Unbidden Love (Book Five of the Bidden Series) (12 page)

Behind him the door to the room opened and closed, the atmosphere shifting to accommodate his visitor. He quickly tried to envision who had come to see him and why. Was it Celine, come to chastise him for abandoning her in the middle of a party they were both hosting? Or perhaps his father with his own drink in hand, and an attempt to explain that he owed it to his family to come back outside and pretend like he wasn’t hurting. Maybe it was Frankie, her deep brown eyes brimming with sorrow for thinking she had somehow ruined the afternoon by asking questions. For a brief and bizarre moment he pictured Colin sitting on the carpeted floor, looking for his daddy to pick him up and carry him back to his family where everything would be okay.

But it wasn’t his ex-wife, his father, his daughter, or his son who said, “I think it's time for us to talk.” It was Audra.

Natalie curled into the overstuffed couch and surfed aimlessly through her Netflix queue, aiming to do nothing else for the rest of the day but relax and zone out with a good movie.

“Nat?” Joe called out as he descended the stairs.

“Over here,” she replied lazily. “You didn’t get an invitation to family day at the Robertson-Fitzgerald fun house?”

Joe plopped down onto the seat next to her and sighed so heavily she could see his shoulders slump. “I am pretty sure that invitation was only extended to those named Robertson or Fitzgerald. I assume Audra went?”

“Mmm-hmm. Want to watch something?”

“Sure. Actually there is something I wanted to talk to you about.” There was a bit of hesitation in his tone, enough to make Natalie switch off the television and readjust in her seat until she was facing him.

“What’s up?”

“I have been doing a lot of thinking about moving the crew to a new office space, and once we do I think-“

“-That Quinn and I should get our own places?” she finished for him.

Joe’s face darkened. “It’s nothing personal. With Frankie living in Santa Barbara full time now I really want her to think of this place as a home away from home.”

“And it is less home, more dorm room right now. I understand.” Natalie smiled to show him there were no hard feelings, and Joe’s face lightened almost immediately. “I am actually looking forward to living on my own again. I did not realize how much I missed it until recently.”

Joe blew a held breath out through his mouth. “I know what you mean. I even miss working in an actual office.”

Natalie joined in on his laughter, feeling the exact same way he did. Working from home had many perks, but it was nothing compared to having her own private space to concentrate. She would not miss interns coming in and out of the condo day in and day out, nor would she miss the lack of separation between work and home. Coming home would actually feel like coming
home
.

“By the way, what is happening with the car situation? Did you talk to Fitzgerald?”

“I did.”

“And?”

Natalie sighed as she considered how much of the truth to tell Joe. She knew if she told him everything - especially the part about James insinuating his money basically funded her life - he would be upset. And rightfully so. She had no reason to protect James from Joe’s anger, and yet she found herself wanting to spare him that. To spare both of them, really. The two men were civil to one another at best, and that was solely for Frankie’s benefit. She dared not contribute anything that might alter their unspoken agreement to merely tolerate one another.

“I held my own,” she finally answered.

“I hope you told the son of a bitch off,” Joe grunted with such protective force it made Natalie laugh.

She knew she had every reason in the world to be upset with James, but she wasn’t. “I am fairly confident I did just that.”

“Good,” he stated matter-of-factly. “You deserve so much better.” Joe wrapped an arm around Natalie’s shoulders and pulled her in close to his chest. She inhaled the woodsy scent of his cologne and relaxed into the safety of his embrace. Despite her final words to James, she had no regrets about anything or anyone. It was all said and done, especially when it came to James Fitzgerald. She could move on with her life knowing she never once held back with him, whether for better or for worse.

James inhaled deeply and let it out slowly. “Does she love you?” he asked. The question was simpler, more to the point. He did not need to know if Audra loved Natalie; he already knew the answer.

“I don’t know. I think at least half of her heart still belongs to you.”

There was nothing superfluous about the answer. She was speaking a truth, one that sounded like it was perhaps even difficult to say out loud. He might have believed her if his final conversation with Natalie had never taken place, but it had.

“James, I cannot go on this way. I said something awful to Natalie and then went back on my word, and since then it has weighed heavily on my mind.”

James turned from the window to look at his longtime partner, and considered her as though for the first time. To him she was merely Audra; tough as nails business woman who did not take shit from anyone, and who worked her ass off to achieve every bit of success she enjoyed. Yet even when they were brother and sister in-law they kept their personal lives private. He enjoyed in her a quiet comfort he could not find in his own wife. He never needed to gush about his life or the private details in it, but he knew nonetheless that Audra was there for him unlike any other person ever was. There, in the empty library of his estate in Montecito, Audra was not merely Audra, but a woman in love.

