Uncharted Fate (10 page)

He didn't know why, out of the blue, he had experienced an unprecedented urge to ask Anna for a date after all this time. For whatever reason, though, he had. And now, for better or worse, he was here.

He'd rung the doorbell twice and no one had answered. Was she been so frightened of going somewhere with him that she'd slipped out somewhere with the children in order not to be home when he got there? He leaned over and peered into the window beside the door. There were lights on. The door opened as he straightened up.

Anna stood fidgeting as she watched Jeff on the doorstep. "Hi." He wore a gray suit and he looked quite overwhelming. He was taller than Mike, but thinner, and his face beneath his gray-sprinkled dark hair was even-featured, bordering on handsome.

"Sorry it took me a few minutes to answer the door. I—uh—”

"You were tempted not to answer it?"

"Uh . . ." Her eyes flickered for a moment before she looked back up at him.

"You don't have to pretend with me, Anna." He twirled his keys around his forefinger. "You can be honest about your feelings. I've been through an experience pretty similar to yours and I know how you feel." One side of his mouth quirked upwards. "I haven't gone out much to speak of either and I'm almost as nervous as you are."

"We should be a great pair tonight. Both of us skittish as colts and dancing around each other, afraid to make contact." She shifted, restless, to the balls of her feet and then realized they'd been talking through the doorway all this time. She motioned to him and opened the door. "Come on in for a second while I get my trench coat. It's chilly tonight.” She felt something brush the back of her leg and looked around to find her son. "This is my son, Brian. Brian, meet Mr. Thomas."

Brian stood behind her and offered a watery smile to Jeff, who squatted down to shake his hand.

"Where are we going?" Anna asked. "I need to give the number to Mallory on case of emergency."

"We'll be in a restaurant near the mall." He handed her the name.

Fetching another piece of paper from the desk, she looked up the number and wrote it down.

Anna noted, as she ran up the stairs to give the information to Mallory, the music was still blaring. Also, the door was locked. When she knocked, Mallory answered the door and gave her a blank, hazy look. "This is where we'll be," Anna told her as she handed over the paper. "Call if there's an emergency. Not being able to find a snack is not an emergency."

As she headed downstairs, Anna wondered about the strange, sweet smell in Mallory's room.
Maybe it’s one of her incense sticks.

In the living room, Jeff helped her on with her coat. “Everything all right?" He motioned up the stairs.

"I guess so. She isn't happy about my going out with you."

"I wouldn't expect her to be. She'll get used to it."

Chapter 9

Anna had been by the restaurant several times, parking at the mall, but she’d never been inside. Most of her mall dining consisted of a slice of pizza in the food court or indulging in a cone as she window-shopped.

This restaurant was lovely inside, and they were seated downstairs in front of a huge roaring fire which kept the early fall chill at bay.

They both ordered steaks, his rare and hers medium. Anna leaned back, sipped her wine, and looked with appreciation at the dim, elegant English Tavern ambiance. She'd missed going out to nice places like this. And she realized it wasn't as awkward being with Jeff as she'd feared it would be.

They sat, relaxed, chatting about everything and nothing until their salads came. The steak entrees were tender and delicious.

Over coffee, he leaned forward, his forearms on the tablecloth and his hands around his coffee cup. "So tell me about yourself."

She smiled and shook her head. "It's all pretty dull stuff. I doubt you'd want to hear it."

"I do. Or I wouldn't ask."

She took a deep breath. “I grew up an only child. Went to college, met Mile in my junior year and quit to get married. Had my kids, then we moved into our dream home. And then I became a widow,” she said baldly. “Pretty cut-and-dried.”

“But that’s not all there is to you, Anna. What's your favorite food, your favorite television show, what kinds of movies do you like, what kinds of books?"

"Ah, the hard stuff." She found she could grin. "Let's see—lasagna, Ellen, dramatic romantic epics requiring three tissues, and historical novels, although the ones about the Arthurian legend are my favorite."

He raised his eyebrow. "Now that's more like it. You like to read things about Camelot, eh?"

"Yup.
The Once and Future King
by T.H. White is the best. Rose Stewart's done some fine books on it, too."

"You must be a romantic."

"Yes, I admit it. Are you a romantic? An idealist?"

"After seventeen years on the police force? You gotta be kidding. If there's anywhere you learn about the underside of human nature, it's working in law enforcement. Some days I have to fight to maintain my own sanity, let alone my idealism."

"You don't seem like a cynical man. You seem to me to be compassionate and understanding."

"Thanks, I try to be. If I stopped being empathetic, I'd stop being a good cop. I'd quit the force if it happened. I don't have any illusions about people, though. I've learned to be realistic because I've been forced to."

"What do you do when you're not working?"

