Unbearable (the TORQUED trilogy Book 2) (20 page)

RIGHT BEFORE I’M heading back to Eugene, I stop off at Red and Lenny’s house to say good-bye since it’s on the way to the interstate and I miss my friend.

“How’d it go?” Lenny asks the moment I’m inside the house and she’s sorting through a box on the floor.

I pull my hood up over my head dramatically and sit on the couch behind her. “Where’s Nova and Red?”

“I made them go pick out a tree together.” Lenny sighs, toying with an ornament in her hand. “I think Nova needs some alone time with him. She cried when we picked her up today.”

Leaning forward so my elbows are on my knees, I pull my hood off. “She’s just going through a rough patch, L. Give her some time. She loves you.”

“I know, I just feel like maybe Red and I moved too fast for her.”

“It’s not that. She did this when her mom died too. Gave him a run for his money but it’s not you, it’s just her. Red’s the same way. Hates change and then when he comes to terms with it, he’s fine.”

Lenny moves her legs out from under her, tossing the ornament aside. “Okay… I just don’t want them to think I’ve invaded their relationship, you know?”

I nod, because I totally get where she’s coming from on this one. I just don’t think that’s what’s happening. “You’re not. I’m telling you, it’ll blow over.”

“So….” She waggles her eyes suggestively. “What happened last night?”

“Well, we went back to his place, had sex two more times, he came on my face and then I think I pissed him off by bringing up Berkley.”

Lenny lets out a whistled breath. “Yeah, that’s a sure way to piss him off.” And then she frowns. “He came on your face?”

I nod, my cheeks burning with my admittance.

“He came on my face.”

“And you liked it?”

“Yes. Is there something wrong with me? I mean, I get into all that dirty shit with him and it confuses the hell out of me because he’s so damn nice and polite anywhere other than bed. It’s like here, I’ll hold the door and then later I’ll jizz on your face. And fuck, I’ll let him stick it in my ass too. If that’s not love”—I flop my arms up dramatically—“I don’t know what is.”

Lenny clears her throat. “I never saw him that way. Didn’t really want to either.”

Standing, I grab her arm before she can get away from me because she’s trying to leave the room now. “You know what I mean, he’s like that saying ‘Lady on the street but a freak between the sheets.’ Except he’s a gentleman on the street but a nasty hair-pulling ass-spanking handcuff-me-to-his-steering-wheel in the sheets.”

“You know.” She faces me, laughing now. “I don’t understand why that’s not a saying cause it’s not a mouthful at all.”

“Right? But I’ll tell you what
is
a mouthful—”

“Nope!” Lenny cuts me off. “That’s enough.”

“But I need someone to talk to,” I whine, falling back on the couch again. To add to the dramatics again, I pull my hood over my head once more.

“Fine.” She sits down next to me, her posture stiff, as though this is painful. “I get to tell you what your brother did to me in bed first so you can see how this feels.”

“Fine.” I wave my hand in her face. “Try me.”

“Well.” She seems way too pleased with this and sits back in the chair, grinning. “I told him I wanted him to—”

I stand up, my stomach turning at the idea of hearing anything sexual about my brother. “Nope. Let’s not.”

I caught Red and Nevaeh having sex once and it was way more than I ever wanted to see of my brother naked. Way too much. The sight still burns my eyes and I’m immediately reminded of it when she begins to talk.

Lenny looks relieved. “See? I told you it wasn’t cool.”

“You’re right. But seriously, why is he confusing me?”

“I think there’s something going on with him and his parents,” Lenny admits. “Red told me they called him asking if Tyler was okay, but they didn’t go into detail as to why they hadn’t heard from him. Apparently he hasn’t talked to them since March.”

Since March? Wow. Okay…. So maybe he does have something else going on. Still doesn’t excuse the fact that he’s stringing me along, but I do have a little more sympathy for him than I did an hour ago.

AROUND FOUR, I’M getting ready to head home when Red shows up with Nova and a tree. She’s happy, pointing to the tree with a big grin.

“We got a tree, Auntie!” she yells as she’s running past me into the house to tell Lenny.

I smile, happy that she’s in a better mood.

Red sees me and gives me a nod. “Can you untie the other side for me?”

“Sure, if you start being nice to Tyler again.”

He groans, a slow shake to his head. “I’m already nice to him. I took the beer from him last night, didn’t I?”

“True, but stop giving him all the shit jobs. We didn’t do this to piss you off.”

“I know that.” His voice is off and I feel bad right then because I know he’s going through something too. Everyone is. Seems like life these days.

“How’s Nova?”

Red sighs, anxiety flooding his face. “She’s better. I asked her if it’d be okay if I took Lenny away for a weekend alone and she asked if you could watch her.”

“Sure, I can. I have no life. Where are you going?”

“Thought I could take Lenny to the beach. She’s never been, believe it or not.”

“Why do you have to be such a good guy?”

“I’m not, clearly by your standards.” I glare at him and he laughs, leaning into the car with his arms crossed over his chest. “Tyler’s a good guy too.”

