What the…?
Jax stirs in my arms, but my hold on him tightens.
“Zane… You told him?” I whisper.
Zane’s eyes are flat. “I didn’t, though I was tempted. He overheard Audrey talking to Tessa on the phone.”
Crap.
“Is he okay? Have you tried calling him?”
“He isn’t answering his phone.” Zane pulls his cell from his back pocket, glances at it, shoves it back in. “He took it harder than I expected. Then again, I didn’t know you two had gotten closer while I was away.”
God.
“What’s your deal anyway?” Asher paces up and down. “Why not tell him you’re not interested?”
“And since when do you care about your brother getting hurt?” I ask before my mouth catches up with my brain.
A dark scowl settles over his face, and his hands fist.
“Ash…” Audrey steps in Asher’s path and slides her arms around him. “Stop.”
He does, surprisingly.
I suck in a deep breath. “I’m sorry,” I say.
“Sorry.” He says it without inflection, which is even more chilling than his anger before.
I force my voice not to wobble, despite this mess. “Sorry for what I said. Sorry for being so awful to you, Asher. I was wrong, and—”
“Mommy,” Jax whispers plaintively and wraps his little arms around my neck. His hood is falling back, baring his wild dark curls.
“
Mommy?”
Zane echoes and strides across the room, stopping a few feet away from me. “Erin…”
Asher has paled and is crushing Audrey to him. Her green eyes are round like coins. Rafe is staring at me as if I’ve grown antennae, and Zane… his gaze is full of questions.
“Who is this little guy?” he asks softly.
I blow a wisp of hair out of my eyes and suck in a deep breath. “Everyone, this is Jax.”
***
“Look at him.” Audrey brushes a lock of dark hair off Jax’s forehead, a smile to her ears. “Isn’t he the cutest thing?”
Jax turns his face away, burying it in my shoulder.
“He’s a bit shy.” I rub his back.
Asher walks behind me, and Jax giggles. Asher laughs.
Beautiful sounds. Audrey joins Asher, and they laugh together.
“Okay, what are you doing behind my back?” I try to see, but Jax is in the way.
“He’s licking your shoulder,” Audrey helpfully explains.
I sigh.
Typical.
Zane walks behind me, too, his eyes narrow. “He sort of reminds me of someone,” he mutters.
“All kids look the same to me,” Rafe says and sinks into one of the orange armchairs. He’s smiling, though. “Little hurricanes.”
The door of the shop chimes as it opens, and Tessa walks in. “Erin? Audrey says you have…“ Her face lights up. “Oh my God, is that Jax?”
“You knew,” Zane says accusingly, and Tessa shrugs. She tickles Jax’s cheek.
Jax starts to wiggle, and I swear his tiny boots must have steel toes. Wincing, I lower him to the ground, and he runs to check out the booths.
“Are the booths safe?” I start after him, but Zane takes my hand.
“All tools are locked away. It’s safe.”
“You had us fooled for years.” Rafe chuckles to himself. “Always thought Jax was your boyfriend.”
Yeah.
I’m tired from the drive and all the emotions rocketing inside my head. “He’s been my secret all this time. I had him very young, and I thought he’d be safer and happier living with my parents.”
Audrey comes to take my other hand. “He’s amazing. You must be so proud of him.”
“I am.”
A heavy hand lands on my back, and I jerk. Asher appears in my line of sight. “Sorry about before. Looks like it’s a misunderstanding.”
“Damn right it is.” Zane lets go of my hand and pulls out his cell phone again. “Didn’t I tell you fuckers you should talk to each other more? Secrets are bad for your health.” He calls a number which I assume is Tyler’s, and clenches his jaw.
After a while, he pushes the cell back into his pocket. Still not answering.
I pull away from Audrey and try to call him from mine. It goes to voicemail and I hesitate. “Call me back, Tyler,” I finally say. “It’s a misunderstanding.”
The beep ending the message comes before I can think of more to say. I put the phone away.
“Where’s Tyler?” Tessa is pulling off her scarf, eyes scanning the shop. “How did he react?”
“Why should he react—?” Audrey snaps her mouth shut, then glances at Asher, who blinks.
“What?” he mutters.
“As I said, he reminds me of someone,” Zane says. “He has something of you, too, Ash.”
Does he?
Asher’s face is handsome, and in the strong lines of his brows and jaw I think I see what makes him Tyler’s brother.
Jax’s uncle.
“You guys.” Tessa giggles. “You should see your faces.”
