Unbridled Dreams (42 page)

T
HE WAY OF A FOOL IS RIGHT IN HIS OWN EYES
,
BUT A WISE MAN IS HE WHO LISTENS TO COUNSEL
.
Proverbs 12:15
NASB

Two weeks after Willa got back from New York, she was helping Laura can garden tomatoes when she heard the clatter of a buggy or wagon come tearing in. Everyone rushed outside just in time to see Orrin Knox jump down and head for the house. He lost his hat in the process, but he let it lay as he charged up and choked out, “Mr. Friedrich—” he gasped—“slumped over his desk. . . . He’s . . . at Dr. Sheridan’s. . . .”

Willa untied her apron and dropped it on the porch swing. At the bottom of the steps she turned back around. “His horse is worn out,” she said. “It’ll ruin him to run him back to town in this heat. Can someone hitch up Nellie?”

“Yes,” Laura said, “we’ll handle it.” She and Dora headed for the barn.

Minnie came back outside with a glass of water for Orrin. As she held it out she said, “I’ll see to your horse, Mr. Knox, while you help Aunt Willa into town.” Orrin gulped down the water, gasped a thanks, and grabbing his hat, went to help hitch up Nellie.

In moments Willa and Orrin were dashing back toward town. The ride seemed to take hours. Orrin said he knew nothing more, and Willa was left to her own thoughts as she hung on, hoping Nellie wouldn’t trip, a wheel wouldn’t hit a rut and break, and Otto wouldn’t die.
Please, God. Not like this. Don’t let it end like this.

The buggy had barely stopped before Willa jumped down and charged through the front doorway of Dr. Sheridan’s office, past his desk, and down a narrow hall to the room he called his hospital. It was really only a row of cots separated by folding screens. Otto was the only patient. He lay pale and motionless, and even when Willa spoke his name and grasped his hand, he didn’t move.

“I told him he was killing himself,” Dr. Sheridan said. “There’s not a man on earth who can keep up the hours that man’s been working and not suffer for it. He wouldn’t listen. Willard found him slumped at his desk when he went in to open the bank this morning.”

Willa sat down beside the bed. “Oh, Otto,” she whispered, and brushed his forehead with her fingertips. He was breathing evenly. As her fingers traced the line of his jaw, she noticed something different about the left side of his face. She touched the edge of his mouth, where his lips seemed to curve downward. “What is it?”

“A brain hemorrhage, I’m afraid.”

“Hemorrhage?” Willa croaked. “Doesn’t that mean bleeding?”

“It does,” Dr. Sheridan explained, “but in this case, the bleeding is
inside
the brain. Otto has suffered an attack of apoplexy. I won’t know the extent of the damage until he regains consciousness.”

“When will that be?”

“Only God knows. We must wait. And hope. He’s always had the strength of a bull. He doesn’t drink to excess. Those are going to be in his favor now, but the entire left side of his body may be affected and there may be some paralysis.”

Willa turned in the chair to look at the doctor. “He’s
paralyzed
?” She put her hand to her mouth.

“I said there
may
be some paralysis. There may be none at all.”

“But it could be serious,” Willa said. “And permanent?”

“That’s impossible to know right now.” The doctor put his hand on her shoulder. “I know you and Otto have had your problems of late, and I am truly sorry. But I also felt certain you’d want to know. And since Mr. Knox knows the family . . . I thought he’d be the one to come for you.”

Willa nodded. “Is it all right if I stay with him for a while?”

“As long as you like.”

She stroked the back of Otto’s hand. “Mr. Knox is probably waiting outside. Would you ask him to come in here?”

“I’ll send him right away,” the doctor said. “I have to mix up some powders for another patient. I’ll be in my office up front. If you notice any change—anything at all—call me right away.”

Willa nodded. Orrin came back. “I know it’s asking a lot,” she said, “but could you possibly take word to Laura and Charlie . . . ? And if I sent a list to Laura, would you bring a few things back into town?”

“Of course,” Orrin said. “Whatever you need, Mrs. Friedrich.”

She wrote the note. Orrin left. Willa cried.

Willa was in the middle of a nightmarish dream involving all her worst fears about Irmagard and the Wild West when a soft moan brought her fully awake. It was the middle of the night, and at first she didn’t know if she should run for the doctor or light the lamp, but as she moved to get up, she realized Otto wasn’t having another attack. He was trying to get up.

“Lay back,” she said, and grasped his arm. “You’ve had an attack of apoplexy. Willard found you, and you’re at the doctor’s clinic. The worst is over. You’ll continue to get better now. But it’s going to take some time, and—”

He wrested his arm free and grabbed her hand, squeezing it so hard it hurt. She pulled free and lit a lamp, then sat back down and recounted every detail of what Dr. Sheridan had done and said in regards to his care. “Speech is often the last to return,” she said. “You must be patient.”

He frowned and looked toward the door and then back at her.

“Shall I get Dr. Sheridan?”

With great effort he shook his head. Tears welled up in his eyes.

“There, there,” Willa said, and patted his shoulder. She took a deep breath. She’d thought about what she would say when he regained consciousness, but as she stared into his eyes, everything she had practiced seemed irrelevant. One thing seemed certain. She’d been asking God to show her what to do about her marriage, and God had answered in undeniable terms—at least for now. She forced a weak smile. It was the best she could do. “As soon as you’re able, I’m going to take you home.”

