TTFN (33 page)

SnowAngel:

now that the weight of the world is off my shoulders, i'm starting to get my appetite back.

zoegirl:

doug did something cute at school, though. he gave me a hug, and without telling me, he slipped a bendy heart into my jacket pocket. it has little
rubber arms and little rubber legs and a glued-on picture of his face.

SnowAngel:

awwww!

mad maddie:

retch, retch

zoegirl:

he wrote me another poem too. it's about how he values our friendship just as much, if not more, than all this other stuff. it ends like this:

 

But for now just let me hold you close As I hear your breath and feel your sighs, And let me take a healthy dose Of your essence, smile, soul, and eyes.

SnowAngel:

that's so sweet!

zoegirl:

isn't it?

SnowAngel:

*jabs maddie in the shoulder* don't u have anything to add, mads?

mad maddie:

er … what angela said

zoegirl:

maddie! i *know* you're rolling your eyes, so you can just stop.

zoegirl:

but i don't even care, because i know there's something between us. he really is the one.

SnowAngel:

i think that's great, zoe

mad maddie:

it IS great. i thought i had that with chive, but obviously i don't.

SnowAngel:

*puts arm around maddie sympathetically*

zoegirl:

anyway, i've been thinking a lot about it … and my honest prediction is that we will, you know, make love.

SnowAngel:

*lets out low whistle*

zoegirl:

just not anytime soon, obviously

mad maddie:

unless u do it in the supply closet at Kidding Around …

zoegirl:

maddie!

mad maddie:

jk

mad maddie:

i, on the other hand, will NOT be getting any action in the near future, cuz i called chive and told him that we're done fooling around. now there's a twist, huh?

SnowAngel:

maddie! i am SO proud of u!

mad maddie:

well, it's like my dad says. why buy the cow if u can have the milk for free?

zoegirl:

yes, absolutely. and you'll *know* when it's real, mads, you really will. just like i do with doug.

mad maddie:

yeah, shut up. that sounds a little too much like rubbing it in.

zoegirl:

maddie, no! i'm not trying to rub it in at all!

mad maddie:

whatevs

mad maddie:

but we've discussed it enough, ok? it's not easy, even tho i know it's the right thing to do.

mad maddie:

i always learn my fucking life lessons the hard way.

SnowAngel:

ah, mads. but at least u've got us.

mad maddie:

so … u guys really like your bracelets? really and truly?

SnowAngel:

i love mine. i completely and fully love it.

zoegirl:

me too. i can't wait to see what it looks like on.

mad maddie:

OH! that reminds me. the rule is that we have to put them on for each other. none of this “bracelet breakthrough, i-don't-need-anyone-but-myself-so-i'll-tie-it-to-a-necklace” business, got it?

zoegirl:

huh?

SnowAngel:

she's talking about this great method i invented of putting bracelets on.

SnowAngel:

but she's right. her way is better.

zoegirl:

that means we can't wear them until we're all together, though.

mad maddie:

no worries, we'll find a way around this foolish grounding business.

SnowAngel:

surely your parents will let u come see ME, won't they? dear pitiful me who's been gone for so long?

SnowAngel:

my aunt sadie could be our chaperone and make sure that no one smokes pot or does the nasty.

zoegirl:

haha, very funny

SnowAngel:

ahhh, my friends. i think things r looking up.

mad maddie:

yeah, life is good, even when it sucks.

zoegirl:

we'll see each other soon, then?

SnowAngel:

very soon. so altho i'm signing off—*draws hand to heart emotionally*—it is with the comfort of knowing that it is the most temporary of farewells.

zoegirl:

you make me laugh, angela. but yeah, i should go too.

mad maddie:

laters, dudes

SnowAngel:

and btw, i DO believe! i do, i do!

mad maddie:

u sound like tinkerbell, u nut

SnowAngel:

*wiggles cute little bottom suggestively*

SnowAngel:

ttfn!!!

zoegirl:

maddie!!! i'm so excited, i can't sit still! i can't believe i'm going to see doug in 2 hrs!

mad maddie:

i hear ya—even i'm kinda excited to c the guy. i wonder if he's changed?

zoegirl:

do you *ever* check his instagram? he's gotten tanner. his hair is longer. he is even more handsome than he used to be, which seems impossible.

mad maddie:

deeper changes. like, changes on the inside.

zoegirl:

it's been SIX ENTIRE MONTHS. *6 months* of no doug!

zoegirl:

aye-yai-yai—what if he doesn't like me anymore?

mad maddie:

oh, please. doug is doug is doug, and no semester at sea is gonna change that.

mad maddie:

anywayz, haven't you guys been skyping every single day?

zoegirl:

that's true, but it's still different from being with someone in person.

zoegirl:

what i liked even more than skyping—maybe—were the snail mail letters he sent. well, snail mail postcards, mainly, from all the different places they docked. sooo romantic.

mad maddie:

speaking of romantic, what's doug gonna say when angela and i show up at the airport with you?

zoegirl:

er … hi, maddie? hi, angela?

mad maddie:

he's not gonna be pissed?

zoegirl:

why would he be pissed?

mad maddie:

that it's not just the 2 of you

zoegirl:

course not. 1st of all, his parents are going to be there. and 2nd of all, i'm way too nervous to go by myself.

zoegirl:

i have to have my maddie and my angela—he knows that!

mad maddie:

how's he gonna feel, waltzing back to school in the middle of our senior yr? is that gonna be weird for him?

zoegirl:

PAST the middle of the year. i was *supposed* to have him back at the beginning of the semester.

