Trusting Stone (28 page)

“No, I have something to say to you. And I have to say it now. When this whole thing first started, I couldn’t believe that anyone could make me feel the way you did. The way you do. And there was a time where it scared me because the feelings I had for you were so overwhelming that I thought I would get lost in them, that I would get lost in you. And after trying to find myself for so long, I thought it wasn’t right, that there was something dangerous and unhealthy about being so consumed with someone that you lost yourself in them. Then when I walked out that night, it was the worst time of my life. Worse than anything I’d ever felt before. It felt like a part of me had died and I didn’t know how I was going to continue. And I was so mad at you and mad at myself. I hated that I’d lost myself in you, hated that I could only be the woman I wanted to be when I was with you.

“When you saw me on the sidewalk a week later, I’d reached rock bottom because I
realized
that I couldn’t lie to myself anymore. That I had to face the fact that no matter how weak it made me feel, my life was better with you in it,
I
was better with you in it. Then when you came back to me and told me everything, I was scared because I knew how hard it would be when this ends, but I also
realized
that it was worth it. It would always be worth it because what I feel when I’m with you, the way you make me feel, it’s worth it all, it’s worth everything, it’s worth any hell I’ll have to experience. And now that I know that, I’m not scared anymore, I’m not afraid of the intensity of what we have. So I just want you to know that what you saw on the sidewalk might frighten you, but it doesn’t scare me anymore. You told me that being yours meant I had nothing to be afraid of anymore. And you were right. You make me not scared anymore, of anything, Sebastian.”

Eden had kept her gaze on Sebastian’s face and she knew he had winced when she’d mentioned them breaking up in the future, but it had to be said. She waited now for his response, feeling so exposed straddling him naked, but it was better this way. It was all out in the open now and she prayed that he understood what she had told him. But he didn’t answer her. Instead, he lifted her off him and placed her on the bed. He was getting something from his suit jacket that she had thrown on the floor when she’d stripped him. She couldn’t take the silence anymore.

“Sebastian, please, say something, anything.”

He turned to look at her, interrupting her as she tried to get him to talk. “No, it’s my turn now.” He seemed angry and she resisted wrapping the sheet around her. She knew how much he hated it when she tried to hide herself from him. “You said ‘when this ends.’ I don’t want it to end. And I don’t intend for it to end. Ever.” She now could see the item he had retrieved from his jacket and she gasped as he opened it and placed it in front of her on the bed. The ring was delicate and perfect for her. “You’re mine, Eden. What we have will never end. You’ll be my wife.”

As usual, it wasn’t a question, simply a statement of fact.

“That wasn’t a question, Sebastian.”

“It’s not a question because it’s a given. To ask you would imply that I don’t understand how you feel about me, that I don’t understand what you just told me. That I don’t understand that you would rather die than live your life without me. To ask would be an insult to everything we feel and everything you’ve just told me. So no, Eden, I’m not going to ask you to marry me. I’m going to tell you to put on the fucking ring before I lose it and then I’m going to fuck you senseless.”

Chapter Twenty-Nine

As soon as they returned back from Paris, Sebastian jumped into action. He had neglected his other offices for too long and wanted to show Eden his other homes, or what would soon be their homes. He had tried to convince her to let him arrange for movers to move her things into his
apartment,
but she wanted to arrange it herself.

Eden
realized
that having control was a necessity for Sebastian and they were both learning when to pick their battles. She was happy to move into his
apartment,
but considering everything that had happened before he swept her away to Paris, Eden thought it was best to move slowly. They still spent every night together at his place, but she wanted the time to pack her own things. She had only just finished unpacking from Edinburgh and she hadn’t finished going through the boxes her parents had sent up from Boston. Sebastian reluctantly agreed to back off and let her sort out her
apartment,
but she could see he was anxious about it as much as she
reassured
him it had nothing to do with her desire to move in with him. She still would spend every night at his
apartment,
but she needed to wrap up her old life on her own terms.

The other thing she had to wrap up was Joachim. She and Sebastian had their first fight as an engaged couple when she told him she wanted to talk to Joachim one last time so she could put his betrayal behind her. Sebastian absolutely refused, leading Eden to slam the bedroom door in his face and refuse to come out for three hours. Joachim had been pestering her with phone calls and texts almost daily since she’d asked him to leave her
apartment
. Whereas before, Eden would have interpreted this
behavior
as nothing but the actions of a supportive friend, she now knew it was something far more disturbing.

