Unbind (50 page)

As they pulled up to the building, he knew that what they were doing was wrong but he couldn’t help himself. He didn’t know what else to do and now he knew she was in love with him, there was no escaping.

Before they went inside, he admitted, “I don’t love you.”

She smiled. “You will eventually. It’s just that you grew up so alone, Cai. You just need time to realise you can make someone happy.”

She just knew all the right things to say and it wasn’t any of her damn fault, none of it was. He felt suddenly, a duty, to make it right and just marry her. What else could he do?

They got on with the ceremony and with just a few sentences spoken, they were married. They emerged from City Hall to summer sunshine and warm heat, and at the top of the steps, they kissed like they were as any other newlyweds.

Pulling away from one another, Cai felt no emotion except the distinct impression someone was watching them. He saw his aunt rushing toward them and without chance to stop her, Jennifer shouted, “How could you take advantage, you conniving little bitch?” Her hand met Jackie’s face within seconds and Jackie fell back on the step, blood spurting from her nose and mouth.

Cai was pulled away by a burly guy Jennifer employed as her bodyguard-cum-driver. He was bundled into the car without a chance of fighting back against the huge fella that had his arms in a lock.

He watched over his shoulder while Jennifer loomed over Jackie, warning her with wild arm gestures to stay away. Jackie’s parents were seen rushing from a limousine of their own, having no doubt been tipped off about what was going on.

Out of the car window, Cai watched an altercation take place as Jackie’s mum cradled her stricken and emotional daughter. Jennifer pointed at Jackie’s father, Doug, and warned him about something. Cai watched the man take a step back and no chase was given when Jennifer stormed away.

Jennifer threw herself beside Cai on the backseat and shouted at the driver, “Go, before I murder someone.”

From City Hall to Fifth Avenue, Jennifer ranted on and on. Mainly about how they could extract themselves from that ridiculous marriage. She repeatedly asked Cai over and over again, “Did you fuck the little bitch?”

Cai didn’t know what to say, except to shake his head
no, no, no.

Inside her apartment, Jennifer’s rant continued on and on.

He couldn’t bear it. This was what she was like, all the time. Telling him what to do, where to go, how to compose himself. He’d had enough and shouted, “Why do you think I got hitched, huh? I don’t even fucking like the girl, you know? I’m just so fucking ready to be rid of you!”

“Pardon me? Do you really think you can talk to me like that?”

“Oh my god. Seriously? Do you really think you can punch someone and get away with that? Jackie’s innocent, you know! It’s not her fault. I should’ve told her I was desperate but I think she already knew.”

“Jackie gave you that alibi all those years ago, didn’t she? Yes, I know the truth! I just told her mommy and daddy that if she doesn’t stay away from you, I’ll go to the police and tell them she perjured herself. That’s right. Some friends of mine were at a party the day your mother died… a garden party that Jackie and her whole family were also at. She was nowhere in the borough when all those things were going down at
Sub Rosa
.”

Cai kicked the floor angrily. “Jennifer, cease with the detective work, will you? It’s been four years and she’s not coming back, don’t you get it! Mom is dead and you just broke an innocent girl’s nose ’cause you can’t control yourself. How you got that job, I don’t fucking know. One day, people might realise just who you really are, you know? Not the philanthropic titan you portray yourself as, that’s for sure!”

“I shall wait for that day, Kincaid. Nobody can touch me… they can’t get near
this.
”

“Don’t call me that name, it’s a bullshit name.”

He sat on the leather couch, pouring a brandy from the bottle already there on the walnut coffee table. A bottle she nightly abused.

“It’s your name, Kincaid,” she repeated, “we’re not on the farm now. We’re in Manhattan. Don’t talk as if you don’t know what my life is like. You know how much this job means to me and you rebelling every second you get, it reflects on me. Badly.”

“Fuck you,” he said, the brandy talking.

“I will not have you disrespecting me. I gave you a roof over your head when those backward hicks would have had you still eating horse feed the rest of your life.”

He stood up in a rush, the glass spilling some of its contents. “Don’t talk about those people. Don’t. They gave me more than you ever have. Don’t go there. Just, don’t.”

Cai still thought of Claire and Dirk as the only two people to ever show him any kind of true humanity.

“Whatever,” Jennifer turned her back on him, “you are not staying married to that trollop. You’re not going to art school… you are going to stop fighting and you are going to grow up.”

Cai slammed his glass on the table and rushed toward Jennifer. He wrapped a hand around her neck and squeezed. “Don’t push me. I know my mother killed Philippe alright, so don’t you think I’m not capable too. You fucking bitch… you’re trying to ruin my life. Not any more.”

She lost footing and fell to the floor, even his strength unable to hold her up just by the neck. He stood without emotion, staring down at her crumpled form. A few minutes passed before he panicked, realising even though it would solve problems if she were dead, he didn’t need that hanging over his head. He reached down and found her breathing—maybe just passed out.

He left her there and went back to the sitting area again, taking another brandy. He checked his phone and found several messages from Jackie, all saying roughly the same thing.
I love you. I will wait. My parents hate me, too. This is awful. I want to kill myself.

He sent a reply:
My aunt is going to file for an annulment. I think it’s best, actually. You don’t want to be mixed up in our lives, Jackie. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what else to say
.

JACKIE:
We made love, though?

CAI:
No we didn’t. I don’t know how to love. I am sorry.

He placed the phone in a glass of water and watched the screen go blank. This was a mess he would have to shut himself off from, just like the death of his parents. When he was 14, he didn’t think there was anything or anyone to mourn. Only now he was 18, he was even angrier and getting angrier by the minute.

Jennifer groaned and stood straight, holding her head. “God, I feel awful.”

