Turbulent Kisses (4 page)

Pearl waited until she couldn’t hear his steps anymore before she sagged against the doorframe with a racing heart and shivers racking her body.

She closed her eyes and counted slowly to thirty, before her hand slipped down the front of her skintight jeans, feeling the long scar. It started just below her hip and continued all the way down to her knee. She didn’t have to open her eyes, or look at herself in a mirror to know what it looked like.

Ugly. Red. The skin puckered around the healing tissue, still swollen, though no longer oozing.

For a few moments, she’d been able to forget about the last few months, and just feel. She’d been on fire for Chase, her body yearning to be held in his strong arms and touched by him. She had wanted him. She thought she’d be able to have sex with him.

She was wrong.

When he’d moved his big hand down her hip and over her thigh, she’d frozen in place. The memory sent icy chills down her spine.
How on earth could she have thought sleeping with him was a good idea? That she could forget?

She imagined how freaked out he’d be if he felt – or worse, saw – her horrible scar. The myriad of questions he’d asked. Questions she didn’t want to answer. Memories she didn’t want to face. Fears she didn’t want to deal with.

God, I was an idiot for bringing him here.
But it had felt so good in his arms. Safe. Protected. And wanted. The look in his hungry eyes had fired up her own arousal to the point she’d barely been able to control herself.

Pearl took several deep breaths, the crisp cool air catching in her lungs as she tried to focus on what was truly important. Her career. Healing. A man didn’t fit anywhere in her plans. Not now.

Like all top athletes, she lived with the knowledge that her profession didn’t have a very long shelf life. She wanted to use this short time to the fullest. Right now, she was at the top of her sport and if she managed to make that stupid knee function properly, she could compete the next season – and win.

Perhaps in a few years, when she was too old or too injured to continue her competitive career, then she could revisit making room for a man in her life. But not right now. She had more than enough on her plate and a man would only mess with her mind. It would be hard enough to get through the next competitive season; she needed a distraction like she needed the plague.

After several more deep breaths, she slowly regained control over her body and mind. But try as she might, her feelings wouldn’t let her control them completely. A cold breeze touched her stomach and she shivered, noticing goosebumps on her arms. Where did these come from?

When she crossed her arms in front of her chest, she suddenly became aware she was still naked from the waist up. Her breasts exposed, her nipples tight, and not just from the cold. They ached to be in his mouth once again, the small taste of his caress not nearly enough to assuage her needs.

She slipped on her top, palming her nipples as she imagined Chase there, his mouth warming them. His husky voice, when he’d seen her bellybutton ring and the dragon tattoo winding itself around her torso had reverberated through her insides, igniting flame after flame. He’d been immensely turned on as well, his hands and his mouth taking sweet possession of her body. If only he’d stayed above her waist. If only she hadn’t panicked, they’d probably still be going at each other. Lips melding. Teeth clicking as they devoured one another…

Stop it!

Pearl headed to the living room, slamming the door shut on the frigid air in the hallway and the memory of Chase. But despite her best efforts to busy herself, images of him kept invading her mind. She’d never had such trouble getting her mind back under control.

As a high diver, she had spent years perfecting control over her mind. Sixty-six feet above the water, it was vital to be absolutely focused. The moment she got amped up, her soundness was at risk. One little error during the dive and she could end up in the hospital. Or dead.

Even a few breathing exercises didn’t do the trick today. How had Mr. Shirtless managed to get completely under her skin?

Frustrated, she picked up the phone and called one of her friends from college who lived in a suburb outside Chicago. Some distance between herself and charming Chase Paxton would help to get him out of her mind.

“Shepherd residence.”

“Tara? Hi, it’s Pearl.”

“Pearl? Hey sweetie, how are you doing? I haven’t heard from you in ages.”

“I’ve been awfully busy. I’m near Chicago for the next week and thought maybe we could catch up.”

“You’re coming to Chicago? That’s awesome. And yes, I’m here. How about tomorrow?”

