Trust Me (37 page)

I look at him with understanding. I know what it’s like to deal with the heartache of losing a loved one. The part I can’t comprehend is not having parents that give unconditional love. Automatically, I grab his hands.

Looking down, he continues, “Well, when you give a twenty-one-old boy millions of dollars on top of an already volatile relationship with his parents, it’s sure to turn into a disaster, especially when his guiding forces are no longer around. Drinking, sleeping around…you name it, and I tried it. I’ll share any and all of it with you if you need to know more details, Alli. I’m not proud of it, and honestly, I hate that you even have to know this part of me.”

I picture Damien mourning the loss of his grandparents while his father and mother treated him with disdain. I imagine his father’s behavior was similar to how he acted when he was with Cassandra in front of Damien’s house a month or so ago. It fills me with sadness that Damien didn’t have the same unconditional love I had with my parents.

I slightly dip me head for him to continue.

“My parents have always been all about the social side of things. As I told you before, they only care about appearances and the continuous climb up that imaginary social ladder.

“Seven years ago, I was in college and the dorms were closed for break. I got drunk and high prior to coming home to see my sister and deal with my parents for the weekend. I was staying out in the pool house, away from my parents. I decided to throw a party with all my high school friends who were in town that weekend since my mother and father had gone to their own event in the city. At some point in the evening, my sister came out to say hi because she was lonely. Some guys ended up saying horrible things to her, and I didn’t stop them because, honestly, I wasn’t all there. I was numb to it all.

“My sister and I had been close until I started throwing my life away. That was the first time I could ever remember hurting her. Even though those guys kept bothering her, I didn’t stop it. I just wasn’t right in the head. It’s not an excuse for how she was treated. In the end, she ran back to the main house, crying from the relentless cruelty of our drunken asses.”

He takes a deep breath as he runs his free hand through his hair over and over again. With the hand I’m holding, I give him a reassuring squeeze, letting him know he can continue when he’s ready. This next bit must be the most difficult part, considering how he’s pausing to gather himself. His life is so much more emotionally complicated than I ever thought.

When he looks at me, his eyes have a slight sheen to them, and my heart breaks into two because I know what’s coming.

“When I came to the next morning, she was nowhere to be found. There appeared to be a struggle of some kind in her bedroom. Becky was gone.

“Magazine articles were published, newspaper articles were printed, news broadcasts were done, and flyers were hung. Nothing was found—no sign, no trace, no ransom note, nothing. It was as if she had completely fallen off the face of the Earth. Several articles started calling it foul play, which caused a lack of enthusiasm in the search. Police continued to search for three weeks before she turned up dead on a side road in the woods.”

He takes a stuttering breath in, before continuing. “I’ll never forgive myself for not protecting her.”

Tears are streaming down my face as I take in his story and his broken posture. It’s heart-wrenching on so many levels. He had to go through that kind of grief without the support he should have been able to depend on—his family. His parents basically abandoned him.

Because of my parents, I know what unconditional love feels like. I’m so grateful that I had my parents while I did. My childhood was full of love and happiness.

Damien reaches over to my face and gently wipes my tear-stained cheeks. I immediately lean into him, needing the contact.

“I’m so sorry, Damien. I’m so, so sorry. I had no idea.”

He pulls me onto his lap, and he holds on to me as if I’m his lifeline.

“You can never run from me, Alli. I mean it. Becky ran from the pool house, and I never saw her again. I can’t ever lose you, baby. I wouldn’t survive it. You are my world. You have to listen to me, so I can keep you safe.”

The tears are flowing again at the raw pain I hear in his voice. No one, I’m sure, has ever seen Damien this vulnerable.

I put my face against his neck and take in his scent. “I promise, Damien. I swear. I could never stand to lose you either. I love you.”

He breathes a sigh of relief. I never even thought about how I didn’t know the specifics of what had happened that night. He gave me the overall story, just not the parts he blamed himself for. Damien’s trust issues and his fear for me all make sense now.

My hand automatically goes to his chest where his tattoo is. His hand comes up to cover mine, pressing my hand there.

“I got this tattoo to represent my biggest mistake. It’s a reminder to never repeat it. Since Becky’s death, I have kept everyone at a distance. I never thought I would have something like what I have with you…unconditional love.”

Oh, Damien. My poor Damien.
He’s punishing himself by taking the blame for everything. His tattoo shouldn’t be a painful reminder of all his mistakes. It should be a memory of someone he loved with his whole heart.

Through my tears, I try to reason with him. “Damien, it wasn’t your fault. You were dealing with so much yourself, and you had no support system. She was kidnapped, you didn’t cause her death because she ran to the house.”

“Alli, please…it was my fault. Don’t push that topic tonight, please.” He looks down at our hands on his chest.

His parents don’t deserve him.
He might have been messed up from the death of his grandparents, but his parents contributed to it by turning on him. They should have been there for him. I’m disgusted at the thought of giving up on someone for something as unfulfilling as money.

At the core of it all, Damien and I are more alike than I thought. We’ve both had to cope with an unfair loss. I just don’t know if he has actually dealt with it or just buried it.

When I lean back to grab a tissue from the side table, I see an envelope with a piece of paper partially sticking out of it, and it reminds me of the note I received at the children’s charity event and the note I found in his office. It becomes clear to me then that whoever this is has been trying to cause problems for a while now.

He’s on high alert from the expression on my face. “Alli, what is it?”

As I try to piece it all together, I absently respond, “The note.”

“What? The note with the flowers?”

I shake my head at his assumption. Suddenly, I feel like the world’s biggest idiot for not sharing the incident at the charity event when it happened.
Oh shit.

Damien gives me a slight shake to bring me back to the here and now. With an edge to his voice, he asks, “Alli, what is going on?”

