Unbelievable (15 page)

But when she did see him, she wouldn’t cause a scene. She’d be mature, and friendly. Never would she make him regret his generosity. Never would she make him uncomfortable for having given himself to her.

They spent the rest of the morning at the lake, not talking, just holding each other. And when the sun came up, Brandi did her best not to hate the coming day. Sebastian kept her warm, wrapped in his heat and a blanket. Just as dawn broke, he made love to her again. It was probably just her heart breaking, but his movements seemed as desperate as her own.

Three hours later, they caught a plane for home.

W
ITH EACH PASSING SECOND
, Sebastian grew angrier. Damn it, how could everything just end as if none of it had ever happened? Yet that was evidently what Brandi wanted. On the plane, she’d distanced herself from him, only holding his hand during takeoff and landing. She’d even suggested they take separate rides home, to save him the time of going by her house. Luckily, Shay had sent the limo after them, giving him a good excuse to refuse her offer.

He’d wanted to shout then, but he’d held himself back. Hell, he’d been holding himself back from the start. She didn’t even know him, because he hadn’t wanted to hurt her, hadn’t wanted her to be disappointed by the fact that she’d given herself to him. He also hadn’t wanted the Gatlinburg trip to be the end of their relationship.

Several times he’d started to tell her how he felt, only to draw up short. It probably had something to do with the poor kid still in him, but he didn’t want to risk her rejection. She’d had a whole new world opened up to her, and she deserved a chance to explore that world. On the other hand, everything basic and primal in him demanded he claim her, that he make her understand she belonged to him and only him. He tried to convince himself it was only the erotic sexual circumstances of their time together that was making him feel so territorial. But he’d been with plenty of women, and he’d never felt this way before.

He knew it would never happen again.

She hadn’t asked to see him, hadn’t mentioned furthering their relationship. For Brandi, it seemed to be over with already, and she wasn’t even home yet.

He felt the tension building with each mile that passed. He had to do something before he lost his head and transformed into a barbarian. Turning to Brandi, he asked, “Will Shay be coming by to see you?”

She sent him a small smile. “No doubt. She’s probably waiting on my doorstep.”

Sebastian wondered if Brandi would tell Shay about them. Not that it would matter. Brandi was her own woman, independent despite her reserve. He remembered first meeting her—it seemed like months ago, rather than days. She’d been adamant and outspoken in her desire
not
to go anywhere with him. She hadn’t wanted him, not even as part of a luxurious prize package. She had no trouble leading her own life.

She’d only needed him for sex.

He’d given her that, even though their intimacy had been controlled. It should have been enough, should have been the ultimate fantasy, but now it made him feel empty. Rather than being anxious to get back to his house, and to the job he loved, he dreaded each minute that passed. It put him one minute closer to losing her.

He cleared his throat, trying to chase the panic away. “When will you go to the shelter?”

“First thing tomorrow. I can’t wait to give the kids their presents.”

He forced a smile. “I’m sure they’ll be excited.”

“I appreciate all the help you gave me, picking out the gifts and wrapping them.”

“I enjoyed myself.”

Brandi hesitated, her hands twisted together in her lap. “Sebastian…”

Hoping to hear an invitation, some clue as to how she felt, he held his breath and waited.

“I want you to know how much this trip has meant to me.”

The anger hit him, but he controlled it. Trying not to sound sarcastic, he said, “No problem. It wasn’t exactly painful for me.”

Brandi looked confused, her gaze darting over his face, then away. Her voice dropped and he heard a slight tremor in the tone that hadn’t been there moments before. “It was very special to me. And I’ll never forget it.”

He’d hurt her feelings and now he despised himself for it. Damn her new freedom, her rights. Yes, she deserved some time to sort out her feelings, but that didn’t mean he wanted to let her go cold like this. He put his arm around her and tugged her closer to his side. Her face turned up to his, her expression wary, and he whispered, “We’re…friends, babe. I hope you’ll call me if you ever need to talk or visit.”

She blinked, looking pleasantly surprised by his offer, and she gave him a shaky smile.

Then he added, “Or if you ever need this.” And his mouth closed over hers. He didn’t care if the limo driver watched, he didn’t care if the whole world saw them.

Brandi’s fingers dug into his shoulders, not to push him away, but to hold him close. His tongue slid along her lips, then inside. He ate at her mouth, devouring, consuming. He wanted her to remember him, he wanted her to realize this was special, not something she’d find with any other man.

Not something she could toss away.

He pressed her back against the seat and heard her
soft moan as his fingers found and toyed with her nipple through her dress. He wanted her in his mouth. He wanted her naked beneath him.

He wanted her.

Realization came slowly, but the stillness finally penetrated his brain. The limo had stopped. Sebastian lifted his head and he scanned the area. Brandi’s house. It was over.