“Great. Would around ten in the morning be fine with you?”

“Perfect. I can drive in and meet you someplace or do you want to come out to the house?”

“I’ve got a car so I’ll drive out to your place.”

“Oh, I’m so excited to see you.”

“Me too,” Pearl told her, hanging up the phone and feeling slightly better. She was in control of herself once again. She’d drive down to Chicago tomorrow, have a nice visit with Tara and put Chase completely out of her mind.

Chase encountered a discarded beer can and kicked it along until he arrived back at his parents’ home. Still in an awful mood, he entered quietly and slipped off to his bedroom. He didn’t want to see or talk to anyone.

He got ready for bed and then lay there in the dark for several hours, his mind frantically searching for an explanation to what happened. How dare she dump him like that? And why? What had turned her from a passionate woman into an iceberg within a moment?

One thing he was sure about though, was that he wouldn’t give her the opportunity to dump him a second time.

He woke up the next morning and entered the kitchen, where Ethan stood near the coffee pot grinning from ear to ear. Chase grabbed a bowl and poured some cereal into it, adding milk and trying not to acknowledge the smirk on his brother’s face.

But he knew his brother well enough to acknowledge there was no way out.

“So, bro. You came in early last night. She shot you down?”

Chase took a bite of his cereal and met his brother’s gaze, sending him the stay-out-of-my-business-and-shut-up stare. Only this time it didn’t work.

Ethan started laughing and slapped his hand on his thigh. “She did, didn’t she? She shot you down. Oh, this is just great. You know what this means?”

Chase swallowed and then sighed. “No, Ethan. What does this mean?”

“You’re buying the drinks.”

He shook his head. “No, that wasn’t the deal. The bet was about getting her to go out with one of us. She went out with me. That means you’re buying.”

“Since when does a woman meeting you at a bar and not letting you into her pants constitute a date? You’re joking, right?”

He had no intention of arguing with his brother’s definition, nor did he want to rehash the events of the night before so he agreed, reluctantly. “Fine. I’m buying the drinks. Tonight.”

He could care less. His ego was still hurting, and strangely enough, his heart felt slightly bruised as well. Since when was his heart involved when it came to a woman? Chase needed to get clarity about these new feelings and Ethan definitely wasn’t the brother who’d understand. Hell, he himself would have called him crazy two days ago.

This morning, his first thoughts had been about her.
Why did she turn me away last night? What is hurting her and how can I help?

Those perplexing thoughts needed to leave his mind. At least for a little while.

He finished his cereal and placed his bowl in the dishwasher. “I’m heading out for a run. Want to join me?”

Ethan ducked his head in fake fear. “No way. You tried to kill me last time.”

“Pansy. I did not try to kill you. You’re just weak and out of shape.”

“Ha ha. But no thanks. Today’s my last day of vacation. I’ll pop my feet on the couch and watch some TV.” Ethan turned to leave the room, and Chase grinned. He would have liked running with his brother, but on second thought, it was probably better to stay alone and think things over.

“Okay, you stay here and get softer, I’ll join you later.” He grabbed his running gear and his shoes and then headed out. He took the long path along the beach this morning, pushing himself to a full five miles before stopping and stretching.
I really need to get on my kiteboard to work out my frustration
. But with temperatures slightly above freezing point and zero wind, it would be a fruitless task.

He’d kind of hoped to see Pearl at the beach again, but she wasn’t there. As he stretched his legs out, he wasn’t sure if he was happy about that, or disappointed. His emotions confused the hell out of him.

This fixation he had with her was starting to get to him. He didn’t do attachments. He didn’t do emotions. And a woman sure as hell didn’t turn him down either. Not when she was clearly interested in him.

Getting turned down felt like shit. He was the one in control of his dates. Not her. Never the girl. He was the one that broke hearts, not the one who got his heart broken.

Whoa! Who said anything about my heart being broken
?

And yet, he’d never felt this way before. He shook his head as he started on his five-mile jog back to the house.
Broken heart? Pshaw. That’s utter nonsense and has nothing to do with me.

