Twisted Reality (Blind Reality #2) (9 page)

L
eaving Joey every morning is getting harder and harder. I don’t know if it’s because I’m not into this movie and the fast filming process, if it’s because I’m not entirely fond of my demanding co-star, or simply because I’d rather be with Joey. I’m sure it’s mostly the latter considering the way she makes me feel. I’ve never been so comfortable with someone before. I’ve never not cared that people were taking our photos at dinner because they’re capturing moments that we haven’t been able to capture outside of our own memories.

Either way, this movie can’t be done soon enough. I’m ready to move on, get back to Los Angeles, find a house, and start living a life with her. I know she hates living in the hotel, but it’s something she’s going to have to get used to. I want her to travel with me, be near me while filming. Being away from her for long periods of time isn’t going to work for me. It’s selfish of me to say, I know, but it’s how I feel. I suppose she can always travel and come visit, but it won’t be the same. Falling asleep and waking up in her arms is the only thing getting me through these shoots.

Finally, my scenes are becoming fewer and I’m allotted more breaks. Each break is spent talking to Joey, and even when it’s mindless chatter, hearing her voice helps get me through the rest of my day. I’ve finally convinced her that she
needs
to leave the hotel, daily. It doesn’t matter what she’s doing, as long as she’s out and about. She’s scared to spend my money for fear she’d look like a gold-digger. I get that, but she’s my wife and she has to realize sooner or later that what’s mine is hers. Joey doesn’t have to work if she doesn’t want to—in fact, I prefer that she not.

When she tried to talk to me about Cole and Millie, I had to shut her down. I’ve seen too many couples fight because of what their friends are going through. We both care about our friends, but there has to be a fine line of when to get involved. Since our last appearance, Cole and I haven’t spoken. I didn’t really expect us to maintain a solid friendship, but knew Millie and Joey would. I get that Joey wants to help them, but it’s none of our business. Joey and I are going to have enough of our own issues to deal with once we’re back home. The media will be relentless in picking our relationship apart and I’d rather focus all of my energy on making sure Joey knows that I’m in love with her and not some random coffee girl that happens to post a selfie with the wrong caption.

As soon as I finish my current scene I hightail it to my trailer. My phone is sitting there, waiting for me, and in my hand by the time I’m spread out on my sofa.

“Done already?”

There’s no sultry hello when she answers and deep down that bothers me. I know I shouldn’t look for the worst in everything and give her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe I caught her doing something and she wasn’t prepared to answer my video call?

“Hello, wife,” I say instead of answering her question. Her face lights up, quelling any thoughts I had that something may be off.

“Hello, husband,” she replies. “I miss you,” she adds, instantly putting the cheesiest smile on my face.

“I miss you, too, Joey. I’ll be done early. Do you want to grab dinner out?”

“Yes, but dessert back here. I made a cake today.”

My stomach rolls angrily, mocking me for being here and not at home with Joey, eating her cake. It’s not that she does anything special, it’s that she made it. The memory of her smashing still warm cake in my face during the show is as crisp as the day it happened. I thought I was being smooth by bringing up the fact that we hadn’t shared our celebratory cake that most newlyweds do at the reception and she took the bait. Only she bested me and I’ll never forget it.

“We could always have cake for dinner,” I suggest. She laughs, making me wonder how many times in her life she has done that. Growing up, it didn’t matter what I ate, as long as I put food in my stomach. Dinners stopped being a thing in my house early on. My mother was too busy with her boy-toys to make dinner and my father was never home on time. I ate whatever I could find: chips, cookies, ice cream, frozen dinners. My lifestyle as a pre-teen was anything less than stellar in the food department.

“We could. How long is your break for?”

“About an hour. Once we hang up, I’m going to take a nap. I did a fight scene today and even the motions of trying to hit someone takes a toll.”

“Maybe you need to work out.”

“Haha, you’re funny,” I tell her. I’ve complained repeatedly that the filming schedule has messed up my exercise routine. In the house, I could lift weights and do cardio every day. I felt great, and I was probably in the best shape of my life. Being on set has ruined that. “Are you saying I’m weak?”

Joey laughs. “Not at all. You can easily carry me around the suite.”

“That’s because you’re usually attached to my dick and I don’t want to pull out.”

“Josh …” she warns. We tried the video sex thing the other day and I got caught jacking off by the production assistant. Apparently people don’t knock on set here and she caught me with my pants around my ankles, my hand moving fast up and down my shaft and my wife encouraging me via video chat. As if things couldn’t get any worse, the assistant didn’t even bother to leave the room, instead standing there in shock at what she was witnessing. Joey heard me yelling and she started yelling. It wasn’t good.

“I can always go into the bathroom,” I tell her, hoping she agrees. “Or you can get yourself off and I’ll watch.”

“You’ll just watch?”

I nod and she rolls her eyes.

“I don’t believe you.”

“You’re probably right. I can’t control myself when I’m with you.”

“Same here,” she says, taking a bite of whatever she’s eating. It stupidly makes me long to be that object. Shit, I think I need help. I’ve never been this attached to someone before. It can’t be healthy. I’d ask a friend or two, but most of mine are single, or getting divorced. I don’t want to know that these feelings I’m having will wear off, so maybe living in my magic bubble of bliss is what’s best for me.

I yawn and rub my hand down my face. The last thing I want to do is hang up with her, but sleep is a hot commodity when filming. The fresher I look, the better it is for me.

