Unbinding (41 page)

Who had been needed to deal with a mad god? Not Nathan alone. Not Kai alone, either, but both of them together.

“Yes,” Nathan said firmly, “but not now. The thing is, I don’t know how to do this right.”

“Do what?”

“I even read some women’s magazines. I was right,” he said darkly. “They didn’t help at all. Muddled my mind up, they did, with all their advice.”

“Hmm.” Deeply curious, but willing to let him play this out his way, she didn’t ask any of the questions bubbling up.

They reached a little pocket-size park, one of those small islands of green in the city. This one held trees, with a narrow concrete path so you could wander among them without getting your shoes dirty. “Here we are,” he said with relief. “This is the best I could come up with. Mostly I just gave up,” he admitted. “It seems I’m not good at romance.”

“I can’t agree with that.”

“This one,” he said, drawing her over to a tall oak that looked older than the other trees. “Its roots go deep.” He placed her up against the tree. “Kai, you are sure about taking service with the Queen?”

She nodded, bemused.

He expelled his breath in a gusty sigh. “Good. That’s good.” He pulled something out of his pocket. A jewelry box. A small, square jewelry box. He opened it.

There were two rings. One was white gold or platinum, she wasn’t sure which—a wide, silvery band set with turquoise chips in the shape of a simple rune. The one that meant
always
. The other was made of some dark metal she didn’t recognize. It was larger, but had the same turquoise chips set in the same rune. “They aren’t the usual, but neither are we, and I thought—but if you’d like something different, we can do that. Do you want one of the diamond ones? The engagement kind? I didn’t think you would, but—”

“Nathan—”

“I couldn’t ask you before or let you know that I wanted to. Vowing to my Queen, that needed to be your decision, freely made, so I didn’t want you thinking about this decision instead of that one. But now you’ll be made a legal adult, able to make agreements in your own right. It’s forever I want, like humans try for and Wild Sidhe do, not the sort of contract elves make, which can mean almost anything. Though we may want to make up a contract later, something they’ll understand—the elves, I mean. We can talk about that. And you may want a ceremony with the dress and your grandfather and all, but we can do that later, too. But this . . . among my people, you see, it’s just between you and me.”

“Nathan—”

“If you don’t want to, you’ll still be my Kai. You can’t stop being mine, and I don’t need anything to show
that
, but this ring says that I’m yours, too, and I . . . I would very much like that.”

“Nathan, you haven’t
asked.
”

Light shone at the back of his eyes, a glow turning the winter sky luminous. “The asking and answering, that’s the whole thing, for my people. The rings aren’t part of it for Wild Sidhe, but I thought you’d like them, and I liked them, so . . . but once I ask and you say, and you ask and I say, it’s done, and there’s no changing it.”

“Nathan. Ask.”

He handed her the dark ring, the one sized for his finger. He took out the other one—the silvery ring that, like his, said “always”—and held it in one hand and her hand in the other. His voice was husky. “Will you marry with me, Kai?”

She smiled—a fresh-minted smile, one invented just for this moment. Just for him. “Yes.”

I
T
was a small room. Not cozy—elves didn’t do cozy—but as close to that as they came, with large, soft cushions scattered invitingly on the gleaming wooden floor and a small fire burning merrily in an ancient stone trough. No wood needed for that fire, of course. It burned air and magic and someone’s intention.

Kai didn’t dare sit on one of those cushions. She was terrified of wrinkles. Or smudges or dust, though it was highly unlikely any dust was allowed here, in one of the most private places in Winter’s court. She wore white, pristine, glistening white, draped around her in a way only an elf could pull off properly. The color and style of the dress were obligatory. In a short time she would leave this room and go to the Great Audience Chamber. There she would make her vows to the Queen of Winter in view of her entire court.

There had been a moment when she thought the offer might be withdrawn.

She and Nathan had made their report to the Queen, but Winter had known the key fact before they returned: the one they called Dyffaya was finally, fully dead. She knew this, she told them, because “chaos has returned to Faerie.”

“Oh,” Nathan had said. “I suppose it would. I hadn’t thought of that.”

Kai had needed that explained. For over three millennia, Dyffaya had occupied the godhead, but his worship had been utterly banned. For over three millennia, therefore, chaos had been severely limited, its spiritual power unavailable.

And now it was.

Change was coming to the realms. To the elves, who loved stability almost as much as they loved beauty. The Queen had not been happy about that, but after a moment she’d sighed. “I cannot regret it. Sandetti is at rest now. If the rest of us are due for unrest, perhaps that is fitting.”

Kai thought about that conversation, alone in the almost-cozy little chamber. And then she wasn’t.

“I am here, as you asked,” Winter said in a crystal-pure voice, “and I am curious.”

No door had opened to admit the Queen, not that Kai had seen. Startled as much by the Queen’s beauty—she simply could not grow used to it—as by her sudden appearance, Kai was slow in making her bow.

“No, don’t. We leave our stations outside this room. Here, it is just you and I.”

“Thank you for coming,” Kai said. “I have a request. This isn’t part of our deal, but separate. A favor, I guess, though I’m told I shouldn’t ask for favors—but maybe this one goes both ways. It’s about the token of your service I’m to accept. I . . .” She was making a mess of this. “Let me show you.” She held out the ring she’d had made—a simple circle framing one of the
tétel an bo
gems the Queen had given them. An eye-of-the-sky. “If you don’t mind, Lady, I’d like to wear this as your token.”

Winter glanced at the simple ring—then looked up sharply at Kai’s face. She said nothing.

“It’s the color of his eyes,” Kai said softly.

Winter’s eyes went dark as night, but a quiet night, calm and ancient. And grieving. “He was a great man.”

