Turn To Me (43 page)

“I’m not pregnant,” I blurted.

Blane glanced at me as he shifted the car into gear.  “Okay.”

“I...I just thought you should know,” I said, my voice faltering.  “Sorry for the scare.”

Blane looked at me again, the intensity of his gaze making my breath catch.  “I was never scared,” he said.

I didn’t know what to say, so remained silent.

He took my hand, holding onto it as he drove.  I noticed we were heading in the opposite direction of my apartment.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“I thought you should stay with me for a while,” Blane said easily.  “Mona can help you until you’re back on your feet.” 

I frowned.  His high-handedness rubbed me the wrong way.  “I'll be fine, Blane,” I said crisply.  “You can take me home.”

He turned to look at me.  “Please, Kat,” he said quietly.  “Come stay with me.”

My heart skipped a beat, his sincere request soothing my irritation.  I nodded, acquiescing.  I wondered where I would sleep, in “my” room...or Blane’s?  Which did I want?

We drove the rest of the way in silence.  The big elephant in the car remained in what was left unsaid.  I didn’t know how to bring up, “So why were you willing to die for me?” without sounding incredibly narcissistic.  And what if he just looked at me and said, “I’m a SEAL.  It’s what I do.”  I would feel idiotic and foolish.

Blane parked in his driveway, helping me out of the car and handing me the crutches.  We made our way slowly up the sidewalk to the front door.  Mona opened the door for us, holding it wide so I could get inside.

“I’m so glad you could come stay!” Mona exclaimed, her smile wide and welcoming.

“Thanks for having me,” I said.  “I hope I’m not too much of an imposition.”

“Not at all,” Mona assured me.  “Tigger has settled in nicely.”  She motioned to the bay window through which the sun was shining.  I could see the marmalade lump of fur curled on the sun dappled carpet proclaiming Tigger’s presence.

“Let’s get you upstairs,” Blane said.  Stepping forward, he swiftly swept me up in his arms, handing the crutches to Mona.

“What are you doing?” I asked, alarmed.  “I need those crutches.”

“No, you don’t,” he said, heading toward the stairs.  “You just need me.”

I was completely at a loss for words, watching his face wordlessly as he climbed the stairs and took me to the bedroom I’d stayed in before, sitting me gently on the bed.

“What’s going on, Blane?” I asked. 

He crouched in front of me so we were at eye level.  “You do know what day it is, don’t you?”

I looked questioningly at him.  I had absolutely no idea what day it was.  The past few days had been a blur.

He smiled widely, the force of it taking my breath away.  “It’s Christmas Eve, Kat,” he said gently.

Christmas Eve.  It didn’t seem possible.

“I know I messed up, making you think I betrayed your trust,” Blane continued, “and I’m sorry.”  His hand moved to cup my cheek.  “When I heard that gunshot, Kat-” He shook his head, as if he couldn’t go on.  His gaze lifted to mine.  “Is it too late?” he asked, his voice pained even as his thumb brushed my cheek.  “Am I too late to put us back together?”

I swallowed heavily.  “I...I don’t know, Blane,” I managed.  “You left me out of your plans.  You didn't tell me what you suspected about Kandi.  You knew I'd think the worst and you let it happen anyway.”  I looked at him.  “I don't think I'm the only one with trust issues.”

My emotions were balanced on a knife’s edge as it was, the stress – physical and emotional – of all that had happened weighing on me.  I loved him, I knew that much, but couldn’t make myself say the words that would bring us back together.  The image of Kade drifted unbidden through my mind.

Blane nodded, his eyes keenly watching me.

“Maybe you're right, Kat.”  Leaning forward, he pressed his lips lightly to mine.  “I’ll earn your trust again,” he whispered lightly.

He stood and I had to clench my hands into fists to not reach for him.

“Do you want a shower?”

Washing the hospital smell off sounded immensely appealing, so I nodded.  “That sounds wonderful.”

Blane disappeared and I heard the sound of the water turn on in the shower.  When he returned, he helped me hobble into the room.

“Turn around,” he said, and I complied.

Blane’s fingers hooked underneath my shirt, dragging it up and over my head.  My breath caught in my throat as he unhooked my bra, the fragile straps sliding down my arms.

“I can do it,” I protested weakly when his fingers moved to the waistband of my pants.

“I know,” came the rough reply before he pushed the cotton down over my hips and legs, taking my panties with it.

