Unattainable (23 page)

She felt inexplicably lonely too. She
missed her parents, yes, but watching this, it felt like more than
that. Thirty wasn’t right around the corner but it was close
enough, and what did she have to show for it? No husband, no child,
not even a boyfriend. She had a career that wasn’t going anywhere
and a crazy chief of police after her, and now she was locked up
inside a criminal motorcycle gang’s clubhouse for God only knew how
long.

And this was her life?

Shame enveloped her for ridiculing
Danny when she’d heard of her marriage to Ripper, of her pregnancy,
of never leaving Miles City, for settling.

But Danny hadn’t settled at all. Danny
was happy and whereas she’d thought she’d been, Ellie now knew that
she was not.

“
Speaking of beautiful,”
Danny murmured, looking away from Harley. “Dirty is…just…oh my
God.”

Ellie nodded. “I know,” she said. “I
never knew he was so…” She trailed off, looking for the right
word.

“
Beautiful?” Danny
suggested, raising an eyebrow.

Yes. Beautiful just about covered it.
Dirty was, for lack of a better description, symmetrically
flawless. Not only that, he was the very definition of masculine
beauty. His forehead was broad, his cheekbones defined, his brow
and chin both prominent, and his jaw chiseled to
perfection.

Yet, at the same time there was
this…almost innocent aspect to him. Something that seemed
untouchable despite his age. The combination of the two, the
masculine beauty and that innocence, were what made the man
breathtaking.

The shower and shave hadn’t hurt
either.

The sound of screaming had Ellie
jumping off the bed in a panic. “What’s happening?” she cried,
looking toward the closed door.

Danny let out a long-suffering sigh and
shook her head.

“
That’s Tegen!” Harley
exclaimed from her seat on the bed. “She yells alllllll the
time!”

Ellie glanced over at Danny, who
shrugged in response. “She’s right. Tegen yells all the time and
right now she’s extremely mad at my father and my
brother…whatever…they are all crazy.”

Danny turned back to the closet, then
suddenly spun back around. “Oh!” she exclaimed. “I almost forgot!
Apparently ZZ and Tegen have been living together in San Francisco!
We’re like one big happy family!”

It took Ellie a minute to figure out
Danny wasn’t actually happy or excited about this information but
instead was overdoing it on the sarcasm.

“
Are you actually upset
about it?” Ellie asked. “Because you chose Ripper,
right?”

Sighing, Danny sat down on the bed and
dropped her hands into her lap. “This is going to sound weird, but
it’s not that I’m upset. I mean, I was worried about him for a long
time and all this time my dad knew where he was and with Tegen?
Ugh. Seriously, it’s just gross. I mean, I slept with Ripper, then
ZZ, and Cage slept with Tegen and then Tegen slept with ZZ, and
it’s sort of like we all slept together.” Danny wrinkled up her
nose and shuddered. “It’s just skeezy, you know?”

Ellie started laughing. “I think you’re
seriously overthinking this.”

“
I know,” Danny said,
sighing. “But he left because of me…and now he’s living with Tegen?
I mean, he must be miserable.”

Ellie laughed even harder. She didn’t
know Tegen particularly well; the girl had been two grades below
her, but the few encounters she’d had with her, she had to agree,
the girl was very volatile.

“
So, her and Cage now,
huh?” she asked. “Well, that’s…interesting.”

Danny rolled her eyes. “Oh God, who
knows. They are a hot mess together. He screwed her over a long
time ago, then she comes back from California after D got shot,
looking like a dirty hippie, and suddenly Cage is all, ‘Oh, she’s
hot, blah, blah, blah,’ but Tegen’s all, ‘Don’t touch me or I’ll
kill you,’ and ever since then every time they are in the same room
together, all hell breaks loose.”

Ellie wrinkled up her nose. “Sounds
fun.”

“
Yeah. Tons. Personally, I
think they’re both in love with the other. I mean, Cage has never
had a serious girlfriend, ever. He doesn’t have any interest in any
female other than for…” Danny trailed off and glanced at her
daughter. “Other than you-know-what,” she said in a
whisper.