“What did you say?” he asked.

Audra stepped further into the room and sat on the box that the bar cart had been packed in. “I told her that I was not sure loving her was worth losing my relationship with you.”

James was taken aback by the sheer honesty of her words. The depth of her affection for him, or rather her loyalty to him, was surprising, and quite frankly made him feel the slightest bit guilty.

“The night I left New York I ran that conversation with her over and over in my mind. The entire plane ride was like one long epiphany for me, and I decided I was going to be selfish for a change. Because that is exactly what you would do, isn’t it?”

“I do not know,” he answered truthfully. He crossed the room and leaned against the wall opposite where she sat. “You know I only want the best for you, Audra. But-”

“Well therein lies the problem,” she interrupted. “We are both in love with her. No matter how you try to prove you do not, I know that you do.”

The car incident
. Somehow knowing she knew about it made him feel even more chastised. It was one thing for Quinn - another woman he deeply respected - to chide him for the problematic gesture, but knowing Audra was aware of it as well was almost too much. She was the mirror he could not easily look away from.

“I know you did not buy this place so that you and Celine could play house. Natalie told me you intended to propose to her here.”

Shit,
he cursed internally. He was not so naive to think the two women did not talk about him, but it was quite another thing to hear it out loud.

“What is your point, Audra? Or are you just trying to not-so-subtly remind me that you are part of the reason why Natalie is not here with me right now?”

“No, of course not,” she interjected, her brows furrowed in concern for him.

“Then what do you want?”

Audra sighed as she cast her eyes heavenward to the coffered ceiling vaulted high above their heads. “I do not want our relationships with Natalie to come between us.”

“Sounds to me like you do not want to have to choose which relationship is more important to you,” he challenged.

She cocked an eyebrow and looked him straight in the eyes, defiance in every feature of her face. “You are right. I don’t. If our roles were reversed I would not want you to choose, either.”

“How convenient for you that our roles are not reversed,” he sneered. Everything inside him wanted to hate her for the remark. Of course it was easy for her to wish things were different. She wasn’t in his shoes.

“Please come back to work,” Audra pleaded, losing a bit of her composure as she leaned forward, elbows on her knees, and looked up at him imploringly. “I cannot stand working with your father day in and day out. And I sure as hell do not trust him.”

James shook his head and took another deep sip from his glass. “I have a newborn baby I need to care for.”

“A newborn who has a stay at home mother and probably a live-in nanny, if my sister has anything to say about it. Not to mention a nursery at Fitson should you ever need to bring him to work with you.”

“I am enjoying my time away from the office.”

“Oh really?” Audra asked, doubt coloring the two words. She crossed her right leg over the left and slumped her back, elbow digging into leg as her chin sat in her palm. “Is that why you are spying on us via the security feed? Or did you forget that as the Chief Operations Officer, security reports directly to me?”

James pushed off from the wall and stalked around the mostly empty room. “I just don’t want to, Audra. It is bad enough imagining you and Natalie together. You could not possibly understand how tormenting it would be to see you two together in person.”

“Actually I have a pretty good idea, James. After all I did meet Natalie long before she stepped foot into our club.
I
was the one to sign the check for your winning bid. You know that I saw you two in the garden that night?”

James stopped in his tracks and turned to look at Audra, searching for a sign as to where she was going with her last statement. ‘
In the garden that night’
meant only one thing to him, and for a brief moment he was transported back to The Golden Palm, to the inky darkness of night that enveloped the garden where he found Natalie, clutching the backside of a marble statue of Venus as she watched another couple having sex.

Audra stood up from her box-seat but remained on the opposing side of the room, and continued. “A Concierge told me she left the penthouse early, so I was on my way to offer her a ride home when you came downstairs and found her watching that couple fucking in the gazebo. For nearly a year I stood by and watched as you two fell in love. I looked in the other direction when you would go off to have sex in your office. I endured all of that in silence out of respect for you and your feelings for her. So do not think for a second I have no idea what it is like to watch Natalie Harlow be in love with someone who isn’t you.”

“Is that why you want me to come back to work? So you can force me to experience what you went through?” he spit.

“No, I want you to come back to work because you and I once shared a vision of building a piece of the world together. I did not throw away any of our plans when Natalie was with you, and I expect the same courtesy from you.”

James set his drink down forcefully on the window sill overlooking the fountain courtyard before turning back to face her. “I cannot be your partner knowing you are going home to the woman I love every night. Maybe now that you finally have your chance with Natalie you can appreciate where I am coming from. I do not have to ask you to choose, Audra, not if I make the decision for you.”

