Twelve Days - The Beginning (30 page)

Vaughn.

By the time Elise got to the end of the e-mail, the words had become blurry through the tears running down her cheeks. Never before had anyone sent her anything so heartfelt and beautiful and it touched her right down to her core. She had been the one to push him away on Friday with her harsh words but still here
he
was apologising for needing some space. She had blamed him for everything going wrong in her life, which was completely unfair. She
had been awful to him and he had gone and bought her presents. The reality of how much this man had put himself on the line for her over the last few days began to sink in and she sobbed even louder, no longer caring that her life was continuing to play out in full view of the office.

To her right, she heard Stephen pick up the phone and speak into it and suddenly she was engulfed in a pair of arms – arms that felt so good, like coming home - and she clung onto Cole for dear life as he steered her to one of the small meeting rooms, sitting her down and locking the door behind him.

Cole pulled up a chair adjacent to her and pulled her tight into his side, allowing her to cry, whilst silently holding her and comforting her as he had done so many times before. Eventually she cleared her throat and began to talk; letting all of the frustration and confusion of the last few days out to the only person in the world she trusted with all her heart.

“What the hell have I done, Cole? I have made such a bloody mess of everything. I was mad at Vaughn, I was horrible to him and he left. I thought that was it – who would want to get involved with me anyway? I didn’t speak to him again and then that bitch Olivia told me she was waiting for him so I thought he was with her this weekend. Shit, maybe he was. But then Dale - he was weird this weekend - good weird - and we had a weekend like the old days. It threw me totally and my brain was so messed up with Vaughn and Olivia and I didn’t know what the hell was going on. I let Dale make love to me, Cole, and I hated every moment but I also knew it was right, knew it was how it should be. But the whole time, the whole time I was thinking of Vaughn and how I felt that I had betrayed him. I told Vaughn that I wouldn’t sleep with Dale but I thought that he was with Olivia and that that made it OK. But now I’ve just opened this e-mail Cole, a beautiful, wonderful e-mail and he has bought me presents and I just don’t know what the hell is going on anymore. I don’t know who I am betraying with who and all I know is that I have feelings for Vaughn yet I slept with Dale. My marriage is over but how can I tell Vaughn that I slept with Dale willingly and what if he has been with Olivia? Where does that leave me? Us? Christ, this is all such a mess.”

“Sshh... Elise, it’s OK. It’ll all be OK, I promise.” Cole murmured soothingly as he rubbed her back in endless circles. “It feels bad now but I’m sure it can all be sorted out.”

“But how? How can this be sorted out? I want to be with Vaughn, more than I have ever wanted anything in my life but I can’t pretend that I didn’t betray his trust. I told him I wouldn’t sleep with Dale and I did. It happened and I can’t lie to him Cole, I will not build my future on lies. And for all that I know, he has spent the whole weekend with bloody Olivia anyway. Shit. This is so messed up.”

Cole was prevented from replying by a discreet knock at the door. Getting up to unlock it, he opened the door to reveal Stephen who entered carrying two small but beautifully wrapped parcels.

“I got these out of your drawer.” He said, handing them to Elise. “Vaughn told me he had put them there and he wanted me to make sure you got them. I know that now might not be the time but I thought maybe you should open them; perhaps it might help.” He shrugged and then patted Cole on the back before heading out the door.

“Thanks, mate,” he said to Cole, “you are so much better at this shit than me!”

Cole laughed and then locked the door again as Stephen went back to the office.

“Baby...you really need to stop doing this to yourself, you know.” Cole said as he returned to where Elise was sat and hunkered down in front of her. “Maybe you should just be on your own for a while? If you’ve decided to leave Dale then that is going to take all of your energy so perhaps you should just try to forget about Vaughn for a while. Let him make his own mistakes with Olivia, if that is what he is doing, and then when you’re all sorted out, maybe you two can get things back on track.”