“He was.”

“We asked too much of him,” she said abruptly. “We were desperate. The war was not going well. But we asked too much.”

We . . . ? But—

“Surely you knew that? You didn’t.” Winter shook her head. “Child, he was on our side in the Great War. He fought those who would have taken choice away from us. I don’t know if we could have won without him . . . but we did win, and he lost. He lost everything.” She fell silent, caught by memories Kai had no part in.

Little part in, anyway. A few snatches of memory shared by a dying god didn’t give her the right to intrude on someone else’s memory of those events.

Finally the Queen stirred and looked at her. “Why that for your token?”

“Because it will remind me . . . you aren’t human, and it’s good to remember that, so I don’t expect human things from you. What you are, I can’t see clearly, but I know you were a true friend to Sandetti. Your promise to him cost you dearly, both in the giving of it and when the time came to honor it—but you honored it. And I want to carry a reminder of him, too. Of what he once was, before he was broken. And what I learned from him about myself.”

Winter’s lips turned up ever so slightly. “Your name.”

Kai stared.

“Come, did you think you could discover your true name and I wouldn’t notice?” She smiled, suddenly impish. “I suppose I ought to tell you. You became a legal adult the moment you learned your true name, no matter how absurdly young you might be. You humans—always in a hurry.”

“I don’t see how you . . . I didn’t realize it myself. I just kept remembering what—there at the last, the very last moment, he whispered it, but it was weeks before I could call it up clearly, and understand.” Though when she told Nathan, he’d known. Without her saying a word, he’d known. “Actually, I still don’t understand. I know, but I don’t understand.”

“I will tell you a secret.” Winter leaned closer and whispered. “Understanding your name—that is the work of a lifetime.” She straightened, looking quite pleased with herself for no reason Kai could see. “Are you still minded to take service with me?’

“I am. Yes.” The legal-adult part of the deal had never been what mattered most. And she didn’t distrust Winter anymore. She might not see the Queen clearly. There was so much of her, and she was not human. But something in Kai recognized something in this Queen. Something worthy of service.

“Good. You belong in my domain, you know. You are as ruthless as I in its service.”

“I am?”

Winter’s eyes were now as pale and hard and bright as stars. “Of course. That is how I know you will never become a binder.” Winter was probably reading her mind again, for she nodded. “Yes. You serve truth, as I do. You killed a god with it. As did I.” She glanced down at the ring in her hand—and when had it moved from Kai’s hand to hers? “The answer to your question is, yes, I will use this as your token. You are right. It is a favor that runs both ways. Come,” she said, and held out her arm. “Let us amaze my court by entering together.”

Kai grinned, thinking of how shocked some of those elves would be at the sight of a human shown such favor. And placed her hand on the Queen’s arm.

PLACES

Aléri:
city in the Queens’ realm (Iath); Winter’s court spends time there

Adelsfrai:
a region in one of the sidhe realms

Angorai:
a sidhe realm

Annabaka:
city in one of the sidhe realms where Kai was attacked by a mind-controlled assassin

El Cahon:
a small town near San Diego

Fagioli:
coffee shop in San Diego

Iath:
home realm of the two sidhe Queens, Winter and Summer

Kakkar:
an especially nasty region of one sidhe realm

Kumeyaay Highway:
one of the main highways in San Diego

ELFIN/SIDHE WORDS AND TERMS

Alath:
a trio of nonmaterial beings (there are only three, or possibly one being in three parts) that Nathan mentions; they/it are called Alath by the sidhe but do not have a word-name for themselves

adit:
a handmade honor gift

behi’yeli absore né:
“the mad gods laughed”—a well-known saying or quotation among the sidhe

birith:
that spectrum or range of magic which includes healing magic, body magic, and transformational magic

Dei’ri het Kai ahm insit?:
“Will it make Kai sick?”

• dei is the uncertain form of “it,” used when the object isn’t known well enough to specify gender; used here with the suffix
  ri
  to indicate a question about the future. In the most common sidhe tongue, subjects, not verbs, are modified for tense.
  
• het = verb form of cause
  
• ahm = a linking verb similar to “to be”
  
• insit = physical malaise
  

Devrai:
a sidhe race

Dirushi:
a sidhe race

eriahu:
poison

Jisen dá, oran-ahmni:
“shut up, dot-eater”

kish:
an innate, unalterable ground that determines the form someone’s magic takes; a matrix

liarda:
rather like leather jockstraps. Worn by gladiatorial slaves in one region of a sidhe realm.

Nathveta:
no clear English translation, though “blessings” comes close; to call
nathveta
on someone means to actively desire good fortune for someone whose actions altered events in one’s favor, even if that favor was not intended. Elves consider this an obligation.

One-off:
English translation of a sidhe term for someone—almost always of mixed blood—with a rare or unique Gift that is unlikely to be inheritable

Osiga:
one of the Hundred Names (sidhe families or clans)

p’tuth:
revenge as performance art

tétel an bo:
eye-of-the-sky, a beautiful turquoise-colored gem with a white, star-shaped incursion

NAVAJO WORDS

Azhé’é:
Father

Hataali:
medicine maker

Doko’oosliid:
Abalone Shell Mountain, one of the holy mountains

Diné:
the People

Diné Bizaad:
the Navajo language

Bilagáana:
white person

Yázhi Atsa:
Little Eagle

OTHER UNUSUAL WORDS

Sukhasan:
a yoga term

Ent:
a tree-being (from Tolkien)

marbligpot’th:
(unknown derivation) a magical configuration

Nokolai:
a lupi clan

Rho:
the leader of a lupi clan

Rhej:
the memory of a clan; Lady-touched