Part of me wanted to remain defiant, to be the one in control, but my voice didn't seem to care. I found myself uttering the words. "Kiss me, Josh."
He needed no further enticement. His lips crushed down on mine with an urgency that matched my own. Obviously he wanted it as badly as I had. His lips were rough but tender at the same time. They pressed against mine firm and unyielding for a moment before becoming a soft caress. Every nerve in my body, from my head to my toes, felt completely charged. Any doubts I had about whether kissing Josh would be different had been completely squashed.
After a moment he pulled away. I had to knot my hand at my side to fight the urge to draw him back for another round.
"See, we're already one step closer to knowing each other," he said, placing his lips briefly back on mine. They were gone before I could sink into the kiss, and I found myself missing their softness instantly.
I took a step back to gather my bearings. The way he had me feeling, things could escalate in the blink of an eye.
We didn't say much on the drive back to my house. I hugged the passenger side door, trying to maintain a little distance between us even though I was acutely aware of his hand on the seat, taunting me to reach for it.
Butch and Buttercup sat on the front porch, drinking one of their jugs of homemade wine when we pulled up. Even as late as it was, I shouldn't have been surprised. They had just met Josh that day.
"Your parents are cool," Josh commented as they enthusiastically waved at us.
"Oh please. We already discussed this. It's okay if you think they're weird," I said, beating him to any slam he might be aiming their way. Call it a defense mechanism.
"You shouldn't be so hard on them. Some of us would give an arm to have parents who obviously care so much. "
His words were like a quick jab to the gut.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Nothing. I'm just saying they're cooler than you think. I'll see you tomorrow."
I wanted to say more, but his jaw was set and his eyes were focused straight ahead. I shook my head, climbing from his truck. This hot-and-cold thing was enough to give me whiplash.
***
The following morning I felt even more in the dark than ever. Would Josh acknowledge our kiss? Would he still be annoyed like he seemed to be when he dropped me off? Maybe he would do neither and just keep things professional in front of the others at work. I had no idea what to expect and suddenly had butterflies in my stomach as Butch drove me to the patrol station. Much to my surprise, Josh greeted me in the one way I hadn't considered. He was practically jumping with excitement when I arrived.
"We're hanging out at the station today. The storm has built up to a category one hurricane and may get stronger as it reaches shore, so all hands are going to be needed to fill sandbags," he said, smiling.
"Wow, really?" I asked as we headed around back. "Shouldn't we be evacuating?" The only hurricane I knew anything about was Katrina, and it practically destroyed New Orleans. If that was what we were in for here, Turtle Bay would be in for some serious trouble.
"We'll probably see an announcement for the evacuation of low-lying areas. It all depends what course the storm stays on. At the moment, the models are showing it barely kissing the coast before heading north."
"That's good, right?" I asked, wondering why the need for sandbags if the storm was going to head north.
"Well, the outer bands of the storm still produce high winds, but more importantly, a ton of rain and big waves. There will probably be some flooding in low-lying areas, which is why they'll evacuate there. Your house will be fine since it sits a little higher. You might get flooding in the backyard, depending on your drainage," he said, opening the back door of the building for me.
He sounded as knowledgeable as the weather people on TV. I guess if you lived here long enough you became an expert on tropical storms and hurricanes.
"Holy smokes, that's one big pile of dirt," I whistled as we stepped outside. We could set the record and build the world's biggest sand castle with the amount of sand that sat behind the patrol building.
"That's nothing. By this time tomorrow we'll get at least three more truckloads. All the residents in Turtle Bay will be coming here for these sandbags," he said, handing me a small burlap sack.
I held on to it while he grabbed one of the shovels leaning against the wall. "Um, I'm not trying to sound dense, but why don't they just use all that sand?" I asked, pointing toward the beach.
Josh shook his head. "That would be the worst thing ever and counterproductive. It would cause beach erosion, which would cause all kinds of other problems. Not to mention the impact it would have on the wildlife."
"Sorry," I mumbled.
"Hey, don't be sorry. How are you supposed to know if you don't ask, right? I just get overzealous with my responses." He moved to the other side of the large mound of sand, away from the other guys, to give us more privacy.
I held the bag open as he dumped a shovelful of sand into the bag. "Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure."
"Why do you care so much? You're what, seventeen years old? Shouldn't you be thinking about other things? Why all this?"
He shrugged. I waited for a real answer as he plunged the shovel into the pile of sand and lifted it to dump into the bag. When he didn't answer, I pulled away, closing the bag in my hands so he would get the hint.
"If we're going to get to know each other, you're going to have to start trusting me."
He sighed. "This is all I have," he said, plucking the bag out of my hand so he could dump the sand into it.
"What do you mean?" I asked. He had said something similar on another occasion and I didn't press him then, but if we were going to turn into something, I wanted him to open up a little.
"I mean this—the ocean, this station, all the wildlife. They're always here for me. The beach is the closest thing I have to a home. The guys at the station are the only family I really have since my mom left." His tone was resolute, but I could detect all the pain behind Josh's facade.
"What about your dad?"
"My dad?" He laughed harshly, making my gut twist. "He's fine when he's not drunk off his ass. The only problem is since my mom left those moments don't come around very often. He works, drinks, and sleeps, in that order," Josh said quietly. He could have been reading the newspaper with the amount of emotion in his voice. It was like he had accepted his home life for the way it was and no longer cared. So much about Josh made sense now, especially his passion for his work and the environment.
"That sucks," I said. I had pushed him to open up a little and now I felt like anything I could offer in the form of comfort would be insufficient.