Elise listened and looked down at her best friend, thinking how much easier things would be if he was the man she had fallen in love with. His advice made sense, and the rational part of her brain registered that she needed to take a step back from everything and just concentrate on one thing at a time. The problem was that Vaughn was in her heart now and she was being stabbed with jealousy at the thought of him being with anyone else – especially Olivia. She couldn’t stand back and let that happen – no way in the world would she do that. Perhaps she could forgive him for this weekend if he had been with Olivia but then, if he had, how could she ever trust him again? She would be right back to where she started.

Elise looked down at Cole and grabbed onto his hands. “I love him, Cole,” she said simply, “I don’t think I
can
let him go.”

“But maybe you’re going to have to. As difficult as that is going to be, you have to think about everything else as well. I mean, if you leave Dale, where are you going to live? Have you thought about that? Then there is the whole issue of a divorce - what are you going to do about that? Are you going to go for separation or straight for divorce for unreasonable behaviour? If you do that, then the whole sordid truth will come out and that will have a direct impact on Vaughn and anyone else that’s in your life. You also don’t know how Dale will react – what’s to say he’ll just let you go? He might decide that the relationship isn’t over for him and make it very difficult for you to move on. You need to think about all of these things, Elise, and you can’t do that when you’re worrying about someone else that you may or may not be in love with.”

“I
am
in love with him Cole.” She said fervently, “There
are
no ifs, buts or maybe’s. I’ve never felt like this, not even in the early days with Dale. I know it’s sudden but I know that it’s the real thing.”

“Okay, Elise,” Cole said calmly, “I understand that you say you are in love with him and I understand that you want to be with him but don’t you see – you have to think about everything else too. You can’t just expect to pick up with someone totally new without sorting out all the other things first. I would be the first person to help you leave Dale, you know that and you know I’ve wanted you to leave him for a long time but you can’t just pin all your hopes on someone who you’ve only just met, of whose feelings you are unsure and who you don’t even totally trust. For heaven’s sake, Elise, you’re not even sure he’s being ‘faithful’ to you!”

“I know Cole, I know. That’s why it’s all so bloody hopeless!”

She huffed out a sigh and put her head in her hands; this was all so completely messed up it was almost laughable. She wished that Vaughn was here now so that she could ask him about the weekend. She would know if he was lying. That way she could decide if they had a future and whilst that wasn’t relevant to what was going on with Dale, she would at least have one of her ducks in a row and then she could hope that the rest would follow.

But he wasn’t here and she had no way of contacting him. Suddenly she remembered the presents that she had set on the table after Stephen had given them to her. Maybe like he said, it would help to open those.

She went to pick up the smaller of the two packages but was stopped by Cole’s hand on her arm.

“Are you sure you want to do this, Elise? You’re messed up enough as it is – these may make things a whole lot worse.”

“They might do but they might make it better. Either way, I don’t want to die wondering and as things can’t get any more messed up. I may as well just open them and see which way the dice roll.” She reached forward and picked up the first package.

“Do you want me to stay, babe?” Cole asked and she nodded at him. Whatever these packages contained, she and Cole had no secrets. Also she couldn’t guarantee that she wouldn’t end up having another blubber fest.

The first parcel was really small and soft and Elise couldn’t even begin to imagine what it would be. Slowly she opened one end and then the other before finally slipping her finger under the tape in the middle. As she pulled the wrapping apart, a folded piece of paper fell out and she opened it to reveal the note that Vaughn had referred to in his e-mail. It was hand written, the letters bold and strong.

These are for Christmas Day
.

Remember what I said at the hotel
.

Pretend you are with me
.

I will be with you
.

I need to know that you are with me too
.

Elise swallowed and slowly opened the package to reveal the most exquisite pair of black, sheer silk stockings; intricately embroidered lace curved around the elasticated tops, and they were gossamer-soft. So delicate, so beautiful and so totally perfect.

