Trust: Betrayed (16 page)

Friday, January 30
^th
, 2009. 

6.03 p.m.

“Alistair, honey,” Heather’s sugar-coated voice made Alistair’s stomach heave. “All I ask is one more chance.” She approached his rigid back, oblivious of the danger she was in, and leaned on him, her arms encircling his waist. “You know we are good together.”

“Nae, Heather. You had all your chances. I can’t take it anymore. I warned you, but you paid no attention.” Alistair slashed his hand in the air violently and stepped out of her embrace. If he stood near his wife for one more second, he would beat her to a pulp. With his heart full of hatred, he spat, “I’ve filed for a divorce.”

He turned to look at her. Her face was chalk white. However, he didn’t feel an ounce of pity for that woman.

“Please, honey,” she pleaded and approached him with outstretched hands. “Don’t do this.”

His lips curled in distaste. He stepped back and fisted his hands. “I’m giving you the Porsche plus a million pounds. I’m sure you’ll be fine. And the apartment. It’s all yours, so you can continue with your drug-fueled orgies.”

“Honey, how can you say that? I love you,” she purred.

Alistair felt sick as he looked at the woman he had married. He couldn’t bear to stay one more minute in the same room as her. He looked at his watch. “Where is Nathalie? She should have arrived by now.”

“She asked me to sleep over at Alice’s, honey,” she lied, knowing full well that Nathalie’s nanny was already bringing their daughter home from her sister-in-law’s house. “Was I wrong to say yes?”

Alistair didn’t deign to answer. He turned and marched out of his home office.

Heather heard when the front door banged loudly.

“Oh, no, Alistair Connor. No.” She slowly sat down on a chair. Anger took hold of her as she picked up the phone and dialed her sister’s number.
Emma would know what to do.
“Emma, it’s me.”

“Daddy?” Nathalie’s blonde head appeared at the office door. “Where is Daddy?”

“Hold on, Emma.” Heather looked at her daughter with so much hatred in her blue eyes that the little girl was startled. “He’s gone, Nathalie. And it’s your fault. All your fault. Go to my room. Now!”

Tears filled the little girl’s eyes as she ran to her bedroom and flung herself on the little bed. She wouldn’t believe her mother’s words. She knew her father loved her. She grabbed her favorite doll and curled up in bed, waiting for her father to come back. She knew he would return to take her away with him.

Nathalie clutched the doll against her chest when her mother appeared in her room with a twisted, crazed look in her face. “I told you to wait for me in my room. We are going to Aunt Emma’s.”

“Mommy, I want to wait for Daddy.”

“I won’t say it again, brat. Move.”

“I don’t want to go to Aunt Emma’s. Daddy promised me he will put me to sleep.”

“Your father makes promises he can’t keep, Nathalie.” Heather’s laughter chilled Nathalie, but she was too afraid of her mother to disobey. “Besides, he has more important things to do than to think about you.”

The little girl’s eyes filled with tears as she followed her mother to her parents’ room and laid on the bed, smelling her father’s perfume on the pillow. The scent lulled her to sleep while Heather packed a suitcase with clothes for the two of them.

Ells Hall.

Friday, March 19
^th
, 2010.

11.36 p.m.

Heather! Oh, no! Heather’s ghost is about to enter the room.
Sophia sat up abruptly, moving away from his body, her eyes wide, her lips parted in surprise, nausea making her stomach roll.

Alistair scrutinized her face. “You don’t want to know?” His question was almost a statement such was the wariness he saw on her face.

Sophia bit her lower lip and twisted a lock of her long hair around her index finger, in doubt. “I’ll be right back.”

She jumped from the bed and picked up her long wrap, walking to the bathroom. She leaned her hands on the sink.
Do I want to know?
She blinked slowly. Deep inside she knew that all the dark shadows she had glimpsed on Alistair’s face were going to surface.
Nothing can be that bad.

When she returned to the bedroom moments later, her face was perfectly composed. She had erected up an emotional shield, but fear still lingered in the depths her eyes. She stopped at the end of the bed and hesitated. A sudden desire to flee from the room made her lightheaded. She gripped her cold hands to hide their trembling.

