Unbreakable (15 page)

“Sophie, don’t make me answer that.”

“Miller, who knows what will happen in the future. What if we never see each other again?”

“That’s all the more reason not to do this!” he answered in aggravation.

“I don’t see it that way. I know I would regret it for the rest of my life if I’d been offered the opportunity and not taken it.”

“Sophie, don’t try to use emotional blackmail on me.”

“I’m not. I’m explaining my point of view.”

“Say we sleep together; you honestly think you could keep emotions out of this? You’d end up blaming me for leaving even though I had no choice.”

“I’m under no illusions here, Miller. You and I both know you’re leaving. That doesn’t mean I have to keep feelings out of it. We can share feelings of trust and respect. We’d be going into this with both eyes open.”

“And what about protection? I didn’t exactly come here prepared.”

“I did.” She reached for her bag nearby and retrieved a condom. “I…uh…thought I’d be prepared just in case.”

Miller cursed. “Geez, Sophie. You’re not making this any easier.”

Stepping close to him, she reached out and touched his cheek. “Miller, if you honestly don’t want this then that’s fine; I understand. But whatever you want, tell me the truth.”

He stared long and hard into her eyes, his mind reeling as emotions churned inside him. Did he want this? That part was easy. Physically and emotionally he was on fire for her. For months he had tried unsuccessfully to block fantasies of what it would be like to sleep with Sophie. However, his ever-present voice of reason always eventually asserted itself, convincing him of what a bad idea it would be and encouraging him to believe that she only felt friendship for him.

Now here she was offering him the very thing he’d been fantasizing about for months with no strings attached. The more he thought about it, the more he wanted to be swayed by her arguments. However, the little voice kept hammering in his head that even contemplating sleeping together was crazy… Suddenly a memory lit up in his mind with startling clarity. He remembered Sophie’s New Year’s resolution for him.

“Do something epically crazy…”

“Pardon?” Sophie looked at him quizzically.

“The New Year’s resolution you asked me to do.” He reached out and stroked her jaw softly, tracing his thumb over her lips as he murmured “So, Sophie, how’s your relationship with your parents? The last time I heard, things were improving…”

Remembering her own resolution she had made with him, she grinned with dawning comprehension. “You heard correctly. I’ve been making an effort.”

“Well I guess you held up your end of the deal, so it’s only fair that I stick to my resolution. This seems fittingly crazy…” Dipping his head he kissed her lightly, teasingly, his lips brushing over hers as he whispered “I’ll tell you honestly what I want, Sophie. I want you.”

Six years later.

Sophie closed the door of her apartment behind her as she flicked through the mail for the day. There was nothing that couldn’t wait, so she dropped the pile of letters on the hallway table, shrugged off her coat and hung it up, and then wandered through to the kitchen where she retrieved a glass and a bottle of wine. Moving through to the lounge, she sank down into the welcoming comfort of her couch, stretched her legs out and poured herself a glass of wine. It had been a long, exhausting day but Patrick and his dad had made a real breakthrough today. A little personal celebration was definitely in order.

She hit the answering machine playback button and settled into the cushions as she listened to the messages. One was from her mother, confirming dinner reservations while she would be in town. Another was from Abby, reminding her not to forget the flowers for Janice’s birthday. The friends had made up within a few months of Sophie returning back from Texas. She was surprised and pleased on hearing her aunt’s voice in the third message. Sipping her wine she listened as the message played through, becoming increasingly surprised as it progressed. When the message was done she hit replay, listening to it again before sitting still and considering this unexpected news.

Miller had finished his military service and was back home. In fact he’d been back home for three weeks now. She wondered why he hadn’t gotten in touch to let her know. Granted, their contact was sporadic but she would have thought Miller would have told her he was home. Her aunt’s message had included a request for Sophie to phone her when she was free. Glancing down at her watch, she reckoned she wouldn’t be disturbing anyone if she called now.

Within a few seconds she heard her aunt’s voice on the end of the line. “Hi, Aunt Kay. It’s Sophie. How are you?”

“Sophie, sweetheart! Oh trucking along as usual. How are you doing?”

“I’m good, Aunt Kay. I got your message. I’m pleased Miller’s back.”

“So are we, honey.” She could detect the hesitation in her aunt’s voice before she continued. “I’m really glad you called. I don’t like asking this as I know you’re busy but…well…”

Sophie waited for a few seconds before prompting her. “What is it, Aunt Kay?”

Her aunt sighed softly. “It’s Miller, sweetheart. Since he’s been back he’s been…different. We’re worried about him.”

“Different how?”

“He keeps to himself. Doesn’t say much.”

“Well he’s probably just settling in. Being back on the ranch must be quite an adjustment after life in the army.”

“Your uncle and I thought the same thing but it’s been three weeks. He’s changed, Sophie. There’s something wrong and he won’t tell us what it is. We were hoping you could come and see him. Maybe a visit from an old friend would help.”

“I wouldn’t want to just drop in, Aunt Kay. If he wants to see me surely he’ll let me know. I mean, I didn’t even know he was back.”

“He told us not to tell you.”

“What?” Sophie frowned at the news.

“When we suggested that you come for a visit he told us he didn’t want you to know he was back.”

“Oh…well it’s been a long time since we last saw each other, almost four years when he got leave and came back to the ranch for two weeks. We’re not as close as we used to be…”

“You kept in contact. You sent letters and emails. I think it would be good for him to see a friendly face, someone removed from the ranch. Maybe you could also…”

“Also what?”

“Give us your personal opinion on him.”

“My personal opinion? Aunt Kay, I don’t understand.”

