Two Sides of Terri (3 page)

She snaked her hand into my pants and stroked my cock, which was surprisingly—to me at least—rock hard.

“No, of course not.”

“That’s because you don’t want people to think I’m a whore. See, the worst thing for a guy, if you’re into a girl, is to end up in the
friend zone
, right?”

I nodded. She was jerking me hard enough to make it hard to talk.

“Well, the worst thing for a girl is ending up in the
whore zone
.”

“But you did end up dating him...I mean, Chucky, didn’t you?”

“Sort of, but it never worked out. Never had a chance. Even if he wasn’t an asshole, he’d have always just seen me as a whore. So we just ended up as friends with benefits...except we were never really friends...just the benefits.”

I shuddered, half from the way she was rubbing my cock head, half from the realization of what she had just said.

“So, what? You were just fuck buddies?”

“Something like that.”

“How’d that... how’d that work?” I stammered.

“Well, some nights he’d get horny and send me a text, and some nights I’d get horny and send him one.”

“And then what? You’d just go over and fuck him?”

She shook her head as if scandalized. “No.” She paused. “Usually, I’d suck his cock first.”

I was dripping pre-cum now, making her handjob sloppier.

“And then what?” I groaned.

“You mean after I sucked his cock? Or after we fucked?”

“Fucked,” I replied, my mouth completely dry.

“Well then I’d go home, silly. Chucky was never one for making a girl breakfast.”

I stared at her wide-eyed.

“Does that bother you, sweetie? Thinking of me getting booty called? Going to a man’s apartment just for sex? Getting fucked silly, and then leaving without even getting cab fare? Does that bother you?”

“Yes,” I grunted, but at the same moment, my cock exploded, drenching her hand and my boxers in jism.

She pulled her hand out of pants and licked her fingers clean.

“Hmmm, talk about a mixed message.” She shot me an amused grin.

“We... we still need to talk,” I stammered.

“We sure do, honey, but not tonight. I’m pretty sure where that would lead, and I’m still sore from last night. So I think we’re going to have to postpone our exploration of my sordid, tawdry, dirty past. So if you don’t mind, I’m going take a shower, and then go to sleep.”

I was speechless. As much because of her explanation as my own reaction to it.

“Okay,” I muttered lamely as she casually stripped off her clothes and walked confidently into the bathroom.

--------

I spent much of the next day trying to make sense of my emotions. There were many things that I didn’t understand. Terri’s
whore zone
and
friend zone
comparison felt, I dunno, just like one of those things women say that sound reasonable, but are just a way to let a man down easy.

I couldn’t avoid comparing her behavior with me with her conduct with Chucky. It wasn’t just how long she’d made me wait; it was also what she’d done with him. That phrase,
there are lots of things I’ve only ever done with Chucky
gnawed at me, especially since every time I replayed it in my mind, the word
lots
became more emphasized, more fraught with meaning. It seemed to cover an endless variety of
sordid, dirty, tawdry
conduct.

The more I thought about it, the more I imagined Terri with Chucky, doing...things... things that I didn’t even dare verbalize to myself. Every crazy, filthy image I’d ever witnessed, and there were a lot after twenty years of viewing porn, I suddenly replayed with my wife and her ex-lover as protagonists.

Worse, I didn’t know what to think of it. My emotions were whiplashing back and forth. I was shocked, angry, disappointed to find out she’d been such a dirty slut, even though I didn’t even know what she’d actually done—and I wasn’t sure I even wanted to know. All I had was my fevered imagination.

And then sometimes, I was just jealous that she wasn’t a dirty slut with me. I wanted her to be that girl from the party, blowing me in a car, stripping naked and playing with herself, urging me to fuck her hard.

What the hell did I want? Did I want her to be a
good girl
? Or a
bad girl
but just with me? Or, Jesus, and this was the darkest thing, did I actually like the idea of her having a dark, dirty past. The reality was, I wasn’t getting hard thinking of fucking her. I was getting hard imagining her fucking
him
.

CHAPTER 3:
IMPLICATIONS

“We need to talk,” I said as we settled in bed.

She laughed. “Oh God, you’re insatiable.”

“You’re having fun with this,” I replied a little irritably.