“Come here,” Alistair whispered the order, stretching his hand.

Sophia took his hand and sat on the edge of the bed, facing him, “Tell me your story.”

“As I was saying, I met Heather for the first time at the Christmas party. I was already a minor partner at the bank. I was twenty-five and she was twenty-nine. I was stupid and young and in awe of her. She was... more beautiful than Emma.”
If there is any beauty on them.

“We worked in different departments, so she eluded me for some time. I was a rising star at the bank, but still only a beginner. I worked hard, made a few brilliant deals and was very good at politics. In April 2001, I was promoted to financial director and moved to her department. I bought more shares of the bank that month.” He smiled bitterly. “My status then changed. I wasn’t a minor partner anymore. A week later, I found an envelope on my desk with my name on it. Inside it I found a photo of her with an explicit invitation, and address and a key. You know...”

Uh? What?
“No, I don’t.”

“She asked me to fuck her. In those terms.”

The air left Sophia’s lungs and she stammered, “Par-pardon?”

“She was never coy. She stated directly what she wanted. No-” He interrupted himself.

Slowdowns?
Sophia was mortified. “God. You must have found my request when we started going out ridiculous.”

“Would you believe me if I said it was refreshing? You are special,
mo chridhe
.” He hugged her and kissed her hair, lost in his bad memories.
If you’d asked me for another month, I would have waited.

“Then?” she coached, quietly.

“Her invitation went to my head, as you can imagine. Everyone at the bank wanted Heather. They pursued her incessantly and she
invited
me - me! - to her apartment. Well, to be brief-”

A morbid fascination possessed her. “Ah-ah! Now, I want details.” Sophia voice was deceptively soft, but she was restless. She had to understand the full story.

“Sophia, it was a kind of drug addiction. It’s not a pretty story.”
Careful, Alistair Connor. You’re going to scare her away.
“Are you sure?”

“Yes, introduce me to Mr. Hyde and his bed-partner. Let me be the judge.”

Counselor, your opinion about me is going to change if I tell you everything.
“Heather was... insatiable. She wore me out every night and every morning, and at the weekends, we spent the whole day fucking. I didn’t realize it at the time, but she was... sick. I didn’t even make the first move. I didn’t have to suggest things. Nothing was too much. Nothing was enough. It was a hell of a relationship. She aimed to please and to be pleased. She moved in with me at the end of the third month. I lived in a permanent state of arousal. I didn’t know if she would corner me in my office or in the men’s toilet for a quickie or what was going to happen at night. She usually went home earlier than me and prepared... You know.”

“Well, I don’t. Maybe she cooked dinner for you,” she mocked but immediately regretted it.
This is serious, Sophia.

He sighed. “She never cooked for me, Sophia. She ordered takeaway or microwaved whatever
I
grabbed at the supermarket.”

“Alistair. It seems my... sexual education - or my imagination - is lacking.” Sophia’s strained her voice to mask her curiosity. “Please, explain.”

Don’t push, Sophia. You’re not going to like it.
“I fucked her in every position and any time or place. In the car; during a bank formal dinner in the men’s toilet. Even in public, in the sea.”
In a threesome; with her sister; with her friends...

What? Is it wrong to do it in the car?
“How?” Her voice was shocked. “You are not a quiet lover.”
Do you think it’s wrong to do it in different positions?

“You may recall, I can control myself if needed,” he said, watching her face closely as a strange look appeared in her widened eyes.

“I am not comparing, Sophia. Never.” He sighed.
Stupid move, Alistair Connor.
“I thought she was hot, Sophia. I couldn’t have been more mistaken. You, with your innocence, are so much more.”

“But what was so wrong?”

“Everything you can imagine.”
And things I’ll never tell you.
Ashamed, he looked at yellow-orange flames in the hearth. “You don’t want to know.”
Threesomes, toys, S&M, bondage and some other things.
“Suffice it to say that she liked things rough.”

What? I do too.
“But... I...”

He shook his head interrupting her thoughts. “Not the kind that you like. Violent, degrading things.” He noticed Sophia’s eyes growing gradually huge.

“And you?” she whispered.

“Me?”