“So that’s it then? You would sacrifice everything we built together over the past decade because of Natalie?”

“I love her, Audra.”

“You were an asshole to her, James.”

“Doesn’t matter. I can spend the rest of my life and my money making that up to her.”

“My god you are ignorant sometimes!” Audra exploded. “Natalie Harlow does not give a fuck about your money, James. Especially not when you use it to try to take credit for everything she has accomplished.”

“It doesn’t matter. You said yourself she still loves me. I had plans for us, Audra. Plans that do not include you.”

“No, I see what your plan is. You are going to push away the people you love when they hurt your fragile ego, and then just expect them to forgive you when it is no longer convenient for you to be angry with them.”

“GET OUT” he shouted, having finally lost the last tether holding back his anger. The door to the study opened, and both he and Audra turned to find Celine standing in the doorway, a puzzled look on her face.

“What the hell is going on in here? This is supposed to be a day for family, and you two are in here fighting like feral cats!”

Ignoring Celine, James turned back to Audra, feeling as determined and angry as ever. He did not care if in her own way she was right - that he was pushing her away. He had no intention of needing her forgiveness.

“I mean it, Audra. Get the fuck out of my house.”

An unexpected pang of guilt tugged at his heart the moment Audra’s face registered his cruelty. She looked to Celine, her eyes pleading with her sister to intervene, but when James looked back at his ex-wife he found her devoid of any emotion towards her sister. The sudden urge to take back what he said, to take away the pain he knew he had just caused his longtime friend, was dulled by his anger - a monster that had burst inside him and would not be so easily contained.

As Audra quietly left the room, James saw the tell-tale flush of pink staining her cheeks, nose and neck. Celine shifted quietly behind him to clear a space along her sister’s path, and together they watched Audra leave.

‘You are going to push away the people you love when they hurt your fragile ego, and then just expect them to forgive you when it is no longer convenient for you to be angry with them.’

She was not gone yet. He could still fix this. He stepped forward with the intention of doing just that when Celine’s hand crept onto his shoulder.

“Come on,” she said kindly, as though she had not just witnessed her sister being treated like she was unwanted. “Your family is waiting for you outside.”

Natalie started Monday morning feeling like she had a renewed purpose. She woke early, downloaded a real estate app on her phone and began the day looking at prospective apartments to rent. When the search results prompted her in the direction of a two bedroom, two story Hollywood Hills architectural house, she was crunching numbers for a mortgage instead of rent. After a quick shower and dressing in jeans and a plain white tee shirt, she was on the phone with the listing’s realtor making an appointment for a showing later that morning. It was not until she was strolling downstairs that she realized she had accomplished so much so early without the benefit of coffee.

“Morning!” she greeted Joe as she made a beeline for the kitchen.

“Hey,” he returned, glancing up from his phone. “I just got a call asking if we can reschedule the office tour this week.”

Natalie popped a single serving coffee pod into the machine and stabbed the button to activate the hot water. “When do they want to do it?”

“In about an hour.”

“Why so soon?”

“Apparently there is a lot of interest in the vacant space. They are offering to bump us up to an earlier showing since we are friends with Fitson.”

Natalie nodded and turned her attention to the coffee pouring into her cup. “We should take advantage of that. I was getting ready to head over there anyway.”

“What for?” Joe asked.

“To drop off the Bugatti with Jackson Fitzgerald. He can deliver it back to James.”

“Whoa.” Joe leaned back in his seat and brushed a hand through the messy dark locks of hair atop his head. “You are for sure giving it back?”

“I cannot sell it,” she retorted. “Besides, do you have any idea how much it costs to insure a Bugatti?”

“No. And I don’t want to know.”

“Trust me, I wish I
didn’t
know.” Natalie sipped her coffee, enjoying the unsweetened strength of the foreign brew. “Want to take your first and last ride in my new car?" she offered.

“It is tempting,” Joe said, and he seemed to be telling the truth. “You don't want to keep it long enough to take it on your trip to Vegas?”

It was not hard for Natalie to picture herself taking the gorgeous blue supercar on a road trip through the desert, pulling up into Sin City looking like a million dollars. That kind of lifestyle was not for her, even if it was for her current and ex-lovers.

“Nah. I think the eighty dollar plane ticket I bought last night is more my speed.” She took one final sip of her coffee before setting it down on the counter and running back upstairs to change into something less casual for the office tour. She was more than ready to give the car back to James and let him deal with it.

James stared at the thread of text messages and photos sent by Avery, his thumb hovering over no particular space above the on-screen keyboard. He had yet to respond to her initial text asking to meet up that week. If he was honest with himself, he was not all that tempted to take her up on the offer, but neither had he turned her down yet.