“Well, you have to admit, it is funny. I mean, you’re like Pavlov’s dog, except that instead of salivating at the ringing of a bell, you’re popping wood at the sound of the name
Chucky
.”

“That’s not true.”

“It
is
true.”

I shook my head. I didn’t want to argue the point, especially since deep inside I knew she was right.

“Okay, what are we talking about tonight?” There was that amused smirk again.

I sighed. This wasn’t going like I’d hoped. I’d been on an emotional roller coaster for the last two days. I wanted her to take it more seriously. I wanted her to apologize—or at least act a little embarrassed. But no, she just thought it was funny.

“Damn it, Terri, take this serious. I’m upset.”

She rolled her eyes. “Oh, don’t be so melodramatic. You’re not upset. You’re horny, and you’re freaked out about it because you’re not sure what you’re turned on about.”

“Oh, is that it?”

She nodded.

“Well, sorry to break it to you, but that’s not it. I’m genuinely upset. And you’re not helping.”

“Okay, okay.” She composed her face into a passable approximation of sympathy, but still with that little curl of her lips. “Why are you upset?”

I took a deep breath. “I’m upset because...because of the things you did with Chucky.”

“What things?”

“I...I...I don’t even know,” I stammered. “But you said you did
lots
of things only with him. So maybe we should start with that. What did you do with him?”

“Nuh uh, I’m not going to play
that
game. I’m not going to list sex acts for you to sit there in judgment.”

“Oh, so now you don’t want to talk.”

“I didn’t say that,” she replied. “But I’m not going to sit here and give you a laundry list. I mean, the specific
did I or didn’t I
isn’t the point anyway, is it?”

“No, the point is that you did things with him that you won’t do with me.”

“
Won’t
?” she asked curiously. “What have I ever refused?”

“I...well...” She was right. She’d never actually shot down anything. She always game in her own way. “That’s not the point.”

She smiled. “Of course it is. It takes two to tango.”

“What does that mean?” I grunted, feeling oddly defensive.

She sighed. “Look, I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, because it really isn’t a criticism, I swear. But, well, you’re not the whips and chains kind of guy, are you?”

“Oh, and you are?” I snapped, immediately regretting it. She was obviously much more sexually adventurous than I was. Kindly, she didn’t call me on it.

“No, I’m not,” she replied. “And that’s why we work well together.”

“Well, what about the things you did with Chucky?” A series of depraved acts flashed through my mind.

“Look, half the fun of sex comes from giving pleasure, yes?”

I nodded a bit skeptically.

She continued. “It feels good, of course, but part of what makes it great is seeing your partner enjoying himself.”

I groaned. She seemed to be describing herself as a complete slut, a woman who would do anything she was asked.

“So what, you never say no? Whatever a guy wants, a guy gets?”

Anger flashed in her eyes.

“Listen mister, I’m a skinny blond girl with big tits. I’ve been attracting creeps since I was 13. But here I am, 20 years later, and I can count my sexual partners on the fingers of one hand... well, two hands, but with fingers left over. So don’t make it seem like I’m some roundheel who never said no.”

“But you didn’t say no to Chucky.”

Her smirk returned.

“No, I didn’t.”

“Why? What makes him so special? Did he have a huge cock or something?” I blurted out, immediately wishing I could claw it back.

She giggled. “Oh God, men are crazy. I swear you boys are bigger size queens than any woman I’ve ever met.”

“Well then, what?”

She paused. “I’m not sure, to tell you the truth,” she replied thoughtfully. “He was handsome and funny and confident and older. And I guess it was the right time in my life. I was out of college, on my own. I was trying to find myself. And most of all, I think he seemed safe somehow. The kind of guy who wanted sex in a bar bathroom, but didn’t seem likely to throw your body in a ditch afterwards.”

“That’s it?”

“Yeah, I guess. Would you rather I replied that it was because he was hung like a horse?”

She lunged for me suddenly, her hand rubbing my crotch. I was rock hard. She smiled.

“Was he?” I choked out.

She rubbed my erection up and down. “And what if he was? Would it turn you on to know he was huge?”

“Was he?” I asked again.

She smirked at me again. God I was close. Her hand, her words, that lewd grin...

“No,” she replied softly. “He had a nice cock. Like you. About average, I guess.”