When he returned to the house, Ethan was lounging in front of the TV. “Hey. How was your run?”

Chase grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and downed half of it before answering, “Good. What are you up to?”

“Not much. I’m leaving for London tomorrow. Want to give me a ride to the airport?”

“Sure. What time’s your flight?”

Ethan paused and then grinned. “Eight o’clock?”

“P.M.,” Chase asked, popping down on the couch next to his brother.

“Sorry, bro. A.M.”

Chase moaned. “That means we need to leave here at like five o’clock in the morning.”

“Still willing to drive me in?” Ethan asked while making room on the couch.

“Sure, why not.”

“Great. So, about those drinks?”

“Yeah, I haven’t forgotten about that. Let’s plan on the Lighthouse Bar tonight.”

“Sure, but let’s go early enough that if we find a little honey to spend some time with, we can still get a lick of sleep.”

Chase nodded. “Fine with me.”

After a few minutes of flicking through the channels, he got up and headed for the shower. He’d go to the bar with Ethan and maybe he could find someone to help him get his mind off the dark haired woman who consumed his every thought.

They went to the bar later that night, arriving early enough to have first pick of the seating and first pick of the single women as they arrived. Ethan immediately chose his target for the night, and a half hour later, he nodded to his brother and left the bar, his arm wrapped around the shoulders of a petite redhead who was practically crawling all over him.

Chase tossed back the rest of his beer, his second and last one for the night unfortunately. He’d love to drink Pearl out of his mind, but he needed to drive in the morning, so that wasn’t an option.

Several women came over and tried to engage him in conversation; openly flirting with him, but he just couldn’t find the energy to reciprocate tonight. None of them compared to Pearl.
Pearl. Pearl.

He was disgusted with himself and with her for putting him in this predicament. It was humbling. How on earth had she been able to resist his charm?

Women didn’t resist him. Ever. And that included Miss Pearl. She might have gotten away with it once, but she wouldn’t get away with it a second time.

The challenge was on, and this time, she was going to beg him to finish what they’d started the night before.

Pearl woke up after a restless night. Try as she might, she’d been unable to stop thinking about Chase and the events of the night before. As she got into her car and headed towards Chicago, she was relieved to have something to distract her from her thoughts.

She thought about Tara, and how different their lives had become. Tara had married Jack, her high school sweetheart right after college graduation. Her friend had majored in finance, but rather than utilizing her degree, she’d gotten married and then pregnant right away. She was the same age as Pearl, but that was the only thing they still had in common.

Tara was a stay-at-home mom of three at the age of twenty-seven. To Pearl, it seemed like she had thrown her entire life away for a husband and kids. She didn’t want that kind of life for herself. Pearl wanted to be in control, make her own decisions, and take calculated risks, knowing she wouldn’t be hurting anyone other than herself. That was the kind of life she wanted.

When she arrived on the outskirts of Chicago, she had to concentrate on the traffic and the voice of her navigation system with directions to Tara’s home. Thirty minutes later, Pearl pulled into a nice neighborhood with brick houses and the proverbial white picket fences.

She vaguely remembered the place from an earlier visit and easily found the driveway, where she parked. She glimpsed a playset in the back yard behind the fence. It was currently covered in snow, but as she walked up the sidewalk to the front door, she could easily envision the large yard in the summer. Green grass. Flowers. And kids running to and fro.

Pearl loved kids and one day wanted to have some of her own, but first she wanted to achieve big things. Once upon the time, Tara had thought the same. They’d shared their dreams and expectations, how they’d wanted to make the world a better place.

Because Pearl not only wanted to be the best in her sport and win the world championship. No. She pursued an even bigger goal. She wanted to be a role model for younger girls. To show them that women can reach anything in life if they worked hard enough to get it.

It made her proud to know that high diving had been a masculine domain forever and only a few years back, women started claiming that extreme sport for them as well. With success. So much success that the women’s competitions now attracted the same number of spectators as the men, and the prize money along with sponsorships was almost at an equal level.

