Twelve Truths and a Lie (11 page)

W
e met
for lunch and everything already felt different. Aurora seemed very reserved, making little eye contact, as if she had withdrawn inside of herself. Obviously she regretted what had happened last night and fuck, that really hurt because I had loved every minute of it.

How her lips had been swollen from my kisses, her breath heavy and warm. How the skin on her chest and neck flushed when I made her come. I got hard this morning just thinking about it.

No way was I going to let her get away with not talking to me, though. We were friends, first and foremost. Something neither of us had banked on. But I, for one, was grateful that she had come into my life at a time when I needed somebody so calming and levelheaded and fun.

“You seem distracted.” My heart hammered as she poured sugar packets in her iced tea. “Or maybe you’re just avoiding me.”

“No.” She finally looked at me, placing her spoon beside her glass. “I’m not…I’m just…I’ve got some things on my mind.”

I decided to zero right in on the topic and get this conversation over with. “Maybe you regret what happened last night but I—”

“I don’t regret it,” she said, her cheeks tinting pink. “It’s just…it probably didn’t happen at the right time.”

“Because of your sabbatical?” I asked, sagging in my seat. “From dating?”

“Partly,” she said, gnawing on her lip. She was definitely concerned about something. Something she wasn’t sharing with me. “But also because you’re here in the same town with your ex, and the pain in your eyes when you saw the two of them last night…you’re probably…”

“You think because of my hurt feelings about Dessa and what we did in my room last night, I got confused and tangled all those emotions into one?” I asked as she kept her gaze fixed on the tablecloth. “You’d be wrong.”

Her eyes snapped to mine. Her mouth flew open, but she couldn’t get any words out. So I filled in some blanks for her.

“Sure you came here as a favor and as a good friend,” I said, stabbing my finger at the table to make my point. “But the honest to God truth is that I really enjoy your company. And yeah, I think you’re sexy and gorgeous, and I wanted to kiss you. Hell, I want to kiss you again.”

She gasped, her eyes widening, her fingers trembling on her glass of tea.

“But I’m not trying to date you,” I said nonchalantly, but my stomach was in turmoil.

She dipped her head before I could see how stormy her eyes turned at my statement. She was affected by me, by what happened between us, whether she wanted to admit it or not.

“Isn’t that what you want to hear?” I asked, shaking my head, wholly confused by her behavior today. She was normally more truthful with me than this. “You’re trying not to get involved with anybody, right?”

She blinked repeatedly. Had I said the wrong thing?

“And you’re trying not to have sex with anybody after what almost happened with that girl,” she replied after what felt like a full minute. “And I don’t want to have sex with you.”

Well, okay, that stung. My fingers turned into a fist beneath the table.

“Got it,” I said, trying not to sound offended. “So then we’re clear. We made out and touched each other and it was…fuck, it was hot, but we aren’t trying to do anything further. No sex and no relationship.”

She nodded in agreement. There was definitely something else on her mind, I could see it plainly in her eyes.

I tapped my hand to hers. “Did something else happen?”

“What do you mean?” she asked, rearranging the saltshaker, not meeting my eyes.

“Something you’re not telling me,” I said, and her eyes latched onto mine. “I can see it; you’re stewing on something.”

“I got a phone call from a friend,” she said, motioning to her cell. “She was upset about something, and I’m just thinking about her.”

“Anything you can share?” I asked after taking a giant sip of soda. I was still beat from staying up practically all night. But it was worth it. I wanted to give her my undivided attention.

She bit her lip. “Not right now.”

“Fair enough,” I said. “Well, the dinner dance starts in about four hours. Do you want to be alone? I was going to ride around and visit some parts of downtown since I haven’t been here in years. I can call you later when I—”

“No, I’d like to come with you, if that’s okay.” My chest loosened. She wasn’t going to avoid me for the remainder of this trip.

We spent the rest of the day riding around, the windows partially unrolled on this unusually warm day, the radio turned up. I avoided interlacing our fingers together, though I wanted to after how intimate we’d been last night.

Never had I spent so many hours simply kissing somebody, but I couldn’t get the scent of her out of my head. Her skin smelled of sunshine and summer, which matched the bright light that glowed inside of her, though she was a little dimmer today.

I pointed out my high school and the house where I grew up, and she seemed genuinely interested in the details of my childhood.