His tears spilled over. She wiped them away. He grabbed her hand again and tried to raise it to his lips. She resisted. “You need me right now, and I will do my duty.” Her voice wavered. She looked away. “That will have to be enough.” She patted his arm. “Sleep now,” she said as gently as she could. As any nurse would.

Feeling stiff from her night propped up in a chair, Willa walked to the front of the clinic while Dr. Sheridan examined Otto. As soon as he joined her, she asked, “Can you keep Otto here for a day or two while I get things ready at the house? As you know I haven’t been living there, and—”

“Are you certain you want to do that?” Dr. Sheridan said. “Otto’s going to need a great deal of help for the foreseeable future. Maybe even with very basic things for at least a few days. I’m already seeing improvement with his arm and leg this morning, which is a very good sign, but I won’t know to what extent he’s going to recover for quite some time yet. His speech may be the last thing to return—if it returns at all. It’s going to be difficult for him, and Otto’s not a man known for his patience. Which means caring for him will likely also be difficult because
he
may decide to be difficult. I don’t mean to pry, but if the two of you aren’t on the best of terms, perhaps—”

Willa interrupted him. “I hope it isn’t common knowledge, doctor, but Otto Friedrich has been
difficult
for much of our married life.” She paused. “As to our situation—” She looked away for a moment and then, with a sigh, looked back at the doctor. “I was the one who left. Otto didn’t want that. If I decide to return, I have no reason to think he’ll be anything but delighted. So if you could bring in a nurse for today and tomorrow, then I’ll drive back out to the ranch and pack. It will also give me time to open up the house. There’s probably a thick layer of dust over everything, and I’ll need to stock the pantry. Otto can stay in Ella Jane’s room on the main floor. Stairs won’t be an issue.”

“You’re going to need someone to help you with his daily care,” the doctor said.

“I wouldn’t know how to go about finding anyone,” Willa said. “As you know Ella Jane has married and left town, and I just don’t know anyone else to ask.”

“One of your nieces, perhaps?”

Willa shook her head. “Otto wouldn’t stand for that. His pride wouldn’t want them to see him this way.” She bit her lip. “Do you think I should wire Irmagard? If there’s any danger of—”

“We’ll know more in a few days,” the doctor said. “I think it’s quite all right to wait and see how things go before alarming your daughter. There are no guarantees, of course, but I have a sense that the worst is probably over.”

Willa cleared her throat. “Irmagard isn’t aware of the situation here, Dr. Sheridan. What I mean is, she doesn’t know about me staying out at the ranch and Otto moving into the hotel. To be honest, I wanted some time to think things through before making any kind of pronouncement to the family.”

“I understand,” Dr. Sheridan said. “Are you sure you don’t want me to make other arrangements for Otto’s care?”

“Oh, no. No. That wouldn’t be right. I couldn’t live with myself if I let you do that.”

“If you change your mind, you mustn’t hesitate to ask for help,” the doctor said. “I’ll check around to see if anyone might be available for hire. And if two days isn’t enough time for you to prepare to take him home, that’s all right, too.” He patted her arm. “You’re a good woman, Willa Friedrich. Otto’s blessed to have a woman in his life willing to do this for him—in spite of . . . problems.”

Willa nodded, gathered up her things, and headed for the livery. Before leaving town, she swung by the train station and asked Johnny Dolan to ready the barn at the house for Nellie’s return. At the last minute she thought to ask if he’d water Otto’s trees. And then she headed north to the ranch, wishing with all her heart that she could muster up some semblance of affection for the motionless man in Dr. Sheridan’s infirmary.

“I just don’t understand why you won’t let us send Minnie back with you,” Laura said. “We’re your family.”

Willa laid her everyday apron atop the things in her trunk and closed the lid. With a sigh, she sat down on her cot. “Otto’s a proud man, Laura. He’d never forgive me for allowing his own niece to see him like he is. Dr. Sheridan said he might be able to find someone I could hire. I’ll hope it pans out. If not, we’ll get by.”

“Are you going to wire Irma?”

“I don’t think so. At least not yet. Dr. Sheridan didn’t think it was necessary. He seems to think the worst is over. She’ll be coming home in a few weeks for a break after they’ve finished their fall tour anyway. And I’d much rather he be better before she sees him.”

Laura sat down next to her and took her hand. “Are you going to be all right with this?”

“I don’t know,” Willa replied. “I’m still so angry and hurt I can barely stand to look at him sometimes.” She swiped at a tear. “But then he plants
trees.
” She began to cry, grateful for the understanding apparent in Laura’s quiet presence. Once she’d calmed down, the two of them dragged Willa’s trunk through the door. Minnie and Dora came running and helped load it onto Willa’s buggy.

Minnie was the first to offer a hug. “I’ll pray, Aunt Willa,” she murmured. “And you
must
let me come and help if things get too hard.”

Dora nodded. “M-me t-t-oo,” she said. “I’d be happy to c-clean and wash d-dishes for you. All you need.”

Fighting back more tears, Willa hugged them all, climbed into the buggy, grabbed the reins, and headed home. At the top of the rise, she looked behind her at the peaceful ranch. How she would miss the loving family she’d come to know in new ways during the past few weeks.

Father, thank you for the Masons. Thank you for their love. Thank
you for the time out here. I don’t know if I’ve learned anything about
what I should do. Charlie said you have a plan, I just had to find it. Tell
me, Lord God, is Otto’s condition part of your plan? I’ll try my best to
do my duty, if for no other reason than Otto’s caring for me for all the
years of our marriage. I owe him this. But I need your strength, Father.
Maybe even a miracle or three.