“
And I wish they would
just beat the crap out of each other, kiss and make up, and be done
with it, but whatever.”

Danny shrugged again and got to her
feet. “Welcome to the insane asylum,” she said, and went back to
rifling through her closet.

That motherfucker.

That stupid motherfucker.

Looks like you turned out
just like your fuckin’ mom after all.

I was livid. Fucking furious. I was
past the point of angry, past the point of anything resembling
sanity. What was wrong with me? First I’d come home and did what
I’d promised myself FOR YEARS to never do again. Then I’d stupidly
come to the club and DID IT AGAIN, then I’d actually agreed to go
on a FUCKING DATE with that asshole, and THEN I came back to the
club with him.

“
What is wrong with me?” I
screamed at my reflection in the mirror hanging over Cage’s
dresser, where behind me I could see his bed. His stupid, fucking,
god-awful bed. The bed he’d destroyed me in.

Wait. What the…?

I squinted at the mirror and my eyes
went wide. Whipping around, screaming at the top of my lungs, I
lunged for the unmade bed, for the red lacy thong lying dead
center. Grabbing it, I clutched it with both hands and pulled as
hard as I could. The chintzy lace gave and I sent the two pieces of
fabric flying across the room.

Breathing heavily, my heart pounding
through my chest, I surveyed the room.

Posters of huge-breasted, mostly naked
women straddling motorcycles lined the walls, a box of condoms sat
atop the nightstand, and condom wrappers littered the floor beside
his bed.

How many had come before me? How many
fucking whores had he fucked in that bed before he’d taken away the
only thing that I’d had to give him and he hadn’t even
cared?

And how many women had come after
me?

How many more women were still to
come?

“
Stupid!” I screamed. “You
stupid, stupid, stupid bitch!”

I snatched the box of condoms off the
table and whipped them across the room. Then I grabbed for the
bedcovers and the pillows and I did the same. After that, I
couldn’t stop; everything I came into contact with was instantly
torn apart, shredded, or smashed. I ripped posters off the wall,
yanked drawers out of the dresser, sent clothing flying in all
directions, and then when there was nothing left to destroy, I
grabbed a gun from Cage’s sock drawer, was about to send it flying
into the rectangular mirror on the wall, when the door burst
open.

Cage took one look at his room, one
look at me, and his body went instantly taut. His nostrils flaring,
his fists clenched, the veins on his neck and arms bulging, he
charged me. Screaming, I spun around, leapt on top of the bed and
quickly rolled off the other side. Raising the gun, I pointed it at
Cage.

“
STOP!” I
screamed.

He didn’t. Of course he didn’t. Who
stopped what they were doing when they had a gun trained on them?
Not Cage.

“
Fuck that,” he said,
walking around the bed. His pace was slower now, his eyes on the
gun, but he was still coming at me. “Put that shit down before you
accidentally blow a fuckin’ hole in yourself.”

“
Fuck you!”

He paused and his eyes reached mine.
“Put it down,” he said slowly. “Or when I reach you I am going to
beat the fuckin’ shit out of you with it.”

He sounded so crass, so goddamn cold
and unfeeling just like his fucking father, that I couldn’t help
myself. My lower lip began to tremble and a whimper escaped
me.

“
God,” I whispered
frantically. “I hate you!”

“
Put it down,” he
repeated, and resumed walking.

“
Goddammit, Tegen,” he
growled, mere seconds from reaching me. “Put it the
fuck—”

“
FINE!” I screamed and
just as he made to grab for it, I flung it to the left of
me.

Cursing, Cage changed direction,
grabbed for my shoulders, and with a hard shove sent me down to my
knees. Then he bent down in front of me.

“
You love him?” he
growled.

It took me a moment to catch up. I was
still reeling from the gun episode. But when I did, the very second
I knew he was referring to ZZ, my anger resurfaced tenfold and I
exploded.