"It is what it is. Lots of people have crummy lives. No sense in crying about it."
"Doesn't mean it still doesn't suck," I said, reaching out to touch his hand.
He gave my hand a squeeze before handing the bag back to me. "It's not all bad. At least I met you."
I snorted. "It's not like I'm any prize. I was fraternizing with the enemy."
"That's true." He winked.
We worked for a few hours and then took a break to grab a couple sub sandwiches for lunch. Everyone at the patrol office who could be spared was working with us to fill bags. It felt more like a party than actual work the way the guys joked around taking bets to see who could fill up the bags the fastest or who could carry the most. Even though I was still a little worried about the idea of a hurricane hitting Turtle Bay, it was easy to push it to the back of my mind with this crew.
Josh and I stayed together the entire time and we made a darn good team, if I had to say so myself. I'd hold the bags open while he filled them and then I would tie them up and he would add them to the pile. We were like a machine. Some of the locals were already showing up to collect them, so we wanted to stay ahead of the game. One thing was certain, nonjudgmental Josh was a whole lot easier to chat with than the guy who narced on the party. He actually had a dry sense of humor that matched mine. We talked the entire time we worked. Now that I had gotten a look at what lay beneath his tough exterior, I was curious to learn more about him. Luckily, he didn't seem to mind my endless barrage of questions. We stayed so busy filling bags and talking that I lost track of time and forgot about Butch picking me up.
"Hey, what time is it?" I asked when the thought finally occurred to me.
"I'm not sure. Like, four o'clock, I think."
"I forgot Butch was picking me up at three thirty," I said. "He's probably out front waiting."
"Actually, he's right over there," Josh said, pointing to the other side of the building where Butch was helping Larry fill bags. I wasn't surprised he was helping out. Butch thrived in situations like this.
I waved to them when I caught Butch's attention. He grinned while Larry flashed me his famous hang loose hand gesture. Turtle Bay was definitely the town for Butch.
The afternoon melted away as we all continued working until well after six. My arms felt like cooked spaghetti as I massaged my sore shoulders while Josh collected our tools and supplies. When he was done he filled out my community service worksheet, which felt odd. Sure, I was tired, but today felt more like a party than actual work. I couldn't remember the last time I'd had so much fun.
"I'll see you tomorrow," he said, handing the sheet back to me. He looked like he wanted to say more, but must have changed his mind because he gave me an odd little wave before heading for his truck. I had been expecting that. I mean, could he really kiss me in front of everyone without it turning awkward? Obviously not.
Waving wearily at Larry, Butch and I shuffled off to the van, too exhausted to do anything else. Buttercup had dinner warming on the stove when we got home, but we both headed off to shower first. I grimaced when I held up my sand-covered clothes that I had painstakingly picked out. Tomorrow I would go back to cutoffs and an old T-shirt.
As Butch and I ate, we filled Buttercup in on all the activity happening at the patrol station. She had been watching the news updates on the storm throughout the day. We were finishing up when Farrah showed up to see if I wanted to hang out.
"Sure, but we'll have to just veg. I'm beat," I said, heading for my room.
"You look rough. Who knew cleaning up trash was that hard," she teased.
I sank on my bed and tossed a pillow at her. "Very funny. I spent the day filling sandbags for the storm."
"Oh, right. Dad had a whole crew out weathering the house in case the storm hits. My parents already reserved us a hotel room inland for this weekend. I don't know why they don't just ride it out. All the models show it barely even making landfall before heading north. I think my mom likes the melodrama of the whole thing. She calls all my relatives up north and they watch the TV together, obsessively bemoaning Mother Nature."
"Josh thinks it might cause some flooding," I said, petting Player on the head as he settled on my lap.
"Josh?" Farrah asked curiously, clutching the pillow I'd thrown to her chest.
"I'm not sure if you know him. Evan did. He works down at the station where I'm doing my community service," I answered, not mentioning he was the reason we had gotten busted. No reason to ruffle any feathers.
"You mean lifeguard Josh?" she asked.
"Yeah," I admitted hesitantly. "I guess you do know him?"
"Not really. I mean, I know of him from whenever he and Evan would give each other shit, but I never really met him. Judging by the goofy smile on your face, I'm guessing he kisses better than Evan," she teased, running her hand over my comforter so Player would chase it.
A total girly giggle tickled up my throat. "You could say that." There really was no comparison for me. I didn't feel it with Evan. Josh, on the other hand, made my toes curl.
"You trampy beach bunny. I want deets," she demanded.
Her choice words made me burst out in laughter. I launched into a detailed description of my somewhat complicated relationship with Josh. Farrah was a great listener and let me get it all before adding her two cents.
"Wow, this guy sounds hot. Let's hope he has a friend," she joked, rubbing her hands together with glee.
I sighed. "He is hot, but he's good at tying me all up inside."
"Wow, kinky," she said.
"Don't be a perv," I said, tossing a stuffed animal at her. "He makes my insides all twisty and out of sorts."
She smirked at me. "You say that like it's a bad thing."
My laugh turned into a yawn. The day's activities were catching up to me.
"I should head home," Farrah said. "You think maybe I could go with you tomorrow?"
"Sure, I don't see why not," I said, surprised. "There were other volunteers there today. I'm sure they'd appreciate any help they can get. We have to leave early though, before nine," I warned.
"That's fine. I want to help out. It hardly seems fair that you didn't do anything and you're stuck doing all the work."
I smiled, appreciating her sentiment. "Don't sweat it. It's not like I was some angel back home. I've gotten into my share of trouble, which is why the judge stuck it to me. Besides, it's not all that bad."