Authors: Holly Hood
Hutch extended his hand. I just wanted to get him far away from my
house,
so I could repent for my sins in the peace and quiet of my bedroom. I felt rather awful at that moment.
While Dad and Hutch chatted about his former whereabouts and what his goals were while visiting California my phone rang in my pocket. I pulled it free and was immediately
bombarded with Karsen’s shrill tone.
“I do not want any
objections. You
are coming to hang out with Kidd, Slade and I tonight. There will be no Audrey or
Erica,
and you have no choice in the matter. We will see you in ten minutes.” She ended the call before I could
protest
. My heart dropped to my
feet,
and I immediately started to panic.
“Say
good-bye,
Dad.” I told him
,
grabbing Hutch’s arm and pulling him to the door. Dad stared flabbergasted that I interrupted probably his only manly conversation he had in
a while.
I released Hutch from my
grasp,
as soon as I had him on the porch.
“
You’re
running me out so quickly. I thought we could finish our conversation. I was serious about helping you.” His fingers skimmed my hair, brushing it off my shoulder. “Promise you’ll consider my offer.”
I looked away. “I can’t promise anything, Hutch. When I’m around you I
find myself feeling horrible about myself
.”
“
Almost kissing
me,
you mean?
Would it be such a bad thing?
Or
are you just worried you
would
enjoy
yourself?”
“It doesn’t matter.” I moved closer to the door taking hold of the handle. “You shouldn’t be
trying to kiss
girls with boyfriends.”
He nodded. “What bad
could
come out of something so wonderful?”
I laughed, amused by his reasoning. “I could think of a few
things, like
my
boyfriend's
fist.”
Hutch shrugged. “Consider it. I’m not trying to ruin your relationship with your boyfriend. I hate to see something bad happen to you
is all
.”
“You have to go. I’ll do my best to consider it.” I waved him away and headed inside. I didn’t understand why Hutch cared
about my
wellbeing
. We were two people from the opposite side of the
world. He
was morally good. While I seemed to be running around with the dark side, I didn’t know what to believe, I didn’t know him enough to believe he was genuine.
As I brushed my teeth and dressed, I did my best to shake of
f the guilt. It
was nothing more than a simple
infatuation
.
I
didn't go
through with
anything;
I needed to stop worrying about it.
I sighed. It wasn’t
that simple
at all. I was into
it. I
wanted
it.
And in that
moment,
I
knew I would have like it—loved it even
.
I wished I never met
Hutch. I
wished I hadn’t
come home
from college either.
I
came
out of my bedroom, smoothing my pale pink camisole as I walked
to
the
kitchen,
Dad was leaning
against the counter polishing an apple.
I
sat
my purse on the counter and opened the refrigerator.
“You never told me about that boy that was here. Who was he?”
I sighe
d.
I didn’t want to explain Hutch to him. I wanted to forget the night had even happened. “He’s just some guy that I met on the beach.” I retrieved
a bottled
water from the refrigerator and shut the door.
“Is there anything you do want to talk about with
me,”
Dad asked.
I raised an eyebrow
,
tilting my head back and letting the water slide down my throat.
“Maybe why
you’re
ignoring your friend and boyfriend and hanging out with this guy. Or why you have a black magic tattoo on your wrist that I never really
considered until
my house was marked with a pentagram.”
My stomach clenched.
“I didn’t know it was black magic.
It’s
not that to me, to
me,
it’s
just a heart.” That was close to the truth.
Dad frowned. “What is going on with you, Hope?”
It really irked me that now he wanted to seize the moment to figure out my change of mood,
or
my lack of socializing. If only he stuck around longer instead of hanging with
Lynette,
he would see what I was going through.
“Do you want to know the truth?” I whispered
,
staring down at my feet. “I have never felt more alone then I do right now.”
Dad’s audible sigh didn’t concern me like it might have a
couple of
months ago. Now I didn’t care if my honesty hurt his feelings. I was sick of worrying about his feelings when mine were being trampled on. Someone had to look out for mine, and the only person who could do that was me.
“Hope, I’ve never heard you say something like that before.” Dad’s arms were
crossed. His
eyebrows furrowed in deep concern. “I don’t know what is going on, but why don’t you talk to me?”
“When,”
I
snapped,
“When are you ever around?”
Bright headlights bounced
through
the door. I
grabbed
my
purse to leave,
but Dad stopped me.
“
It’s
always been you and I. And I
regularly
promise
you I
will
be there for you. Maybe that’s not been happening lately, but you have to know that I love you, Kid.”
Slade wrapped his fist on the screen interrupting the intense moment. He let himself
in. Dad's
mood darkened at the sight of Slade.
