Trust in Me (49 page)

The curse was worse this time. Apologizing to God for his language, he pressed redial again. “You’re not getting rid of me, Margo. I was saying we need to commit to each other. We were meant to be together.” He swallowed hard. “I think we should make love again. We both know why we’ve been holding off, and it’s stupid. You can’t take me away from God. And I can’t browbeat you into accepting Him. We’re old enough to make good decisions and...”
B-e-e-e-p.

Linc pounded the phone on his desk before he called back. “This is the last time! Look, we can have a long-distance relationship. You don’t have to live here. Stay in the city. Keep your job and your fancy apartment. We’ll just be together when we can.” He knew time was running out. He gave a quick prayer to God and ended with, “Marry me, Margo. I know we can make this work.”

Linc stared at the phone as it gave another
B-e-e-e-p
. He replaced the receiver with a soft, “Please.”

o0o

WITH a why-not-stay-and-take-them-for-what-they’re-worth attitude, Margo accepted the vice presidency of engineering at CompuQuest. Dressed in an off-white pantsuit with a black silk shell underneath and high black sandals, she drew in a deep breath before she entered Philip’s office. This was her first official top-level executive meeting since she’d taken the job.

And she felt good, really good, about that and a lot of things. It seemed like some burden, or some long fight to keep something at bay, was finally gone. The thing with Philip? Maybe. But she sensed it was more.

“Good morning,” she said as she stepped in and found the men assembled around the huge oak table, much as she had that day she’d been here after their Deliverance weekend.

“Morning, Margo.” Philip didn’t look up from the file he was reading. He’d been treating her like The Invisible Man for the past three weeks, which was just fine with her. Then he scanned the six men at the table. “We’re just waiting on Riley, right?”

The others nodded, welcomed Margo and chatted among themselves as they waited for the meeting to begin. Perfunctory remarks were addressed to her, but it was obvious she wasn’t one of the boys.

You’ll never be one of the boys,
Linc would say with a cocky perusal of her body. Just the thought of his sexy looks made her flush.

I think we should make love again.

Marry me!

Margo hadn’t seen or talked to him in almost a month. He called religiously, left her messages that were either devastatingly tender or so hot they made her ache.

Dumb, really dumb, she thought as the meeting began and she listened to the men discuss the latest products. Sure, she’d made some progress; she’d been thinking long and hard about her hangups with religion, as Linc had asked her to do, and she’d been doing a lot of reading. But she was still a far cry from believing she could ever be a minister’s wife. However, when the distribution manager went into his usual harangue about impossible deadlines, she couldn’t get her mind off Linc’s latest call.

Why won’t you talk to me? I think you need me.... I just have a feeling a lot’s going on with you....

Finally the meeting ended, and when she was gathering her things, Philip looked down the table. “Margo, could you stay a second?”

“All right.” She glanced around, thinking she should ask someone else to stay, remembering her conversation with her own lawyer...

He was wrong in what he did. You can see that, can’t you?
Margo had been adamant.

So had her lawyer.
Of course he was wrong. And believe it or not, most cases that come to me are hidden harassment like this; they’re almost impossible to prove. My advice is to take the vice presidency and wring out of them what you can, then move on.
The woman had laughed.
And make sure you get a sizable raise. Money is great comfort.

“Margo?”

She smiled perfunctorily. When she took the job, she knew working with Philip was one of the cons on her list. She thought of the thirty-thousand-dollar raise, compensation package and stock options she’d demanded and gotten. “Yes?”

He walked over and closed the door.

Not a good sign. But she’d be damned if she’d jump like a skittish colt around him. When she was fifteen, Ma Barker was eating guys like him for breakfast.

“I thought we should have a talk.”

“I’m not so sure that’s a good idea.”

“Of course it is. Since you decided to stay.”

“All right.”

Giving her his most boyish grin, raking his hand through his perfectly cut hair without messing it, he said, “I’d like to put the past behind us. Start over.”

“Why?” She folded her arms over her chest and watched him.

