Unbreakable (35 page)

Alex

I sat at the table in Craft, listening to a dozen conversations in the private room, which was beautiful and modern at the same time. The striped carpet, smoky glass walls, and rustic paneled ceiling surrounded us in warm caramel shades. The tables were set beautifully, with place cards resting on gleaming china, glowing candles flickered, and silver napkin rings engraved with
Andrew and Alexandra, Forever in Love
on the dinner plates as parting gifts.

I sat, surrounded by forty of my closest friends, colleagues, and Drew. My fiancé looked so handsome in his dark suit and red tie. He chatted and laughed with those around us, as waiters circulated pouring wine or offering cocktails and plates of cheese and marinated olives. We were waiting on some latecomers, including my parents, and then the party would begin in earnest.
And there will be no going back.

I smoothed down my cocktail dress. It was a fire engine red Max Azria: sleeveless and satin and sexy. I had bought it several months ago and I could still remember thinking, on that day, that if this dress didn’t turn Drew’s head, nothing would. Nerves had tingled in my stomach when he’d arrived at my parents’ house to pick me up earlier that night.

He’d kissed my cheek and said, “You look stunning, as usual.”

A wonderful compliment, but I’d wanted his jaw to drop, his face to flush. I wanted to feel his breath in my ear with a whispered a promise to tear the dress off of me the moment we got home. Instead, he’d beamed sweetly, offered me his arm, and said nothing more.

I sighed now, and watched my bosses chat at the second of two tables set up for our guests. Jon caught my eye and held up a leather portfolio, cheekily wrapped in a bright red ribbon. I forced a smile for his sake and quickly looked away.

Drew patted my hand and went to chat with some EllisIntel people when Lilah arrived with her plus-one: a tall, incredibly handsome man with black hair and piercing blue eyes. Alex watched as Minnie’s jaw fell open and she nudged Antoinette beside her. The two of them stared as Lilah steadfastly ignored them, and took her seat opposite me.

“This is Matthew Cross,” she introduced her date. “Matthew, this is the lady of the hour.”

“A pleasure,” Matthew said smoothly, “and congratulations.” He kissed Lilah on the cheek. “Going to track down a cocktails.”

“Whiskey sour, thanks.”

Matthew looked inquiringly at me, but I declined. When he was gone, Lilah laughed at my expression. “He’s not a rental, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“He seems like a gentleman. Work?”

“A conference in Santa Barbara, and yet he’s local. What are the odds?”

I forced another smile, thinking I didn’t have too many of those left in me. Lilah leaned in.

“Hey. Are you all right? You know, I still held out hope this shindig was going to be cancelled.”

“I should have,” I confessed, the words pouring out on a wave of panic that had been bottled up all night. “I can’t do this, Lilah. I can’t. With or without Cory, this feels wrong. I feel like a stranger among all these people. But it’s too late. We’re already here. So many people...What am I going to do?”

“Breathe, honey. Breathe. And it’s not too late. I’ll help you. You talk to Drew, and I’ll send everyone home. Whatever you want.”

My hands throttled the napkin in my lap, twisting and turning it. “I…”

A waiter approached and bent to speak in my ear. “There’s a Mr. Bishop outside to see you. He says it’s very urgent.”

My heart stopped and then took off at a gallop, like a startled horse. The napkin fell to the ground. I stared at Lilah. “He’s here.”

“Who? Cory?”

I nodded and got to my feet. I ignored the greetings and congratulations of my guests as I passed them—hardly heard them—as I made my way through the restaurant. I stepped out onto the sidewalk.

There was no one there.

My gaze darted about and found Cory’s truck in the valet line, and my father’s BMW just rolling up behind.

“Alex.”

I turned to my left and he was there, off to the side, as if he wanted to stay in the shadows of the falling night.

“Cory. What are you doing here?”

My imagination conjured scenes out of movies, where the hero breaks up the wedding to declare his love for the woman in front of gasping onlookers, to sweep her up in her arms and carry her off. But Cory’s handsome face was stoic, hard—as if he were trying to keep from breaking apart.