He looked at her and saw her damp parted lips, her eyes still closed. With a gentle kiss he whispered, “You’re home, Brandi.”

Her thick lashes lifted and she gazed at him a moment before comprehending. “Oh.” She tried to straighten herself and Sebastian couldn’t help but smile as she tucked dark curls behind her ears and they immediately sprang forward again to frame her face. He loved her hair. Loved her face. He loved everything about her.

The driver had been busy unloading Brandi’s bags from the trunk. He carried them up to her front steps and Sebastian started to get out to help. She caught his hand and stopped him.

“I’d rather say goodbye right here.”

He settled back into his seat, staring at her hard. He couldn’t let her go like this, not without giving her fair warning. He wouldn’t commit himself, but he had to at least let her know things weren’t over, no matter what she thought.

“For the past five days, I’ve let you call the shots, Brandi. And I don’t regret one second of it. But the trip is over and from now on, I’m playing by my own rules.”

Her eyes widened and her voice was weak. With arousal? “I don’t understand.”

Sebastian grinned. Having made up his mind to take the decision away from her, he felt much better. Patience no longer suited him well. “Sure you do.” He cupped her cheek and smoothed his thumb over her kiss-swollen lips. “There is no goodbye, Brandi. Not between us. You may not realize that yet. But you will. Soon.”

She stared at him in confusion and, if he didn’t miss his guess, excitement. Then she scurried from the limo and hurried up the walk to her front door. Sebastian watched her, waiting. At the last moment, she turned to look back at him.

He’d give her twenty-four hours to think about things. Then he was staking his claim. Maybe he was a barbarian, after all.

“A
LL RIGHT
, S
HAY
, where is she?”

Shay bit her bottom lip, but her back was straight and she was so tall she nearly looked him in the eye. “I can’t tell you.”

He cursed, a colorful, explicit curse that had Shay lifting her beautiful eyebrows and pursing her lips.

Sebastian was at the end of his tether. He’d meant to give Brandi one day to get settled back at home, to get accustomed to the idea that he intended to pursue their relationship. But he’d gotten called away on a case, one he couldn’t hand to anyone else because he’d been previously involved and knew the history. As much as he’d wanted to see Brandi, he had obligations that he couldn’t ignore—not when it came to a woman being stalked by her ex. The woman couldn’t afford to hire anyone else, and Sebastian already understood the situation. He’d wanted to call Brandi beforehand, but it had been so late. And by the time he’d gotten back, none of his calls got answered.

Now, a week later, he still couldn’t reach her and his anger had grown steadily with each passing hour. He’d had more time away from her than with her, and the thought nettled him. So even though it was the dinner hour, and he might have been intruding, he’d gone to
Shay’s house. He wanted answers, and she was the only one who might be able to give them to him.

“You’re playing some game here, Shay, and I don’t like it. I need to talk to Brandi. Tell me where she is.”

“I’m sorry, Sebastian, really. But she made me promise.”

“Why?”

At that point Shay lost her temper. With one finger poked into his chest, she stood on her tiptoes and looked him dead in the eye. She shouted, “That’s what I’d like to know! What the hell did you do to my sister? She hasn’t been the same since she came back. One minute she looks ready to burst into tears, then she’s smiling like she has some damn secret to keep, and then she informs me she needs a vacation! She just came back from Gatlinburg! She won’t tell me a single thing that happened there.”

“Maybe because it’s none of your business.”

“We share everything!”

“Even guilt?”

Shay went still, her eyes wide. “What are you talking about?”

Sebastian regretted the words as soon as they’d left his mouth. There was no point in rehashing the past. It wouldn’t solve anything, and in fact, might make matters worse. He intended to be around from now on, and he’d make certain things changed, that her family understood Brandi better.

He needed to divert Shay, and he sighed. “Do you intend to leave me standing in the doorway, or can I come in and sit down? I’m beat.”

Her frown softened, and then she sighed, too. “Come on. We can go into my study and talk there.”

Sebastian looked around in amazement as he entered Shay’s home. Luxurious, rich, expansive—all the things he’d expected but seeing them now made his gut twist. How could he ask Brandi to come to his modest home when she had this in her family?

“It’s a great house,” he said when he noticed Shay watching him.

“It’s an empty house and terribly lonely at times.” She opened a thick oak door to a large parlor done in rich shades of burgundy and hunter green. “Brandi has no use for it. She thinks I ought to buy something more homey. She calls it a depressing mausoleum.”

Sebastian stared hard at Shay, wondering at her words and how much truth was behind them. “Brandi actually said that?”

Shay nodded, looking around the room with a poignant half smile. “And I’d even agree with her, except that this is where my husband chose to live, and since his death this is all I have left of him. Besides, after a while, the place kind of grows on you.”