“Because we have to work together. Because we both made mistakes.”

Say you’ve made a mistake,
her practical side warned.
Even if you don’t mean it. It’ll go a long way in soothing things over.

“The only mistake
I
made, Philip, was not reporting my suspicions sooner. Not getting some kind of proof.”

“Jesus Christ, Margo, it’s not like this was some kind of plot. I like you. I wanted more. I took a gamble and it didn’t pay off.”

“You just don’t get it, do you?”

“I get that I might have been too up-front in my feelings for you. My marriage was in trouble, I was lonely....”

She laughed at that. According to office gossip, he and Sally were having a second honeymoon. She came to town a few times a week for lunch or dinner, he took her on business trips, and the guys teased him constantly about his new wedded bliss.

And her treatment of Margo—sweet and innocent as before—revealed that Mrs. Philip Hathaway didn’t have a clue to what had gone on. If Margo didn’t know better, she’d think she’d dreamed the last five months of harassment.

“So, think we can be friends?”

She stared at Philip.

Play the game. Soothe feathers. What do you have to lose?

Your integrity
, Linc would say.

“No, Philip, we can’t be friends. We can be colleagues and work together, but I’ve got real friends, and you don’t have a clue what that means.”

Male pique suffused his classic features. “The minister, right?”

“And others, yes.”

“You know, you’re a coward.”

“What?”

“You’re a coward. You venture out into the real world, but you keep Grayson and those other buddies of yours as a safety net. As soon as you get scared or unhappy or lonely, you go running to them.” He picked up a file. “Why don’t you just move to Glen Oaks for good and forget the life you have in New York? You’re not happy with it anyway. Not really.” He opened the file. “I’ve got work to do.”

She didn’t respond. She just stared at him, then turned and strode out of his office. Ignoring Geraldine, who treated her with barely concealed disdain these days, she sought solace in the elevator.

Once alone, she was suddenly faced with the truth.

In so many ways, Philip was right. She wasn’t happy with her life. Since Linc had gotten hurt, she’d been thinking about priorities and what was most important to her. And she’d admitted that the people she was closest to, the people she wanted to spend her time with, were those she saw the least.

I wish you’d come back here to live.... God’s not so bad.

Ronny’s plea echoed in her mind all the way to her office. She loved him, she loved them all. But go back to Glen Oaks? Make a life there? With Linc? With God as a part of it?

Could Ma Barker really do that?

o0o

SHE’S not coming back, is she?

No answer.

Linc sat alone in a pew and stared at the cross behind the altar. The unique church scent of wood and incense surrounded him.
It’s time to give up, isn’t it?

Silence.

Damn it, God, answer me.

Prolonged silence. Well this was just great. Even God deserted him.

Oh, ye of little faith.

Linc breathed a sigh of relief.

I’d never desert you, Linc.

Like she has.

You’re not going to get that out of me today.

Why?

I work in—

—
mysterious ways. I know.

I will say you did the right thing with Jane.

I hated to hurt her

Jane will be fine. I got my eye on this nice manager at the electronics plant for her. She wasn’t for you, buddy.

Is anybody?

No trick questions.

He held up his un-casted arm.
My arm’s better.
That
was a dirty trick, you know.

You needed to slow down.

You’re right. I did.

God took a moment of contented silence.

And thanks for what you’ve done for Rosa. And Annie.

You’re welcome.

Is Bethy gonna be okay?

Bethy’s gonna be just fine.

Linc stood.
Well, thanks. I’ll talk to you later.

He got to the sanctuary door when he heard,
Linc?

Huh?

You’ll be just fine, too. Trust me.

He smiled back over his shoulder at the cross.
That’s good enough for me.

o0o

ONE of the things Linc liked best about sitting on the altar before services was that he got an eagle-eye view of the entire congregation. As the organist played the introductory hymn, he scanned his people. God had a full house today. Every pew of the small sanctuary was occupied, which was good, because nearly everybody in Glen Oaks needed to hear the sermon today.

