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I head towards the back of the boy’s dormitory and finally get to the side door. I look through the window to make sure no one is walking down the hall, then I tug at the doorknob. Despite my best efforts, it doesn’t budge an inch, clearly locked for the night.
Seriously
?

My heart stutters and I’m ready to panic . I remember Noah’s advice to act crazy, but decide to try another way in first. Eventually, I reach a first-floor window. It’s open an inch or so, probably to let in some of the spring fresh air. All of the grownups seemed to go overboard about how wonderful the fresh air was at ISTJ, as if they invented it or something. There’s enough room for my fingers, but little else. Putting all of my strength into that hand, I push, then push again. Success! Once the window is open, I use my arms to haul myself up and over. For once being a shrimp is a good thing, as I’m able to fall right through the window without getting stuck. I’ll bet Hannah couldn’t do that!

Once inside ISTJ, a strange feeling comes over me. Being back at my Home School makes me almost miss it. Sure it was a horrible fit for me, but it did have Emily and Noah, and even Aaron. Thinking of Aaron reminds me of the plan and I quickly make my way through what seems like a study room and to a door. Once in the hallway, I head towards a stairwell and climb up two flights. Again I hear Noah’s voice in my ear, guiding me. I reach into my pocket and pull out the little box. After pulling off the lid, I stare at the tiny orange pill for a moment. For a second or two I’m filled with doubt. If this is such a good thing, why wouldn’t James know about it? I give myself a full-body shake to get rid of such thoughts, then stick the pill under my tongue, where it quickly dissolves. After all, if I can’t trust Noah, who can I trust?

Aaron’s room is on the third floor, a single, ever since his roommate suffered from some sort of anxiety problem and was shipped off to Harmony. Unless things have changed in the last week or so, Aaron will be sleeping alone.

Once I find his room, I quickly turn the knob and slip inside. His room is the same size as the one I shared with Emily and Jana, just minus the two extra bodies. Although his room is fairly dark, there’s a bit of light shining through his window, making it easy to spot Aaron lying asleep on his bed. His feet are sticking out from the blankets, just like he used to do when he was five and had sleepovers at my house. For a few moments I stand by his bed, just watching him. When was the last time I was this close to Aaron, without us getting in a fight? As I watch him sleep I realize there’s so much I want to talk to him about, things that have nothing to do with why I’m now here. Friendship things, secrets meant to be shared between best friends
. What happened to us and how can we ever get it back?

Finally I realize I’ve got to start following the plan because time is ticking and that drug is moving through my system, and I move closer to his bed and bend over him. “Aaron,” I whisper, moving my face close to his ear. “You’ve got to wake up!”

Aaron instantly opens his eyes, still the same clear green, and blinks a few times. “Sophie?” he asks loudly. “What are you doing here?”

I put my finger on my lips. “Let me do the talking, okay? I don’t have much time!”

Aaron nods, looking terrified.

“I don’t know how much you know, so here it is. When I was in Temporary I learned that the kids in Full were getting Ended by being given overdoses of zombie drugs. Ended means killed! Some kids were on the waiting list for this to happen and others had already had it done. When I looked in James’ file, it said that it had happened to him.”

Aaron opens his mouth to protest, but I put my finger to my lips again.

“I got your note, so I know you know some of what’s going on. The main thing is that my Dad is in on all of this bad stuff. He knows kids are getting killed, Aaron, he
knows
. The only thing he doesn’t know is that James is alive, he escaped!”

“But you just said—”

I nod. “My dad thinks James is dead and we want to keep it that way. But he got out, he’s okay.” I pause, tears falling down my cheeks despite all my efforts to stay in control, to get through this. “Anyway, as you know, there’s a group of us who want to warn other kids about what is really going on with Typology.” I take a deep breath. “The part that you don’t know is the plan. I’m going to get back into Harmony, to try and find stuff out. I’m going to start acting crazy shortly.”

“Crazy?”

“Yeah, but you need to remember I’m not.” I stare into Aaron’s eyes, trying to get a message through. “No matter what you hear, you have to believe I’m not crazy!’

Aaron nods, putting his chin against his chest. “I still don’t get why you’re here, talking to me.”

