitchen window. His eyes are the same black I saw the day when he was smashing in Walter's skull.

I wonder if Mallory is now in danger.

I fight back the tears. My pulse is the only sound I hear. So strong and fast, it drowns out every other noise in the house. I look down, afraid to look into his eyes.

I had been fascinated by his mysterious charm since the moment I met him.

Now, I feel foolish for ever allowing myself to fall so hard.

"I will let thou be," he promises.

I've never heard him speak that way.

In my mind, he still looks like an angel—so beautiful, enchanting, and elegant.

But I know for certain now, he's poisonous. I was right when I made that Venus flytrap comment in Chicago.

Silence lingers.

Sam doesn't turn around nor does he speak as he heads toward the door. He walks out of my kitchen and my life without another word.

Chapter Thirty - Pain

Sam sits in his Audi, the leather cool against his burning skin. He is distraught after his interaction with Ava. What can he say?

"Fine" had been his genius response. He looks at his own eyes in the rearview mirror in disbelief.

Could this really be happening?

She said there was nothing that would justify him kissing her best friend. She was right . . . .

It hadn't made any sense to him at the time—why Mallory would ask for a kiss as blackmail. But he fell for it, never questioning her intentions. How could he have been so naïve? The hatred he feels toward Mallory now is so intense; it's beyond any human emotion he has confronted in over two hundred years.

Such intensity . . . .

Why hadn't he seen it before?

It finally makes sense. Lucifer got to Mallory. She was just another pawn in Lucifer's game of chess—perfect for pulling Ava and him apart. Lucifer did it with ease, never lifting a finger.

Now Lucifer has everything he wants. He has Ava unprotected, vulnerable, and suffering. He may not have captured Sam, but the pain Lucifer has inflicted as punishment for Sam's betrayal is bad enough. Right now, Sam
wants
to be destroyed.

Lucifer must have planned this as soon as he realized Ava would be in Chicago. No wonder he hadn't made another attempt to destroy Ava since her encounter with Walter.

There is no reasoning with Ava at this point. She believes Sam betrayed her. She wouldn't understand her best friend Mallory threw her under the bus and set him up.

If only . . . .

If he had been truthful with Ava right away—while back in Chicago—maybe she would have understood. But he kept it from her, believing he was protecting her from that vindictive, excuse-for-a-friend, Mallory. His actions hadn't shielded Ava. He dug his own hole. His silence in Chicago
implies
guilt, and now everything in Mallory's letter seems true.

Sam throws his head back against the headrest. A little more force and he would have broken it off.

He pulls his Audi out of Ava's driveway, fighting the urge to turn around and go back and attempt an explanation. He knows better, but the agonizing look on her face when he left tears him up inside.

Yesterday, his instincts told him something was brewing. He wasn't able to put his finger on it at the time. But now . . . .

Where will he go from here?

Ava will still be in danger. Lucifer will be looking for a way in to get to her soul.

There is the chance she may be safe for a little while since Lucifer loves suffering. It's most likely the reason Lucifer wouldn't allow Mallory to release the pictures right away. He wanted to make sure Sam and Ave developed a bond. This ensures the most pain.

Sam drives to the end of the street, unsure of his next move. Mallory will be protected, so making her pay for her lies is out of the question. His home will be one of the first places Lucifer and the other dark angels will seek him out. He's on the run for now. If he's going to keep Ava protected, he'd better come up with a game plan . . .
soon.

Chapter Thirty-One - Missing

How long does the pain last after a breakup?

It's been two weeks since I broke up with Sam, and I thought the pain would have faded some by now.

I was wrong.

I hate Sam Perry. He's nothing more than an evil, malicious, heartless soldier of the devil here to damn us all.

I'd expected to see him at school, but I haven't seen him once in the last two weeks.

I'm relieved I don't have to look at him for five hours a week during English class or any other part of my day. I'm not sure if I could handle another altercation with Sam right now.

Without him, my life feels empty. Getting out of bed each morning is the hardest part of the day. I remind myself of my mother after the car accident.

Sara said I'm going through the stages of grief.

I'm not sure my world has ever felt this empty, even when Aiden and Dad died last October.

I'm not sure I'll ever be able to open myself up like that again. Love makes you vulnerable, and it led me to the person who broke my heart. Loss is too painful. Why would anyone want to take the risk?

For some weird reason, Mom has been mourning over Sam. I mean . . . she was used to him being around all the time, and I think he filled some strange, male void in her life. Maybe Sam made her feel safe.

I don't know.

She has asked questions. But I've intentionally kept her in the dark. I lied and told her
he
broke up with me because I know there will be fewer questions. She wouldn't understand why I would break up with a gorgeous and charming guy like Sam. It's not like I can tell her the truth. Imagine how that conversation would go . . . .