“Your face looked exactly the same when I told you,” I mutter as I lean to the side, trying to see Jax among the booths.
“He’s
Tyler’s
?” Asher asks, breathless.
Everyone is looking at me again. Do I even need to answer that?
“But that must be… he’s…” Audrey also glances around for Jax. “Three?”
“Yeah,” I whisper, and suddenly, fear grips me. “Jax! Where are you?”
“She must have been, what, fifteen when she had him?” Audrey is saying.
“Sixteen,” Tessa says. “She’s a year older than us.”
“And that was around the time Tyler left, right?”
“Yeah, but he didn’t know…”
Their voices fade as I walk through the booths, calling Jax’s name and checking under the tables and chairs and counters. The office is locked. I check the bathroom and come back to the front of the shop, empty-handed.
I feel dizzy. The door is open—a small crack, but maybe enough for a little boy to slip through. “Jax!”
“What’s going on?” Rafe grabs my arms, and I realize I’m stumbling. “Erin?”
“Jax is gone.” I tug on Rafe’s hold, trying to keep moving, and point a trembling finger at the door. “I think he got out.”
***
It must be cold, but I can’t feel it as I run down the street with Audrey and Asher, calling Jax’s name. Fear numbs my body and makes my thoughts spin slowly and out of control.
What kind of mother loses her son? Jax has to be so frightened. He’s in danger with cars speeding down the street and strangers passing him by.
If anything happens to him…
My cell rings, and I lift it to my ear. “Yeah?”
“Have you found him?” Zane yells into the phone.
“No. Where are you?”
“Returning to Damage. I’ll check one last time inside, in case he hid under the furniture or something.”
“Okay.” I disconnect and stop. “Let’s go back.”
We turn back and jog toward the shop. We enter, and I brace myself against the wall, trying to catch my breath. Audrey leans against the desk.
Asher immediately starts searching. He lifts tables, chairs, bends under the desk to look. I join him, checking again the booths, one by one, below the counters, behind the chairs. I look inside trash containers, behind doors. I see Rafe come out of the bathroom, but I go in and check anyway.
I just can’t believe this is happening. My pulse thunders inside my head. My mouth is dry with fear.
“Erin.” Zane walks around the booths, his face a stony mask. “He’s not here.”
My heart sinks. “I’m calling the police.”
I pull out my cell. My hands shake so badly I almost drop it. I turn back toward the shop front, and it’s all blurry. I realize tears are burning my eyes.
Then the door chimes. I dash the tears away and blink at the tall figure who has entered the shop. Wide shoulders, short dark hair, inky eyes.
And on one arm he’s holding Jax.
The cell phone drops from my hand and crashes to the floor. Tessa comes to take my hand, and Audrey takes the other, the guys flanking them.
“What’s this, a welcoming committee?” Tyler’s voice is rough, and his eyes glisten. He hefts the little boy easily, as if he weighs nothing.
“We were worried, fucker.” Zane nods at him. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah.” Tyler looks straight at me. “I gave it some thought and decided I’m done running. That I should stay and talk this over with Erin. Besides, I promised Ash I’m staying.”
Asher snorts and grins.
“Tyler…” I press a hand to my stomach. I think I might get an ulcer like my mother with all that’s been going on. “Where did you find him?”
“This little guy?” Tyler sounds bemused. “Right around the corner where I was parking my bike. Says his name’s Jax. Strange, huh?”
I nod, biting my lip because I want to laugh hysterically or sob. Maybe both. This isn’t the way I’d imagined them meeting.
Jax snuggles closer, one little arm hugging Tyler’s broad chest. Tyler stares down at him, a strange expression painted on his face, caught between tenderness and confusion.
“Thank you for bringing him back,” I whisper.
“Mommy.” Jax lifts his head and smiles at me.
“Is he yours, then?” Tyler’s eyes harden.
“Yes.”
But Tyler makes no move to give him to me, and Jax seems way too comfortable where he is.
“Tyler, man…” Rafe starts toward him, but Tyler lifts a hand, stopping him.
“Is he…?” Tyler swallows hard and glances back down at Jax’s tousled head resting on his shoulder. “Dammit, Erin, he looks a lot like me.”
“He’s your son.” I take a step closer, then another. “I should have told you. I’m sorry. I’m—”
Tyler unfolds a long arm and snags me around the waist, drawing me to his side. His scent of musk and pine mingles with the leather of his jacket, and it calms my racing heart. I put my arm around him and the other around Jax’s little form, who’s so content where he is he doesn’t even ask me to pick him up.
