Uncaged Desire: A MMA Sports Romance (12 page)

“I know, he told me.  I’m just messing with you.  Thank you by the way.”

“You’re welcome.  Do you want something to drink?  Dinner is just about ready.”

“I’ll just have something with dinner. Do you have any lemonade?”

I felt like a giddy kid as rummaged through the fridge for some lemons.  I wanted to make her whatever she wanted.

“I can make you fresh lemonade.”

“Oh my goodness, Lucas, that’s not necessary.  I’ll just have ice water.”

“I can whip it up in two seconds!”  Before she protested I started slicing lemons and her lemonade was ready in five minutes.

“You’re too much,” she said as she took a sip.  “Wow, this is delicious!”

“Thank you, it’s one of my favorite drinks when I’m not training.  Why don’t you have a seat and I will serve you.”

“Hmmm, I could get used to this special treatment.”

I winked at her.  “You just might have to.”

We made a lot of small talk during dinner and I was a nervous wreck as we finished eating.  I had to tell her about Sarah before the night was over and if I didn’t do it soon I was going to lose my nerve.  I noticed her glass was empty so I got up to get her more lemonade.

After I filled her glass I grabbed both hers and mine and looked at her.

“Why don’t we go get more comfortable on the couch.”

We settled into the cushions and I felt much more comfortable there and realized it was time.

“So, I have some news to tell you.”

She looked at me and I could have sworn I saw fear in her eyes.

“Okay.”

I took a sip of my water to quench my mouth that was suddenly dry.  “First of all I want you to know that I didn’t ask Sarah to meet me at the airport, she did that on her own.  Also, I had not talked to her in months so I was really surprised that she was there.”  I took a deep breath and kept going.  “She told me she is six months pregnant, I’m the father and she’s keeping the kid.”

I saw the blood drain from Kinsley’s face and her skin turned pasty.  I thought she was going to faint right in front of me, but thankfully that did not happen.  I could see her struggling to gather her thoughts.

“What?”  It was barely a whisper but the weight of the word said everything.  She was not happy.

I hung my head for a few seconds and then slowly raised me eyes to hers.

“She’s pregnant, Kinsley.”

“Why did she wait so long to tell you?”

“That part I’m not sure about.”

“So what does this mean, Lucas?  Are you getting back together with her?”

Her eyes were so sad and I just wanted to kiss the sadness away.  I quickly moved next to her and put my arm around her as my eyes searched hers.

“No.  I am not getting back together with her.  I had a great time with you in Mexico and I want to see where things go with us.  I only want you, Kinsley.”

“What are you going to do about the baby?”

“If it’s mine I am going to pay child support and have a relationship with my child, but that doesn’t include Sarah.”

She moved away from me slightly and held my gaze.

“Yes, it does Lucas.  Sarah is going to be in your life for the rest of the child’s life so you will have to have some type of relationship with her.  Did she act like she wanted to get back together with you?”

I didn’t want to lie to her so I told her the truth.

“Yes, but I don’t want that, Kinsley.  Any feelings I had for Sarah are long gone.”

She slowly shook her head.

“I don’t know, Lucas.  Once you see that baby and see Sarah, the mother of your child, holding that baby your feelings will probably change.”

“I am telling you that is not going to happen.  I only want to explore a relationship with you.”

She was silent for a minute and as each second passed my heart thumped louder.  I could already feel her pulling away.

“She’s going into her last trimester and she is probably scared, Lucas.  As it gets closer to her due date she is probably going to need you to help her with some things and to go to doctor appointments with her.  As much as I hate to say it, I don’t know if now is the right time for us.”

My eyes were pleading with her.

“Kinsley, please, don’t squash things with us before they have had a chance to really get started.  I have never felt this way about any girl before.  I can figure this out, just give me a chance.”

Her eyes were lowered to the ground and when she raised them a single tear rolled down her cheek.

“It’s just not the right timing for us, Lucas.  You need to be there for Sarah.”

She slowly got up and went to get her purse.

“Kinsley, wait.”

She turned to look at me and the sadness I saw on her face killed me because I knew I was the reason for that look.

“No, I better go.  This is all just way too much for me to handle right now.”  She lifted her eyes to mine.  “Did you know that our parents broke up?”

I was totally shocked.  I let her words sink in for a minute and then realized while it was not good news for our parents, it was great news for us.

“No, I had no idea.  Is your mom okay?”

“My mom is the one who broke things off.”

“Really?”  I couldn’t hide the surprise in my voice.  Women usually threw themselves at my dad and his money.  For someone to break things off with him had to be a huge blow to his ego.

She looked a little annoyed at my tone.  “Yes,
really
.  Your dad isn’t the be all end all, Lucas.”

“I know, I know, I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to imply that.  It’s just that no one has ever broken things off with him first.  It’s always been the other way around.”

“Well, there’s a first time for everything, I guess.”

“Do you know what happened?”

“Yes, my loser father came back into the picture and claims he wants to marry my mother this time around.  She apparently feels the same way because she has already practically moved in with him and she expects me to move in with them by next weekend.  There is no way I am doing that.  I barely know him.  This is all so screwed up; I want to just crawl under a rock and make all of this go away.”

I reached out and gently caressed her arm.

“I am so sorry about all of this, Kinsley.  I hope you don’t mean you want me to go away too.”

She looked at me with sad eyes and my heart plummeted to my toes.

“You’re part of the problem, too.  You have a pregnant ex-girlfriend who isn’t going away.  She’s going to be around forever, Lucas.  It’s just a little much for me to handle right now.”

She put her bag on her arm and headed toward the door.