“Hey, come on in out of the cold. It’s been such a long time since we’ve seen each other,” Tara said, pulling her in for a hug once the front door was shut.

“Much too long. I hope my calling you didn’t mess up your plans or anything.” Pearl scanned the room as they crossed the hallway.

“No.” Tara waved her concern away. “Come on into the kitchen and have a seat. I have some muffins in the oven that are just about ready to come out.”

Pearl licked her lips and sniffed the scent of warm chocolate. In her hurry to get away from her thoughts about Chase, she’d completely forgotten to eat breakfast this morning. “It smells terrific. And I love muffins.”

Then she followed Tara, sidestepping toys strewn across the living room.

“Sorry about the mess, but with three little ones, I can’t ever keep the house clean for more than five minutes,” Tara said in an apologetic tone.

“Don’t worry about it.”

“So, what have you been up to? Congratulations on winning the world championship last year.”

“Thanks. Diving’s about it.”

“I think it’s so cool that you picked up those sponsors. Getting paid to pursue your hobby is awesome, isn’t it?” The oven timer went off and Tara grabbed a potholder and lifted the pan from the oven, setting it on the stove to cool. “So, are you ready for the upcoming season?”

Pearl bit her lip and pasted a smile upon her face. “Sure. It’s what I do.”

Tara smiled at her and then placed some muffins on a plate. She brought it, along with a plastic container of fake butter to the kitchen table. “What can I get you to drink? Milk. Juice. Coffee.”

“Water would be great,” Pearl answered while she sat down on one of the chairs.

Tara filled two glasses with water and then joined her back at the table.

Pearl watched her. “So, where are the kids?”

“Thomas and Charles are at school until three, and Nathan is thankfully taking a morning nap. If I’m lucky, he’ll take one this afternoon as well. It’s the only time I even get close to getting caught up around here.”

Scanning the kitchen, Pearl thought it was pretty tidy. Hers sometimes looked worse when she was too tired to clean up after hours of hard training.

They continued to discuss some of their friends from school. Most of them had moved away from their hometown of Misty Falls in North Carolina and were scattered across the country. Pearl had been awfully out of touch and Tara filled her in on the latest news of who did what. More than a few had traveled the path of matrimony, and were doing just what Tara was doing. Raising a family in the suburbs somewhere. Laundry. Wiping noses. Fixing dinner each night for a spouse.

When the conversation hit a lull, Pearl couldn’t resist asking her friend about her life. “So, Tara? Is this what you wanted from life?”

Tara ducked her head and rather than answer the question honestly, she skirted around the answer. “Life isn’t a request program. You have to compromise in a relationship.”

Pearl thought about that for a moment and then stated baldly, “From what I can see, it looks like you’re the only one who did any compromising. I mean you moved halfway across the country to be with Jack. You’re living far away from your family and friends, and from what you’re telling me, your husband is never around.”

She bristled. “Jack’s career field is very competitive. Taking this traveling position was a chance for him to jump ahead in the company.”

“But, doesn’t it feel almost like you’re a single mother at times?”

Tara shrugged. “Sometimes, but I can’t focus on that. Jack’s a good provider, and I have the kids to keep me busy.”

“But that’s just my point. You got married and had kids together, and you’re the one who had to give up your dreams and your goals. Jack didn’t give up anything. For him, nothing changed.”

Tara gave her a sad smile. “When you’re married, you’ll understand that there are different areas of compromise. Jack travels so much, and his company just offered him to manage the European branch as well.”

Pearl looked at her friend, wondering how she could think that was a good thing. Now her husband would have to travel internationally, which would leave Tara alone for even longer stints of time.

That wasn’t anywhere close to the kind of life Pearl envisioned for herself. When she finally settled down, she wanted a man who would see her as an equal partner in their relationship. Sharing everything. Money, decisions, household chores. And most definitely the kids. That was the only way she’d ever consider tying herself down to another person.

