Two Alone (31 page)

"My father only wants me to do well."

"What
h
e
considers well. You're a beautiful, intelligent woman. A loving daugh
t
er. You have a career, and you're successful. Isn't that enough for him?"

"No!
1
mean, yes, of course it's enough. It's just that he wants me to live up to my potential."

"Or Jef
f’
s." She
t
ried to move away, but he held her back by her shoulders. "Like
t
hat hunting trip to Great Bear Lake."

"
I
told you that that was my idea, not Father's."

"But why did you feel that it was necessary to go? Why was it your responsibility to uphold the tradition he had shared with Jeff? You only wen
t
because you thought it might please your father."

"What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing. If it was strictly a gesture of self-sacrifice, of love. But by going, I think you set out to prove something to him; I think that you wanted your fa
t
her to see that you're as marvelous as Jeff was."

"Well, I failed."

"Tha
t
's my point!" he shouted. "You don't like hunting and fishing. So what? Why should that make you a failure?"

She managed
t
o wrest herself free. Once she was on her feet, she spun around to face him. "You don't understand, Cooper."

"Obviously I
don't. I don't see why being exactly what you are isn't enough for your father. Why do you continually have to prove yourself to him? He lost
h
is son: unfortunate; tragic. But he's still got a daughter. And he's trying to shape her into something she isn't. You're both obsessed with Jeff. Whatever else he did, I'm fairly sure he didn't walk on water."

Rusty aimed an accusing finger at him. "You're a fine one to preach about other people's obsessions. You nurse your hurt ob
sessively

. You actually take pleasure in your despair."

"That's nuts."

"Precisely. It's easier for you
t
o sit up there on your mountain than it is to mix with other human beings. Then you might have
t
o open yourself up a little, let people get a peek at the man you are inside. And that terrifies you, doesn't it? Because you might be found out. Somebody might discover that you're not the hard, cold, unfeeling bastard you pretend to be. Someone might decide that you're capable of giving and receiving love."

"Baby,
I
gave up on the idea of love a long time ago."

"Then what was that all about?" She gestured toward the bed.

"Sex." He made the word sound as dirty as possible.

Rusty
recoiled from the ugliness of his tone, but tossed
her
head back proudly. "Not to me. I love you, Cooper."

"So you said."

"I meant it!"

"You were in the throes of passion when you said it. That doesn't count."

"You don't believe that
I
love you?"

"No. There's no such thing."

"
Oh
, there is," She played her trump card. "You still love your
unborn
c
hild.
"

"Shut up."

"You grieve for it still because you loved it. You s
t
ill love a
ll
those men you saw die in that prisoner-of-war camp."

"Rusty..." He came off the bed and loomed over her threateningly.

"You watched your mother spend her life nursing her anger and bitterness. She thrived on her misfortune. Do you
want
to waste your life like that?"

"Better that than to live like you, constantly striving to be someone
y
ou're not."

Hostility crackled between them. It was so strong that at first they didn't even notice the doorbell. It wasn't until Bill Carlson called
o
ut his daughter's name
th
at they realized they weren't alone.

"Rusty!"

"Yes, Father." She dropped back onto the edge of the bed and started yanking on her clothes.

"Is everything okay? Whose beat-up old car is
t
hat out front?" "I'll be right out, Father."

Cooper was pulling on his clothes with considerably more composure than she. She couldn't help but wonder if this was the first time he had found himself in an awkward situation like this, maybe with the untimely appearance of a husband.

Once they were dressed, he helped her to her feet and handed her her crutches. Together they went through the bedroom door and down the hall. Red-faced, knowing chat her hair was in wild rumble and that she smelled muskily of sex, Rusty entered the living room.

Her father was impatiently pacing the hardwood floor. When he turned around and saw Cooper, his face went taut with disapproval. He treated Cooper to a frigid stare before casting his judgmental eyes on his daughter.

"I hated to let a day go by without coming to see you."

"Thank you, Father, but it really isn't necessary for you to stop by every day."

"So I see."

"You...you remember Mr. Landry."

The two men nodded to each other coolly, taking each other's measure like opposing champion warriors who would decide the outcome of a battle. Cooper kept his mouth stubbornly shut. Rusty couldn't speak; she was too embarrassed. Carlson was the first to break the stressful silence.

"Actually, this is an opportune meeting," he said. "I have something to discuss with both of you. Shall we sit down?"

"Surely,"
Rusty
said, flustered. "I'm sorry. Uh, Cooper?" She gestured toward a chair. He hesitated, then dropped in
t
o the overstuffed armchair. His insolence grated on her raw nerves. She gave him a baleful look, but he was staring at her fa
t
her. He'd wa
t
ched the Gawrylow men with that same kind of suspicious caution. The memory disturbed
Rusty
. What correlation between them and her father was he making in his mind? She moved toward a chair near Carlson.

"What do you want to discuss with us, Father?"

"That land deal I mentioned to you a few weeks ago."

Rusty's lungs caved in. She could feel each membrane giving way, collapsing one on top of the other. Her cheeks paled, and her palms became immediately slick with nervous perspiration. A choir o
f
funeral bells started tolling in her cars. "I thought we had that all settled."

Carlson chuckled amiably "Not quite. But now we do. Now the investors have had a chance to put some concrete ideas on paper. They'd like
t
o present these ideas for Mr. Landry's consideration."

"Somebody wan
t
t
o tell me what the hell is going on?" Cooper rudely interrupted.

"No."

"Of course." Carlson overrode his daugh
t
er's negative reply and seized the floor. In his typically genial manner, he outlined his ideas for developing the area around Rogers Gap into an exclusive ski resort.