“You’re leaving?  Kinsley, come on, we can talk about this.  I told you I don’t have feelings for her.  I don’t want anything to do with Sarah.”

She slowly reached out and caressed my cheek.  “That’s not an option anymore.  Good luck with everything.”

With that, she left and I stood there staring at the door like an idiot. 
What the fuck just happened?

Chapter Twenty-One - Kinsley

As soon as I stepped into Lucas’s elevator the tears began to stream down my face.  Sarah was pregnant.  Why would I get involved with a guy whose ex-girlfriend was currently carrying their baby?  I didn’t have a ton of feelings invested in him so I could just walk away, right?  I tried to tell myself that but every time I thought about not having Lucas around anymore I felt sadder by the minute.  I didn’t even want to think about what was going on with my mom and dad.  As I rode home in the cab along Lake Shore Drive, staring out the window at the waves crashing against the shore, I just wanted to curl up in a ball and disappear.

I walked into my apartment and literally fell into bed.  I didn’t want to start packing, I didn’t want to study, and I didn’t want to talk to anyone on the phone.  I just wanted to sleep.

The next morning I woke up with renewed energy and a new plan for my life.  I was going to move in with Sophie, focus on completing my final semester and immerse myself in my internship so that I would be guaranteed a job offer when it was over.  As long as I stayed busy, I would not have time to think about Lucas.  That was
my
plan but I would soon find out that was not necessarily the best plan for me.

Lucas called me that morning before I went to class but I just let it go to voicemail.  I wasn’t ready to talk to him yet and there really wasn’t anything he could say to me.  I was still in college and I didn’t want to deal with baby mama drama when I didn’t really have to.  The fact that Sarah showed up at the airport like she did was probably just the beginning of the kind of stunts she would pull.  I wanted nothing to do with a situation like that.  I had to keep telling myself that over and over because as much as I didn’t want to admit it, I was really sad about having to walk away from what I could have had with Lucas.

I literally threw myself into school, work and moving the next three months to keep my mind off of the pit I felt in my stomach.  I had never felt what I was feeling for Lucas before and I didn’t quite know what to do about it.  Sophie was the only person I could talk to about it and I was sure she was getting sick of my lamenting so I mostly kept my feelings to myself.  The one good thing that came of my mom and Arty breaking up is I never had to tell her about Lucas.

My mom and dad were getting married the week after my graduation and I was dreading it like crazy.  She was acting like a giddy school girl constantly calling me and asking my opinion on everything to do with the wedding.  They were inviting 100 people and she wanted me to be the maid of honor, which was the last thing I wanted to do, but I had to do it.  I couldn’t believe that they were actually still together but my mother seemed happier than I had ever seen her in my life.  My dad kept trying to have dinner with me but I had no interest in doing that yet.  It was going to take some time for me to want to spend time with him in person.  I was perfectly happy with the cordial sporadic email relationship we had.

I had not seen Lucas at all during that time and his calls, texts and emails eventually stopped.  Of course I was upset about it but I was so busy with everything else going on in my life I didn’t have time to dwell on my feelings.

The morning of graduation Sophie and I were getting ready and I could tell that she had something on her mind because she kept glancing over at me while I was doing my hair.  After her 20
th
glance I turned to her.

“What’s up, Soph?  You feeling okay?”

“I have to tell you something and I don’t want you to get upset.”

She piqued my curiosity so I gave her my full attention.

“Okay.”

“Lucas asked me to ask you if you would meet him for coffee sometime.”

“What?  Since when have you been talking to Lucas?”  I instantly felt annoyed.

“Calm down, I ran into Lucas at the grocery store yesterday.  I was trying to figure out the best time to tell you because I didn’t want to upset you but I had to let you know that he wants to see you.  I know you don’t want to have anything to do with him Kinsley, but I have to tell you he looked really sad when he asked about you.  I can tell that he misses you.”

I didn’t expect the tug at my heart when she told me he wanted to see me, but I had to push those feelings aside.  Lucas was going to have a very busy life in less than a month and there just wasn’t room for me.  I was pretty sure Sarah was always around and I had no interest in getting in the middle of anything.  Maybe Lucas and I would talk after the baby was born but I felt it was best to just leave things like they were.  There was no reason to see him…at least not yet.

“It’s just not a good idea, Sophie.  Lucas has nothing to say that would change my mind about us.  His whole life is about to change and I don’t want to be in the middle of that.”

She let out a deep breath and she gave me a look that I had not ever seen, so I knew she was getting pissed.

“Kinsley, lots of guys have kids with women they don’t end up with and it’s not a reason to cut someone off.  I have never seen you as happy as you were for that short time you were with Lucas in Mexico and I want to see that look on your face again.  Can’t you at least have a cup of coffee with him?  He’s really hurting.”

I thought about what she said and the tug at my heart was getting stronger as I thought about the fact that he was hurting still after all those months of not seeing me.  It was time for me to be honest with myself also.  As much as I tried to deny it, I missed Lucas like crazy.  Sophie had never looked at me like that so I really had to take a minute and seriously consider what she was saying.  Sometimes she knew me better than I knew myself and I knew she only wanted what was best for me.  What could a cup of coffee hurt?

“Okay, maybe you’re right.  I guess I could take 30 minutes to catch up with him.”

“I really think you should.  Just go with an open mind and see where things go.  You never know what could happen.  I’ll email him and tell him it’s okay to contact you.”

“Okay, okay.  We should get going or we’re going to be late.”

She looked at me with a huge smile on her face.

“I can’t believe we’re finally graduating!”

“I know, I am so excited to move on to the next chapter of my life!”