Shay was such a young, beautiful, vital woman, it was often difficult to think of her as a widow. He reached out and gave her hand a quick squeeze. “I’m sorry.”

He’d said it before, countless times to countless victims. It always felt less than adequate and left him feeling hollow, as it did now.

Shay ran her fingertips over a mahogany desk, and Sebastian could see the memories in her eyes. “Don’t be. I’m content with my life and the choices I’ve made. But I want Brandi to be happy, too, and something just isn’t right with her.”

He scrubbed his hand over his tired eyes. Shay looked unhappy as hell, her worry plain to see, and he decided right then he wouldn’t tell her how she’d innocently added to Brandi’s burden. It wouldn’t happen again, because he’d be there, making certain it didn’t.

He intended to make Brandi happy, and to keep her that way, so the point was now moot. “I didn’t mean to let this much time pass before seeing her again, but I was called away. I just got back in town this morning. I tried calling her twice while I was gone, and several times since I’ve been home, but I couldn’t get an answer.”

“She was probably avoiding you.”

Well, that was typical of Shay to be so blunt. Sebastian dropped into a chair and leaned his head back. “I ought to strangle you for getting me into this mess.”

“Is that what it is? A mess?”

“What the hell would you call it? You send me off on an innocent trip…only it wasn’t so innocent.”

“Uh, I hesitate to ask, but what exactly are you telling me?”

He couldn’t help but laugh. “Not what you think. I was supposed to entertain your sister for five days, but instead, I fell in love with her in one. The rest of the trip was pure torture, and even though I kept telling myself she deserved a second chance at life without a possessive Neanderthal like myself hanging around, I can’t just let her go.”

Shay blinked twice. “You love Brandi?”

His voice softened at her amazement and he said simply, “How could I not?”

Shay’s smile was blinding. “Exactly! She’s perfect, isn’t she?”

“No, she’s beautifully flawed and I want her. Where is she, Shay?”

“It might not be that easy. You see, I get the impression Brandi doesn’t think she’s good enough for you.”

That volatile anger roiled in his stomach, giving him cramps. It was worse than worrying about money, because Brandi made him feel more secure, more valued, than money ever could. He contemplated Shay’s statement, and his eyes narrowed. “Where did she get that harebrained idea?”

“From you evidently, so you can just stop glaring daggers at me. Right now, Brandi thinks you walk on water. To hear her tell it, you’re the perfect man.”

Emotion swelled inside him—pride and need and lust. “She said that?”

“Not the part about you being too good for her. I just figured that out on my own, given the solemn way she sang your praises. Let me see, you’re gentle and confident and understanding and caring and… Oh, yeah. Strong.” Shay punched his shoulder and winked. “But then any woman with a pulse can see that on her own.”

“You’re a terror, Shay. When you snag a man, he’d better have a will of iron so you don’t trample him into the mud.”

“Ha! Been there, done that. I have no intention of getting involved—much less married—ever again.”

“Spoken like a woman on the brink of a great fall.”

Shay made a rude sound. “I’m too sturdy to fall. Brandi’s the one who’s fallen, and I want to know what you’re going to do about it.”

All traces of fatigue left him. He’d spent four days in surveillance, two in wrapping up an attempted assault
which he physically prevented. The ex-girlfriend of the assailant had bordered on hysteria, and it had taken him a long time to calm and reassure her. He’d been on and off planes for more hours than he cared to count, and he’d had nothing but broken, disturbed sleep on any given night. An hour ago he’d felt bruised, physically and mentally tired, and ready to collapse. But now his anger made him ready to burst with adrenaline. He needed an outlet, and Brandi with all her stubbornness seemed like a prime target.

How dare she think she wasn’t good enough for him?

He stood to tower over Shay and his tone emerged as a low, mean growl. “I’m going to take care of everything. As soon as you tell me where she is.”

Shay backed up. “I know you’re inclined to be a little autocratic on occasion. And I appreciate the fact that with your job, it’s probably necessary. But you aren’t going to do anything…well…uncivilized, are you?”

He snorted. Shay knew him well enough she shouldn’t have been worried at all. “I’m going to make your irritating little sister see reason, that’s all.”
After
he made love to her a couple of dozen times. When he’d finished, she’d know for certain just how much she meant to him.

Shay grinned and patted his arm. “I’ll get you the address.” She went around her desk to open the top drawer. “But I’m counting on you to make this work out, Sebastian. I don’t want to have to deal with Brandi’s temper if she comes back here alone.”

“She’s not going anywhere without me.”

“Ohhh. A forceful man. Be still, my heart.” She fanned her face with a small square of white paper.

Sebastian grabbed the slip of paper from her hand. “Ha. You’re too damn bossy to ever put up with a forceful man and you know it. You’d have him begging for mercy within twenty-four hours.”

