Truth or Dare (29 page)

“Got a minute?”

Tyler looked up from the laptop open on his high school desk to where his brother Mitch was leaning against the door frame with a towel wrapped around his waist and another to dry his wet hair.

Time to talk.

“What were you thinking, man? Gina’s poison. How could you not see that?” His brother had been waiting for his parents to go to bed, just like when they were kids, so he could get down to the unfiltered truth of something that needed to be said.

Tyler shook his head. His brother didn’t have kids. As far as he knew, Mitch had never even been in a serious relationship, so he couldn’t understand what it felt like to hold a precious new life in the cradle of his hands and love it so much, he’d be willing to make any sacrifice to ensure his safety and happiness.

“Mitch, this has
never
been about Gina. From the minute I found out she was pregnant, it’s only been about Charlie. About doing what was right for the boy I loved more than my own life.”

His brother nodded, his brow furrowed. “Shit, I know. I’m sorry. I know you love him. And you know I did, too, right?”

Yeah.
“I know.”

“So what are you going to do now? Does the fact that you’re back here mean you’re ready to start living your life again? That you’ve figured out how to let him go?”

Tyler shook his head. “I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to really let him go. I don’t even think I want to. But my biggest hurdle over all this time was feeling like I couldn’t give up because—blood or not—I was the only father Charlie had. The way Gina told it, Ray didn’t give either of them enough of anything. He didn’t provide enough. Wasn’t around enough. Hadn’t cared enough.”

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he thought about the nights he’d woken in a cold sweat, paralyzed by the idea his kid needed help, and he couldn’t give it to him. “It’s been driving me out of my mind thinking he was missing out on a father who loved and wanted him, a parent who would put him first instead of using him like a bargaining chip, when I’ve been right here. All I could think was, I couldn’t give up. I couldn’t abandon him.”

His brother let out a heavy breath. “What the hell is wrong with her to do that to you? Wasn’t lying about you being the father and then waiting a year to steal your kid away from you enough? She has to torture you with shit about the deadbeat she’s hooked up with being a crappy dad, too?”

There’d never been a doubt there was something screwed up about the way Gina related to guys. How she always needed to keep one waiting in the wings. How she needed the grand gestures and high drama.

But looking back now, there was only one person to blame for the dynamic between them this last year.

“It’s on me.”

Mitch looked like he was about to blow a gasket, but Tyler held up a staying hand. “I let all this go on, because I wasn’t ready to see Gina’s bullshit for what it was. The one time I saw all of them together, Charlie was refusing to go to Ray, and the guy threw up his hands and walked off. It was maybe three weeks after Gina had moved out, and when I think about it now, I imagine that would be a pretty rough transition. One they probably would have overcome in time, only I never really let myself see it going that way. I wasn’t ready to accept that Charlie had a life I wasn’t a part of, and never would be again. I wasn’t willing to acknowledge that maybe I couldn’t be Charlie’s father anymore, because he already had one.”

“I’m not following you. I thought this Ray was a piece of shit.”

“Yeah, I did, too. But that was because I refused to look closely enough to see it wasn’t true. I didn’t want to consider that Gina might be lying—even though I know firsthand that’s what she does—because I didn’t want to give up my hope of getting my boy back. Nothing mattered to me more than being able to keep the promise I made to Charlie to protect him, even from his own self-serving parents. Even when it meant signing on to a lifetime of being used by one of them. I didn’t think Ray actually wanted Charlie. I didn’t think he loved him. But Mitch, this guy—I found Ray’s fan page for his shitty band. And it’s—” He took a deep breath, his chest suddenly painfully tight again. “It’s all Charlie. Every day, there’s some new picture or video of my boy—
his boy
—laughing, riding his shoulders, wearing earplugs while he runs onstage during a show.
Happy.
It’s all about Ray’s love affair with being a dad. The wonder in the small things. The way Charlie looks at the sky, the grass, a bug. How Ray thinks he’s got a pitching arm on him already, but he can see the kid’s got an ear for music. There are poems, Mitch.”