“We’re hoping you’ll help us, join us somehow, from inside ISTJ.” I look at him pleadingly. “I know you don’t like going against things, but I also know you don’t like people doing bad stuff, and The Association is definitely doing bad stuff. I got your note, so that’s got to mean something, right?”

“I sent that before Dr. Witmer talked to me,” Aaron says, looking away. “Before he told me all about going to the Elite Academy.”

“The Elite Academy? Are you kidding me? You, as a soldier?”

Aaron’s shoulders stiffen and he turns to face me again. “Why is that so shocking to you? I’m someone who appreciates order and duty, who recognizes the importance of knowing right from wrong and being responsible. Maybe becoming a soldier would be the best fit for me.”

“But don’t you know what the Elite Academy is all about?” I ask. “Don’t you realize it’s meant to train kids to fight against anyone who is challenging what The Association stands for? Did you not hear anything I just told you?”

Aaron shrugs. “Maybe those who challenge the government need to be silenced. Maybe the possibility of having society return to the chaos of the Social Media Era is too risky to allow. Did you ever think of that?”

I take a step away from my former best friend, now clearly a stranger, and possibly even an enemy. “So you’d be willing to do whatever it took to silence my brother? To silence me?”

Aaron suddenly looks me full in the face, his eyes the same green that I always remember and now full of anguish. “I would never do anything to hurt you. You know that, Sophie.
That’s
what the note was supposed to tell you.”

“All I know is that I came to you hoping you’d help me, help us, and instead you’re quoting stupid things you’ve been told by people who want to use you.”

“They aren’t trying to use me! They recognize my potential as a future soldier in this internal war. Already England has been building up its internal army, choosing only the best from either ISTJ or ISTP. Sometimes a few other Home Schools, too, if they see real potential in someone. It’s such an honour to be considered, me, just a First Year. How is that a bad thing?”

I snort.
Noah’s snort
. “Don’t you realize anything, Aaron? Can’t you see they know you’re close to me and they’ll do anything to stop me from influencing anyone else? Having you join the Elite Academy is actually brilliant, because you can turn all your love for me into hate.”

“But I’d never do that.”

“You will, just wait and see.” I pause, and realize all my enthusiasm has cooled, that he sees it, that something has broken between us. “If my Dad can do it, so can you.”

I quickly get off his bed and walk softly towards his door. “Just don’t blab about anything I’ve said. At least don’t do that.”

“I haven’t said anything about your friend Emily, have I?”

I turn back to face Aaron. “What do you know about her?”

He waves his hands. “I know that she’s part of whatever you think you’re doing, even though she acts like she’s the most perfect ISTJ out there. Following everybody, except for me.”

“But you can’t rat her out! You can’t do that to her!”

“Did I ever say I would?”

“No, but you’ve changed so much, I don’t feel like I even know you.”

“I could say the same thing about you,” Aaron whispers.

I stare across the room at my former best friend and he stares back at me. We used to be able to say so much just by looking at each other, but now our messages seem to be falling onto the floor midflight.

“Fine, whatever. Just please keep quiet about Emily and about me, okay? And when you hear from other people that I’ve gone completely crazy, just pretend to believe, but don’t really believe it, okay?” I pause. “And please tell Emily not to believe it, either.”

Aaron looks down at his hands, twisting them. Finally he nods, still staring at his fingers. Will those become the hands of a killer? A shiver goes up and down my back, and I feel frozen in fear.

gh

Step One accomplished, I make my way back outside and head to the girls’ dormitory. This part will be easier, but also more frightening. While I like to tell people I’m good at acting, the truth is I am not even half as good as my sister.
What if people can tell I’m faking? What then
? I take a big breath and try to open their side door. It’s unlocked and opens easily.
It figures
.

CHAPTER TEN

Psychologically, I’m very confused... But personally, I don’t feel bad at all.