We were also equally as comfortable in our silence and I could tell, outside of Aurora fielding a couple of text messages that caused her face to fall, she was enjoying herself. A couple of times, it appeared like she might want to share her pain with me, too, and I wished she would, but then she’d bite her tongue.

We parked the car and walked around this scenic park and climbed up a few hills, enjoying the early burst of spring.

“Not exactly wearing the right shoes,” she said laughing, and I offered her my hand.

She hesitated before taking it, and I helped her scale the incline without slipping any further. She didn’t release my hand like I thought she would, and it wasn’t until we progressed to the ridge of the overlook that she finally let go. “This view is pretty.”

“Agree,” I said, standing behind her, which was the only open spot given the families and couples packed in the tight space to check out the sight.

When I felt her shiver, I couldn’t help inching nearer, our bodies connecting as she rested her elbows against the wooden ledge. We had an audience so I whispered in her ear. “Aurora.”

My hands slid around her waist and she sighed, shifting in order to prop her weight against me. She wanted this closeness as much as I did.

“We shouldn’t,” she angled her head and whispered back to me.

“I know.” My lips trailed to the smooth skin on her neck, and she shuddered. “But it’s hard not to want to kiss you again.”

I adjusted my hips so she didn’t feel my hardness and what she did to me. The urge to taste her lips and tongue was overwhelming.

Just as she angled her head to say something else, I was tapped on the shoulder. “Will you take our photo?”

“Of course.” Aurora stepped out of my embrace and turned to the family of three, snapping a few pictures for them.

“We’d be happy to take your photo as well,” the lady said, as her husband and child found a spot along the ledge.

“Um, okay,” Aurora replied warily as she passed the woman her phone.

We posed side by side in front of the scenic view. I placed my arm around her and she melded into my side, wrapping her arms around my waist. I couldn’t help wondering how we looked as a couple.

Damn, she was embedding herself even further beneath my skin.

I
never expected
to be so completely jumbled up this weekend. But at least Cameron and I got some things straight at lunch. And now as I slid into my dress and heels to meet him downstairs, I couldn’t help feel that same pull toward him that I had all along.

But there was nothing wrong with establishing a solid base of friendship. We could be there for each other and learn some things about ourselves along the way. As long as the rest of it didn’t interfere.

I stared at myself in the mirror, figuring I looked pretty darn decent with my body-skimming blue dress and black pumps. The blue brought out my eyes and offset my red hair, which I decided to leave down after fussing too long with a messy bun.

When I stepped off the elevator, I spotted Cameron waiting at the front door in his suit. And gosh, he took my breath away. His eyes locked on mine and held. I nearly tripped over my own two feet. I admired how the black silky material filled out his broad shoulders and how he’d decided to slick his hair away from his forehead.

“Wow,” he said when I walked up, as he looked me up and down, his jaw hanging open. “You look stunning. Like a fiery sunset. Or…the Northern Lights.”

My heart clanged against my ribcage. “Well, I
am
named after the Aurora Borealis. Apparently my mother was obsessed after an Alaskan cruise with my aunt.”

“Holy shit,” Cameron replied looking dumbstruck.

I could feel my face heating up as we walked out to the car. Just another one of my mother’s impulsive decisions. Though I’d grown to appreciate my unique name over the years.

“For the record, you clean up pretty nice yourself,” I said, as we buckled ourselves in and then drove to the party center. I saw him grin in my side view.

We needed to find Cameron’s name and table number from these little cards located at a display in the lobby. The place was decorated to the hilt in the school’s alma mater colors, black and gold. As soon as we sat down, I easily spotted Dessa and Mike at another table across the room. And so did Cameron by the way his knee froze temporarily against mine beneath the table.

Dessa may have said at one point that she was over Cameron, but the way she stared at him now made me question whether she truly was. He was undoubtedly a good-looking man, and maybe she had a few regrets along the way.

I didn’t think that Cameron would ever take Dessa back, but I was sure he had some left over feelings of his own to work through. That was why the sabbatical we were both taking this year for a little self-discovery was the right thing to do.

“Do you see them over there?” I leaned over and asked Cameron as we were served our salad plates. He was involved in some introductions around the table with old classmates.

“I do,” he said, as if he couldn’t not notice how stunning Dessa looked in her black silk dress. “Too bad they’re not at a table behind us so that I don’t have a clear shot.”