“I’m sorry…so sorry to show up here like this.”

“It’s okay.” I moved closer, wanted to touch him, to hold him together. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

“Georgia left. She left. To Alaska. And she didn’t take Callie.”

It took a moment for the full import of his words to sink and then I covered my mouth with my hand. “What? No…She’s gone?”

“Yeah, and now Callie…Callie’s really, uh…
upset
, and she wants to be in her room. At your house. She says that would make her feel better. And right now I’d commit murder if it made her feel better.”

“Where is she?”

“In the truck. At the valet.” A muscle in Cory’s jaw twitched. “She’s…not doing so great.”

A swift pain swept across my chest for the sweet little girl, and I thought I’d commit murder too, to take it away.
I’ll start with Georgia.

“The key. You need the key.”

“Yeah. Christ, I’m sorry, Alex. But I don’t know what else to do.”

“My purse is inside. I’ll get it. I’ll get it and be right back.”

I didn’t wait for a reply but hurried back into the restaurant. I found my purse on the chair where I’d left it and tore the key ring out with shaking hands.

Drew came up beside me. “Alex? Are you okay? What’s going on?”

“I have to…This goddamn key…” I tore the bungalow key off the ring and walked as fast as I could in my heels, Drew following behind.

Outside, I stopped short to see my parents standing with Cory. Lilah slipped up beside me. “It’s okay. It’s going to be okay.”

I gripped her hand.

“Alexandra.” My mother’s face was pinched. “We’ve just met your
friend
.”

“Yes,” my father said loudly, to override his wife’s disdain, “and I was just saying I’m so pleased to be able to shake the hand of the man who took care of my girl in that bank.” He extended his hand to Cory. “I can’t thank you enough, young man.”

Drew pushed forward. “You,” he seethed, incredulous. “I don’t fucking believe it. You’re
here
?” He rounded on me, accusing. “Once wasn’t bad enough? You felt the need to humiliate me here? Tonight?”

“No…I…”

I glanced around, a small crowd was forming. Antoinette and Rashida emerged from the restaurant; other guests were still arriving from valet. I felt panic course through me, stealing my grace, my ability to even speak. Lilah’s hand in mine was the only thing that felt real.

“I’m sorry, man,” Cory said. “It’s my fault. Alex had nothing to do with it.”

Drew sneered. “So what do you want? More help? What, an entire house wasn’t enough? Donations weren’t enough?”

“Drew!”

I pushed between them, my heart breaking for the way Cory’s face paled at the words. People were staring, muttering to themselves. I wanted to grab him and disappear. But he faced them all down, his head high, and looked at Drew.

“You’re right. I need help. It’s the last fucking thing I want to do but I’m standing here, asking for help. And yes, the timing couldn’t be shittier, but let me tell you,
it’s never the right time
.”

Tears sprung to my eyes. I know it cost him more to say that than it had to put his life in danger. Fierce pride welled in me, washing away the embarrassment. He had nothing to be embarrassed about. Nothing.

“I’m so sorry, Alex. I didn’t want to come here. But it’s for Callie and—”

“You show up for family,” I finished.

“Yeah. Yeah you do.”

I pressed the key into his hand and when his eyes found mine, my parents, Drew, Lilah…they all melted away and there was just Cory and me.

“I ruined your party,” he said.

“No,” I said softly. “I’m about to.” I longed to touch him but Callie needed him now. “Go.”

He lingered a moment more, his head bowed, then turned and jogged to his rugged truck parked amongst the idling Mercedes and Jags and BMWs. I could see Callie’s pale, unsmiling face in the passenger window of the cab, saw her little hand come up in a half-hearted wave.

I forced a smile and waved back, then laid my hand to my aching heart and watched the truck pull away, until it was lost to the stream of lights on Constellation Blvd. When I finally turned, it was to a ring of faces, each regarding me silently.