The sound of footsteps approaching from the hallway caught his attention, and he immediately shut off the screen of his phone as though he were about to be caught for doing something wrong. Celine entered the vast kitchen space and immediately set her keys, phone, and purse down on the marble countertop.

“Hi,” she said, apparently startled when he cleared his throat to make his presence known. “I didn’t know you were home.”

James shrugged. “Where else would I be?”

Celine sighed and attempted a smile that made her look anything but relaxed. “You tell me. You are the one not sleeping in his own bedroom.”

“Where else would I sleep, Celine? Our furniture is not arriving for another two days.” Irritated, James got up from his place at the makeshift dining table - cobbled together from cheap purchases at a chain store - and stalked to the refrigerator for a chilled bottle of water. “I came to bed after you were asleep and got up before you awoke.”

Celine’s fake smile nearly faltered. “Oh, I see. I’m sorry. I suppose I am a little on edge with the way things are right now.”

“The way things are?” he repeated, the bottle of water temporarily forgotten. What did Celine have to be concerned about? He had spent most of the night lying awake in bed replaying the events of the previous day over in his head until it gave him a headache. He felt sick about what he said to Audra, and knowing that Celine did not do anything to defend her own sister to him made him feel all the more awful.

Celine crossed her arms over her chest and tucked her hands into the sides. “Well correct me if I am wrong, James, but we moved across the country to this home to be a family, did we not? Not a week has gone by yet and you are fighting with my sister and avoiding me entirely.”

James groaned, cognizant to make the sound as quietly as possible. He wasn’t in any mood to deal with Celine and her passive-aggressiveness. “You’re not wrong,” he began patiently, “but I would hardly consider going to bed on my own schedule
avoiding
you.”

Celine arched a perfectly groomed eyebrow, her crystal blue eyes sparkling as if they too were perfectly groomed. “And Audra?”

“I do not want to talk about your sister with you,” James sighed, weary that he had to say it in the first place. He chugged from the chilled water bottle and glanced around the room, wondering in which direction he could make a quick escape. There were boxes he could unpack in the bedroom or his office-slash-library, and it wasn’t like he had anything better to do, other than stare at his phone.

“Fine. Then we don’t have to talk about
her girlfriend
either.” James stopped and turned at her specific use of words. Confident she had his attention, Celine continued. “I know you have your separate issues when it comes to that girl, but this is our home now and I do not want any
thing
or any
person
disrupting that.”

“What exactly are you trying to say, Celine?” he asked.

Celine cast her eyes to the side as though considering her next words carefully, and let out a held breath when she turned to meet his gaze once more. “Get her out of your system.”

“Get
who
out of my system?” he asked. Of course he already knew the answer.

“Natalie Harlow.” She said Natalie’s name as though she were speaking of poison, or something equally distasteful. “You had your dalliance with her and now it is my sister’s turn to make the same poor decision. Get over her, James. You and I have two children, history behind us and the future in front of us.”

James felt his hands clenching into fists at his sides. Natalie was not some
dalliance
or a passing phase. Had she not had the miscarriage, they would be parents of their own child together, and none of her affairs afterward would have occurred. He certainly wouldn’t be with Celine. The fact that they were together under one roof was a decision made entirely to benefit their children. He sometimes could barely stand the woman, especially when he was reminded of her true nature. He could not stand being apart from Frankie for more than a day, and despite his rocky relationship with Celine, there was no power on earth that could keep him from being in his son Colin’s life.

And yet…

And yet he could not let go of Natalie. No matter who she was with, how many people she slept with or what she said, James knew his love for Natalie Harlow could not lessen, let alone die. Whether it was in ten days, ten months or ten years, Natalie would be his again, and they would have the happily ever after they were destined for. In time she would forgive him for his recent cruelty, and he would come to accept that she had been with a man he despised. Even Audra herself admitted Natalie still loved him, even if she also maybe loved Audra.

‘You have made your declaration, James: You no longer love me. As far as I am concerned you and I are done.’
She was so wrong, and it was in that moment when she was livid with him that he realized he loved her still, could never stop loving her. Even when she told him that she was glad to be rid of him,
his heart knew that the words were just words. She was angry, like he had been, and in time her heart would mend.

It had to.

As he stared at Celine, taking in the sight of her as his thoughts were on Natalie, he wondered how he was ever once in love with her. If he ever believed she was as beautiful on the inside as she was the outside, it was nothing more than a lie he had convinced himself of. If only she weren’t the mother of his children.

“Why don’t you go for a drive to clear your head?” Celine offered, interrupting his thoughts as she often did. “When you get back we can discuss our future.”