His sister sat in her usual seat about ten rows back to the left, next to Ron, who was flanked by Lily Hanson. Both Beth and her son looked happier than he’d seen them in a long time, and Linc knew that the past six months had brought them even closer than before. Ronny’s eyes kept darting over to the left side of the church where Tucker sat with Doc and Gerty. Ron and Tucker had gotten tight since the incident with Maze.

Both Loose and Maze were being prosecuted for kidnapping and assault, and Linc had asked God this morning to help him find a way to break through to the boys. He’d never forget what it was like to be a teenager alone in this town and in trouble. He and Joe were getting together tomorrow to talk about what they might be able to do.

Behind Beth, Annie sat with Faith and Matt. Little Belle Star looked happy today, too. Linc felt a pang for Joe, though, who’d chosen a pew in the back of the church, alone. He’d come in after Annie but hadn’t joined her and the kids, or even his mother and Suzie.

Linc smiled and nodded when he caught Rosa DeMartino’s eye. Sitting with her two children, and Anita Camp, Rosa smiled back. Linc hoped he’d made the right decision about not prosecuting Sam, at Rosa’s request. She’d asked him to hold off after Sam had called and said he was residing in upstate New York and begged her and the kids to come to Watkins Glen to live. It was obvious he wanted her away from her support system. Rosa had refused, telling him she was staying in Glen Oaks and had a restraining order against him. She’d informed him that Linc would institute prosecution if he came back and threatened her. She’d also told him he could only see her or the kids if he got help first.

Sam had refused. Like most abusive men, Sam would not go for help. Nor would he recover. Joe Murphy was an exception.

Joe had flown up to see the man, but Joe didn’t think their talk had done any good. Rosa seemed sad sometimes, but healthier and certainly more content. She was practically running Annie’s summer dance program, which gave her much-needed self-confidence. And, of course, all the other women in the self-esteem group were supportive.

The hymn ended, and Linc stood to give the invocation, followed by the doxology, the children’s sermon, and the prayer of joys and concerns. Then he began the sermon. “The title of today’s talk is
Forgive Me Not
.” He smiled at the sea of attentive faces before him. “Would you all turn to page forty-five in your pew Bibles while I read God’s words on this subject? It’s a familiar story, about the townspeople throwing stones at the adulterous woman.”

Linc read the scripture and then turned calm eyes on the congregation. “What do we have to learn from this lesson on forgiveness? I’d like you all to call to mind two things: someone who has harmed you and someone you’ve harmed. It can be through direct actions that you’ve hurt someone, through negligence, through old grudges, through the inability to accept that someone has changed, or through fear. Now think about the stones you cast against this person: unkind words or even looks, inner resentment that can be felt every time you’re around him or her, of your cold unwillingness to forgive. Those stones hurt more than real ones. Those stones leave more scars.”

Then Linc went on to discuss the opposite, about needing others to forgive you. Finally he came to the last point. “Equally important is the need to forgive yourself for what you’ve done. Just as God asks the townspeople how they expect Him to forgive them if they don’t forgive others, I ask you how you can forgive others if you don’t forgive yourself.” Linc gave them his best stern-minister look.

“Can we change this pattern? Of course. Forgiveness can go a long way in doing that. Forgive me and your friend or mother or sister for what they’ve done, now, today; forgive little and big slights and, forgive yourself for having done these things to others. It’s time to throw away all the stones. God wants you to do this.” He grinned at the congregation. “I know. He told me.”

Linc sat down for the choir’s hymn. Just before they began to sing, he heard God’s voice. It was loud and clear.
Remember your own words, Linc. Forgive yourself.

Chapter 30

ON Sunday, at noon, Tucker popped the hood of his Jag and stuck his head under it to investigate the rattle he’d heard coming home from church. He smiled, thinking about the Jag. Five months before, this car had brought so many changes to his life, and no matter what happened now, he’d never regret it. The early summer breeze filtering in through the open bay bathed him in warm weather. For the first time in a lot of years, he was looking forward to the coming months.