My pulse jumped at the feel of his warm breath against my skin, his hands tracing up the backs of my thighs.  The heat of his mouth against the small of my back made the flesh between my thighs ache.

Blane stood, his hands drifting lightly up my sides.  “You’d better get in now,” he growled.

I swallowed hard before stepping into the steaming shower, the hot water sluicing over my skin.  I was glad the hospital had put a waterproof bandage on my thigh.  A shower was much better than a sponge bath.  I didn’t turn around, but I could still feel Blane’s eyes on me.  After a moment, I heard the door close.

I washed as quickly as I could, shampooing and conditioning my hair proving difficult with a broken finger, I scrubbed until I finally felt clean again.  When I turned the water off, the door opened again and Blane stepped inside. 

“Feel better?” he asked, sliding the shower open and holding a fluffy white towel for me.

I nodded even as I tried to ignore the way his eyes drifted over my body.  I stepped forward and he wrapped the towel around me.  Our eyes met, and for a moment, I couldn’t breathe.  His gaze dropped to my mouth and I nervously wet my lips.  Blane’s hands tightened on my hips, tugging me toward him until I could feel his arousal pressing against my abdomen. 

“You're not playing fair,” I breathed.

“I never said I would,” he rasped in my ear, sending a shiver through me. 

Tearing myself away, I hobbled into the bedroom and dried off while Blane got in the shower.  Searching through the bureau, I found some panties and put them on.  In another drawer, I found a white nightgown and slipped it over my head.  I was exhausted and climbed into bed.  I struggled to keep my eyes open, but it was a losing battle and I was asleep before Blane came out of the bathroom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Something woke me.  I lay still, trying to figure out what it was.  Then I realized someone was in the room with me.

Turning, I saw the outline of a man against the curtains.  For a moment, I panicked, before I realized that the outline was a familiar one.

“Kade.”

He moved forward until he stood next to my bed.  I instinctively reached out to grasp his hand.  I hadn’t seen him since the first time I’d woken in the hospital.   

“Didn't mean to wake you, princess,” he said quietly.

“It’s fine,” I replied with a yawn, pushing myself to a sitting position.  I rubbed my eyes and pushed my hair back from my face, struggling to wake up.  “Are you all right?”  Kade seemed to come to me at the oddest moments, and always at night.  I wondered when he slept.

“You’re the one with a gunshot wound and you’re asking me if I’m all right?”  His voice was bitter.

I was glad he was here.  I hadn’t been in the proper frame of mind to thank him when I’d woken in the hospital two nights ago.  If he hadn’t planted that tracking device, I might be dead now.  Scooting over on the bed, I tugged on his hand.  He briefly resisted before perching hesitantly next to me.

The light filtering in between the blinds covering the window was enough for me to see his face.  His brow was creased, his lips tilted downward as he studied me. 

“Thank you,” I said, “for coming after me.”

“We were nearly too late.”

“I’m fine, Kade,” I said, giving him a small smile.  I felt stronger, even after the horrifying experience.  “I’ll heal.  I survived.”

His expression didn’t ease.  If anything, it became more forbidding.  “He died too quick after what he did to you.”

I tried to speak, but he pressed a finger against my lips and I remained silent.

His eyes drifted over me and a wry smile twisted his lips.  His finger brushed over my lower lip, dropping until his hand curled around the back of my neck underneath my hair.  “You even look like a princess,” he mused.  “White gown, blonde hair tumbling over your shoulders, blue eyes so wide and innocent.  All you need is a knight in shining armor to come to your rescue.”

“You came to my rescue, Kade.”

A grimace of pain passed over his features.  “Blane’s the white knight.  Not me.”

My heart went out to him.  He couldn't see himself the way I saw him – strong, brave, loyal, trustworthy.  As noble as Blane, though I was sure Kade would disagree.  “Sometimes knights wear black,” I said quietly.  Our eye caught and held, then my leg gave a twinge and I winced.

“What?  What’s wrong?”

I shook my head.  “It’s nothing.  Probably just time for another pain pill.”

In a moment, Kade was gone and then back with a glass of water.  I took it as he opened a nearby bottle and gave me a pill.  I swallowed and handed him the glass which he set on the bedside table.  He rose to go.

“Wait,” I said, catching his sleeve.  “Where are you going?  Are you going to your place?”