“Um…an assessment, I suppose, would be the way to view it.”

“An assessment?” Sophie paused for a few seconds to consider her words. “Hold on, do you want me to do some sort of psychological evaluation on him?”

“Yes.”

“That’s really not my area of expertise, Aunt Kay. I’m a children’s social worker.”

“I know, but you have training in counseling.”

“But not for soldiers, Aunt Kay. Besides, the army would have provided counseling for Miller.”

“Not if they didn’t know he needed it.”

“Aunt Kay, they’re pretty good at knowing things like that. It can be a highly stressful environment.”

“Sophie, please come. I know it’s asking a lot. If you could just manage a few days even…”

Sophie had never heard before the pleading tone she now heard in her aunt’s voice. “I’m going to need to get some vacation time. I can’t say for sure right now when I’ll be able to make it but I can get back to you within a couple of days.”

“Thank you, Sophie. We really appreciate this.”

“That’s okay. Just don’t get your expectations up. I don’t know what I’ll be able to do. I’ll speak to you soon. Bye, Aunt Kay.”

“Bye, honey.”

Sophie ended the call and sat still, staring at nothing in particular as her mind played back over the last time she had seen Miller. It had only been for three days but he had seemed fine then. Of course, a lot could happen in four years…but in all the letters and emails he never mentioned that he was having problems of any kind. To be fair, there was no doubt a lot of information that he had kept from her but in his last email he had seemed okay. It was a short paragraph, basically telling her he was fine and hoping she was doing well. So sure, there wasn’t a lot of information to go on but she didn’t expect him to get into details when he had limited time to spare.

Still, she could arrange some time off. It would be nice to have a break. She could visit the ranch for a few days, no doubt assure her aunt and uncle that Miller was fine, and then leave him in peace to get back into the way of things as a civilian. The rest of her time off she could spend relaxing at home. But why hadn’t he wanted to see her…? Frowning at her thoughts, she took a sip of wine. There was no need to take it personally; surely he just wanted some space and time for himself. Probably by the time she arrived at the ranch he would be slotted into the way of things again and her aunt and uncle’s minds would be at ease.

***

His body was covered in sweat and his muscles had long ago passed the burning point but Miller continued to run. His feet pummeled into the dirt track as he pressed onwards, the exhaustion in his body mercifully drowning out all other thoughts. The ground flew by under his feet as dawn greeted him with silence interrupted only by the sounds of his heavy breathing. Seeing the end of his run in sight – the small building adjacent to his parents’ home which had been converted into a residence for him – he pushed himself harder with a final burst of speed before stopping his stopwatch and glancing at the time.
Ten-second improvement from yesterday…not good enough. Should have pushed myself harder
.

Opening the door to his temporary home, he walked to the sink and drank a glass of water before heading to the bathroom to take a shower. He welcomed the uncomfortable ache in his muscles as he showered, soap bubbles half-obscuring the jagged shrapnel scars on his side and hip that served as a constant reminder of his failure. He loathed and loved those scars in equal measure. They would never allow him a moment’s peace, but then why should he have any peace? He didn’t deserve it.

After he had finished his shower and changed into his work clothes, he drank a cup of coffee and walked to the stables where he commenced the daily task of mucking out the stalls. The other horses ignored him but Blizzard watched him patiently. Footsteps sounded on the concrete behind him but, assuming it was one of the ranch hands, he ignored them.

“Hello, Miller.”

His body instantly stilled, although his hands gripped his shovel tighter.
God, please, no
. Hoping that he had imagined the voice, he straightened up slowly, forcing himself to loosen his grip as he turned around. The woman standing a few feet from him was dressed casually in jeans, sneakers and a plain white long-sleeved shirt that contrasted with the black, glossy tresses that hung freely over her shoulders. She’d grown into her curves since the last time he’d seen her and the person before him was now all woman. He couldn’t stop the instant attraction he felt for her but that was neither here nor there. What mattered was getting rid of her as soon as possible.

“What are you doing here?”

Sophie took his lack of greeting in stride. “I’ve got time off work. Thought I would catch up with family.”

“Kay or Philip told you I was here.”

Sophie stared evenly at him. “Kay called me. She also told me that you didn’t want to see me.”

He didn’t deny it. “So why did you come then?”

“Just because you don’t want to see me doesn’t mean I am not allowed to visit my aunt and uncle.”

“So it’s just coincidence that you came here five weeks after I got back?”

“We were bound to run into each other at some point.”

“I don’t know what game you think you’re playing, Sophie, but you’re wasting your time here. You should just go back home.” He turned his back on her and continued shoveling. Hopefully if he ignored her she would leave. He heard footsteps a few moments later but rather than retreating, they advanced towards him. In his peripheral vision he saw Sophie step around him and walk towards Blizzard’s stall. Reaching her hand out, she gave the mare an affectionate scratch on her forehead.

“Hello, girl. It’s good to see you,” she murmured, rubbing the horse’s neck. Suddenly she gave an exclamation of delighted surprise. “And who is this?”

Tilting his head up, he watched the grin spreading on her face as she looked over the stall door. Turning back to face him, she looked at him questioningly. He decided that the quickest way to get rid of her was to answer her questions. “Her name is Obsidian.”

“Obsidian…that’s lovely.” Sophie turned back to look at the black foal that stood next to Blizzard. “How has Blizzard’s breeding been going?”

“Fine.” He continued to shovel, wanting to offer as little conversation as possible so she would get the hint and go.

Sophie stared at him for a while before stepping back from the stall. “Do you want a hand? It could be like old times again. I remember when we met I was the one shoveling horse manure.”