“Take a nap, Josh. I’ll be here when you get home.”

The word home hits hard. The fact that she’s calling our suite our home sends a jolt right to my heart. Maybe I’ve been worrying about nothing.

“I love you,” I tell her.

“I love you, too. Kick ass today.” She blows me a kiss that I return and we both hang up. As soon as I roll over and close my eyes the pounding on my door starts. I think about ignoring it, but the knocking becomes incessant.

“What?” I yell out, hoping that whoever is on the other side of the door will ask their question and go away. When they don’t say anything I close my eyes again, only for the knocking to start back up.

“You’re seriously pissing me off,” I yell as I get up. My trailer is small, taking only a few steps until I’m at the door. “
What
?” I shout as I fling it open, immediately regretting answering when I see who’s on the other side.

Jules stands there, shocked by my attitude. I don’t regret yelling at her because she shouldn’t even be here. Her hair is pulled up in a ponytail, something I’ve never seen her do before, and it makes me wonder if she’s trying to emulate Joey’s look. She’s also lacking a lot of the make-up she usually wears. Aside from the hair and make-up, everything else is still Jules with ridiculous high heels and a trench coat. Red flags go off that whatever she’s wearing, or not wearing, under that coat needs to stay there.

“What do you want, Jules? I’m busy.” I stand in the doorway, blocking her view from seeing in the trailer. I want her to assume Joey is inside.

“Can I come in?”

I shake my head. “No.”

“We need to talk.”

“No we don’t. I’ve already told you, we’re done and I’ve moved on.” I’d flash her my wedding band, but I’ve taken it off for filming.

“I get that, Joshie, but we need to talk.” That’s when she opens her coat and everything around me stands still. Even being fully dressed there are things I can’t unsee and this is one of them. The Jules I’m used to is not standing in front of me. This new one is standing here with her normal skintight clothes on, but with the added feature of a protruding belly.

“Now can I come in?” she asks again, this time her voice is soft and pleading. I nod in shock and step aside, letting her walk into my rickety trailer. “I love what you’ve done to the place,” she says, laughing, as she walks around the square box. The trailer isn’t much, but while on set it’s mine. It serves as my sanctuary, a place where I can get away from it all.

Except now I want to run from it.

“Jules.” I try to get her attention, but her back is facing me. I’ve played this game with her before. She wants me to touch her, pull her to me, and beg her to tell me what’s bothering her. I won’t this time. I won’t do it.

After a minute, she gives up and turns to face me. I remain in my spot, near the door. If I need a quick escape this is my only option.

“Like I said, we need to talk.” Smiling, she rubs her hand over her belly. Everything from my throat to my stomach bounces, swells, and tries to rip through my body.

“I don’t see how that is any of my concern.” I nod toward her stomach.

“Oh, Josh, I think you know why I’m here.”

Nope
. That is what I tell myself.
I don’t and I refuse to believe this has anything to do with me.

Jules sits down and makes herself comfortable, although I suppose if she actually wore sensible shoes while carrying extra weight around she might fare better. She continues to run her hand over her belly as if it’s somehow soothing.

“What do you want, Jules?” I ask for the third time. This time she sets her steely gaze upon me, and smiles one of the most sinister grins I have ever seen in my life.

“You.”

“I’m married.”

“Doesn’t matter. Divorces are easy. Besides, we’re going to start a family. Surely your new wife will have an issue with you being tied to another woman for the rest of your life.”

“It’s not mine, Jules. We haven’t been together for months.”

She laughs as if she’s mocking me. “I’m almost six months along, you can do the math. I know you’re smart enough to figure it all out.”

I shake my head, unwilling to acknowledge that this is my fate. I don’t want children, even Joey knows this and has accepted it. Hell, being married is a stretch for me, but with Joey it’s been worth changing my beliefs.

“How come I’m just hearing about this now? Surely the tabloids would’ve picked up on what you’re trying to hide.”

“I’ve been staying at home, waiting for you to come back to me. I tried telling you after I found out, but you must’ve blocked my number. I get it, Joshie, I do. She’s new, exciting, and probably caters to you. But let’s be realistic here, it’s always been Josh and Jules, and now that we’re having a baby we can go back to the way things used to be.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, Jules,” I say, shaking my head. “I’m in love with Joey and there’s no room for you in our lives.”

She brushes off my statement as if my words don’t mean anything. “I’m pregnant and you’re the father. I’m fairly certain that cements me in your life whether you and your precious reality TV wife want me there or not.”

Jules stands and walks over to me. My heart races with anticipation of what she might try. For years she’s been my weakness, my go-to when shit was hard and by my side when things were good. If I hadn’t met Joey, I’d probably be back to my on again off again bullshit with Jules.

“You don’t want to be like your father, do you, Josh? The absent dad who never paid attention to his son, until his son made a name for himself? You don’t want to be a father who never sees their child because your current wife doesn’t allow it? How much did you suffer as a child? Are you telling me that you’d do this to your own flesh and blood?”

She has me by the balls, in a tight vise grip. Jules knows everything about my family and how much I hated growing up with absent parents, which is the main reason I don’t want children. Movie sets aren’t a place to raise a family and knowing my wife and child are home without me for months on end would kill me. The fact of the matter is, I’d have to be an absent father or quit my job and the latter isn’t going to happen. That’s one of the reasons why I think it’s best for me to never have children.