Ultimate Baseball Road Trip (47 page)

Immediately behind the plate, the Vista Boxes climb sixteen rows in a single bank of seats above the concourse level. This leaves room for the press box. On either side of the press box though, the Vista Boxes appear in two forms: as above-the-concourse seats and as seats that hang down below the concourse. The seats that hang down are preferable. They are located in Sections 306–310 and 319–323 in rows lettered B–J. The rest of the Vista Box seats (i.e., the ones that are higher up and not as desirable) appear in rows numbered 1–16. So shoot for a lettered row.

The Vista Reserved seats appear deeper down the outfield lines. Although these aren’t on the infield like the Vista Boxes, they begin at the same height as the lower hanging Vista Boxes (as described above), which means that the first
ten rows (B–J) are actually pretty good. And you can’t beat the price. It’s the lowest in the ballpark.

The Marlins were pretty hell-bent on working to ensure that the railings safeguarding fans from harm obstructed views as minimally as possible. Team officials reportedly sat in every single upper level seat before the ballpark’s opening and then made recommendations on any adjustments that needed to be made to keep sight lines as pure as possible.

Kevin:
Wow, they sat in every seat.

Josh:
Sounds like they were auditioning for our job.

The Marlins’ new locale in Little Havana constitutes a major upgrade over their previous “neighborhood,” especially if you like fine cigars and Cuban sandwiches like we do. Yes, we know loading up on carcinogens and cholesterol is never wise, but there are certain things you do on vacation that you wouldn’t think of doing at home. And baseball road tripping counts as vacation-time for us, even if we get paid for it.

Aside from cigar and sandwich shops, Little Havana offers coffee shops, brightly colored murals and stone monuments that range from a likeness of the Virgin Mary to a Bay of Pigs memorial, and plenty of Cuban-Americans. We always get a kick out of the elder gentlemen sitting outside playing chess and especially dominoes. How you actually play dominoes, we have no idea, but if you were the patient sort and cared to learn, we bet hanging around Maximo Gomez Park for a few hours would teach you a thing or two.

The park is three-quarters of a mile from SR 836 Westbound via the 12th Avenue exit, or half a mile from SR 836 Eastbound via the 17th Avenue exit. For those traveling on Interstate 95 South, take the 8th Street exit and it’s just about a mile to the park. For those on Interstate 95 North, take the exit for SR 836 Westbound and follow the directions above. The ballpark sits at 1501 Northwest 3rd St.

As for the parking situation, the easiest bet is to use one of the four parking garages that were built on the Orange Bowl site as part of the ballpark construction project. These have five or six levels each, and are located smartly at the four corners of the old Orange Bowl site, so that the ballpark sits in their midst. The garages cost the City of Miami about $100 million to build. As part of the new ballpark financing deal, the Marlins agreed to purchase them from the city upon their completion and to assume responsibility for their upkeep. In total, the garages have room for about 5,700 cars.

There are also plenty of private lots and garages operating within a half-mile walk of the ballpark. Keep in mind that the Orange Bowl held nearly twice as many fans as the Marlins’ park now does, at a time before the four garages existed, and there was never a major problem when it came to folks finding parking in the neighborhood lots.

Another option is to take a shuttle bus from one of the nearby MetroRail stops like Culmer, Civic Center, Vizcaya, or the Miami Intermodal Center. Ideally, the MetroRail would have a stop at the ballpark, and the Marlins have expressed interest in seeing the city bring such a convenience to fruition, but at the time of this book’s printing there seemed to be neither the money nor political will to make this happen. Eventually, it would seem like a no-brainer, though.

MetroRail Maps and Schedules:
www.miamidade.gov/transit/rail.asp

Three of the four parking garages were designed to include restaurant and retail space as well as dank asphalt smeared with motor oil. That’s right, each of these garages is a minimall unto itself, designed to keep patrons coming to the ballpark site year-round, not just when the Marlins are in season or have a game. So, if you’re looking to do some window-shopping before the game, or for a bite to eat, look no further than where you’ve just ditched the road trip mobile.

Miami’s ballpark has been likened to a New Age sculpture. At street level though, it also offers colorful murals in the Spanish style that depict images from the vibrant Little Havana streets nearby. These are only part of an ambitious plan the Marlins will work on for years to come to pack the park to the gills with art.

At the plaza on the east side of Marlins Ballpark, a public arts project pays tribute to the Miami Orange Bowl, which used to rise on the site.

Built in 1937, the Orange Bowl served as the original home of the Miami Dolphins, hosted five Super Bowls, hosted college football’s annual “Orange Bowl,” and was also home to the University of Miami Hurricanes. It was demolished in 2008 to make way for the new yard.

The tribute to the old stadium is as artsy as it is apropos. A hallmark of the facility was its gigantic sign reading “Miami Orange Bowl” in orange capital letters across its façade on Northwest 3rd Street. That distinctive sign is replicated—sort of—by ten-foot-high orange letters that can be found on the concourse outside Marlins Ballpark. But rather than merely presenting the letters in an orderly and upright manner, as you might expect, the artists commissioned to do the project decided to present them as the letters might have appeared at the very moment they came tumbling from the imploded stadium’s face. As such, some are lying flat down on the plaza, others are half submerged beneath the ground, others are tilted sideways, and others stand, but at odd angles or in the wrong order.