“Aww man, I know that’s good, really good.” His brother met his eyes, understanding deep in his own. “But are you okay?”

Tyler could still feel the ache in his chest, but looking at his brother, he answered honestly. “It hurts like a motherfucker…but, yeah, I think I finally am.”

“That’s good. About the best thing I’ve heard in a long time.”

Something about the look on Mitch’s face—something too weary for the guy’s twenty-six years—made Tyler stop. “Everything okay with you?”

He’d been so wrapped up in his own shit, he hadn’t exactly had his finger on the pulse of the rest of the family.

Mitch’s head popped up, that devilish smile firmly back in place. “Hell, yeah. Except maybe I better start looking for a new place if you’re moving back. Not that I mind—to Hell with that, I totally mind. You’ve got a sweet pad, and it’s going to blow to give it up. But for you, I guess I will. Unless you want a roommate, which would be totally cool with me.”

Tyler laughed at his brother’s classic ping-ponging train of thought.

New York. He loved it. Had always thought of it as home, or at least he had until this last year. Now…

He saw Maggie standing up at her second-floor window, flipping him off with her snack food. Smiling at him from behind her tray of cookies. Peering up at him from his pillow as her fingers sifted through the mess of his hair. Laughing in that way that made him feel alive.

“I met this woman. She’s—she’s
everything,
Mitch.”

His brother grinned. “A girl? Ty, you sly dog, you! When? How? Details, man.”

Jesus,
his brother! “Keep your towel on, Mitchell.”

Tyler laughed, stretching back in his chair. When? From the first smile. How? Slowly. Details…fuck that, this wasn’t high school.

“Her name’s Maggie. But it’s complicated.”

“How? Gina married that singer. It’s time for you to move on with your life. And Maggie’s…
everything.
”

“Yeah, and she deserves everything, too. More than some guy who can’t get past his past even if he’s finally accepted it won’t be his future. Hell, I want her. But I just need to make sure I’ve got my head together before I go back. Before I ask her to give me another shot.”

Mitch was nodding, his grin lighting up the room. “So what you’re saying is, I get to keep the apartment.”

Tyler grinned right back. “Yeah, and your rent’s going up.”

It had been a week since Tyler’s predawn goodbye, and seven days had never passed so slowly in all of Maggie’s life.

Tyler texted a few times. Once to tell her he was thinking about her. Once to tell her it was good to be home. And once to send her a picture of the pie from his favorite pizzeria—that last being her favorite of the three for the simple fact that it was lighthearted, and a lighter heart was what she wanted most for Tyler.

And between those few communications, Maggie pushed forward with her life. Clocking her hours at work. Visiting different gallery districts around the city, getting a sense of the neighborhoods and, when she was able to make it during business hours, stopping in to talk with anyone available. Her years managing The Shrone had garnered extensive contacts, and she was using them to expand her information base while she rebuilt her own life plan.

Only every time she stopped moving, her thoughts inevitably drifted to Tyler. To the taste of his kiss and the rough texture of his words as he told her he’d wanted her from the start. The beating of his heart beneath her cheek. And the half-grin there through all of those unspoken moments when their eyes would meet, and it was like the rest of the world ceased to exist. The connection that had caught her by surprise, scaring her at first, but had somehow taken root deep in her heart.

She wondered how he was.

How New York fit after he’d spent so much time in Chicago. If he was coming back or if he’d rather leave the bad memories behind.

God,
it hurt to even think about him saying goodbye. She could see so much with him. All the things she’d sworn off with Kyle, she wanted with Tyler. Because with him it would be different. If he decided to stay. And if he still wanted her.

“Yo, Maggie!”

Her head popped up to where Tony was standing by the walk to her building, a twelve-pack of beer tucked under one arm. “You coming or going?”

Cripes,
she must look like a complete idiot standing by her open car door for the last however long. She hiked her bag over her shoulder and locked up.

“Hi, Tony. Here for the game?”

“You know it.” Holding the gate open, he gave her a nod. “Sticking around?”

