Twenty One (Love by Numbers Book 2) (4 page)

H
is of course the first to break the silence of everyone else in the room.

“I swear to God J, I’ve never been so worried as I have been the last few days, well not since I lost my favourite Ken doll as a child.”

He is deadly serious when he says this and continues to explain, “My mother found him a few days later in a compromising situation with my sisters Barbie doll and gave me a clip around the ear for being so disgusting. I never made him mount Barbie in the airing cupboard, my bloody brother Andrew did and I got all the blame. Not only was I devastated that he had gone missing but I also got grounded for it too!”

Everyone is silent until Liam and Nate can no longer hold in their sniggering and the room descends into chaos and loud laughter.

I laugh so much that my weak body hurts but the pain is nothing compared to seeing everyone here in fits of hysterics and H standing there oblivious, wondering what he said was so funny.

“It’s not bloody funny, scarred me for life that incident did, in fact J’s little adventure may have just caused me to have some kind of mental break in reliving such a traumatic childhood experience.” He winks at me while everyone doubles over again, both Liam and Nate slapping him on the back and teasing him about his beloved Ken Doll.

I wink back at H, in awe of his ability to just make any and every situation lighter.

I
t’s over an hour later and only when my nurse comes back in and ushers everyone out, I finally get to see Emma again.

True to her word she waited outside, hugging everyone goodbye when they left, before slipping back into the room to see me.

She seems to get more stunningly beautiful every time I see her, especially now her whole demeanour is lighter and less worried.

“Have you been having a party in here Mr Fox?” she teasingly questions as she approaches my bed. “I could hear the raucous laughter in the hallway; in fact I think the whole hospital heard it.”

“Do I look capable of partying at the moment? I think you’ll find Miss Campbell, that it was H and his love affair with a Ken Doll that set everyone off.” I smirk at her, waiting for her to require an explanation of the whole ‘Barbie mounting’ affair.

“It’s bad form to put blame on your best mate Mr Fox, especially when he is not here to defend himself. I do believe you are not as unwell as you are making out and just love all the sympathy and attention.” She slowly sits on the chair next to the bed, her eyes twinkle in delight, our easy conversation flows as if we never went missing at sea, causing her to be frantic with worry the last few days. It’s like we have never been apart, picking right back up from where we left off.

“If you promise to stay and sit with me, I’ll gladly take all the blame.” I manage to lift my weak arm and lay my hand on top of hers before letting out a large yawn.

Her smiling face slowly changes to a concerned one “I think you need some sleep Jake, I think that party you just had has worn you out; in fact I’m wondering if your partying days are now numbered.”

“No stay and talk to me, I promise to let you go if I get tired, just stay for a while, please? You can’t go saying no to an invalid now can you?”

I’d get down on my knees and beg her if I had to, well if I could. I’m not sure what happened to me after passing out in that cove a few days ago but I’m starting to wonder if I’m not as pussy whipped as H, I cannot bear to let her out of my sight.

She looks up at me shyly, turning her hand over to link her fingers with mine, “I’ll stay for a little while.”

She stares at our joined hands before a small sigh escapes her lips and she returns her gaze to mine.

“So I guess you’ll be heading back to the UK as soon as you are well enough?”

I hesitate before I reply, “Yeah, I guess I messed things up a bit by pulling that little disappearing act, I’ve got commitments I have to fulfil, so as soon as I get the all clear I need to go face the music.”

She looks away from me to the window, “There are already press camped outside this place, I guess they all want the inside scoop and I’m not sure how you cope with it all if I’m honest.”

Her eyes remained locked on the view outside and the words leave my mouth before I even have time to think, “Come with me?”

She swings her head sharply back to me, shock registering on her features, “W.. what?”

“I want you to come with me when I leave. I know it sounds crazy and a bit out of the blue but I’ve never had….. this before Emma. I’m not willing to just walk away from it.”

She says nothing for what seems like eternity, the need to beg her takes over my brain and I open my mouth to lay my soul at her feet when she finally replies.

“I… can’t Jake, I have a great job and I like it here, I can’t go letting Nate down to go gallivanting around the world with you, we hardly know each other.”

The words are softly spoken but she never breaks the connection of our eyes or our hands when she says them.

We are both silent for a few moments before the nurse barges into the room breaking into our thoughts and Emma takes her hand from mine and gets up to leave.

She places a soft kiss on my cheek and stares into my eyes whispering “I’ll come back tomorrow.”

T
hen she’s gone.

Gone from this room and possibly my life.

It hits me that the one thing I have wanted my entire life, a successful career, is now going to be the one thing keeping me from something I never dreamt I wanted.

How fucked up is that?

You get given one dream, to have another, more important one, snatched away.

“C
ome with me?”

F
uck! Why the hell did I let those three words fall from my mouth?

It’s not that I do not desperately want her to come with me but the look on her face when the words escaped my lips was one of shock and confusion, swiftly followed by sadness.

This girl has got me so messed up I don’t know my own name sometimes.

How the fuck have I allowed her to burrow so deeply under my skin?