“How’s it going, Slade?” He said politely.
Slade gave dad a nod and immediately looked at me. “It’s going, Mr.
Zigler
.”
There was no call me Neil, Dad didn’t like
him,
and I was sure that would never change. If only he knew what Slade had done for his
daughter,
he wouldn’t be quick to
judge. He wouldn’t be s
o
head over heels in lust with Lynette either
I thought to myself
.
“I’m going to go,” I said, slowly moving
towards
the door. There was
a
n
awkwardness’
in the air.
“Hope, I want to talk to you. Tomorrow could you fit me in your life maybe?” Dad said.
“I
am singing
at the café tomorrow. If you’re up early we can talk then.” I
headed
for the door before I
started to cry.
I hated seeing dad wearing that disappointed expression. One that told me he was not happy with me.
But I was in misery
.
Kidd and Karsen sat in Kidd’s car waiting on us. I knew Karsen hung back so
Slade,
and I could get a word in before all of us were immersed in one vehicle.
“How
have
you been?” Slade said quietly as we started down the stairs. He kept his hands in his pockets and stared at the ground.
“I’ve been better.” I fidgeted with my
fingers. This
felt more like a first date then hanging with some of the most cherished people to me.
“We thought you might want to get a bite to eat and then go hang out at the tour bus for a little while.” Slade informed me. I shook my
head. The
idea didn’t sound so awful
anymore,
and it gave me time to explain the latest issues with him.
He pulled the door open for me and let me climb in first.
Karsen turned aroun
d in the front seat. She smiled. I
t was written all over her
face,
she was happy to see me. “I
can’t
begin to explain how much I missed you.”
I smiled faintly.
“We all missed Hope didn’t we?” She looked from Kidd to Slade.
Kidd threw a fist in the air as if he was cheering on a great game. But he was simply being over animated for Karsen. “Hope, it makes my life complete now that you’re here.” He winked at me from the mirror.
I settled back into my seat
and buckled up. Karsen giggled
,
pleased to have someone playing along with her. She twisted around in her
seat. Her
blue eyes filled with
delight. She
looked at Slade next. “Slade, tell Hope how much you missed her.”
I glanced at Slade knowing his idea of fun wasn’t hanging around my best friend, but he was obviously doing it for me. Kidd turned the mirror to get a look at
Slade. He
grinned.
Slade cleared his throat. “Karsen is
right. I've
missed seeing you.”
I smooth a lock of hair
behind
my
ear
, smiling shyly at him. It felt good to hear. He placed his hand over mine, stroking my knuckles with his thumb. My heart
sank. It
was hard
to enjoy the moment when
I couldn't stop thinking about the kiss Hutch and I almost had.
It was haunting me.
After eating some Chinese on the boardwalk we all settled in the t
our bus. Listening to Slade and Kidd discuss the music they were working on.
I rested against Slade feeling a little tired, but enjoying the normal moment we all were sharing for once. I was glad to hear Karsen’s voice, her contagious laugh. And it was nice to have Slade next to me, stroking my hair as he discussed what he enjoyed the most—music.
Karsen yawned, “I hate to say it, but I am tired.”
I smirked. “So am I. What time is it?”
Kidd checked his phone, “t
hree in the morning.”
Karsen took me
by
the hand and gave me that look. The usual look she gave when she wanted to say something. We both scooted out of the booth and went outside. Insects buzzed in the
darkness
Karsen hugged her arms
around
her body trying to
dodge
the chill. She dropped down taking a seat on the steps. I sat beside her.
“I just wanted to
say
that
I was
sorry.” She cut to the chase.
“Don’t worry about it.
I’m
only
glad to see you.” I told her, I wasn’t upset anymore I was just relieved to have my best friend back, the friend
who
had always been there for me my entire life.
“I would have never picked her over you. I hope you know that. I don’t know
what it was. They had this influence over me. I hardly feel like myself anymore and its starting to disturb me, Hope.” Karsen sighed.
I scratched at my arm unsure what I could say to make her feel any better. “Karsen, Audrey is bad news and the further away you stay the better off you
will be.”
Karsen scoffed. “You
aren’t
kidding. Kidd said
Audrey
was trying to
craft
some spell on the entire café that nig
ht.”
I wondered what all she knew about that night. “Did he say anything else?”
Karsen leaned into me letting out a yawn. She didn’t get how deep this lifestyle went into the
dark side
. I wished I could tell her. “He said to stay away from her, that she was up to
no
good. Something along the
lines
of it was nothing I
need
ed
to concern myself with. You know how boyfriends can be.”