It had been a long day, and the way her thoughts kept circling back to Tyler, she’d probably make crappy company and didn’t want to have to explain her angsty mood to the guys. But she’d made cookies last night, and sitting home alone mowing down an entire batch she’d baked to share was a low she wasn’t ready to revisit. “For a few minutes. But I’m pretty whipped.”

Inside, Tony headed straight for Ford’s, bellowing about the party starting and offering up a few whoop-whoops, as Maggie headed up to her place to drop her coat and get the snickerdoodles. Checking her phone, she didn’t let it get to her that the only messages were Ava with a picture of a corn chip that looked like a sailboat, and some forward from Tony with an attachment she’d never open, having learned from the last time.

Telling herself to suck it up and stop pining over Tyler, she took the stairs down to Ford’s and, juggling the tray, let herself in. She’d hear from him when she heard from him. And until then—

“They’re cookies, not a keg, for crissakes. She can manage.”

She had Tony, charming as ever, and the guys.

“No worries,” she called down to the kitchen where the guys had stationed themselves. “He’s right. I made it without a single casualty.”

There were a few minutes before the game started, but then they’d all be out in the living room, so she set the tray on the coffee table in front of the TV and peeled back the wrap as her friends called out one after the other from the other side of the apartment.

“Way to go, babe.” Sam, somehow making it sound like a proposition.

“Never doubted you.” Tony, invariably jerking his air dick.

“Want a beer or something?” Ford, polite and typically distracted.

“Maggie.” Tyler. Low and gruff and so shockingly close, she nearly tripped in her haste to turn around and see if he was real.
Really there.

“You okay?” he asked, fingertips trailing down her arm until he caught her hand in the loose hold of his own.

She was nodding. And then she realized she was nodding too fast, totally sabotaging any chance for a cool, measured response, but all she could think was
Tyler was there, in front of her, holding her hand.

Her heart was pounding, her skin warm from their proximity alone. He was back. There were a million questions she wanted to ask—how he was coping, whether he’d heard anything else from Gina, if he planned to stay, whether he’d thought of her—but with their friends in the next room and probably headed this way already, she settled for the most innocuous.

“When did you get in?”

“Maybe an hour ago. Ran into Ford and he said you’d be here.” His brows drew down into a small scowl. “My brother dropped my phone in the sink, or I’d have texted to let you know I was on my way.”

And then she was wrapped in Tyler’s arms and that deep voice was rumbling into her hair. “God, I missed you, Maggie.”

She tried to answer, but her throat was too tight, her chest too full, and what could she say that would be enough?

Instead, she closed her eyes and tucked her head against his heart. After a moment, she managed a thick “You, too.”

Cupping her jaw, he tipped her face to his. She shouldn’t have looked into his eyes. She’d had a chance of holding herself together despite the way her pulse thundered through her veins. But when their eyes met, when they were this close, when she could feel the heat of his body and his breath in her hair…the part of her that held her defenses in place and kept whispering that she still had no idea what his plans were crumbled, and all she wanted was to fall into the pull of him.

So what if he wasn’t staying. Would it be better to hold her heart in check and miss out on what might be the last hours she had to be with him? No, she didn’t care if she was being reckless with her heart. She wanted him.

Whatever time there was left, she wanted the chance to be with Tyler again.

At the sound of the guys coming down the hall, Maggie jumped back like she’d caught fire, and brushed herself off like there was any chance of putting out the embers still burning between them.

Because knowing she was inviting heartbreak upon herself was one thing; offering up ringside seats for the carnage was something totally different.

Seeing her reaction, Tyler took a step back, too, then, thinking better of it, leaned in again, bypassing her so he could snag a cookie.

Sam rounded the corner first, looking back at Ford as he did. “So what, two large sausage and mushrooms going to be enough, or are you thinking more?”

Maggie backed around the coffee table, avoiding eye contact with the lot of them. “None for me, guys. I wanted to drop the cookies off, but I’m burnt. Think I’ll just see you guys tomorrow.”

Tyler was making his own excuses as she let herself out. And then he was following behind as she climbed the stairs, not looking back. Not saying a word. Just putting one foot in front of the next, turning the corner, and reaching for her door.