When she
finally
emerged from the bedroom, she found Sebastian sitting outside, waiting for her. “A compromise, my love. We’ll both see him for lunch. Public space, he can’t mess with your head or fill you with anymore lies, and he certainly doesn’t get to be alone with you in private.”

 Eden arranged it for the next day, but Joachim never showed up.

“I bet he saw that you were here and left,” Eden remarked, checking her phone again, not surprised to see that Joachim hadn’t texted or called to say he wasn’t coming. She hadn’t warned him that Sebastian would be joining them for lunch.

“I know you want to put this to rest, but maybe this is for the best, love. There’s nothing he could possibly say that would make you feel any better about what he did.”

“I know, he’s my oldest friend, though. I guess there was a part of me that hoped he had some explanation to give me that would ease the betrayal.” Eden looked up at Sebastian, grasping his hand. “After all this time, it’s hard to really imagine how wrong I was about him.”

Sebastian remained silent, his eyes warm, full of compassion at her obvious pain.

“I’m not going to sit around and mope, though. After all, I’ve got a wedding to plan. I’m going to finish off with the final boxes tonight, hopefully, and I’ll be home for a late dinner.”

“Of course, darling, whatever you want.”

****

While Eden finished
labeling
the boxes, she glanced down at her ring. Maybe Sebastian was right, maybe it was all for the best that she didn’t see Joachim one last time. She couldn’t imagine how he would have taken their engagement. The buzzing of the intercom shook her out of her reverie. She picked up the handset and was surprised to hear Rick, her doorman, inform her that Joachim was in the lobby.

“He’s agitated, do you want me to send him away?”

“No, it’s fine. Just send him up.” She hung up. Joachim no doubt wanted answers, but the fact that he hadn’t made any contact since their lunch made her nervous.
 

As soon as she opened the door to him, Eden could tell he had been drinking and she felt a flare of anger rise up.

“You’re drunk. You bailed on our lunch date and now you show up drunk. First class, Joachim, really.” She blurted it out without even thinking. She could smell the alcohol coming off him in waves.

“Yes, I’ve been drinking, Eden. It shouldn’t matter to you.”

“What’s wrong, Joachim? Why are you even here?”

“You said you would let me know when you were ready.”

Eden remembered the words she had said to him outside his office building at their first reunion, now almost two months ago. She wished she could go back and change it.

“I’ve waited for you, Eden. I’ve been waiting for you for years, patiently being at your side the whole time. And then you go with Sebastian Stone? How could you? Of all people, you get together with that lowlife scum?” Joachim stalked across the
apartment
, flailing his arms as he walked back and forth, continuing his rant. “And then that night, when I came to you, when you needed me, Eden, where was Sebastian? Answer me that, where was Sebastian? Not at your side, because he had gotten rid of you! And you still took him back!”

Her anger returned
suddenly
. How dare Joachim challenge her after all he done to her, all his betrayal? “Yes, I’m back with Sebastian, not that it’s any of your business. You don’t own me, Joachim. Despite my father’s blessing, despite all the big plans that you made for our life together, I’m not yours!” Eden
realized
this was a big mistake. She’d seen him drunk before, of course, but drunk and angry was not the Joachim she knew.

“Then why tell me to wait? Why not cut me loose instead of jumping into the bed of the first guy besides me who showed any interest?” She could see he regretted it as soon as the words were spoken. The truth was
finally
out. He didn’t think anyone would want her either.

All those years she had believed that no man would have her after what had happened, no man except Joachim Benedict. Eden had held on to that false reality for so long, that’s why she hadn’t been able to let Joachim go when he asked her to have him. She stepped back now, forbidding herself to cry, wishing Sebastian was here to hold her, to
take away
the memories that were crowding in.

“I never meant to lead you on, you know that. And after you told me about the ring, I made it clear I wanted Sebastian. But you’re just like the rest of them. You may have waited for me and, yes, you helped me, or at least lead me to believe that you were helping me, but you think of me just like my parents, our old friends—who would have me, right? Who would want me after what they did? I don’t owe you anymore, that’s what’s changed. I always felt like I owed you for what you did that night and it’s been hanging over me for years, because the only way I knew to repay you was to give to you what
they
wanted. I was going to have to give myself to you to be free of you.”

“That’s not true, Eden. Please, please forget I said it.” Joachim approached her now, his face distorted and constricted in pain. “You don’t know what this does to me. I’ve always wanted you, Eden. I let you go to Edinburgh because I thought when you came back we could start over. You could be happy and we could be together.”