“Say what you will,” I said, after a bite of lettuce. “But she is still working through her feelings about you.”

“Why do you say that?” Cameron’s drink had stopped midair. He hadn’t been expecting that little revelation.

“I think she might have misgivings,” I said, enjoying the fresh dressing that had been drizzled over my salad by spiking another bite with my fork. “Which means she knows she fucked up royally with you. And maybe as a human being, in general.”

“I don’t want to think of her that way—with compassion,” he said, shaking his head. “I’d rather keep my thoughts on the angry side.”

“I understand that,” I said, crunching on a carrot. “But that might not help you heal.”

“Okay, Miss Therapist, enlighten me,” he said with no malice. That was another thing I liked so much about him. He was open to self-examination.

In fact, I was no longer worried about his dependency on alcohol and that brought me great relief. We had been in too many social situations by this point to not have observed him overindulging on at least one occasion. He was turning himself around one hurdle at a time it seemed.

“What I mean is that you might consider looking at the situation with your ex in a different way.” I took a couple of sips of my wine. Cameron had yet to touch his beer. “Scrutinize the face value of your relationship and what went wrong. Would you really have lasted anyway?”

“Not for a minute do I think we would’ve lasted,” he said, darting a glance toward her table. “Her values were different than mine. Obviously.”

“So in that regard, even if she didn’t cheat with your friend,” I said, using air quotes on the word
friend
, “your relationship would’ve ended eventually. And nevertheless, you’d still be hurt.”

“Not this kind of hurt,” he said, crunching away on a cucumber.

“True. But still
hurt
,” I said. “Pain is pain, some deeper than others, but it all still burns.”

He brushed some hair away from my shoulder, and I tried not to lean into his touch. “You’re good at this, you know that?”

I shrugged, smiling. “Except when it comes to my own life.”

“Always how it is,” he said, sighing. “I can teach it in my classroom but not apply it in my own day to day.”

I laughed. “Well, it’s kind of like doing parent training in my family sessions but not having any kids to speak of.”

He grinned over the server’s head. They were removing the salad plates and delivering the main course, which consisted of chicken, mashed potatoes, and green beans.

“There’s a kid in your classroom that sees me for counseling,” I said, after taking a bite of my chicken and chewing slowly.

“You’re kidding,” he replied raking his fork through his mashed potatoes. I almost made fun of him and asked if he played choo choo with his food as a child.

“Yeah, we have a release,” I said, spooning up the savory sauce and dribbling it over the plate. “I’m allowed to talk about him with you, but I haven’t yet.”

He rubbed his chin. “Who is it?”

“It’s your newest student, a transfer from Longfellow School,” I said around a bite of a waxy green bean. “But I don’t want to talk about him here. We could do it professionally sometime soon.”

“He’s a good kid. I like him,” he said thoughtfully, and I had the impression yet again that he was a darn good teacher. “I’d love to talk about him sometime. And ask you if what I’m doing is helping him.”

“Sounds good,” I said and then looked around at the other couples at the table. I’d almost forgotten that we weren’t in our own little bubble talking about life in some random town. My eyes snagged and held across the room. “She’s staring at you again.”

Cameron kept his head down and focused on his food. “Let her stare. I’m having a good time with you.”

She had the decency to turn away and focus on the conversation Mike was involved in at their table. “Does that surprise you?”

“What do you mean?” he said, meeting my gaze.

“That you could forget she’s there and move on?” I asked.

“Yeah, I guess it does,” he said with wonder in his voice. “Because I haven’t until now. But it’s easy with you.”

I blushed as the servers began removing dinner plates. During dessert, Cameron spoke across the table to his former classmates, and I got to know more about the kid from high school. They shared stories about the football team’s glory days and some pranks their senior year.

I was turned sideways, focused on the couple beside me who had flown across the country for the reunion, when I felt Cameron’s breath on my neck. “Want to dance?”

I noticed for the first time that a deejay had set up shop behind us, and a slow song was playing in the background. There were a handful of couples already on the dance floor.

“That would be cool,” I said, but I was quivering on the inside. Maybe even on the outside. To stand up with him in this room, with everybody’s eyes on us, was nerve-racking in itself. It wasn’t like anybody in this place was unaware of the situation by now, given how many times I heard Cameron being asked about his former best friend, Mike.

