Two Weeks (35 page)

I'm not ready to talk about last night, so I change the focus. "What's it like being married with a kid?"

His face scrunches up as he thinks. "Hard sometimes. I mean, I miss the old days now and then. But I'd be lying if I said that having Ava wasn't the best thing that's ever happened to me. She's just... so perfect and beautiful. I know I'm gushing, but I can't help it." He gives me a droopy grin.

There's a powerful look of honesty on his face that makes me feel weak—and a little jealous. I have no way to know how he feels, how it feels to have a child, a person formed from his own flesh and blood. It's changed him a lot.

I take advantage of the lull in the conversation. "How do you want your coffee?" I ask.

"Cream and sugar."

I prepare it for him and set it on a coaster on the coffee table. He takes a tentative sip, and then smiles. "Thanks. I
really
needed this. I feel like total shit."

"No problem." I pour myself a cup and rejoin him.

"Listen," Jeff starts, and then pauses. It's clear that he's got something heavy on his mind.

"Yeah?"

He takes a long sip from his coffee and returns it to the table. "I'm really sorry for what I did to you, Jackson. It wasn't supposed to happen that way. And then your parents... well, I didn't know how to deal with it. I turned into a big dick." It's taking a lot of effort for him to get the words out. "You needed support and I was just pissed because of that thing with Manda."

"Jeff, it's okay, really," I say. I'm worried he's about to fall apart if I don't slow his self-flagellation.

"It's
not
okay," he says. "We could have been friends all these years, but I burned the bridges. I was too immature to handle reality."

I can't allow him to take all the blame. "We both were. I mean, I
did
sleep with Manda. But I was drunk and she said you guys weren't dating. I never would have done that under normal circumstances. I was really desperate for companionship after everything happened."

Jeff frowns. "She was such a bitch, though. Not worth it. After I broke up with her a few months later, she keyed my car and then tried to break into my apartment. I caught her at the door with a crowbar trying to rip it open. I was worried she was going to attack me, but she just screamed and scurried away like a wild animal."

"Jesus, what did she want?"

"I don't know since she already came by and grabbed all of her stuff a week earlier. I never saw her again. I should have called the police, but I didn't." Jeff takes a long, loud sip of the coffee. "Manda was definitely a psycho. Hot, but a psycho."

"She did seem a little crazy when I knew her. I mean, she definitely lied to me."

There's probably a minute of quiet. "I'm just sorry," he says again. "For everything. I can't let this haunt me anymore."

I stare back. "It's okay," I say. "Don't worry about it. And I'm sorry too."

Although a smile starts to form on his face, it's clear that he'll need some time for this to fully set in. "So how long have you been seeing Ally?" He shifts us from the past to the present.

I gulp. Well, he remembers
something
from last night. "Just a little while. It's not too serious." I hope that Ally isn't listening in because the words make me uncomfortable.

"It's okay. I shouldn't have been such a dick about it. It's not my right. Just bottled up feelings from the past."

"I get it, Jeff. You were just trying to protect her. But I'm not like that. I ran into her when she was home for the family reunion. Her boyfriend broke up with her suddenly, so I guess she just wanted to forget the pain. I don't really know." I keep my voice quiet because I don't want to misrepresent her.

"Shit, that Max guy? Really?"

I nod. "I don't know much about him."

"I met him once. Didn't really care for him. He's the son of some big investor. Kind of a pompous dick."

I drink more coffee. "Huh."

We sit in silence for a few moments, and I listen for Ally stirring. Still nothing. "Those guys bailed out on you last night, Jeff," I say. "You fell in the water and the cop wanted to throw you in jail for being belligerent. But Ally stepped in and said we'd take care of you."

He scoffs. "Those assholes. Jenny doesn't like them to begin with. Now she's gonna hate their guts." He picks up his phone and plays with it for a second. "My phone fell in the water too?"

I nod. "It survived somehow."

"Crazy. I never expected this bulky, overpriced case to work."

I smile at him. "You got lucky. So how long are you in town?"

