True Nature (33 page)

He had won.

So why wouldn’t Zoe look at him?

Slowly, he backed off from his kill. Weariness seeped around the edges of his excitement. The wounds on his flanks and the bruises on his ribs pulsed.

With a low growl, he rested on his haunches. The sound brought Zoe’s head up. Hunter smelled her hesitation, her fear. The emotion startled him. In all these years, he had never frightened Zoe.

He had to change now. He had never been so reluctant to become human again. But he had to become a man again—for Zoe.

Through a veil of pain, he focused his gaze on her. Finally, she looked him in the eye. And he crossed over. A roar tore from his throat as his limbs melded into his first nature. He slumped to the floor, and the blood in his mouth turned bitter. His voice weakened to a moan. He could barely lift his head, but he forced himself to do so, to look once again at Zoe.

Biting back a cry, she pulled away from Evan and ran to Hunter’s side. She dropped to the dirty, bloody floor and cradled his head in her lap. He could still sense her wariness, but above all, he felt her familiar, loving touch on his torn and throbbing flesh.

“Oh, my God, Hunter. Oh my God,” she murmured.

An odd sense of disappointment swept over him. Didn’t she realize he had won?

After that, the pain almost knocked him out. Aside from his wounds, he was hungry. Starving. Vaguely, he heard Evan snapping orders. There were shouts and a sense of movement. The world turned black, and then became a swirling vision of white as he was carried into the night. Hunter was mostly aware of Zoe’s soothing voice and the empty, aching void in his gut.

Maybe he passed out. He didn’t know where he was when hands pushed meat at him. He ate like a man who had never seen food before. He gulped water. Then he ate again.

Gradually, the agony melted away. The gashes on his flanks stung as they began to tighten and heal. The pain that had knifed through his midsection ebbed.

Wrapped in a blanket, he was able to able to hold himself upright as Evan and another man hustled him unnoticed from a car to the freight elevator in the parking garage of his apartment.

Zoe was beside him as he was lowered to a bed. His bed. She brought warm, damp cloths to wash the worst of the blood and gore away. He slept.

But in the deepest part of the night, Hunter awakened and knew Zoe wasn’t there. She had left his side. Most importantly, she was absent from his mind in a way that he could never remember before. She had not been so far from him since before that day back in middle school when they had outsmarted the bullies and had become partners. Even when he was taken away to the mountains to change for the first time, she had not felt so lost to him as she did now.

He winced, raising a hand to his throbbing forehead. “But I won,” he muttered.

A now familiar voice answered him. “You have to give her time.” Evan stepped up to his bedside and snapped on a lamp.

Hunter blinked in the sudden light. He didn’t bother to pretend that Evan hadn’t read his mind.

“Time for what?”

“You killed a man in front of her,” Evan said.

The truth of the matter rushed in. The memories were fresh. Hunter could feel how his teeth had cut through flesh. He smelled the stink of the chimera’s blood on his body. He sat up, and the room spun for a moment. But he couldn’t stop the surge of satisfaction that pushed aside his momentary horror at what he had done just hours ago.

He looked at Evan. “I killed a monster.”

“But some will say you are the same,” Evan replied. “What is your path? That’s the question your kind has always had to answer, each in his own time.”

“My grandfather was not a monster.”

“Aye.” Evan nodded. “But what will you be, Hunter MacRae? Especially if you have to do it without her?”

Do without Zoe? The question shocked Hunter into silence.

Chapter 28

I rolled over again and flipped my pillow to the cool side for probably the fiftieth time. I couldn’t sleep because every time I closed my eyes the scene of Hunter laying the bloody body in front of me came to mind. That was followed closely by the thought of Mandy’s gaping throat as she fell over like a rag doll in a careless heap. Blood, every time I closed my eyes all I saw was blood. I was afraid I might never sleep again.

The clock said it was three in the morning, five minutes later than the last time I’d looked at it. I got out of bed and padded through the silent apartment to the living room. I wore one of Hunter’s T-shirts and a pair of huge sweat pants tied at the waist. I still felt chilled and grabbed a throw off the couch to wrap around my shoulders.