Summing up, he said, "Before we're done, working with only the most innovative architects and builders, it will rival Aspen, Vail
,
Keys
t
one, anything in the Rockies or around Lake
Tahoe. In several years I'll bet we could swing the Winter Olympics our way." Leaning back in his chair and smiling expansively, he said, "Well, Mr. Landry, what do you think?"

Cooper, who hadn't so much as blinked an eye during Carlson's recital, slowly rolled of
f
his slouching spine and came
t
o his fee
t
. He circled the island of furniture several times as though considering the proposal from every angle. Since he owned some of
t
he land
t
hat would be used—Carlson had done his homework—and had been offered the salaried, figurehead position as local coordinator of the project, he stood to make a great deal of money.

Carlson glanced at his daughter and winked, assured of capitulation.

"What do I think?" Cooper repeated.

"That's what
1
asked," Carlson said jovially.

Cooper looked him straight in the eye. "I think
you
are full of garbage, and I
t
hink your
idea
sucks." Fie dumped those words in the middle of
t
he floor like a
t
on of bricks, then added, "And for your information, so does your daughter."

He gave
Rusty
a look that should have turned her to stone. He didn'
t
even deign to slam the door shut behind himself after he stamped out. They heard his car roar to life, then the crunch of gravel as he steered out of her driveway.

Carlson harrumphed and said, "Well,
I
see
t
hat
1
was right about him all along."

Knowing that she would never recover from
t
he wound Cooper had inflicted on her, Rusty said dully, "You couldn't be more wrong, Father."

"He's crude."

"Honest."

"A man without ambition or social graces." "Without pretenses."

"And apparently without morals. He took advantage of your solitude and confinement."

She laughed softly. "I don't remember exactly who dragged whom into the bedroom, but he certainly didn't force me into bed with him."

"So you
are
lovers?"

"Nor anymore," she said tearfully.

Cooper thought she had betrayed him, too, just like that other woman. Melody. He thought she had been her father's instrument, using bedroom tactics to turn a profit. He would never forgive her, because he didn't believe that she loved him.

"You've been his lover all this time? Behind my back?"

She started to point out that ac the ripe old age of twenty-seven she shouldn't have to account to her father for her private life. But what was the use? What did it matter? The starch had gone out of her. She felt sapped of strength, of energy, of the will to live.

"When
we
w
ere in Canada, yes. We became lovers. When he left my hospital room
t
hat day, he
went
home and hasn't been back since. Not un
t
il this afternoon."

"Then apparently he has more sense than I gave him credit for. He realizes that the two of you are completely incompatible. Like most women, you're looking at the situation through a pink fog of romance. You're letting your emotions rule you instead of your head. 1 thought you were above that fema
l
e frailty."

"Well, I'm not, Father. A female is what I happen to be. And
I have all the frailties, as well as all the strengths, that go with being a woman."

He came to his feet and crossed
th
e room. He gave her a conciliatory hug. She was standing on her crutches so he didn't notice how stiffly she held herself in resis
t
ance to his embrace. "I can see that Mr. Landry has upset you again. He truly is a scoundrel
t
o have said what he did about you. You're better off without him, Rusty, believe me.

"However," he continued briskly, "we won't let his lack of charm keep us from doing business with him. I intend to move forward with our plans in spite of his objections to them."

"Father, I beg you—"

He laid a finger against her lips. "Hush, now. Let's not talk anymore tonight. Tomorrow you'll feel be
t
ter. You're still emotionally overwrought. Having surgery so soon after the plane crash probably wasn't such a good idea. It's perfec
t
ly understandable that you're not quite yourself. One of these days you'll come to your senses and return to being the old Rusty. I have every confidence that you won't disappoint me."

He kissed her forehead. "Good night, my dear. Look over this proposal," he said, withdrawing a file folder from his lizard briefcase and laying it on the coffee table. "I'll drop by tomorrow morning, eager to hear your opinion."

After he left, Rusty locked up her house and returned to the bedroom. She bathed, languishing in a hot bubble bath. She'd taken one every day since the doctor had said it was okay to get her leg wet. But once she was dried, lotioned, and powdered, she s
t
ill hadn't rid her body of the traces of Cooper's lovemaking. She was pleasan
t
ly sore between her thighs. The blemish he'd
left on her breast s
t
ill showed up rosily, as indelible as a ta
t
too. Her lips were tender and puffy. Every
t
ime she wet them with her tongue, she could taste him.

Looking a
t
herself in the mirror, she admitted that he was right. She
did look
as if she'd just been engaged in rowdy lovemaking.

Her bed seemed as large and empty as a football field during the off-season. The linens s
t
ill smel
l
ed like Cooper. In her mind she relived every moment they'd spent together
t
hat afternoon— the giving and taking of pleasure; the exchange of erotic dialogue. Even now, his whispered, naughty words echoed through her mind, causing her to
bl
ush hotly all over.

She yearned for him and could find no comfort in the thought that her life would be a series of empty days and joyless nights like this one.

She'd have her work, of course.

And her father.

Her wide circle of friends.

Her social activities.

It wouldn't be enough.

There was a great big hole where
t
he man she loved should be.

She sat up in bed and clutched the sheet against her, as chough the realization she'd just had would get away from her if she didn'
t
hold on to it until she could act upon it.

Her choices were clear. She could either roll over and plav dead. Or she could fight for him. Her main adversary would be Cooper himself. He was mule-headed and mistrustful. But eventually she would wear him down and convince him
t
hat she loved him and
t
hat he loved her.