"We're supposed to stay until the weekend. We rented a place on the other side of town." He sets down his phone and drinks more coffee. "I kind of wish I could leave sooner though. I feel like shit after last night. I really miss Ava and Jenny. I'm not so young anymore." His eyes drift off into empty space and I allow the very human moment to remain uninterrupted. "When are you guys leaving?"

"Today. Shortly. Ally flies back to Boston tomorrow."

There's a long pause. Jeff appears to have something on the tip of his tongue, but it's not coming out. He fiddles nervously with his phone. "Do you think I could, uh..."

I cut him off. "Do you want a ride back?"

Jeff smiles sheepishly. "Yeah. If it's not a problem. My car is in Red Lake. I'm not really having a good time here. Those guys are too crazy for me. I can't keep up with them anymore. They're probably already drunk and high again."

"It's no problem at all. I'd be happy to give you a ride."

He smiles, that familiar smile I saw a million times growing up. That smile that came along on so many adventures, so many wonderful experiences. I was certain I'd never see it outside of a photo ever again. "I owe you big time," he says. "For everything. I don't deserve this."

"It's nothing, seriously." I decide it's time to change the subject since this has gone surprisingly well. "How long have you been up here?" I ask him.

"I got to Red Lake late Sunday night. We came up here Monday morning."

"I'm surprised we didn't run into you sooner. We've been here since Sunday."

He looks around the room. "Staying at your parents' old place, huh? I'm so sorry about what happened. Such a tragedy."

"Thanks," I say. "And it's
my
place now," I declare proudly, hoping to deflect his mourning.

Jeff laughs. "Yeah, we just bought a house recently. Needed a lot of work, but it's great now."

As things continue to lighten up, we segue into a variety of other topics and start goofing around like we used to. I can't help but feel like no time has passed at all since we last hung out. It's so easy for Jeff to make me laugh, a fact I'm happy to remember.

I'm in tears as he retells tales from high school, tales in which mischief is the central theme. We're both laughing raucously when Ally finally comes downstairs in that cute blue dress of hers.

"What the hell is so funny down here?" She's feisty.

"Hey, Ally," Jeff says. "I'm sorry about last night. That was... not like me."

"I realize that, Jeff," she says. "It's fine. You were drunk. Do mom and dad know you're here?"

"I told them at the last minute," he says. "I left my car at their house. I'm riding back with you guys. Do they know
you're
up here?"

"No," she snaps, "because they were gone when we left. So basically, you skipped the reunion and then came up like a week later? Don't you think they're gonna be pissed?"

I sit back and enjoy the family drama. I know I've got no business getting involved in this.

"Jenny was gone for work and Ava was really sick. Coming home wasn't an option. They didn't care."

"Whatever," she says. "I actually had fun."

Jeff laughs. "I'm surprised. I know you don't like hanging out with rednecks."

"Well, I didn't say that. Anyway, I've been having more fun here than I ever thought possible. Maybe the country folk have got it all figured out."

"You never gave us any credit," I say chidingly. "We know how to have a good time."

Jeff laughs. This is all so unreal. It's been one hell of a week, that's for sure. I'm still shocked by everything that's transpired. Thankfully, I don't have a fight this week. I'm way behind on training and aching to get back into my routine.

Ally downs one cup of coffee with us, and then we all go out to breakfast—Jeff's treat. Ally, in an attempt to fulfill her "wild fantasy," ends up asking if she can get a pancake combo, which initially confuses the waiter. After he comes back from the kitchen and says it's okay, enabled by her bravery, we all end up ordering the same—one chocolate chip, one blueberry, and one banana pancake.

All delicious.

The whole breakfast feels surreal since I've never actually spent time with both siblings as adults. They really amuse me and their banter is quite funny. No matter what, they're always finding something about the other to niggle at.

Ally complains that Jeff chews too loudly and so then Jeff complains that she slides the fork against her teeth and the sound drives him crazy.

I remain silent and try not to laugh. This whole experience has taken my mind off Vince and the league and everything else that confuses me.

After we pack up at my place, I drive Jeff over to the other side of town to get his stuff. We stay in the truck.