Shay shrugged. “Damn right. But I can have my fantasies.”

As he started out, he said over his shoulder, “Yeah, we all do.” And Brandi was about to fulfill his, whether she liked it or not.

B
RANDI STEPPED OUT
onto the front porch of the small rental cabin, and opened her arms to the feeling of being wrapped in a big black sky filled with diamonds. There wasn’t a cloud in sight to block the stars and the moon was a fat orb that glowed softly. She wondered if this was how Sebastian felt when he stood in the isolation of his own home; at peace, lulled by his surroundings. Then she felt keen regret, because she would never know.

This cabin was rustic compared to the elegant one she’d shared with Sebastian. She preferred it here, though, if she had to be alone, because this cabin had a gentle familiarity to it, a hominess that she needed to mend her broken heart.

He hadn’t called. He hadn’t come to see her.

Though she knew it was for the best, for a short time she’d hoped for more. Sebastian had seemed so determined to continue their relationship, that a secret part of her had hoped he would force the issue, that he would take her choices away. But then those first few days had passed and she hadn’t heard from him. After that, she’d accepted what was right for both of them.

Still, she missed him terribly. Everything she did,
everywhere she looked, she thought of him. The nights were the worst. There wasn’t a repeat of the nightmare, just the endless loneliness, and the knowledge of what she was missing. It had only been five days—the same length of time as the mundane workweek she usually put in—but time enough for her to fall completely, irrevocably in love.

It wasn’t a mere infatuation with her first lover; no infatuation could be this strong, this all consuming. She had no doubts about the depth of her feelings. She loved him, and that wasn’t going to go away.

It was Sebastian she had to wonder about. Was it possible for a man to be so gentle and considerate and not be emotionally involved? Could he have been using the situation only to gratify them both sexually? He’d always had her best interests at heart, she knew that as well as she knew her own limitations. Sebastian hadn’t used her. But he’d admitted the circumstances were a fantasy for him, for almost any man. And what normal, healthy man would turn down the invitations she’d given? Now that the trip was over, maybe he’d decided to find a woman with fewer inhibitions, someone who could meet his high level of sexuality without faltering.

Moving to sit in an old wooden rocker, she closed her eyes and immediately the fantasies began to intrude. She had never considered fantasizing about a person before, but Sebastian had been so open about it, so natural, that his fantasies were now her own. In her mind, she could clearly see his bare, powerful body drawn taut on the bed, his expression hard and heated as she gently, endlessly rode him. The sounds of
pleasure he made, the way his breath rasped, the thrusting of his hips as he struggled against his bonds. A tingle started inside her, and she felt the ache more keenly than ever.

She knew now what she was missing, and the knowing hurt. But she wouldn’t have gone back to her ignorance for anything, her memories of the time with him were too precious to regret.

Disgusted with herself and her obsession with a man she couldn’t have, she started to rise. An unfamiliar sound made her hesitate; tires crunched on the long gravel drive, then braked to the side of the house. With her entire body straining with the effort, she listened to the sound of a car door slamming, the noise carried easily on the still night air.

No one knew she was here, so she certainly didn’t expect any visitors. Unless Shay had come to check on her, which was possible. But the stomping footsteps that rounded the house weren’t made by a woman, and just that quickly, all her old fears returned, choking her, slowing her heartbeat. She was alone, vulnerable….

A familiar figure bounded onto the porch and Sebastian stood there, overwhelmingly big and strong, making the small porch seem even smaller. Relief, yearning, confusion—they all swamped her at once. She sat frozen, unsure what to do, how to react. He didn’t notice her sitting so quietly in the corner. He had his hands on his hips and a fierce frown on his face. To Brandi’s eyes, he looked incredibly gorgeous.

Then one large fist raised to pound on her door. In the next instant, he bellowed her name in demand, the
sound echoing dully around them. Brandi had no doubt he was angry.

She spoke quietly from her shadowed corner. “What are you doing here?”

He whirled toward her, his eyes searching in the darkness. When he located her, he stepped close. He wrapped his long fingers firmly around her upper arms and half lifted her from the chair.

“I came for you. Why the hell are you hiding from me?”

“Hiding?” His tone was antagonistic, almost brutal. Brandi didn’t understand his mood at all.

“Yes, damn it. I’ve been trying to reach you. I had to threaten Shay to find out where you were.”

He had frightened her half to death coming out here this way, and now he accused her? In the week since they’d parted, she’d suffered ten kinds of hell, missing him, wanting him.
Needing him.
And he verbally attacked with his first breath. She tried to pull away from him, but he held firm, so she did her best to stare him in the eyes. She had to tip her head way back to do so. “I’m not hiding, you big jerk. I’m relaxing. And why shouldn’t I have gone away? You said you were going to call, but then you didn’t.”