“You didn’t
let
me go to Edinburgh! I left. And I know what you did! I know why you didn’t call the cops that night, why my father was so angry at
me
for the attack. I know you protected them,” she shouted, stepping back from him and bumping into the couch. She sidestepped it and walked into the kitchen, shocked by the force in her voice, but wary of Joachim’s silence. “I’m not yours, Joachim, I never was. And I
never
will be.” She knew what she was saying was breaking his heart and she looked at him, expecting to see sadness and remorse. After all, she didn’t owe him. The look on Joachim’s face made her freeze. It was a look she had never seen in all the years she had known him.

He walked toward the kitchen now, closing the distance between them. “Who told you about the contracts? Let me guess—Sebastian. So is he now your new knight in shining
armor
? Is he going to save you now? From me?” His voice was calm and he seemed sober.

“Joachim…I don’t need saving from you.” Eden tried to tone down the tension between them, very aware
suddenly
that no one would be interrupting them. She’d told Sebastian she’d be packing boxes late. He’d have no reason to come look for her. Rick knew Joachim was in her apartment, but would have no reason to check on her.

            
Joachim reached out quickly and grabbed her hand, staring at the engagement ring. “Are you fucking kidding me?” he roared.

           
Eden yanked her hand away, horrified by his voice. She had never seen Joachim lose his temper. His presence in her kitchen, his broad shoulders, his quarterback physique he had maintained
suddenly
looked menacing for the first time in her life, and Eden
realized
she had misjudged the situation horribly.

“Take off the goddamn ring.” Joachim’s voice was still loud, but now it was filled with something else besides fury.

“What?” Eden circled the island now, desperate to keep Joachim away from her. He slowly followed. He lunged at her again, wrestling the ring off her finger, twisting her wrist as he did so. Eden stumbled backward again, shocked at his violence, and she held her hands up, trying to formulate a plan. She glanced around the
apartment
, trying to remember where she had put her phone, whether she could reach her front door before Joachim.

“You said you would never be mine. But you know, Eden, there was a time when you were almost mine, when you let me do things to you, when you wanted me just as much as I wanted you. I know you wanted me.”

“We were just kids. I didn’t know what I wanted then, things are different now. Please try and understand.” She wasn’t sure what it would take to stop him.

“I think
never
is a very bold statement, Eden. And I can guarantee you that if I can’t have my ring on that finger, Sebastian fucking Stone can’t either.” With that, Eden lunged for the front door, scrambling to turn the bolt, and managed to get it open before Joachim got to her, but she was too slow. He pushed it shut, slamming both his hands on the door, trapping her between his arms. Instinct kicked and she brought her knee up into Joachim’s stomach as he leaned down to kiss her. He gasped, stepping back, and she knew she hadn’t hurt him but simply stunned him with her response. In those few seconds when he stepped back, she bolted, running for her bedroom, hoping to get there in time to lock the door behind her.

  But again, she was too late and Joachim pushed the door open despite her leaning against it with all her weight. He stared at her, filling the doorframe as she stumbled backward.

“Stop running, Eden. come on. I’m not going to hurt you.” He approached her slowly, knowing she was trapped. For every step he took forward, Eden stepped back, trying not to panic. She was no match against Joachim, but fighting back was her only option.  

Guessing what she was thinking, Joachim moved quickly and pushed her onto the bed. He was on her then, trying to kiss her as she turned away, pinning her arms to her sides as he wrapped his own around her.

“Eden, don’t,” he whispered as she continued to push and writhe in his grasp. “It’s me, it’s me. You know me, you know I can make you feel good,” he continued as if his voice could calm her. Eden felt his erection against her thigh, growing harder by the second. She could feel the panic rising in her chest. Her breathing became more and more shallow and she knew she wouldn’t be able to fight back if she had a full panic attack. Where was Sebastian? Why hadn’t she texted him back, told him to come to her? If only she had listened to him, she wouldn’t be in this situation.

Eden screamed now as she felt Joachim’s hand lifting her shirt while he pinned her wrists together with one hand above her head. Joachim didn’t even flinch and she
realized
she needed to change tactics. She stopped pushing against him, made her voice calm and soft, trying to connect to him.

“Please, Joachim, please don’t do this. It’s me. Please let me get up. We can talk about it.”

“I tried talking to you, Eden. I’ve tried for weeks to get you to talk to me. You wouldn’t have dinner with me. You wouldn’t respond to my texts. I’m done with talking. I’m taking what I want. What I’m due.” He kissed her neck as his hand moved further up her waist, grabbing a breast. She felt nauseous. He exhaled sharply as he slipped his fingers into her bra, brushing at her nipple with a coarse thumb. “God, I’ve missed you, Eden. I know you feel the same way.”