I breathed a sigh of relief. And yet I also felt my excitement fade. It was weird. Was she right? Did I like the idea of her being split open by a porn-sized tool?

She sensed my reaction. Another grin. Then she continued, “Now, his friend Jason, that’s another story.”

“What do you mean,” I asked. “You cheated on Chucky?”

She giggled. “Well, technically, I don’t think you can cheat on a fuck buddy, but no, actually, it was Chucky’s idea. He said he wanted to watch me have sex another man.”

I gasped and felt my shorts fill with hot, sticky jism.

“Oh my.” She felt the wetness spread through my jeans. “Do you see why I think you’re more aroused than upset?”

I looked away, embarrassed. It was humiliating. She was right. I was turned on by the thought of her with another man...men.

“Why don’t you get cleaned up and I’ll tell you the rest of the story.”

I nodded mutely and lumbered into the bathroom. I ducked into the shower, and turned the water up way hot. This had to stop. I didn’t want to hear the rest. I didn’t want to hear anything more. I wanted, more than anything to forget I’d ever heard about Chucky. About the things he’d done with Terri, the things she’d done for him. I didn’t want to know. And yet, even as I repeated that like a mantra, I couldn’t stop the images. And worse, I found I was absentmindedly stroking myself, my erection almost painfully hard.

I turned the temperature to cold, breaking the spell. I stepped out of the shower and dried myself off, changing into a clean pair of boxers to sleep. I was still aroused though as I went back to join Terri in bed. She was wearing a t-shirt. Just a t-shirt I realized as she adjusted herself and flashed me her bare shaven pussy. She patted the bed with her palm.

I climbed in next to her, silently. She took my hand and with her other hand she lifted my chin so that I was looking into her eyes.

“You know this turns me on too, right?”

I looked away.

“I don’t mean talking about Chucky or thinking about the past,” she added hastily. “But seeing you this worked up...it’s hot to realize I can still do that to you.”

She continued, “At first, I regretted saying anything.”

I winced at that. I didn’t like the idea of her keeping secrets either.

“I mean, I was sort of on autopilot that night. And the next day, with your folks and then Herb and Melody around, I kept feeling like I needed to apologize. But then I kept thinking about how excited it got you, and to tell you the truth, I sort of liked having that power over you. I know it makes me sound like a manipulative bitch to admit it, but we’ve been together long enough now that I get a little charge out of pushing your buttons that way.”

“I don’t know what to say,” I muttered.

She smiled. “You don’t have to say anything. Just don’t believe for a minute that I think any less of you for it.”

She took my hand and wedged it between her legs so that I could feel the heat and dampness there. Her other hand slipped into my boxers and firmly gripped my shaft.

“Shall I tell you about Jason?”

For a moment, I couldn’t speak. She’d released my hand and I was now exploring her wet snatch on my own. She moaned softly, squeezing her fingers around my cock in time with my own movements.

“Yes,” I groaned softly.

She smiled.

“I can’t believe you had sex with another man just because Chucky told you to.”

“Oh, it wasn’t quite like that. I sort of had a crush on Jason. Chucky was always teasing me about me wanting to sleep with his friend. But then again, everybody had a crush on Jason. He’s one of those black guys with blue eyes...there’s something about that combination that just...mmm. And he was tall, broad shouldered. A complete stud.”

And he had a huge cock, I thought to myself.

“What did Chucky look like? You never told me.”

“Oh, he was good looking, too. Black Irish. Sort of that Dylan McDermott, Daniel Day-Lewis vibe, you know? But Jason...Jason was just dreamy.”

“So why didn’t you just go after him yourself?”

“Oh, lots of reasons. I mean, girls were always coming on to him, and I didn’t want to be just one of the crowd. And, I dunno, he was a little intimidating, even though he was a really nice guy. Plus, even though Chucky and I weren’t
dating
dating, I was sort of his girl.”

“But Chucky liked to tease me about it. He’d catch me stealing a glance at Jason and call me out, bust my chops right in front of him. You know, being an asshole. But then he started encouraging it. During sex, he’d be like,
so are you thinking of Jason?
And then later, he started talking about how he wanted me to do it, how he wanted to watch me having sex.”