“You probably need to take your painkillers and those other pills Claire still sends you. You know, for the arthritis? Even though she’s a hick, you know, she’s kind enough to get your pharmaceuticals so nobody knows you’re fucked up. Huh?” He looked at his lap the whole time he talked.

“What are you talking about? Cai, where am I?” A subtle softness in her voice alerted him, made him suspicious.

“Did you hit your head that hard, huh?”

“Why are you grown up?”

“What?” His speech lingered on the ‘t’.

“I remember, I think…” she looked at her clothes, confused, “…I was talking to Jennifer. I had the gun… and then it went off.”

Cai’s breath left him and he panicked.
No.

“Jennifer… is she okay?”

“You’re Jennifer.”

“No, I’m your mum.” She stared around the room, still.

Cai examined her carefully and she stood just like his mother once had, her arms folded tightly against her body in defence. Her fingers weren’t clutched together, gnarled like Jennifer’s were. Her eyes darted faster around the room and she didn’t become the outfit she was wearing, nor the make-up. She had that tick of a nervous disposition, her neck clicking every minute or so.

“This is definitely a place Jenny would have. Look at all this wood… these mirrors. She liked a good carpet, our Jenny. Ha. I even look like I’m wearing her—”

A small, primal scream came from her mouth. Her whole form began shaking. Cai and Claudia looked at one another, some recognition setting in. He was an adult. She was his actual mother. He could see it now: the softness of her speech and stare, the gentleness of her stance and appearance. He always thought it was just that his aunt and mother looked so similar but the personalities, so different. In every way.

“Oh god,” cried Cai.

“It… happened… again, didn’t it? This time… I became her. I don’t want to be. I…”

She wrapped her own hands around her neck and within moments, she was out of it again. A defence mechanism—forcing herself to pass out. Cai checked she was still breathing and then thought of a course of action.

He reached for the landline, calling
Sub Rosa.

“Hello?” answered Claire.

“It’s me, Cai. Oh god… why didn’t you tell me?”

“Oh. Cai… what happened, dear?”

“It’s… Mom. It’s… it was Mom. I dunno… how. I can’t. She just choked herself and went out of it again.”

“Damn it. Oh, damn it.” Claire seemed panicky. “Listen, Cai, listen to everything I have to say. This won’t be easy, but just listen… you have to do exactly as I say.”

Past

CAI PANICKED, HE didn’t know what Claire was telling him. “When she wakes, ask her to find a safe place, ask her… to… to… take herself to a safe place!” Her voice was fraught. “I can’t believe this has happened! I can’t believe it! Oh my god. All these years, what happened? Something must have happened to have made her switch after all these damn years?”

“We had a big fight, alright? I got married today and she went ballistic!”

“Oh, you silly boy. Married! You’re only 18!”

“Listen Claire, you don’t know what it has been like. How could you not tell me? Why did nobody tell me?”

“We were only trying to protect you, Cai. You know it.”

“How did this happen? How did this happen?” He clutched his hair and began crying. Claire listened for several minutes while he sobbed his heart out. “I thought my own damn mother was dead! When she woke up then, Claire… it was like a minute had passed since four years ago. A minute. I was under that damn window seat, Claire! Okay! I thought my mother had killed herself! I truly thought she had! I thought it was just that Jennifer and my mother looked so much the same! Why did you damn fools not tell me!”

He finished barking, still disbelieving, and cried while Claire told him, “When she wakes, you have to hope and pray she returns as Jennifer. If not, if she is Claudia again, tell her to take herself to a safe place. Remind her she has a job to do, remind her she’s Jennifer. Remind her to look after you. Just do those things and let her be. I don’t know what else to do, Cai. I don’t know what else to do. She might kill herself if she turns back into your mother. I just don’t know what else to do.”

He hung up the phone and watched while his mother laid on the floor, her breathing deep. Still under. He couldn’t help but wish for his mother to come back to him. While he waited an agonising hour and a half for her to come round, he thought about his father and realised he wasn’t all that bad. He must have known his mother’s secret and carried it.

Jennifer didn’t have many friends and had never encouraged Cai to have any either. He knew from watching her over the years that she had gotten calmer as time went on but she was still aggressive in her tactics when she wanted to be. The sudden thought of Cai leaving her must have tripped her fragile mind. He was her Achilles heel, a motherly love more powerful than any other emotion.

“For god’s sake, these bloody headaches! Did I pass out? What the hell am I doing on the floor?” She complained as she woke, as Jennifer. He ran for the pills on her desk and passed them to her.

“I don’t know which you need. Tell me and I’ll get some water.”

“Just the painkillers. I only need those strange vitamins Claire sends me once a day. By the way, I think they’re not doing anything for my skin. I need more botox. I don’t look at all how I should do. It’s getting out of hand.”

“You look okay to me.”

She shot him a look. “Don’t think I’ve forgotten about your mistake. We need to call Klaus and have him lock this down, no media coverage. I need to get Wally on the line and ask him to start scrubbing this off the records immediately. No marriage ever existed.”

“Jennifer, you were passed out a couple hours. Time has passed. People are bound to have spotted the commotion you caused earlier. It’ll be difficult to make this go away, you know?”

“This is your fault!” she shouted at him.

“I know. I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“You didn’t screw the little harlot?” Jennifer chomped on her tongue.

“No. No.”

“Good. Don’t bother with little troublemakers like her. Just get yourself a woman of the night if you need that sort of thing, okay? I understand, you know? Don’t think I’m ignorant there… I know you’re grown now. You have hormones and urges. You’re a man after all, but these women only want your money or a route to me. Just get yourself laid, I’ll pay if it means you’re not going down City Hall every Saturday.”