“
No!” I shouted. “He’s my
fucking friend!”

“
Pretty good fuckin’
friend,” he said angrily. “Seein’ as you been fuckin’ him for
years!”

“
Do you love everyone you
fuck?” I screamed.

“
I don’t love ANYONE I
fuck!” he yelled back.

Ouch. That seriously fucking
hurt.

“
Good!” I screamed. “And I
don’t limit myself to just one cock either!”

Cage’s brown eyes went wide and a
muscle near his jaw began to twitch.

“
You like bein’ a whore?”
Cage leaned forward, bringing me nose to nose with him. Lowering
his voice, he whispered, “You like bein’ passed around, you little
fuckin’ hypocrite?”

I was so offended, so hurt by that
comment, that it took me a moment to realize what Cage’s hand was
doing between us, but when he reached for my jeans and I saw that
he’d freed his cock, I balked and immediately tried to dive to the
side. But Cage was faster, his arms shot out, grabbing my ankles,
sending me sprawling onto my back.

“
This is what’s gonna
happen,” he said darkly, whipping my jeans straight off my legs.
Then grabbing hold of my calves, he flipped me onto my belly. With
one palm pressed firmly into my back, Cage maneuvered his hips
between my thighs.

“
First,” he hissed.
“You’re going to shut the fuck up for the first time in your life
and listen for a change. And seein’ as the only time you ain’t
yellin’ or screamin’ or tryin’ to knock somebody out is when you
got dick inside you…”

Cage’s chest replaced his hand on my
back and I felt his lips press against the back of my
neck.

“
You’re going to rape me?”
I screamed as loud as I could.

“
Rape you?” he said,
sounding offended. “Seriously, Tegen? All I gotta do is smile at
you and you’re wet and ready for me.”

Between our bodies, Cage’s fingers slid
into the crotch of my underwear.

“
Right, Teacup?” he
whispered, lightly touching me.

A full-bodied shiver tore through me
and my breath left me in a rush of hot, humiliated air. He
continued stroking me, wetting me with my own moisture, making me
quiver and tremble with every touch, until I was burning with need,
wanting him to stop just touching me and to just fucking take
me.

Behind me, Cage laughed softly. “You
want it?” he whispered, teasing with the tip of his finger,
circling it over where I needed him most of all.

My insides were instantly throbbing
with a single-minded need, no longer caring what Cage wanted from
me, to be silent, to listen to him, to do his damn laundry or shave
his balls, I didn’t care. I didn’t give a fuck about anything as
long as he planned on relieving this incredibly, beautiful,
agonizing ache he’d created.

“
Yes,” I whimpered,
lifting my hips off the ground, pushing back against
him.

The next thing I knew I was being
flipped over again and Cage was yanking my underwear down my legs
and my tank top over my arms. I watched him pull his own shirt up
over his head and toss it aside, then hungry for more of him, I
reached for him. His arm shot out, his hand wrapped around my
throat and he brought us face-to-face. “You suck Z off?” he
whispered.

The fog that had begun to cloud reality
began to clear and I snarled at him. “What the fuck?” I
hissed.

Cage jumped to his feet, bringing me
with him, and shoved me in the direction of his bed. Still holding
my neck, he shoved me down to a sitting position in front of
him.

“
Answer me,” he
growled.

My jaw locked. “Yes,” I bit
out.

His answering smile was brutal, but
also…pained? What was going on? Why the fuck was he doing
this?

“
Already know he’s been up
inside that pussy,” he said tersely through his teeth. “He been up
inside anywhere else?”

“
Yeah,” I said with a
snarl. “I let him fuck me in the ear almost daily.”

His fingers tightened around my neck
and I felt my throat hiccup with the loss of air. My hands flew to
my throat and my fingers worked, trying to pry his hand off
me.

“
Where else?” he
growled.

“
My ass, you fucking
psychopath,” I rasped, coughing. “He loves fucking me in the
ass!”