"I'll be back in a couple of minutes," he says. He gently closes the door and jogs into the house.

"This is crazy." Ally says. "Seeing you two getting along after all of that. It's awesome."

"It's crazy to me to see you two
not
get along," I say jokingly.

"It's all in fun," she says defensively. "He's kind of a brat sometimes."

I wink at her. "Well, so are you."

She scoffs and crosses her arms over her chest abjectly. "Whatever, Jackson. Taking his side again already, I see. Some things never change."

We continue goofing around while we wait. I'm surprised Ally's in such a good mood given the fact that this is our last day together.

But maybe that's how things go—when I'm feeling down, she's goofy, and when she's feeling down, I'll be the one to even things out. I don't know. I feel a lot of different things right now.

Regret. Angst. Depression. Excitement. Thankfulness. Reunion.

It's like all of the loose ends in my life suddenly met in the center and were somehow joined back together in one hell of a knot. I'm miserable and glad all at once.

I talk to Ally about her flight. It's at eight in the morning and it's an almost a two hour drive to the airport from Red Lake. She needs to arrive an hour and a half early, so she's going to have to be on the road around four-thirty.

"That's so early," I remark.

"It was the only open flight after I changed from the previous one."

"Yeah. If you want eight hours of sleep, you're going to have to hit the hay at eight tonight," I say wryly.

"I'm definitely
not
going to get eight hours."

"So what are we doing when we get back into town?" I ask.

She fidgets uncomfortably. "I guess I'll pack and then we can meet up again after that. I'd like to eat dinner with my parents—well, and Jeff too. They'll probably be really excited about a family meal."

I feel a pang of sadness as I realize this breakfast might have been our last meal together. I'm getting sentimental, but that's all I've got. It's my own fault for getting carried away like this.

I could have guarded my feelings better. I
should
have.

The door suddenly swings back open and Jeff hops into the back with his suitcase. "Sorry," he says with some agitation. "They tried to convince me to stay, so I had to talk my way out of it."

"Do you think you'll ever come up here with them again?" Ally asks.

Jeff buckles his seatbelt before he speaks. I back out of the driveway and head out of town.

"You know, I really haven't seen those guys in a long time. Like, this
used
to be a regular thing, but we didn't go the last two years. When Travis contacted me, I thought it would just... be the same now. After all that's changed in my life, I'd meet up with them and everything would be like the old days. I'd feel like I used to before responsibility crept in." He falls silent and neither of us want to interrupt his deliberate pause. "I've got a good job now. I have a lot of responsibility. I settled down. I can't go on weeklong drinking binges with unemployed people my age that still live with their parents."

It's this monologue that reminds me just how different the two of us are at this point in our lives—but it doesn't make me feel distant or alienated. I still see the same guy I used to, only he's in different circumstances now, just like me.

"Ava's pretty damn cute," Ally says warmly.

"Yeah. You don't even know. I'm always worrying about her. The only reason I was getting so drunk is because I was terrified that something would happen to them while I was gone. That I wouldn't be there to protect them. I couldn't push it out of my mind."

I realize how similar I felt when my parents died. I felt like I should have been able to protect them somehow. But it was random chance. Something that went tremendously wrong.

And had I been in the house that night, I would have died too.

I don't speak up though. I don't want to be a downer. Jeff is talking about his current life, the life he's still in control of.

"You okay, Jackson?" Ally asks.

"I'm fine," I say. "Just watching the beautiful hills rolling by."

"So you're quite the fighter now, Jackson, huh?" Jeff asks. "I've heard you might go pro."

I nod. "I might, I guess. I mean, I work hard and people want me to do more stuff. So maybe."

"You're really lucky he kept his cool last night, Jeff," Ally says proudly."I've seen what he's capable of."

Jeff laughs hard from the back seat. "I'm such an idiot. I can't pick a fight with you. I'm actually
lucky
I fell in the water." He groans. "That reminds me, I didn't take a shower yet."

We all groan and laugh together, like the cheesy ending of a sitcom. But for some reason, it's not cheesy.