“Sure,” James nodded, not quite actually sure of what he was agreeing to. But if she was offering him an out - however temporarily - he was happy to take it. Without saying anything further, James set off in the direction of the garage and set his sights on the Range Rover. Next to it sat Celine’s newly leased BMW, still warm from her morning errands of dropping Frankie off at day camp and shopping. He climbed behind the wheel of the SUV and backed out of the garage down the driveway. He was in no hurry to discuss a future with Celine. She was the mother of his children and that was it, as far as he was concerned. There was, however, one future he needed fixed almost more than he needed anything else in his life. A future he needed to make right before it was too late. He kept going through the private streets as they winded down the hills of Montecito until he was merging onto the 101 freeway, heading south with no planned destination in mind. But he kept driving.

Natalie Harlow
. She stared at her inky signature on the crisp paper of the lease agreement and felt as though the world around her were slowly shifting. Their bourgeoning business was about to move from plush-but-small home office to swanky high-rise in just a few weeks’ time. It did not matter that the building also happened to be home to Fitson Entertainment Groupe. It was a momentous occasion, and one worth celebrating. But first she had a Bugatti to give back and a house to tour. Not bad for a Monday morning.

“Are you sure you don’t want a ride home?” Joe offered as they walked in tandem toward the elevator in the office space that would soon be theirs.

“I'm sure. I have another appointment soon so I will just call a car on Uber.”

Once the elevator doors slid open they climbed in; Joe pressing a button for the lobby while Natalie stabbed the button for the Fitson executive offices.

“I almost cannot believe we are actually going to be working here,” he mused, glancing around the elevator as though the walls were transparent and he could see their office through them. “We make a good team, Red.”

“That we do," she agreed. She opened her arms and welcomed him in a hug, standing up on her toes to rest her chin upon his shoulder. “Maybe we should let Quinn plan an epic party to celebrate?”

Joe kissed her cheek just as the elevator doors parted on Fitson’s floor. “You got it. Call me if you change your mind and need a ride, okay? Uber gives me the creeps.”

“I will be fine!” Natalie laughed as she disembarked, then waved as the doors closed behind her to send Joe down to the foyer. She waved at April sitting behind her desk at reception, and continued down the hallway past her office towards James’ office, which was now inhabited by Jackson. Her eyes glanced further down the hallway towards Audra’s office, which was closed off and appeared to be dark inside. Natalie knew Audra had departed for Salt Lake earlier that morning, or at least had said as much in her brief text message. Natalie was hoping to get to talk to her about lunch in Montecito with her sister and James, but hadn’t had the time yet.

James’ office door was cracked open slightly, and as Natalie raised her hand to knock on it she stopped when she heard Jackson’s deep voice carrying on a one-sided conversation, presumably on the phone. She turned and leaned against the wall, trying to only listen enough for an indication when he was off the line and she could interrupt him.

As she waited, Natalie dug into her purse and let her fingers wrap around the key fob that operated the Bugatti Veyron Centenaire. In another life perhaps the car was destined to be hers - a life where she was wealthy enough to buy it on her own and not have it gifted to her. She was not a woman who desired that kind of lifestyle, even if she was dating someone who actively lived it.

“I agree acquisition is our best option, but these things do not just happen overnight. Once the shares are settled by close of business we can move forward.” Jackson’s voice carried through the small crack in the opening of the door, alerting Natalie to his conversation. “You are a smart woman, honey, but do not try to tell me how to do my job.”

Natalie’s head snapped back, repulsed by Jackson’s tone. Who was he speaking to, and was she giving him a piece of her mind at his semi-misogynistic tone?

“I will call you tonight when it is done.”

She waited a moment after the call seemingly came to an end, then took a deep breath and knocked heavily on the door.

“Come in!” he called out. Natalie shook out her shoulders - mentally shaking off the disgusting image of Jackson Fitzgerald condescendingly tell some woman off - and entered the office she was intimately familiar with.

“Miss Harlow,” Jackson greeted her brightly, leaning back in his chair as he eyed her appearance from top to bottom. “To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?”

For a fleeting moment it was like looking at an image of James in about twenty-five years. Handsomely aged to perfection, but arrogant to a fault. How had she managed to fall in love with James when he obviously shared so many qualities with this father, qualities Natalie found disagreeable.

“About a million dollars, actually,” she answered, pleased when his face contorted into controlled curiosity. She set the key fob in front of him on his desk and managed a courteous smile. “I made arrangements with security to park the car somewhere safe in the garage. Just speak with Steven at reception downstairs and he will help you with the rest.”