“Yes, you. Did you like those things?”

Alistair gazed at Sophia for a moment. “Some of these things I had already tried and liked.”
S&M was a bit harsh but I grew used to it.
“I like a bit of violence,” he shrugged, “I’ve told you before.”

You’ll have to explain this better later, Alistair Connor.
She lifted her head to get a better look at his eyes. “I don’t understand... You like those strange things and still you list a quickie in the car with... things that are wrong?”

“Nae, Sophia. I don’t think a quickie in the car is wrong, no.” He shook his head again and cleared his throat. “What was wrong was the exhibitionist and detached character of the situation she put us through.”

She was stunned. “Do you miss the things you did with her?”

“Nae, listen to me, I’m quite satisfied with my sexual life with you.” This time, white teeth flashed in a crooked smile. “I won’t lie and say that I don’t have a few fantasies that I want to try with you.”

Are you sure? I’m not anymore.
“Alistair Connor. I never did anything... violent. I don’t like pain.” She twisted her hair around her fingers. “I have never been to a sex shop. I don’t even have the creativity to imagine the pleasure a person gets from that kind of violence.” She was disturbed. “My sexual life is... too normal, too bland? Am I missing something here?”

“No, Beauty.” He studied her face. “Would you like to try something... different?”

Sophia froze and looked away.

Alistair could touch the sudden tension in the room, but waited quietly for her answer.

“I- Alistair, I’ve- Today, for example, the French maid costume... it was a different things. Yeah, I could try a few different things, however... I-” She frowned.
We were talking about you and Heather, not about me and you.
“What happened then?”

Sophia’s question wasn’t prompted by curiosity. It was a need to shed some light on the painful shadows she glimpsed in his eyes. She wanted to first hear his version of the facts. Perhaps, then, she could let Alice or Tavish Uilleam talk. Not before.

“In hindsight, what I had with Heather was all just one big bad experience. There were so many wrong aspects in our relationship that I’m still astounded - disgusted, even - by my own behavior.”

Alistair looked into her eyes. His face was grave and the pain in his eyes so fierce that it scared her. “I was her sex toy - or she was my sex slave - I don’t really know. And don’t ask me why, but I liked it. I didn’t see what was coming until it was too late.” He looked at his hands and whispered, “And then she got pregnant. I was careless... And after a few broken condoms, I decided to go on without them. She had told me she was clean and on birth control.”

How dare you, Alistair Connor.
But even though rage coursed in Sophia’s veins, she knew it was not time to talk about the comparison and his mistrust.

“When she told me, I was ecstatic. I’d always loved children. It was to be my first child,” he muttered.

Oh, God.
“Nathalie?”

He looked up at Sophia and gave her a sad smile. “Nae. I went to Craigdale with her and told my parents that I was in love and was going to marry her.”

“Were you?” she asked in a whisper.

He raised his ink-black brows, questioning.

“In love? Were you in love with her?”

“I thought I was.” He crossed his arms over his chest, in a defensive position. “My parents saw what I couldn’t. Heather was a greedy whore, without morals or feelings for me. She didn’t love me.” He looked down and his arms opened, his hands falling heavily on his thighs. “But then, how could she?”

How could she?!
“How could she not?” Sophia edged closer, grabbed his hand, and putting it against her cheek, she murmured, “You are so easy to love.”

“Am I?” His lids lifted, there was no light in his green eyes.

“Yes. So lovable,” she reaffirmed, soothing, and pulled his hand on her lap, between hers, caressing his knuckles. “What did your parents do when you told them you wanted to marry her?”

“Well, my parents refused to acknowledge her as my fiancée and we got married at a Registry Office. Just the two of us. Not even Alice or Tavish Uilleam went. They disapproved of her, by the way,” he huffed. “I had no more friends. I spent my days working and my nights and weekends having wild, depraved sex.” He laughed, disgusted. “Heather wanted money, status, a handsome face and an insane, dark lover with stamina to handle her. I wonder...” A lock of his raven hair fell over his eyes and he let it remain there. “If she ever loved anyone. She had never wanted me, Alistair Connor. I was just another step she used to get her way. But then, what did I really have to offer her?”