He nodded and I breathed in relief.  He wouldn’t be far then.  I didn’t examine why that was important to me.

“Do you mind,” I began tentatively, “I mean, if it’s not too much trouble-”

“What do you need?” he asked.  “Are you still in pain?”

“No,” I hesitated.  “I just...don’t want to be alone.”  I could feel my face flush and was glad for the darkness.  “It’s...dark.”  He didn’t say anything, so I blundered on.  “Just until I fall asleep.  Then you can leave.”  The thought of being alone in the dark made me fearful in a way I hadn’t felt since I was small and the dark held the boogeyman and monsters under the bed.  A real life monster had tried to kill me, had planned to in a tortuous, gruesome fashion.  During the day, I could shove it to the back of my mind and not think about it, but the night was difficult.

Without a word, Kade rounded the bed and lay down next to me on top of the covers.  Relieved, I snuggled down under the quilt, turning on my side and scooting as close to him as I dared.  He made me feel safe, protected.  Nothing would get by Kade, not even my nightmares.  My whole body relaxed.

After a few minutes of silence, he spoke, his voice quiet.  “Kathleen.”

“Yes?” I replied, my voice as soft as his.

“How did you get out of that cellar?”

I stiffened, the memory of Bowers’ dead body engulfing me.  The smell, the sound it made as it scraped across the floor, his sightless eye and empty socket staring at me as I climbed to his shoulders.

“I used Brian’s body as a ladder,” I whispered, the horror of it making tears leak from my eyes.

Kade must have heard the regret in my voice, for I felt his arms encircle me and pull me close.  “Shh,” he said, smoothing my hair in a comforting gesture.  “You did what you had to do.  He wouldn’t have wanted you to die there, too.”

His acceptance of what I’d done felt like forgiveness.  I wasn’t a monster to have done that to Brian.

“Those men didn’t deserve any of this,” I said quietly.

“Nope,” Kade replied with a tired sigh.  “They were just pawns.  Bowers and Freeman were threatened into changing their testimony, then killed by a fanatic looking for revenge.”

“And Stacey,” I added sadly, “caught up in it just because of who she loved.”

It was only after that sentence left my mouth that I realized the irony of my saying those words.  After all, if it hadn’t been for Blane, I wouldn’t have got caught up in this either.

We lay like that for a long while, Kade absently stroking my hair.  I could hear his heart beat and feel the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed.

The grandfather clock downstairs tolled the hour.  I counted twelve.  Midnight.  It was Christmas Day.

“Merry Christmas, Kade,” I said softly.

“Merry Christmas, Kathleen.”

Chapter Sixteen

I woke to a room only dimly lit by weak sunlight.  It was early.  I rubbed my eyes, sensing another person in the room with me.

“Kade?”  I blinked, then jerked in surprise when Blane stepped into view.

“It’s me,” he said quietly, and I had to look away from his penetrating gaze, my cheeks flushing.

My first thought was that Kade must no longer be in bed with me, because there was no way Blane would be just standing there like that if he was.  I surreptitiously felt behind me with my hand, and indeed, the space in the bed was empty.

“Come with me,” Blane said.  “I have a surprise for you.”

I sat up, glancing at the bedside clock to see it wasn’t yet six am.  “Okay,” I replied.  “Just give me a minute.”

I hobbled my way into the bathroom to put myself together as quickly as I could.  I dragged on a pair of black yoga pants and a long, deep cranberry sweater that was soft to the touch.

“Let me help you,” Blane said as I sat on the bed, struggling to pull on a pair of boots.  My stitches pulled when I bent my leg too sharply and I watched in relief as Blane knelt at my feet.  A few minutes later, he was bundling me into a coat and taking me by the hand to his SUV idling outside.

It had snowed again overnight and our feet crunched through the thick blanket of snow and ice.  I wondered where in the world he was taking me at this hour of the day, and on Christmas.

As we settled into the car, Blane handed me a steaming travel mug.  I smelled coffee, the rich aroma teasing my nostrils.

“Thank you,” I said, sipping at the brew.

“It was completely self-serving,” he said dryly. 

I laughed lightly.  “Regardless, I appreciate it.”

That seemed to break the ice between us.  Blane drove faster than most people would in this weather, but his reflexes and skills were much better as well.  We slid and Blane caught the wheel, easily turning into the skid and regaining a grip on the pavement.