Unchanged (17 page)

He was here.

Ahaziel.

When at last she was allowed to take off her wedding dress and put on her usual plain one, Olivia left the house. "Cover for me," she beseeched her brother Lionel, who opened his mouth to say something but never got the chance before she ran. She did not know where she was going, just that she wanted to see Ahaziel. He alone was removed from her life in town. With him, she could almost believe her impending marriage was some horrible fantasy.

She allowed herself a daydream of what her life might be like if she ran away with him. They would move somewhere deep in the forest, so deep no one would ever think of building a town there. They would live in a rough cabin, the hard-packed dirt floor slick and smooth under their bare feet. He would bring home food and she would cook it. They would spend their nights wrapped in each other's arms.

Olivia's footsteps slowed, crunching softly on leaves. It took her a moment to regain her sense of direction among all the trees. A bird called softly from the east.

She shook her head. Sometimes her imagination did run away with her. She wondered why on earth she would dream of living in a cabin with a dirt floor. Such a life would never work, surely. She was better off with Kennard after all. She had to remind herself that all she knew of Ahaziel was that he was a wild man, perpetually caked in dirt, only passably handsome.

Perhaps somewhat more than handsome.

Perhaps strangely beautiful.

Still, that didn't mean she should run away with him.

Something knocked her to the ground, cutting off her next thought. It was a man, his body pressing hers into the damp earth. She couldn't breathe as she pushed uselessly at his shoulders and chest, which she realized with astonishment were bare. He was naked! She found her breath and started to scream just as the man's weight was lifted, mercifully, off her.

Olivia scrambled to her feet, quickly edging away from the naked man. Her widened, wary eyes flicked over his pale body. They took in his inky tumble of curls and glittery black eyes. He grinned at her, his teeth sharp. His face looked bluish, almost aqueous, and slightly blurry.

"Get out of here, Merko," a voice commanded. Olivia realized it belonged to Ahaziel. He had pulled the naked man off her.

"I only wanted to meet her," the man—Merko—said.

Olivia crouched uncertainly by a tree.

"Get out of here," Ahaziel repeated.

Merko did, whistling as he strolled away through the trees, confident in his nakedness. Soon he was out of sight, the sound of his whistling fading a few moments later.

Olivia looked at Ahaziel. "Who is he? What is going on?"

"Come with me," he said, holding out a hand.

"I do not know you. I do not know where you come from."

"The forest is my home. It is where I have always lived."

"You are not like anyone I have ever known."

"Nor are you."

She hesitated, staring at his outstretched hand. Meeting his eyes, she took it. He led her through the forest and soon she discerned they were heading in the direction of the beach. A particular beach, one Olivia had never seen because it was small and surrounded by rock on three sides. A narrow opening between the rocks seemed to be the only access. She and Ahaziel crossed the pebble-riddled sand to the other side.

"There are caves up here," he said. "Labyrinths of them. We must climb to see them."

He started to do so. Olivia lingered on the ground a moment, watching him. His shoulders were broad, his hips trim. She could see the length of his muscles through his ragged clothing. Oh, but he was beautiful.

Inside the first cave, she saw a blackened pit in the middle of the sandy floor. Ahaziel grabbed a couple of dry logs from the back of the cave and tossed them on the old ashes. He began to light a fire.

"Do you live in here?" Olivia asked.

"I come from the forest," he said, "but sometimes I like to watch the ocean."

She looked out the cave opening. The tumultuous sea stretched forever, reflecting the sky's grayness. The waves and wind stirred her troubles. She would have given anything not to marry Kennard. She wondered if she could compromise herself in such a way her family would have no choice but to send her away, perhaps to a big city. Maybe Ahaziel could help her with that. Her stomach fluttered and tears pricked her eyes. Could she use him so callously? Why did the thought of doing so bother her so much?

"Where do you go?" she asked. "Where do you go when you are not with me?"

Ahaziel didn't respond for so long she wasn't sure he had heard her. When he finally did speak, the sound of his voice was loud and unexpected.

"Merko is from the sea," Ahaziel said. She turned and saw he had succeeded in starting the fire. "I am from the forest. We are the similar beings. We have always shared the same purpose."

"What purpose?" Olivia asked, suddenly dreading the answer.

"To drown living creatures," he said, staring into the fire. "To inhale their souls. It is what keeps us alive."

Olivia was very still. "Ahaziel . . . what are you?"

He did not blink, mesmerized by the flames. "I am merely a forest dweller. I have always lived in the forest, just as Merko has always lived in the ocean. There have not always been people here, but there are animals aplenty. Any living thing will do to sustain us. Merko drowns his souls in the ocean and I push mine into the river."

"The river . . .?" Her mouth was dry.

"I saw you." Ahaziel looked at her now, his face grave yet earnest. "Through the trees, that night. Moonlight spilled all over you. I thought you looked so beautiful. I could not drown you. I wanted to meet you, talk to you. I knew, even then, I loved you."

She drank in his words, her heart filling with either joy or fear. It was hard to know the difference, somehow. No one had ever spoken to her in such a manner.

As she stared at him, unable to ask questions or voice protests, he leaned in toward her. His body circled the fire so he could be near her. Close enough for her to feel his breath on her skin. Close enough for his lips to meet hers. She let him kiss her. It was a gentle, lingering kiss. The tenderness in his eyes when he pulled away was overwhelming and confusing. She ducked her head against his chest and let his arms come around her. What was she feeling? What did she think about what he had done, what he had to do to stay alive? Was she curious, scared? How was it possible not to know?

"I love you," he said into her hair. "I will always love you."

