Twin Cowboys for Tamara (15 page)

He’d been even more nervous at the idea of witnessing what Noah and Tamara were about to do with each other.

To this day, Jess didn’t know if he had been upset or relieved when Bailey arrived to stop whatever happened between Noah and Tamara. He’d had an idea what would have occurred had the couple not been interrupted and wasn’t sure he wanted to see a man touch Tamara that way, even if he couldn’t.

Up until that moment he’d helped his dad and the vet deliver a couple of calves and foals. He had even watched two horses mate before, but seeing the act he had only witnessed between animals, or just heard gossip about were three totally different things.

Had he and Jax not been shirking their duties that day and Bailey hadn’t been looking for
them
, Tamara and Noah probably wouldn’t have been caught, at least not right then. Not a day went by that Jess didn’t blame himself for what happened next. Sure, he didn’t like Noah for touching Tamara so familiarly, for doing things to her that he felt he alone had the right to do, but he hadn’t wanted his dad to fire the man.

He still blamed himself for the fallout every day since. He had wanted to apologize to Tamara a hundred times over for his part in Ebook piracy is stealing. It is a federal offense.

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getting her and Noah caught. He knew, however, that nothing he could have said would have changed what happened or would have put the light back in her eyes.

Jess had to settle for glimpses of Tamara around the ranch the rest of that summer as she worked and studied. She rarely ventured outside a routine that everyone on the ranch knew was part self-flagellation and part rebellion.

Jess wondered if Bailey had ached as much as him for Tamara. He wondered if anyone felt her withdrawal as acutely as he did and decided it wasn’t possible because no one cared about her as much as he did.

Jax pushed off of the door and made his way over to Jess, clamping a hand on his shoulder. “I’ll soften her up right and proper.

By the time I’m done with her, she’ll be falling over herself to forgive you.”

Jess glanced at his brother from the corner of his eye, and blood or not, he wasn’t too crazy about the idea of Jax
softening up
Tamara even if he did it for Jess.

This was exactly what he had not wanted. Only back on the ranch barely a day and Tamara already came between him and his brother and wreaked havoc with her presence.

She can only wreak havoc if you let her
.

Easier said than done. He really didn’t have a choice in the matter.

She couldn’t be ignored as much as Jess would like to try and forget she existed. It hadn’t worked in the almost twenty years since she’d been away. It certainly wasn’t going to work now. Not when he knew she lived and breathed walking distance away and accessible.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, remembered the look of someone betrayed etched across her caramel features and knew that he had put it there, that
he
had betrayed her.

If she would just give him a chance to explain, she might not hate him so much.

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Twin Cowboys for Tamara

109

Who did he kid? He wanted it all. He didn’t want her to just not hate him. He wanted her to care about him as much as he cared about her. He wanted to recapture those precious, quiet moments at the motel away from everyone and everything when she had been his.

“I appreciate your help, Jax but you really don’t have to do this.”

“Like it’s going to be any great sacrifice.”

That’s what Jess feared. Getting close to Tamara wasn’t going to be any great sacrifice for Jax. He knew Jax couldn’t
wait
to toss his hat in the ring and see if she would go for him the same way she had gone for Jess. He knew his brother, knew how Jax liked to compete because he did too. At least in this respect, they had lots in common.

Must have been a Reynolds family trait bred into them from a father who didn’t know the meaning of the words give up, quit or surrender.

“Jess, I want to do this for you and Tam. Let me help you.”

His reluctance must really be showing. And if so, Jess wondered, what else showed? Could Jax feel his jealousy? Could he see it?

He hated being all balled up inside, hated not knowing whether he was coming or going and, especially, all because of a woman.

Maybe he’d be better off just letting it go and stepping aside altogether to let Jax be with Tamara.

Even though his heart twisted in rebellion at the idea, he couldn’t deny the chemistry he’d felt between them when Jax had massaged her shoulders. He couldn’t deny that something simmered between them. It wouldn’t take much to fan the flames of desire between the pair, not with Cool Hand Jax on the case.

Just thinking about all his brother’s lusty antics in college and all the different ways Jax had of separating a girl from her panties made Jess’s stomach flip.

“You’re not giving up before we even start, are you?”

Jess opened his eyes to stare at Jax, hadn’t even realized before then that he had closed them as if to ward off a vision of his brother and Tamara together. “Giving up?”

“Yeah. On Tam?”

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“Not a chance,” he blurted, meaning it. He wasn’t giving up on Tamara that easily, even if his brother was the other man.

“Good man. That’s what I wanted to hear.” Jax clamped his shoulder again just as Tamara turned the corner and neared Clipper’s stall.

Jess caught the way she slowed down as she approached and the way her back straightened, emphasizing her already proud posture, which consequently pushed her breasts out at a mouth-watering angle.

He watched his brother turn to her and plainly saw the look of appreciation splashed across Jax’s face, but couldn’t find it in himself to be angry with Jax. The man only followed his instincts. Besides which, Tamara was an attractive sexy woman, as Jax had pointed out earlier. Jess knew she would garner second and third glances from any red-blooded male within a twenty-mile radius, himself included.

Jess remembered the way she’d looked earlier that day, shamelessly walking around the motel room naked, and caught himself licking his lips as she neared.

Tamara frowned as she paused a couple of feet away from them, and Jess noticed that she had freshened up, changing into a black pair of jeans and an orange shirt that perfectly set off her complexion. She eyed him warily before turning to Jax. “Am I interrupting anything?

Let me know and I can come back later.”

“No you’re not interrupting anything. I just touched base with Jess about some work that needed to be done around the ranch.”

