U.G.L.Y (14 page)

     I
headed
east,
now
knowing
the
kids
were
probably
safe
for
the
time
being.
If she had been gone for days then she was 
probably
not
still
on
the
road.
H
er
sister
lived
in
a
more
isolated
place
than
we lived. M
aybe
they
would
be
safe
for
the
time
being.

I
decided
to
find
them.
they
were
in
the
S
ierras,
in
L
ake
Tahoe
city.
T
hat
is
where
I was going. I drove E
ast
to
highway
395
then
headed
north.

The drive would be long. It was dark now and I expected it would take most of the night to drive the full distance. I
settled
in
for
the
long
trip
.
I pulled out an IPod and scanned the list of artists looking for something
soothing
that
would
calm
my
nerves
and
push
the racing
thoughts
out
of
my
mind.

I
believed
the
kids
were
safe,
I
stopped
thinking
about
anything
specific and let my mind clear.
Images
began to flow through my
head
as
the
road stretched out in front of me into the distance.

I
thought
of
a
woman.
When I was unnerved I would often create an image of a woman in my mind. It made me feel warm and peaceful. Usually she was imaginary, something perfect that my senses craved.

My thoughts turned to a woman
from
my
past.
She
was
what
I
found
to
be
most
intriguing
about
the
women
I had known. She was
beautiful,
lustful,
sensual,
and
a
complete
pain
in
the
ass.
She made me anxious and I decided she was the wrong image for me to carry to try to calm down.

I
chuckled
to
my
self
as
an
image
of
a
new
woman
crossed
my
mind.
she
was
a
recent
love
interest
who
was
young,
beautiful,
smart,
and
sexy.
She
easily
had
10
years
on
me
but
for
some
reason
had
some
attachment
to
me
.

We
had
been
dating
off
and
on
for
a
while
and
I
was
beginning
to
fall
for
her.
But
I
couldn't
trust
the
feeling.
I
had
been
married
for
15
years
to
a
woman
who
wrung
every
ounce
of
energy
out
of
me. I had a bad habit of running myself into the ground over a woman.

Amanda asked me to open up emotionally to her. I did, through my breakdown I opened up. It wasn't what she wanted after all and
she asked me to leave.

How
could
I
trust
how
I
felt
about
a
new
love.
I
decided
to
put
those
thoughts
out
of
my
mind
and
wondered
where
she
was.
She
was
out
of
town and I
hoped
she
was
safe
and
longed
to
see
her.

12
.

-Drive-

    
The
US
395
was
a
long
desolate
stretch
of
California
highway
that
connected
the
southern
part
of
state
with
Northern
destinations
like
Bishop,
Mammoth
Lakes
,
and
Lake
Tahoe
.
Tahoe
was
where
I
was
headed.
Jaime
had
said
Amanda
had
taken
the kids
to
her
sisters,
and
that
’
s
where
she
lived.

It
was
difficult
to
keep
track
of
the
kids.
Amanda
was
always
taking
off
with
them
because
she
was
pissed
off
at
something.
It
really
didn't
matter
what
it
was.
She didn't need much of a nudge and
she
would
unleash
her
fury
on
anyone
in
earshot. Proclaiming
how
the
world
was
against
her
and
no
one
respected
her,
S
he
would
pack
up
the
kids
and
take
off.

I
spent
much
more
time
than
I
wanted
tracking
them
down
and
persuading
their
mother
to
come
back
to
town.
I
wasn't
nice
about
it,
but
she
usually
responded
which
kept
the
sheriff
from
getting
involved.
T
hat, however,
had
happened
from
time
to
time anyway. I had my share of visits from sympathetic sheriff's deputies responding to a false phone call from her.

She was a
lways
the
eternal
victim.
I
was
glad
for
the
fact
I
didn't
have
to
deal
with
her
on
a
daily
basis
anymore.
L
iving
with
a
woman
like
that
presented
daily
nightmares
that
I
didn't
have
to
face
anymore.
Now
there
was
a
new
nightmare
to
face.

     I
drove
past
the
last
gas
stop
before
the
first
long
stretch
of
highway
started
north.
The
last
bits
of
civilization
passed
by
in
the
darkness
.
G
as
stations displaying bright signs inviting
weary
travelers
to
stop
in,
gas
up
and
enjoy
a
nice
hot
cup
of
coffee.
The
nightmare
that
was
coming
hadn't
gotten
here
yet
and
people
strolled
down
the
road
unaware
of
the
horror
that
was
headed
their
way.

     I
was
calmer
now,
my
panic
had
faded
and
overwhelming
rush
of
relief
washed over me knowing
that
I
was
heading
towards
my
family.

I
was
beginning
to
feel
exhaustion.
I
could
clearly
recount
the
past
few
hours
now
in
gruesome
detail.
I
remembered
walking
out
of
the
bar
and
hearing
the distant
screaming.
I
t
was
unforgettable.
That
sound
would
stay
with
me
,
like
noise
in
the
back
of
my
mind
as
I
drove
north.