mad maddie:

i'm still reeling from the unfairness of that, btw. let's pretend i was the lucky 1 who jaunted off to Sea the World. would the administrators let ME take an extra month off to travel with my parents? i don't think so.

zoegirl:

but you don't have straight As like doug—no offense.

mad maddie:

none taken. i'm proud of my Bs.

zoegirl:

doug's mom called it “cultural enrichment.” that's the excuse she gave the school. but i say he's seen enough of the world. now he needs to see ME!

mad maddie:

ah yes, now it's time for him to be enriched in OTHER ways, nudge-nudge, wink-wink.

zoegirl:

maddie!!!

zoegirl:

i'm just glad we're going to be together again. i mean, he had a great time, and i'm proud of him for doing it, but he's definitely ready to be home.

mad maddie:

god, and i am definitely ready to NOT.

mad maddie:

seriously, if i could graduate tomorrow, i would. i'd be like, hasta la vista, baby! g-bye, atlanta—hello, santa cruz!

zoegirl:

*if* you get in. which you will. i hate that you want to go so far away, though.

mad maddie:

blame angela. if we hadn't gone to california with her over the summer …

zoegirl:

too ironic. she escapes california to move back
to atlanta, and now all you wanna do is escape atlanta and move to california.

mad maddie:

U.C.S.C., here i come. go, banana slugs!

zoegirl:

is that honestly their mascot?

mad maddie:

it honestly is their mascot. it's 1 of the many cool things about them—their whole who-gives-a-damn attitude about typical college stuff like rah-rah football teams. that and the fact that they're 3,000 miles away, heh heh heh.

zoegirl:

oh, wow

zoegirl:

maddie … i just realized something

mad maddie:

what?

zoegirl:

things really are changing, aren't they? we're seniors, we're going to graduate in 3 months, we're all going to go our separate ways …

mad maddie:

and this comes as a surprise?

zoegirl:

no … i just don't know if i'm ready

mad maddie:

i sure as hell am

mad maddie:

repeat after me: change is good

zoegirl:

omg—no *way* did you just say that!

zoegirl:

if angela were here, she'd be rolling on the ground.

mad maddie:

pardon me, but all i said was that change is good. why is that funny?

zoegirl:

oh, mads. aren't you the one who was outraged when they switched brands of soap in the girls' bathroom?

mad maddie:

the old kind was better! it smelled like lavender!

zoegirl:

and you have a fit if you can't start the day with your pop-tart and dr pepper. i thought you were going to stage a riot that day the drink machine was out!

mad maddie:

i'm a growing girl. i need my caffeine.

zoegirl:

and every time facebook changes its layout,
you swear you're going to shut down yr fb page forever

mad maddie:

your point?

zoegirl:

my point is that you *hate* change

mad maddie:

no i don't

zoegirl:

yeah, you do

zoegirl:

it's cute

mad maddie:

i thought we were talking about marching off into the big bad world, not what kind of soap comes out when you squirt the thingie in the bathroom. and all i was saying is that we can't stay in high school forever, even if we wanted to.

zoegirl:

i know that. but it still feels huge.

mad maddie:

anywayz, no reason to get worked up about it now. there'll be plenty of time for weeping and gnashing of the teeth before it's over.

zoegirl:

i already gnash my teeth—that's why i wear a mouth guard at night. my dentist says it's the curse of being an overachiever.

mad maddie:

an overachiever? YOU?

zoegirl:

haha

zoegirl:

hey, can i tell you something stupid that's totally not worth dealing with, but at the same time i'm kind of disturbed by?

mad maddie:

shoot

zoegirl:

it has to do with jana. still wanna hear?

mad maddie:

oh god. not THE J-WORD.

zoegirl:

you and jana have a past. i'm just trying to be sensitive.

mad maddie:

you might have to excuse me while i retch, but other than that, go ahead.

zoegirl:

well, right before i left school today, i ran into terri. now, normally we wouldn't have even exchanged hellos, because of the fact she's
jana's best friend. but terri had been crying—her eyes were red and her face was all puffy—and i would have been a complete jerk to not say anything.

mad maddie:

if i'd seen terri and she'd been crying, i wouldn't have said anything.

zoegirl:

yes you would've

mad maddie:

and if the situation were reversed, i wouldn't want HER to say anything, either.

zoegirl:

well, i am a good human, so i said, “um … terri? you ok?” which made her burst into tears all over again.

mad maddie:

c? that is why you should leave crying ppl alone.

zoegirl:

she was *horrified* to be falling apart like that in front of me, i could tell. she kept saying, “i'm fine, i'm fine,” but she obviously wasn't. so i took her to the girls' room and gave her a wet paper towel to press against her eyes, and we ended up sitting down below the sinks and talking.

mad maddie:

so what was wrong? or rather, what terrible and awful thing had jana done to her?

zoegirl:

they'd gotten into a yelling match over terri's hair, if you can believe it. you know how it's now the same shade as jana's? jana had cussed terri out for being a clone, and i guess she took it too far and said some really nasty things.

mad maddie:

jana takes everything too far. she always has, but this year even more so.

mad maddie:

she should go thru life armed with an apology and a complimentary bag of peanuts.

zoegirl:

well, i felt bad for terri, even tho she's not my favorite person. i hate it when i fight with you or angela.

mad maddie:

what r u talking about? we don't fight.

zoegirl:

so i said something like, “she shouldn't treat you that way,” and terri said, “she treats *everybody* that way.” i said she better stop or she won't have any friends left, and terri snorted. she was like, “poor little jana, alone in a corner. just her and her teddy bear.”

mad maddie:

HA