S
he has invaded my soul, infected my blood and forced my heart to pump nothing but her very essence around my body for days.

If you were to cut me right now I would bleed nothing but her.

“J
ake did you just hear what I was saying about Redlight?”

I stop staring out of the window and look over to where Nate is standing at the foot of my bed.

“No sorry, I was miles away. What about Redlight?”

“Tina called, they have scheduled a press conference for tomorrow confirming your arrival back in the UK by the end of the week.”

I look back towards the view outside, the cloudless, perfectly blue sky, mocking the greyness that surrounds me like a fog.

“I asked her to come with me.” Why the hell am I telling Nate?

“Who?.... Emma? Jesus Jake, please tell me you did not ask Emma to go on the VB promotional tour with you. She has a life here, a job here and friends
here.
You barely know each other.”

He shakes his head at me, “I’m not sure what’s going on in your head little Bro but taking a girl you practically just met, who you’ve had one very disastrous date with, off around the world is a recipe for trouble for both of you.”

I want to be angry with him, to yell and ask him what the fuck his problem is but the trouble is he’s right.

“She said no.” my eyes return to the mocking blue sky and I watch as a single gull soars past.

Nate sighs loudly and draws my attention back to him, he has both hands gripping the back of his neck and he begins to pace the floor in front of my bed.

“It’s all or nothing with you Jake. I’m just worried that although you are feeling ‘all’ with Emma at the moment, what happens when that turns to ‘nothing’? What happens to that girl who has had to fight her way to where she is right now?” He runs a hand down his face, his frustration and concern clearly visible.

“I’m trying to look out for both of you here Bro, can’t you just take things slow? Fly her out to see you a few times or come visit her here when you get a break in your schedule?”

I finally look back at him, silently taking in the genuine worry on his face. Great, he thinks I’ve lost my mind. Maybe I have.

“Is that what you would do if you were me? If you were me and this was Liv we were discussing, is that what you would do?”

He stops pacing and drops both hands to his sides.

“No, it’s not what I would do with Liv but that is a different situation and you know it.”

I digest his words for a few seconds. “You and I are not so different Nate, or has a few months with Liv wiped away the memories of all the other women you’ve shagged?”

I’m not trying to be harsh and throw his previous wild ways in his face but does he not think I am capable of having what he has? Is it such a ridiculous notion that she has ruined me for all others? Do I not deserve to see where these overwhelming feeling I have for her are heading?

“Y
ou’re right Jake, you and I are not
so different but Liv and Emma
are.
Just think about what she’s been through Jake and what you are asking of her.”

He stares silently at me before walking towards the door, pausing with his hand on the door handle.

“You’ve had a scare Jake; do not let this rule your emotions. Do not confuse the guilt I know you feel for everything that has happened to Emma, cause her more pain.”

He quietly opens the door but I speak before he takes a step outside.

“If you want to accuse me of anything Nate, call me selfish. It’s not guilt making me never want to have her out of my sight, it’s not guilt tearing at my insides and crushing the air from my lungs. It’s selfishness.”

He nods once at me and leaves the room.

S
elfish.

If you looked the word up the dictionary its definition would be: Jake Fox.

Right now I don’t care.

I
want
her.

I
need
her.

I
will
fight for her and be damned anyone who get’s in my way.

N
ot long after Nate leaves, all the rest of the family descend on me.

Liam spends a few hours visiting with Josh & Isaac. All three are heading back home tomorrow, their extended stay has caused them all sorts of headaches.

I feel bad that they all put their lives on hold for me and for once I do not hesitate to tell them how much I appreciate them.

They all look at me a little weird when I thank them.

I guess the old Jake, pre Emma, pre almost dying at sea, would never have thought twice about what others had going on in their lives.

Shit, I must have been a right prick over the years.

They say a near death experience can change a man but I don’t think that’s what changed me.

In fact I know what, or should I say who has changed me and has been changing me for the last few months.

Emma.

“H
ey Liam, have you seen Emma today? She said she was gonna visit.”

He is in mid conversation with Isaac about some new art book his photographs are being used for. Liam, like Isaac, can be quite arty, only while Isaac prefers photography as his medium, Liam is a really talented watercolourist, who also dabbles with charcoals sketches.

“No she was in bed when I got back last night and I left really early this morning so I haven’t run into her yet today. Want me to drop her a quick text, she if she’s on her way?”

I answer him far too quickly, giving away my need to see her again. “No it’s okay, she said she would be here so I know she will, I expect she has loads to catch up on at the club with Nate.”

I can’t help but feel a little dejected.

I guess I wear that emotion clearly on my face as Liam stands to approach me, lowering his voice to be more discreet.

“So before everything went pear shaped on your date I’m guessing things went well?” He smiles slightly.

“She was in bits when you were missing Jake, please don’t go trampling all over her if you cannot live up to the feelings she blatantly has for you. She does not deserve to have her heart crushed.” He is looking at me questioningly, waiting for me to admit that I want nothing but a quick shag from Emma, no ties, no commitment, no feelings.