The blinds had been left open. The magnificent lights of the Manhattan skyline lit the room. Another time I might have enjoyed it. Tonight it did nothing to ease my misery. There were no “normal” days anymore. I had been constantly tense and afraid ever since the night we had found the body behind the office.

Rubbing my face, I heaved a great sigh. I looked at the familiar surroundings and wondered how everything could be the same and still be different. I went to the kitchen and gazed in the refrigerator for a few seconds but found nothing to rouse my interest. In the cabinet, I discovered Hunter’s stash of Nutter Butter cookies, a weakness we both shared. Pouring myself a glass of milk, I took the cookies to the living room and sat in Hunter’s chair, staring out at the night.

But my misery wasn’t going anywhere. I was at a crossroads. I needed to decide which way to go but I’d left my directions at home. Depression settled back on my shoulders and the cookie lost its flavor.

I slipped to floor and took the lotus position in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows. The rug was soft against my feet. Probably worth as much as my house, I thought as I worked my muscles to hold my pose. I had never really been very good at yoga. So I relaxed and sat, Indian style, thinking.

Hunter was an animal, capable of horrific acts I couldn’t fathom. I had always known that. But from now on, violence could be a part of his life at any time. Killing his enemy was his ultimate goal. Could I share that?

As hard as I tried, however, I couldn’t picture the rest of my life without Hunter.

“Something wrong, Zoe?”

Evan didn’t startle me. I realized I’d been waiting for him. He stretched, his back popping loudly, and then joined me on the floor, one knee bumping against mine. For a second I considered just leaning over to lay my head on his shoulder.

“Trouble sleeping?”

“Every time I close my eyes I see Hunter placing his prize in front of me.”

Evan looked at me with searching eyes. “You’ve known what he is for many years.”

As usual, I bristled at his echo of my own thoughts. “I’ve never had a corpse given to me before. Pardon me if I’m not following the proper shifter etiquette for a death fight,” I said angrily. “What should I have done? An end-zone victory dance? He killed a man, for God’s sake.”

Evan’s tone was irritatingly reasonable. “That beast that would have killed him without hesitation, and then started in on you. Hunter fought to save his life, as well as yours.”

“I know that.” I stood and stomped to the sofa, where I sat. “That doesn’t mean I have to like to it.”

“But you have to accept it.” He stayed where he was but turned to face me.

I gnawed on my bottom lip for a moment. “What if I can’t?”

“That’s something you’ll have to decide for yourself.” Evan got to his feet. “And the sooner the better. Change is the only sure thing in life, and you’re headed for some big changes. You’ll either accept that or choose to stay where you are—without Hunter.”

“Who are you to tell me how I need to live my life?” I barked. “Until a couple of weeks ago neither of us had ever heard of you. Now you’re running Hunter’s life and trying to run mine.”

“You asked me to help you with your gift. I’m trying to help you accept your fate.”

It irked me that he could goad me without even raising his voice. He got up, came over and held out a hand. “Come on, you’ll think more clearly if you get some rest.”

Well, isn’t he Mr. Wonderful?

“I can’t sleep,” I said with a childish whine I instantly regretted.

“I think you’ll do better now.” He took hold of my hands and pulled me to my feet. “You’re more tired than you realize.”

He touched my cheek and a wave of warmth moved through me. I didn’t protest as he led me back to the bed. I lay down and he pulled the covers up. He rested his hand on my head and I smiled as I closed my eyes.

When I opened them again the sun was bright outside and I could hear the murmur of voices in the other room. I stretched and realized I felt rested. Glancing at the clock I knew why. It was almost two o’clock.

I had to face Hunter. And the rest of our lives.

After washing my face and brushing my teeth, I walked into the living room to find him and Evan poring over something spread out on the coffee table. The TV was on, with News 12 New Jersey mumbling in the background.

I eyed Hunter warily. In a worn pair of sweats and an ancient T-shirt that stretched tight across his shoulders, he looked remarkably well. No visible sign of last night’s battle. Evan was in a crisply pressed shirt and jeans, also looking almost supernaturally well.

“Good afternoon,” I said. They nodded, openly cautious. Like I was the one who was dangerous.