Olivia wondered if she should tell Ahaziel she was to be married, if it would even matter. Would he still love her? Would he insist on taking her away? She'd always thought she wanted that, to leave her town in whatever way she could, but suddenly the prospect frightened her. To leave her town and everyone she knew for some untamed forest creature who’d killed who knew how many people . . . But he had not killed her. If only she knew what it would be like to be with Ahaziel forever, as she knew what lay ahead of her with Kennard. Then she could choose without a shred of indecision.

"You will never leave me, Ahaziel?" she whispered, not quite sure what she was asking.

"No," he said, his hands warm through the fabric of her dress. "Never."

She lifted her head and looked at him. "You may kiss me again."

He did. Olivia found herself swept up in the sensation of his lips against hers, his lips on her neck, her shoulders, her stomach. She wasn't sure how things had progressed so far, so fast. All she knew was she liked how he made her feel, liked what he was doing, liked the way he whispered her name so reverently. She couldn't imagine ever wanting him to stop. The pleasure was so strong it was almost terrible. The wonder of it nearly made her weep.

She dreamed of him that night, when she was tucked safely in her own bed, in her own room. She imagined him sneaking in the window and climbing in beside her. She hadn't been able to stop thinking about him since being with him in the cave. It was as if he'd left a part of himself behind. She could feel the desire—no, the
craving
—he had for her. It was disturbing and frightening, yet it was the most exhilarating feeling she'd ever known. Had she left a similar piece of herself with him?

The wedding was tomorrow. She couldn't help but think of it when she still hadn't told Ahaziel what her future held. She remembered how they had lain together in the sand by the fire, her head resting on his arm. He'd stroked her hair with light, idle touches.

"I want you, Livy," he'd said after a length of silence. "We belong to each other. We can be together."

She'd had nothing to say. She thought of the rough cabin in the woods again and felt her stomach churn with uncertainty.

"We will travel far away from here," Ahaziel decided, as if reading her mind. "I can go anywhere with trees. All you have to do to come with me is eat food from the forest, food I offer you. That will make you a part of my world."

"I want to be with you," Olivia had agreed. But her voice had sounded flat and hollow.

Ahaziel nodded. "Nothing can stand between us."

She'd arrived home after dark to frantic parents demanding to know where she'd been all day. She hadn't had a satisfactory answer for them and was sent to bed without dinner, which seemed silly since she was about to be someone's wife.

Now she lay in her room, replaying the day in her mind. Ahaziel did not scare her, not even after what he had told her about how he stayed alive. That was inconsequential, something she could mentally brush aside in favor of other thoughts. Thoughts such as where she and Ahaziel would live. Would they always have to stay in the trees? Would she be bound to them, as he apparently was, after eating forest food from his hand? Such a life sounded like a trap, not limitless as she had always imagined the world to be. Maybe he couldn't offer her everything she'd always wanted. Maybe marrying Kennard would be smarter. At least Kennard could work, save money, and then move them to a new place in a few years. Would that not be better?

But Kennard was not Ahaziel. Could never be Ahaziel.

Olivia was confused. Torn. She didn't know how to make the right decision. She thought she'd known what she wanted, but now it was clear she didn't know anything.

~

The dress fit perfectly, of course. Olivia had stepped obediently into it but the first moment no one was watching her, she slipped out the back door and, lifting her skirts, ran for the forest. She didn't know if Ahaziel would be there. She didn't know if he'd want to see her after what she planned to tell him.

"You do not think he really loves you, do you?"

Olivia whirled at the voice. She saw Merko striding toward her. He wore clothes this time, mercifully, and they looked so new and free of holes she was certain he must have stolen them off someone's clothesline.

"It does not matter if he loves me," she said.

"I am glad you do not care, because neither does he," Merko said with a smirk.

His words stung, but Olivia forced herself to stay expressionless. "Good."

He made as if to leave, but turned back at the last second. "You
do
know how he stays alive, do you not? How we both do?"

"Yes," she said haughtily. "But he doesn't kill people anymore. He did not kill
me
."

"Oh, he did not kill you, so now he does not kill anyone?" Merko laughed. "A nice idea, but how do you expect him to live?"

"Animals." Olivia's voice wavered now. She'd thought she could overlook Ahaziel's method of survival, but suddenly she realized how naive she'd been. He had
killed
people. He had pushed them into the river and drank their souls, however impossible it sounded. What mattered was he did so heartlessly, as a wolf would kill a rabbit. She felt as if she could see the lives he'd taken floating before her. Mothers, fathers, sons, daughters. Families ruined in the name of Ahaziel's survival. When he took a life he was really taking many. One person's life was connected to so many others.

"Animals," Merko echoed, laughing. "How sweet."

"It does not matter," Olivia said again. She was pleased to hear her voice sounded firm this time. "I only came to tell him goodbye."

With those words she turned and strode out of the forest as gracefully as she could, eager to get back before anyone missed her and wondered if she'd run out on her own wedding.

"I will tell him for you," Merko called after her.

Olivia didn't reply.

~

"You should not have told her those things," Ahaziel reprimanded. He had waited for Olivia's visit only to find out Merko had intercepted it. Listening as Merko recounted the lies with which he'd filled Olivia's ears, Ahaziel felt the trembling beginnings of fury. "I never wanted you to meet her," he said. "I feared you would make it a point to drown her. Instead I find you have done your best to turn her against me."

"I have saved you, Ahaziel, from destroying yourself," Merko insisted. "Love will never end well for our kind."

"You have betrayed me. I can no longer trust you or believe you have my best interests at heart. If indeed you possess a heart."