—Samson Raphaelson

By the time
I get to the girls’ dorm, a warm glow has ignited somewhere around my middle and now radiates through my arms and legs, all the way down to my fingers and toes. A feeling of wellbeing and peace floods me, until I am almost drowning in it.
Thank you for this, Noah. Thank you! You are a wonderful, wonderful human being!
I look up at the night sky, at the stars that suddenly seem so bright and so beautiful. I wish I could just lie down on the lawn all night, staring up at such beauty.
I think I love those stars
! I start to giggle to myself, but then remember I’m on some sort of a mission. I no longer understand exactly why I’m doing what I’m doing, but I still intend to follow through on the plan.
I love everyone in the Group! I will not let them down
!

I sneak into the girls’ dorm and take the staircase up to my old room. As I open the door, feelings of love and tenderness for the space I used to call home fill up every corner of my insides.
Why did I ever want to leave such a wonderful, amazing room
? I look longingly at my old bed, now empty. I tiptoe over to Emily, who looks like an angel sleeping. Gently, I shake her shoulder.

“Emily! Oh, Emily! It’s me! I’m back!”

Emily opens her eyes and stares at me for a moment, before putting a finger to her lips. “Not so loud!”

“I can’t help it! I’m so glad to see you!” I reach over and grab her tightly. “I’ve missed you! I love you so much!”

Emily pulls away and looks at me. “Did you take something?” she whispers. “Like, a drug?”

I giggle, but nod. “Silly Noah gave me something so that I can seem crazy and get sent back to Harmony, so that Phase A of the plan can start.” I bang my head with the palm of my hand. “Oops! I was supposed to tell you that right away, wasn’t I? I’m so, so sorry, but I needed you to know that I loved you, first!” I crawl onto her bunk and try and get under the covers. “Let’s snuggle, just like we’re having a sleepover! Wouldn’t that be great?”

Emily lifts up her blanket to cover me, then leans close to my ear. “I know you’re drugged right now, but please remember what I’m saying. Remember that I understand what you’re telling me, okay? That Emily
understands
. If you talk to anyone at Harmony, let them know I’m going to get things started here, okay? Please try to remember!”

“Okay,” I say. I grin and reach out to touch her hair. “Your hair is so soft! Did anyone ever tell you it’s so soft? What shampoo do you use?” I lean over and sniff at the strands. “It smells like lilacs! Do you know that? What a wonderful, amazing smell!”

“Sophie, this is important,” Emily whispers, “so please, please listen. In a second I’m going to act shocked that you’re here and I’m going to start yelling. You then can let yourself be as crazy as you want, just don’t tell anyone else about the plan. Whatever you do, no matter what, you mustn’t tell anyone about the plan, okay?” Emily doesn’t sound like the Emily I thought I knew. The old one was so gentle and quiet, so sweet and shy. This one is more like Noah than like Aaron. Still, I can’t help but love her.
She smells like lilacs
!

“Okey dokey, artichokey!” I giggle, then snort.
Emily’s blankets feel so good
!

“Before I forget, first drink this,” she whispers, handing me her full water glass. Suddenly aware that I’m incredibly thirsty, I gulp it down in one go.

“Delicious!” I say.

Emily takes the glass away from me and puts it carefully back on the floor. She then suddenly sits up and begins yelling in her most frightened, old-Emily voice. “OH MY GOD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?” For a second I look around, expecting to see an evil intruder, before realizing that she’s talking about me. I giggle more.

“What’s going on?” I hear a sleepy, annoyed voice from the upper bunk. Jana.

I get out of Emily’s bunk and stick my head up to see Jana. “Hey you!” I say loudly, grinning. “It’s so good to see you! I used to hate you but now I don’t know why!” I reach out to touch her cheek. “Wow, your face is so soft! I think I love your face!”

Jana recoils. “What’s going on, Emily?” she shouts.

Emily gets out of bed and stands near the door. “She must have run away from Harmony. It sounds like she’s gone crazy or something! Let me go get Ms. Williams!” Emily opens the door and heads down the hall. I can hear her footsteps against the floor, like little mice skittering.

“Don’t her feet sound like mice running? If mice were big like people?” I ask Jana, reaching my arm further into her bunk to touch her again. “Do you mind if I climb up there to hug you? I could really, really use a hug, even though I used to hate you!”

Jana holds up her pillow in front of her. “You keep away from me, you crazy, weirdo freak! I always knew there was something wrong with you, and I was right!”