“This summer, when we were at the children’s charity event, you left to go to the restroom, and a waiter came by and gave me a note. I thought it was Martin or Cassandra trying to break us up again, so I didn’t say anything to you. I thought it was just a part of their juvenile game.”

He sits straight up and grabs hold of my shoulders. “What are you talking about? What did the note say?”

“The note said, ‘You’re still missing a big piece of the pie, darling. Are you sure that you’re safe with him?’”

“What the fuck, Alli? Why wouldn’t you tell me something like that?”

What the hell? Is he seriously agitated after everything I’ve had to put up with?
“Really, Damien? You’re really asking me that after the couple crazy people I have had to deal with this summer? Every time I turned around, someone was trying to come between you and me. By not giving that note more than five seconds of my time, I was demonstrating how much I actually trust and care for you. I would have told you if I thought it mattered. You and I are not enemies in this. It was an honest mistake.” I’m proud of how calm my voice remained through my little speech.

Our eyes are locked—my blue-green with his charismatic blue. His eyes start to soften as he takes in my words.

He pulls me back to him. “I know, baby. I’m just a little on edge. Some lunatic knows all about the incident with Becky and is targeting us. I’m sorry.”

His words move me. “I’m sorry, too. We’re both stressed right now. We just have to remember that we’re on the same team.” Laying my head on his chest, I continue, “Do you think it’s all connected—the flowers, the notes, the texts?”

“I don’t know. Do you still have the note from the charity event?”

I respond, “Yes. It’s at my apartment.”

“We’ll need to get it.”

“Okay.” I focus on listening to his heartbeat through his shirt. It’s faster than normal, but it seems to help calm my nerves.

Then, I remember the other part of my revelations. Nervously, I start rambling. “I have something else to tell you. I wasn’t intentionally snooping. You left in a hurry to deal with that manager and player crisis. My camera was on your desk in your office, and I went to get it for the photo shoot. I saw a piece of paper sticking out of the envelope you had received. I was checking to see if it was something you needed for your trip. I read it, and it said something like, ‘Your yearly reminder.’ I decided to ask you about it the next time I saw you, but then things got crazy, and I forgot. I’m guessing it’s related to all this, too.”

It feels like an eternity before I feel his finger come underneath my chin. He brings my eyes to meet his.

“Baby, I don’t care that you went through my things. My house, my shit, everything that is mine—it is all yours, too. I planned on explaining more of my past to you at some point, but then that fucker Brad tried to assault you. I just never thought my past would collide with my future.” His thumb comes up and caresses my cheek. “Alli, you know I would stop at nothing to keep you safe, right?”

I nod to answer his question. I have never felt safer than when I’m in Damien’s presence. “Was there something else in the envelope besides the note I found?”

“Yes.” He pauses for a moment. “There was also a newspaper article from when Becky’s body was found. I get a clipping every year around the anniversary of her death. Since I have been caught up in you, it took me by surprise this year. It’s kind of like what happened to you at the Pancake House in Miami. It served as a reminder that there were things you still needed to know.”

“I’m glad you told me. I hope you know that I love you, regardless of what’s in your past.”

Our voices are just above a whisper.

“I love you, too, baby. I never realized how much you trusted me. No one has ever trusted me like that.”

My heart breaks a little more with that small admission. His asshole parents deserve to be taken out back to have some sense beat into them for causing him to have so much self-doubt.

“Have you been able to trace the article back to its source?” I ask.

“No, not at all. It comes from a random city every year in a plain manila envelope with no distinct markings or fingerprints. I’ve asked Bane to look into it. The investigators I’ve hired through the years found nothing. We’ll see if he’s able to make more progress.”

I am in shock that someone would go to great lengths to send Damien a painful reminder year after year after year. The dedication this crazy person has is unnerving.

“Is it the same article every year?”

“No, it’s a different one each time. There were so many papers that covered Becky’s abduction and death that this person will have an endless supply to choose from. It’s the only time throughout year I get one.”

This person
sends nothing else all year? It doesn’t make sense.
“What was this article about?”

Damien furrows his brows as he thinks about my question.

“This was one of the more detailed articles about her abduction.” His face pales as he says the word
abduction
. At the same time, he starts fishing his phone out of his pocket. “Let’s get packed, baby. I want to get us home.”

I look at him questioningly. “What’s going on?”

He doesn’t respond.
Something just clicked in his mind.

“Please, Damien. Don’t shut me out.”

He grabs my shoulders as absolute terror seeps through his eyes. “This is the first year I’ve received one about how Becky was abducted.”

My hands start to tremble slightly. “Do you think this person is after me now?”

He grabs my hands and starts rubbing those soothing circles. “Baby, I’m not taking any chances. I want to talk this out with Bane. I’ll feel better with you safe at our home. We’ll look at everything. There may not be any meaning to the articles. We could be overreacting. I will keep you safe though even if I have to give up everything I have. Make no mistake about that. Let’s go pack. I want to get you home.”

I swallow deep and nod as we start to move toward the bedroom. I’m really trying not to panic. I need to keep my cool, so Damien will continue to share information with me.

Holy shit! There’s a serious freako out there, and they are jonesing to hurt Damien in any way he can. I just happen to be the perfect pawn in this game.
Whoever this person is seems to be incredibly sick and patient, and I think that’s the part that worries me the most.

“We’ll need to run by your apartment to get the note and the flowers.”

“Okay. It’s probably still in my clutch from that night.”

We walk into the bedroom and quickly pack the essentials in order to leave immediately.

As we are leaving the hotel, Damien’s arm is wrapped tightly around me in the most reassuringly protective way. Before, I hadn’t known what was missing, but tonight, he gave me what I needed all along. Now, I know I’m ready to be his wife because he’s shown he trusts me as much as I do him.