I went looking for coffee. The inky liquid smelled like it had been there for a while, so I fixed a fresh pot. I poured a mug. I went back to the living room.

A news crawler moved across the bottom of the giant TV screen. It said Mandy Morris, wife of prominent New Jersey citizen Charlie Morris, had been murdered in what was being described as a home invasion.

I turned to Hunter, who said, “Evan’s men took care of making Mandy’s death seem random.”

“Random?” I repeated. “Are you okay with that?”

“What do you suggest we do? Tell them about Chymera? About me?”

“No, but…” I didn’t know what I wanted.

“We have to move on, Zoe,” Evan said.

Move on to what?

The moment became awkward. I didn’t know what to say. Evan was calm, and Hunter was acting as if the savage actions of yesterday were removed from today’s reality.

In an obvious attempt to change the subject, Hunter turned what appeared to be blueprints on the table to face me. “These are plans for the empty building in Riverdale that I showed you.”

I barely glanced at the drawings.

“What do you think?” he asked, his eyes glowing with excitement. They were so green they actually sparkled.

“I think you’ve decided what you want. What does it matter what I think?”

Both men looked at me with questions in their eyes but said nothing. They seemed wary, as if they didn’t know what I was going to do next.

Welcome to the club, I’m not sure myself.

“So all of this is decided and you’re ready to go?” I asked.

“These plans were delivered this morning. The building is already mine, so there’s no hold up there.”

I took a sip of coffee and burned the tip of my tongue, which didn’t help my temper. “I didn’t know you were this far along with this. It was just last week that you told me about the building.”

“I thought we could talk—”

“What we need to talk about is your old family feud. You grandfather, Shamus, the guard from North Carolina—they’re all dead because of this. Cyn’s out there somewhere running to keep these monsters from her son. And Mandy, who was completely innocent, had her throat brutally slit. They made her call you, Hunter. She got you over there, and they still killed her. All she was guilty of was jumping in the sack with you. Is she just collateral damage that you just move past?”

“That was cruel, Zoe,” Evan said. “You of all people know how upset Hunter was about Mandy’s death.”

“Yeah, but he seems to be doing fine today.”

“I never thought she was in danger,” Hunter protested. “These are ruthless animals that kill without thought.”

“From what I saw last night, so do you,” I blurted.

The light dimmed in Hunter’s eyes.

“That was low,” Evan said. “Think about what you’re saying, Zoe.”

“I thought about it all night. This isn’t my fight.” I looked back at Hunter, trying to make him understand. “I never thought I’d be involved in anything like this.”

“Then why do you carry a gun?” Evan asked calmly.

Surprise made me jerk my head around. I couldn’t think of a proper snarky remark. He was right, of course. You only carry a gun when you want to be prepared for unforeseen threats and danger. I leaned my head back and sighed. God, what am I doing?

Hunter rubbed his forehead as if he had a headache and then gestured toward the couch. “Sit down a minute and talk about this,” he said.

I looked at him, feeling helpless, something I hated. I covered my face with my hands. Releasing another big sigh, I looked directly at Hunter and decided honesty was the best response. “I don’t know if I can be part of this. What happened last night changed everything.”

Hunter’s eyes darkened with emotion as his gaze held mine. “I defeated my enemy.”

“Evan could have shot him. I could have shot him. You didn’t have to fight him like that—”

“So it was the fighting, rather than the killing that bothered you?” Hunter challenged. “You were much more cold-blooded when it was Lizzie holding a gun to her father’s head the other day.”

“It’s not the same—”

“Isn’t it?” Evan asked. “You allowed her to fight for the truth. Why shouldn’t Hunter be allowed the same?”

“But that wasn’t the truth. It was barbaric, it was—”

“Part of who I am,” Hunter replied. “I know last night was terrible for you, but from the very first time I showed you who I was, you accepted me. Why not this?”

“I don’t understand it. Explain to me what happened. Why did you have to fight him?”

“It was The MacRae against Chymera,” Evan replied. “That’s how it is.”

I groaned. “But why did Killin run away?”

“Because he was beaten. I won. A substitute stepped in and sacrificed himself so Killin can fight on. He isn’t ready to cede his legacy to a new generation.”