Cameron handled the responses diplomatically, but the rumor mill was rampant in this event center and even in the bar last night, given all the sidelong glances. It made me glad this occasion was only celebrated over a short weekend. You couldn’t pay me enough to relive my awkward teenage years.

He led me to the dance floor by the hand with his fingers on the small of my back, and I could feel Dessa and Mike watching. Everybody in this place for that matter. It was like being in high school all over again. Did it ever get easier?

I fretted about it the first couple of minutes as we got our footwork in sync, until Cameron pulled me closer, buried his face in my hair and sniffed deeply, his fingers tightening on my waist.

“What are you doing?” I whispered.

He made a noise in the back of his throat. “You smell so good.”

I smiled against his chest. His skin has its own alluring vanilla scent. “What do I smell like?”

“Lemons,” he said, without hesitation. “Sunshine.”

“What?” I laughed and looked up at him as he wore a sheepish grin. “What a crock.”

“Think whatever you want,” he said, shrugging. “But you do.”

I rolled my eyes. “What does sunshine even smell like?”

“Hmmm…” he murmured against my ear, my body heating up from the vibration of his voice. “Like melted ice cream…nostalgia…childhood dreams and comfort.”

“Comfort, huh?” I wrinkled my nose, even though I once had the exact same thought about him. “Like an old pair of socks?”

My cheek sank against his shoulder and I could feel him chuckle. “All those words I used and that’s the one you decided to focus on?”

“Pathetic, I know.” I stole a quick glance up at him. His eyes narrowed in determination. He adjusted his arm around my waist, tugging me even closer while his fingers dug into my nape, making me shiver.

His lips brushed across my ear. “Like the most amazing kiss on a pier over the lake. Like sex on the beach. Are those better visuals?”

I laughed, but it was a gravelly one because I was so turned on. I could feel his erection bumping into my hip, but I didn’t want to spoil the magic of the moment. Cameron was mesmerizing, wholly absorbing, and sexy as hell.

“If you say s’mores and a campfire under the stars,” I replied, grinning, “then I’m all yours.”

He hummed deep in his throat and I realized what I’d just said, but he didn’t call me on it.

“I’d love to be able to kiss you again, right after eating that s’more,” he said, his voice low and throaty. A tremor ran through me. “Then you’d taste like chocolate and marshmallows.”

“And graham crackers,” I mumbled. “Don’t forget about those.”

He kissed my ear, his tongue darting out briefly to swipe along the shell, and the whole world fell away. Though I’d told him earlier that we shouldn’t do any of this, I couldn’t stop myself. I didn’t want to stop myself.

My breaths were releasing in fluttery wisps, and I had the urge to scrape my cheek against the stubble on his chin and then kiss him full on the mouth.

Tracing my fingers along the muscles of his back, I reciprocated by feathering my lips against the hollow of his neck.

His breath hitched as his thumb dug into my lower back. “You keep that up and I’m going to drag you back to the car.”

“You started it,” I said, quirking an eyebrow. “All your sunshine talk.”

He threw his head back and laughed, and I loved seeing that light in his eyes. He spun me around the floor some more as the song changed to another tune I recognized. Normally this song made me feel melancholy, made me ache for things I’d never had, but being in Cameron’s arms in that moment helped dissuade the fleeting gloom.

“You are so pretty,” he said, twining my hair in his fingers, and I was glad for the second time that I had worn it down. “I thought so the first time I saw you.”

“When was that?” I asked against his neck, wishing we were alone so I could devour his skin.

“Last year sometime,” he replied, dragging his forehead back to look at me.

I bit my lip, thinking it through. “At Flanagan’s?”

“Yeah, come to think of it,” he said. “You were dating somebody; he was sitting at the table with you. Some short and buff sports dude.”

I playfully smacked his arm and snickered. It had probably been Phil, who had been into rock-climbing big time, undoubtedly still was. I still remembered the twinge in my thighs as I attempted to keep up with him one afternoon, miserable the entire time.

Cameron looked off into the distance. “And I was involved with somebody, too.”

“You were dating Dessa?” I gaped, looking behind me, as if trying to spot her in the crowd. So strange to have that realization hit now, after all this time. After all that we’d shared. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he said, his thumb lifting my chin. “You make me feel like I can finally breathe.”