“I need to speak with Drew privately.”

“Of course,” Lilah said. “Mr. and Mrs. Gardener? Everyone? Inside, please.”

My mother looked inclined to protest but a look from my father and she snapped her mouth shut and let Lilah usher them back into the restaurant. The rest of the crowd retreated inside too, leaving Drew and me alone. We stood against the tall wall, with the sign glowing high above us.

“Drew, I’m so sorry…”

He shook his head, the hard lines of his anger melting to resignation. “It was my fault. I made it so much worse than it could have been. I just lost it. But I saw him and I knew.”

“Knew what?”

“That it was the end of us,” he said. “The anger surged in me but it was too late. I should have felt…
more
like it this whole time. You deserved more from me in every way, and now it’s too late. You’re in love with him. We all saw it. It was written all over your face.”

I reached one of his hands, and held it in both of mine. “It is over,” I said gently. “But not because of Cory. Because of us.”

“Because of me. I have a problem…”

“No, you don’t,” I said fiercely. “There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s not a problem, it’s how you are. Since always. Right?”

Drew looked so uncomfortable, but then he seemed to settle into the idea. “Yeah. Since I can remember, I just don’t…have the drive.”

I smiled. “It’s okay. But the solution is not for me to cheat on you in my bungalow whenever I feel like it. I should never have done it in the first place, and I’m so sorry. The idea of doing it again and again…” I shivered in the night air, in my sleeveless dress.

“It’s not fair,” I continued, “to you or to me. The guilt would chip away at our marriage until it fell apart. I deserve a partner who is my partner in every way, and so do you,” I added quickly and took his face in my hands, to force him to look at me.

“You do too, Drew. You deserve to not feel that pressure every day, a pressure that keeps you working until you can hardly see straight, you’re so tired, in order to avoid what you really don’t want to do. You deserve a life outside of the office, Drew, with a woman who wants and feels the same thing you do.”

“Where would I find this mythical woman?” he asked with forced levity.

“Have you heard of this fabulous new invention?” I teased lightly. “It’s called the Internet.”

Drew made a face. “I don’t see how online dating is going to help me.”

“Not for dating, exactly. To find other women who are the same as you.” I bit my lip. “Women who are…asexual too.”

He shifted uncomfortably, though I could see him turning the word over and over. I could
see
him grasp for it, like an answer to a question he’d been asking for years. “Is that what I am?”

“It’s not for me to say,” I replied. “Only you know for certain, but I think maybe…” I cocked my head. “Or…I can set you up with my paralegal. He’s always thought you were cute.”

Drew laughed but it faded quickly. He looked uncertain, not knowing what to do next.

I took his hands again. “I love you. You will always be in my heart, but we just can’t.”

“You’re right. I’ll tell them—”

I stopped him. “You tell them that it’s
your
idea. That you’ve decided to call it off. That I betrayed you. They should know it was all my fault.”

“They don’t need to know anything. They’ll fill in their own truths no matter what we say. But we’ll tell them, together, that we’ve decided we’re better as friends. That’s the truth, isn’t it? When all is said and done? We’re still friends?”

Tears stung my eyes. “Yes,” I whispered. “That’s the absolute truth.”

#

“Ladies and gentlemen.” Drew tapped a spoon against his glass. I stood beside him at the head of the table, my hand clutched in his. “If I could have your attention for a moment.”

Forty faces turned to us, expectant and celebratory, each thinking that this was the moment in which Drew and I declared our engagement. Only my parents and a handful of others knew differently, though I wondered how fast the gossip had spread. I found Lilah and she nodded solemnly, offering silent support.

I listened as Drew spoke, watched the smiles fall from faces, watched them be replaced by shock and confusion, heard the murmurs and whispers begin. I thought I’d feel humiliated or even scared, but all I could think of was Cory and his little girl, and how I ached to be with them.
My family,
I thought, and those that watched me mistook the tears in my eyes for everything Drew and I were undoing.