Now, we’re no art experts. But we thought this was a funky and original way to remember a classic stadium that couldn’t quite have been done justice by a standard issue granite monument.

Josh:
Can I have an “A,” Vanna?

Kevin:
You can only select consonants, moron. You have to buy the vowels.

Josh:
I’m not paying extra for any vowels.

Kevin:
The only thing I’ve ever seen you pay extra for is extra meat at that Japanese Chicken place in the mall.

Josh:
You’re right. I always get double meat.

A visit to Maximo Gomez Park not only affords the opportunity to watch dominoes being played at what we can only assume is a pretty high level, but it also brings you to the foot of the Calle Ocho (Eighth Street) Walk of Fame. The path is paved with stars that comprise a veritable “who’s who” of Latino stars from the arts and entertainment worlds. The more familiar names include the very first recipient of a star—Gloria Estefan, as well as boxer Roberto Duran, Julio and Enrique Iglesias, the late Selena, otherwise known as the “Mexican Madonna,” and Sylvester Stallone. For the record, Stallone is Italian, not Latino, but he attended Miami Dade College.

Josh:
Alex Rodriguez played at Miami’s Westminster Christian High. He deserves a star.

Kevin:
He’s a bum now and he was a bum then.

Josh:
According to Selena Roberts’s book
Arod,
he did steroids in high school.

Kevin:
Precisely.

Little Havana must be experienced for oneself to be fully appreciated. It is a place with a culture all its own. We recommend spending a full day walking around and taking it all in. We offer a few of our favorite spots along its streets, as well as some tips on other Miami restaurants we think readers will enjoy. As for the club scene in South Beach, that sort of falls outside our range of expertise, so we’re going to leave you to navigate the clubs on your own if you’re so inclined, which, if we know our readers, we’re betting you’re not.

Josh:
Really, we’re not clubbing? But I brought my bling.

Kevin:
I was wondering why you were wearing that goofy Red Sox medallion.

Josh:
Whatever. You’re now officially on my frienemy list.

Kevin:
You’ve been watching too much
CSI Miami.

Josh:
Um,
Dexter
actually
.

1501 SW 8th St.

www.littlehavanacigarfactory.com/

The lounge of this classic stogie shop features comfy leather couches, plenty of ashtrays, and two gigantic flat-screen TVs. Aside from the fact that you’ll stink to the high heavens after visiting, the only other downer is that it closes at 8:00 p.m.

1831 8th St.

Cuban ice cream takes on a fruity flare, so be ready to order something besides the same old Chocolate or Vanilla you get back home. You’re in Little Havana, chomping on stogies and playing dominoes, so it’s time to broaden your ice cream horizons too.

1548 8th St.

We recommend boning up on your Spanish language skills before you visit, but even if you don’t, your dinero will do the talking. We suggest the croquetas as a starter. These are a deep-fried delight you just won’t find back home (unless you’re from Cuba, in which case, we guess you will). Then, for an entrée, we suggest the roast pork with white rice and yucca garlic sauce.

833 SW 29th Ave.

Looking for a place to knock back some late-night mojitos? Or to listen to some swinging Cuban music? Then we recommend the house of Martinez, which is owned by the same family that once operated the famous Bodeguita del Medio, where the mojito was invented, and where Ernest Hemingway and his fellow bohemians used to drink when they visited Cuba.

For those who’ve never had a mojito, it is made by mixing spiced rum with soda water, mint, sugar, and lime juice.

5225 Collins Ave.

www.donshula.com/

If you’re not just a hardball fan but a pigskin fan too, then you may want to check out the spot where legendary Dolphins coach Don Shula’s restaurant chain began. Not only could he manage a gridiron squad to perfection (How does 14-0 in 1972 grab you?), but apparently Mr. Shula knows how to assemble a dynamite restaurant management team too. Who knew? As at all Shula’s, the red meat and seafood are excellent, although a tad on the pricey side.

5701 Sunset Dr.

www.danmarinosrestaurant.com/

Has the Hall of Fame Dolphins quarterback surpassed his old head coach in culinary expertise? We’ll leave it to you to decide.

Kevin:
Wow, they both have restaurants. I guess that means they won a bunch of Super Bowls together.

Josh:
Um, I wouldn’t say that too loud in these parts.

11 Washington Ave.

www.joesstonecrab.com/

Specializing in stone crabs and key lime pie, Joe’s offers the ultimate Miami experience. A landmark on the beach since 1913, Joe’s isn’t cheap, but it’s sure to satisfy. If you are ordinarily a vegan for moral reasons or sympathize with PETA most of the time, you will be happy to know that no crabs were killed in the making of your meal. In order to ensure the continued propagation of the stone crab species, the crabs are captured and one claw is removed, then they are returned to the ocean. That way, they can keep reproducing and making more crab claws for us humans to eat.

Kevin:
Somehow, I think I’d feel better if they were just killed.

Josh:
I disagree. An involuntary amputation is preferable to an execution.

Kevin:
If a giant crab swooped down and excised your right arm, you’d be okay with it?

Josh:
How about we just shut up and eat our crabs?