I almost laugh that he’s able to say something nice about him. “He is, but he doesn’t know what he wants.”

Red nods. “He’ll come around, I’m sure.” Reaching up, he takes the string around the tree we untied and unravels it. “So you can watch her here next weekend, right? I don’t think dorm life is for a five-year-old.”

“Yeah, here.” I turn to head to my car and then look back at him. “Does Lenny know?”

He shakes his head quickly. “No.
Don’t
tell her. It’s a surprise.”

We both look to the door where Lenny’s laughing on the porch, Nova at her feet. “I get to stay with you next weekend, Auntie!”

“Too late,” I yell out to Red and then air-five Nova. “Can’t wait, sweet cheeks!”

“Nova,” Red groans, smiling at her as he brings the tree down. “Darlin’, that was supposed to be a secret.”

Nova shrugs. “Stop telling me secrets. You know I can’t keep them.”

Once I’m in my car, I watch the three of them for a moment. Red’s proudly holding the tree and Lenny has the biggest grin on her face. This will be the first Christmas she’s actually had a real family around.

I’m also a bit sad too, because this will be our first Christmas without my dad. Thanksgiving was hard enough, I can’t imagine how Christmas will be for us all.

THE WEEK BACK at school seems to fly by, mostly because I have to basically study my ass off if I’m going to pass any class and get my mind off Tyler. And it doesn’t work. Why I thought it would is beyond me.

What else doesn’t help is when I’m rushing to my marketing management class—the one I’m failing—Holden finds me. “Hey, you okay?”

I give him a confused look. “Yeah, why?”

“Oh, well someone said you had a rough night at the party a few weeks back.”

I don’t know how I forgot about that. “Oh, that, right.” Adjusting my bag on my shoulder, I squint into the sun. “Yeah.”

He stares at me. “I would have drove you back to your dorm.”

“Tyler did.”

Holden’s jaw tightens and I have no idea why so I start walking and he follows.

“Tyler’s… he’s Red’s friend?”

“Yeah, you’ve met him, haven’t you?”

“I have.”

I want to laugh imagining what Holden must have thought when he encountered Red and Tyler together. I can imagine. He probably pissed himself. Though Holden’s a football player, there’s no chance in hell at standing up against my brother or Tyler.

He bites down on his lower lip and tiny frown lines appear on his forehead. “So is he like… your boyfriend?”

In my dreams.

“No, I just fuck him on occasion.”

And he comes on my face every once in a while.

I don’t think Holden’s prepared for my blunt answer because he blinks several times, and then several more. Then I think it hits him I’ve moved on and have absolutely no feelings for him.

“Oh.”

“I need to go.” I point over my shoulder with my thumb. “I’m late. Good luck on Friday.”

He doesn’t move from his place in front of me. “I’m not playing this year.”

“You’re not?”

“No. I don’t know if you heard about that party we had at Shasta over the summer….” His voice trails off and I can hear the disappointment in it.

“I heard. Most of Oregon did.” Holden’s fraternity trashed Lake Shasta over the summer and were currently under investigation. Every year for Memorial Day weekend, the University of Oregon’s fraternities invade Lake Shasta in northern California on party boats. Last year it apparently got out of hand.

“That sucks. Didn’t know they’d suspend you over it.”

“They didn’t. I lost my scholarship over it.”

Remember when I said everyone has issues? Apparently Holden does too.

“Sorry.” Is all I offer him. I can’t say I didn’t see it coming with Holden. The moment he left for college my senior year he changed. I didn’t know him as that sweet boy I fell in love with at sixteen any longer and I honestly should have seen it coming when he cheated on me.

“So Tyler….” He’s been dancing around the topic the last two times we’ve had conversations so I’m not surprised when he finally asks, “You like him then?”

Jesus. Trying to walk away is proving difficult.

I release a pent-up breath. “You could say that and I wouldn’t disagree.” Liking him is certainly underestimating these feelings but hey, let’s just go with that for now.

“How long?” I know what he’s asking. He knows as long as I was with him in high school, Tyler was around. What he’s asking can potentially hurt him and after everything, I want to be a little vindictive. I’m entitled to be, right?

“Honestly?”

Holden raises an eyebrow, vulnerability dancing in his eyes. “Yes.”

“Since I was sixteen.”

It’s the roll of his throat as he swallows and his hardening that confirms this bothers him more than he’s going to lead on, more than he’ll ever say. He nods, his lips press together in a slight frown. The look in his eyes, the set anger in his jaw, naturally he’d have this reaction. For so long Holden thought he was the only one. I made him believe he was, so was I any different then him?

“I’m not trying to get back together with you, I swear,” he mutters, hurt and anger simmering beneath the surface. “I get it, I cheated on you, but I guess I just wanted you to know I’m sorry, about everything. I shouldn’t have said those things to you that day and I’ll never forgive myself for that.”

I’m not sure how to react, mostly because he apologized and fully admitted to be a dumb dick. Something I never expected from him.

The words get stuck in my throat, but I manage to get out, “Okay,” I say, nodding. “I really do have to go, Holden.”