“So this is Jax.” Tyler sounds thoughtful, and I don’t know what he’s thinking.
“He likes you,” I mutter.
“He’s a cool kid.” Tyler grins. “Besides, he won’t let go.”
“I won’t, either.”
Tyler chuckles, a low, rumbling sound in his chest, and hugs me tighter. “I sure hope not.”
Does he mean it?
Then Jax lifts his head again and gives Tyler a solemn look. “Are you my daddy?”
I wait, my heart thumping.
“Yeah,” Tyler says, his voice gruff. “Yeah, I am.”
“You’ve come back.”
Tyler nods, and his lashes look wet. “Yeah. It took me a long time, I know, but now I’m here.” He gazes at his son’s face and smiles. “And I promise I’ll stay.”
Tyler
Wrapping my head around the fact I have a son is fucking hard. But I’ve seen him, held him, talked to him, and he’s an awesome little boy. Fearless. Outspoken. He looks like me. And he smells of sugar and candy, like his mom.
I can’t imagine what she must have gone through to have him. So young. Without me around to help. She must have been scared.
She’s stronger than me.
The weekend flies by. We spend most of our time at Erin’s and Zane’s apartment, with Jax and anyone else who cares to hang out with us. That means basically all the guys dropping by at different times. They bring food and drinks, and we put music. Everyone wants to play with Jax, and I feel so damn proud.
Which is absurd. I’ve just met him. But whenever he turns to me and says “Daddy!” I want to laugh out loud with joy.
I have a family. I have Erin, Asher and Jax. And I can’t remember ever being happier in my life.
After everyone’s gone and Jax is fast asleep, we talk. I tell Erin more about Uncle Jerry and my life in Chicago, about James and even Marlene to whom I have sent a message letting her know I’m with someone else and to fuck off. She hasn’t written since. As for James, I told him I’m not moving back to Chicago. He told me he had a gut feeling about it, so he already gave my job to the temp.
That fucker. Then again, I don’t plan on going back, so who cares?
In her turn, Erin told me more about the time I left—about finding out she was pregnant, about the hormone changes and terrible mood swings that led to the fight we had. Then we kiss until we pass out on the couch.
Sunday, I drive Erin’s car to her parents’ home. Erin is in the passenger seat, Jax in the back, and I feel like I’m traveling through a dream. I’m in a bit of a shock, I think. When we reach the house and Erin’s dad comes out to greet us, when he claps my back and tells me they’re glad to finally have me back, I stare at him, speechless.
Thank God he laughs and drags me inside. I remember Erin’s mom, a nice lady. When I pass through her cozy kitchen, I decide I’ve solved the mystery of Erin’s and Jax’s sugar scent. I bet Erin’s mom bakes cake every day. There are four of them on the table, decorated with icing and fruit.
We don’t stay long. Her parents offer coffee and cake—
see, I knew it
—and make small talk, asking how I’ve been, and what I do for a living. It’s obvious they know Jax is my son, but they don’t ask why I left.
During the conversation, I find out that having Jax wasn’t easy on Erin. She was in a clinic for two months before the birth and two weeks after, plus that cost a hell of a lot of dollars. And then Erin says she wants to leave college. Because of the debts.
Debts.
I sit up, shaking off my daze. “I’ll help.”
Erin glances at me, the gold and green flecks in her eyes lighting up. “Tyler…”
“I don’t have much, and I pay Ash something to help him finish school, but I have…” I glance at Jax who’s playing with a toy truck on the carpet, then back at Erin’s beautiful face. “I have my bike. It can bring me ten grand, maybe more, and I have my job at Damage Control, so…”
“Tyler, no.” Erin reaches for my hand and tangles her slender fingers with mine. “You love that bike.”
I do, it’s true. But… “Not as much as you.”
Silence settles in the room, and I hope I haven’t said something I shouldn’t have—but Erin presses a feather-light kiss to my cheek.
“Love you, Tyler Grayson.” Her smile is sweet. “We’ll talk about this later, okay? Don’t go selling your bike just yet.”
“As long as you don’t give up on your dreams,” I counter, holding her gaze, letting her know I’m serious. “We can do this together.”
“Oh, he’s a keeper, this one,” Erin’s mom says, and I feel my face heat. Why couldn’t I keep my mouth shut and talk to Erin later, in private?