To anyone else these were just stockings but to her they were everything. Vaughn had told her only to ever wear them for him and now he had bought these for her to wear on Christmas Day. They wouldn’t be together but by asking her to wear these, he was ensuring that they would be in each other’s thoughts. He was trusting her to carry out his wishes and wear these; he would be imagining her wearing them, what she looked like, how they made her feel, perhaps imagining himself removing them - and that was unbelievably erotic. She felt the
beginnings of arousal as she ran her fingers over the delicate lace and she knew without a shadow of a doubt that she would be wearing these for him. She wanted to put them on right now and never take them off.

A slight cough made her look up and for the first time she remembered that Cole was still in the room, his gaze caught by the object that she had just opened.

“Erm, Elise – can I just say that I have no idea what the significance of that present is but watching you caress them and imagining them on your beautiful legs is kind of having an effect. Perhaps we could move onto the second present now?”

Laughing, she shot a look down at his crotch, grinning mischievously when she noted the beginning of his arousal.

Hastily, Cole crossed his legs. “Blatantly looking at it, young lady, is only going to make it worse.” He admonished, “I strongly suggest we move onto the second present before I completely embarrass myself!”

Still giggling, she reached for the second package; secretly loving that she had this effect on Cole and knowing that it would never go anywhere. There had been times when he had seriously affected her too and she guessed there would always been this undertone of attraction between them. She wondered if he had come to any further conclusions following his revelation but decided that now wasn’t the time to ask him. Perhaps after Christmas they could have a good heart to heart and maybe she would be the one doling out the advice for a change.

The second present was larger, also beautifully wrapped and solid. Intrigued, Elise slowly opened it and peeled away the packaging, only to be confronted by a plain white box. Turning it around she found a small sticky tab which was holding the box together, and slipped her fingernail underneath it to open it. Gently, she eased the tab out and opened the flap of the box, lifting it clear so that she could examine the contents. Instantly, she sucked in a breath as she recognised the object in the box – it was the latest smart phone that they had all been chatting about over dinner at the hotel. On top of the phone was another folded note which she removed and opened out to read.

This is for us. I have programmed my number into it and I have yours
.

The bill is all taken care of
.

I don’t expect you to call me and I will obviously not call you
.

But I just want to know that we can reach each other
.

Whenever, wherever
.

Merry Christmas my beautiful angel
.

Tears pricking at her eyes, Elise removed the phone from the box and powered it up as Cole looked across and whistled.

“Whew! That’s some serious phone hardware there. He’s got taste, I’ll give him that.”

Elise looked at the phone in awe; she had never had anything so high tech before and she wasn’t even convinced she would know how to use it. Checking out the rest of the box, she found the charger unit and various connecting leads along with a stunning lime green diamante cover for the phone – her favourite colour – she had no idea how he knew that.

The phone began to chirp and she hastily looked at the screen, pleased to see that it was displaying a text message with a ‘click here to view’ button so she didn’t have to work out how to read it.

Opening the message she saw that it was from Vaughn. The message was timed first thing that morning so he must have sent it before he headed off to his sister’s house. It was short and to the point:-

Just checking. Text me back if you can. I miss you. x x

Helplessly she looked over at Cole who was busily reading the instruction manual and almost salivating over the various features and apps. She showed him the text message.

“Any idea on how I reply?” she asked.

Cole shook his head at her mystified. “You really don’t do technology, do you?”

“Shut up. I can’t help that I’m a sweet and innocent that’s lead a sheltered life.”

“Ha ha – as if, Elise Grayson. Give it here – let me have a look.”

Elise handed the phone over to Cole and took a moment to consider the gifts that Vaughn had given her. Polar opposites of each other but equally symbolic in their own way and both allowed the two of them to have some form of contact with each other whilst they were apart. No one had ever given her anything so beautiful and she found herself falling deeper and deeper into this man. Apart from what Olivia had said, he had given her no reason to doubt his intentions towards her - to the contrary in fact. She just hoped that Olivia had been lying; otherwise she really didn’t know how she was going to recover from this one.