“So, Pearl, you said you were staying up in Sandy Beach?”

“Yeah, I rented a small beachfront apartment there so I could recuperate.”

“I heard about your injury. What exactly happened?”

“Bad luck, I guess.” Her injury had been publicized as a training injury, and she’d downplayed the severity of it whenever she was asked. Now wasn’t the time to come clean.

“So, why Sandy Beach?” Tara reached for the empty plates to put them in the dishwasher.

“Because it’s only a short car drive to the hospital in Milwaukee, where the best surgeon in the country for knee problems works. Since I had to go there for therapy once or twice a week, it only made sense to be close. Besides, I really like the place.”
And nobody knows me in Sandy Beach.

Tara looked at her and then asked quietly, “But your knee’s healing up alright? I didn’t notice anything when you walked in.”

Pearl sighed and shrugged. “Kind of.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Pearl shook her head. “I really don’t know yet. I want to compete, but I just…God, I’m scared that I might not be able to. I don’t know what I’ll do if I can’t dive any longer.”

Tara scrunched her nose and shook her head. “Well, sweetie, you didn’t honestly think you’d be able to dive competitively forever, did you? I mean you’re the same age I am. Twenty-seven. Maybe it’s time you stopped fooling around with diving and took up a serious career. Or better yet, find yourself a man, get married and have kids.”

Pearl looked at her in annoyance. While her friend was right about her career not being able to last forever, she didn’t want it to stop just yet, when she was in the best form of her life. Last season, she was miles ahead of all the other competitors and if she could get that stupid leg to function properly again, she’d surely win the World Series once again. For the third consecutive year. Quitting wasn’t in her vocabulary. Neither was defeat.

Her response was sharper than she’d intended. “Because being married is so much fun? Look at yourself. From where I’m sitting, you’re trapped into an existence as a desperate housewife.”

Pearl expected her friend to be offended, but she only giggled. “That’s me. Desperate housewife of Wisteria Lane. Maybe I can get my own reality show.” But when Pearl didn’t laugh with her, she changed the subject.

“So, speaking of men, I’m sure there’s some guy in your life?” Tara asked her.

Pearl grimaced and then told her about Chase. “He’s seriously the hottest guy I’ve ever made out with. And I’ve made out with plenty enough to know hot when I meet it.”

Tara shook her head. “You do realize this isn’t college right? You shouldn’t still be swooning over every sexy male you meet. And sleeping around isn’t going to help you find the one man you’re destined to be with.”

Pearl was really annoyed now; she hadn’t come here to be lectured. “Since when are you such a prude? And for the record: I didn’t sleep with him.”

“Well, I guess that’s a step in the right direction.”

In a split second, her annoyance moved to anger. Who or what gave Tara the right to pass judgment on her life? She had the right to live her life on her own terms, with nobody to answer to.
At least I’m living my life to the fullest. What’s she doing?

“I should probably head out,” Pearl said, not wanting her anger to spill over and cause her to say something she shouldn’t. Besides, she realized she had been judging too.

“Hey, I’m just telling it like I see it.”

She thinned her lips and nodded. “Fine. But let me ask you something. What will you have when your kids grow up and move out of the house? What then?”

Tara didn’t answer her, and Pearl left the house, knowing the answer for herself. She hoped her friend wouldn’t wake up one day to regret her decisions. In fifteen years from now, when her kids had grown and moved away, and her husband had left her for a younger version, she might find out that it was too late to pursue her own dreams.

Pearl drove back to Sandy Beach, her mood continuing to spiral downward. She was angry. Not only with how her visit with Tara had gone, but also with how her life had fallen apart. Things had been going so well before the attack.

She swallowed back tears and punched the CD player on, turning it up loud. She sang along to the tunes of her favorite band Electric Flow. Soon the velvety voice of the lead singer Terrence transported her away from her current reality.

No, she didn’t have to think about the events that had caused her injury. Not now. Maybe not ever.