Jess smiled at his brother’s cool tone. The man proved such a smooth operator it should have been illegal. It still wasn’t enough to put Tamara at ease, he noticed, since he could feel her tension washing over him in waves as she stood between them.

Clipper whinnied and nodded his head, relieving the friction, and Tamara looked at the animal as if noticing him for the first time.

She stepped closer, easily patted his head, smoothing her hand down his shiny spotted coat and grinning. “What’s his name?”

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“This here’s Clipper, one of our finest stallions,” Jax responded with pride. Tamara turned to look at him with a bright smile that belonged to Jess. At least it had belonged to him up until a couple of hours ago before he’d become
persona non grata
around here.

“Actually he’s Sunspot’s Eclipse. I just call him Clipper.”

She turned to him, her look guarded, and he wished he hadn’t been the one to put that expression of hostile distrust in her eyes.

“Beautiful name for a beautiful horse.”

“Want to take him out? I’m sure Jess won’t mind, will you, Jess?”

Jess ground his teeth. He darn well did mind, but he’d walk over hot coals before he let Tamara know that her going out for a ride with his brother on
his
horse bothered him. “No, I don’t mind at all.” He handed the reins over to Tamara then crossed the stall to retrieve Clipper’s saddle. By the time he made it back, Jax had already draped a blanket over the horse’s back, and Jess settled the saddle on top of it.

He reached to cinch the saddle around the horse’s middle, but Tamara stepped between him and Clipper and reached for the straps.

“I can do that.”

“I thought it might have been a while since you’d ridden…”

“It has, but I haven’t forgotten.”

And he could see that she hadn’t. She acted as perfectly comfortable and at ease with Clipper as he acted with her, and in no time flat, she had attached the saddle snug but not too snug over the blanket and around the horse’s belly.

He watched her take Clipper’s reins again to lead him out of the stall, and traitor followed her like an obedient servant.

“Well, I’ll go get Cappuccino saddled up, and we’ll be on our way.” Jax left before either of them could object, and Jess watched as Tamara shifted her weight from one leg to the other as she averted her gaze and almost compulsively patted Clipper.

“Get much riding done in New York?”

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Tamara looked around her then gave Jess a head-on stare as if to say “You talking to me?” before she finally acknowledged that he could
only
be talking to her. “Not unless you count the carousel at Coney Island.”

“I would have liked to have seen that.”

She shrugged. “No big deal. You seen one carousel, you’ve seen them all.”

His arms ached to hold her and the fact that they were standing there like two strangers tore him up inside. He could barely believe he had been buried deep in her body and they had been wrapped around each other not a few hours ago.

Jess didn’t know what he considered worse—her being back only to ignore him like yesterday’s garbage or her not being back at all. He thought he could deal with never having known how it felt to make love to her, than knowing her body only to have it snatched away from him. To heck with that better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all saying. The pain of having her within arms’ reach, but her hating and mistrusting him too much for him to want to do anything about it, ate him up inside. .

Jess decided to leave her alone a second before Jax turned the corner, leading a saddled and spirited Cappuccino down the aisle.

“Oh, he’s beautiful too!” Tamara rubbed the shiny copper coat of Jax’s stallion as they neared, and like Clipper before him, Cappuccino welcomed her attention, pushing his head against her hand and whinnying in pleasure.

Tamara giggled at the animal’s antics. “I missed this a lot more than I thought I did.” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, the look on her face far away and dreamy as she continued caressing the animal’s head and shoulders. “The feel of a horse, the earthy smell of the country… There’s just nothing like it in the city.”

“Makes you wish you never went away, huh?” Jax asked.

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Twin Cowboys for Tamara

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Jess held his breath waiting for her answer then felt the top of his ears heat with embarrassment at the naked regret he saw in Tamara’s eyes when she opened them.

Leave it to Jax to be blunt and get to the painful heart of a matter.

“I had to go away, Jax. You know that.”

Jess read between the lines. She’d left not just because law school in New York had been calling her, but because she couldn’t stand to be in the place of her greatest humiliation and failure a minute longer.

Yet, she might have stayed on and even gone to school in Colorado had Bailey showed her the slightest indication that she was still his cherished daughter. She’d just wanted to know that he loved her no matter what, and that she hadn’t irreparably disappointed him. That the man had been too stubborn to do so had been all of their loss.

“You know we never stopped loving you, no matter what Bailey said or did.”

She glanced at Jess before turning to Jax. “I know. And you know the feeling’s mutual. I never stopped loving you either.”

Tamara had her back to him, but he could still hear the catch in her voice as she stepped close to stand on her toes, wrap her arms around Jax’s neck and peck him on the cheek.

That they’d shared a brief, friendly kiss made it no less of an affront to Jess. She might as well have stuck her tongue down his throat and rubbed herself against him.

Jess clenched his hands into fists at his sides and squeezed his eyes tight.

He didn’t know how he intended to survive Jax’s grand plan to get Tamara to forgive
him
, especially if it involved Jax and Tamara getting any closer than they stood right now. In fact, he thought he’d die a thousand times over at the thought of her being out and about on the ranch with Jax.

The ranch featured several vantage points to particularly panoramic views that could be turned into an excuse for a romantic interlude. Sunsets and sunrises were especially dazzling. Jess knew Ebook piracy is stealing. It is a federal offense.

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that after so many years surrounded by high rises, smog and starless nights, Tamara would be exceptionally susceptible. She would be more than willing to show her appreciation of nature’s wonders to the nearest available person. He remembered how much she’d enjoyed the mountain view from their motel room when she wasn’t enjoying his body and the thought made him smile.