"Let's see. I like sports, especially soccer, and I coach my son's soccer team. I like to read mysteries and," he adopted a mock-covert attitude, “westerns. I can't help it. I'm addicted. I've even seen every one of Reagan's movies."

She laughed. "And what about your favorite food and all?"

"I suppose I owe you since you told me about your favorite. Okay, steak, Monday Night Football, though I'm not exactly a fan of Terry Bradshaw, and
Psycho
is my favorite movie.” He held out his hands, palms up. "You see? I'm a simple guy. I seldom go out. Most of my free time I spend with Cam or in my woodshop, where I make wooden toys."

At his words a pang shuddered through Anna, and her eyes closed in pain for a moment.

As she fidgeted in distress, Jeff said, "I don't do big toys, only small things like trains and cars and wooden puzzles. I've inundated every kid of every relative I know with my toys. Finally, I hung out a small sign to sell a few. At Christmas I give a bunch to Toys for Tots. It gives me some extra cash, which comes in handy for presents at Christmas. And I enjoy working with wood and I can never resist buying a beautiful piece of wood, whether I have a specific use for it or not. I just love the look and feel of a gorgeous specimen."

She could tell he’d finally noticed her discomfort. "Are you okay? You look pale."

"I'm fine," she lied. "Tell me about your son."

Jeff grinned with pride, and pulled a picture out of his wallet, handing it to her. "His name is Cameron, but we call him Cam. He likes to help me out in my woodshop. Pretty soon he'll be better than his old dad. He enjoys putting embellishments on the toys. Curlicues and detailing around knobs and stuff."

This time she couldn't hide the pain, and she dropped the picture on the tablecloth.

"What's the matter? And don't tell me nothing like you did last time."

"It's just—too much coincidence, I guess." Shakily, she folded her napkin and laid it on the table. "My husband loved making things with wood in his shop, too."

"Oh. I'm sorry. I guess a lot of stuff hits you all at once sometimes. Are you all right?" He reached over and put his hand on hers, sending a hot shock through her almost as disturbing as the pain she'd felt when he'd been talking about his hobby.

She pulled her hand away and hid it beneath the tablecloth, trying to ignore the still-present tingling. "I'm fine now. A momentary meltdown." She picked up the picture again. The boy looked to be almost sixteen, with his father's dark hair falling in curls over his forehead. "He's quite good-looking. Takes after his father." She gave him a teasing grin.

"Mmm, he's a good kid. The last few years have been rough on him, but he's come through it okay. He's smart, too. He's on the honor roll every quarter of high school. He's been talking about wanting to become a clinical psychologist lately." Jeff stopped and laughed. "Good grief. If I don't stop pretty soon, I'll be dragging you to my apartment to look at home movies."

She smiled back at him. "It's not a crime to be proud of your kids. I'm proud of mine." Her smile faded. "They've had trouble recently, of course."

"They've been through a pretty traumatic experience. It's bound to affect them. They'll pull through it soon. Take my word for it."

"I know," she said with a sigh. "But in the meantime, it's hard."

"Sure it is. It's something they have to do for themselves, though. You can't do it for them, no matter how much you want to. How's Mallory doing, by the way? Any better?"

"Not so you'd notice. Worse, if anything. She's been antagonistic about everything. This blow-up today about our going out, however, is the worst one yet."

"It stands to reason. She's afraid you're trying to find a replacement for her father, and undoubtedly long before she's ready to let you. Assuming she'd ever be ready, that is."

"She's also upset about the fact I'm going out with you, in particular, since you were the officer who picked her up for shoplifting. She figures I'm a traitor twice over."

"I hope she learned her lesson about that kind of thing." His brow furrowed and he looked worried. "She's too nice a kid to get mixed up in shoplifting and petty crime."

"How could you even tell she was a nice kid when she was at the station?" Anna frowned. "You've only seen her bad side."

"She was scared. I got her to talk to me a little before you arrived. She's pretty unhappy at the moment because of her father. Nevertheless, she's a decent girl. How's Brian holding up?"

"Better, I think. Here're
my
pictures." She opened her wallet to show him their school pictures. "I know you've met them but I wanted you to see they were once happy, normal youngsters. Brian retreated into a shell after the accident, but he's coming out a bit now. He wasn't doing too great in school for a while there, either, but I haven't seen any bad papers lately."

She signaled to the waitress for a refill on her coffee, then took a careful sip of the fresh, hot brew, wishing she had a job in a nice place like this. "Actually, I don't think I've seen any papers. I'll have to ask him about it."

They sat quietly and drank their second cup of coffee. She wished he would reach over and hold her hand again. He didn't. When Anna looked up after draining the last of her beverage, she found Jeff's eyes on hers. Her glance skittered sideways self-consciously.

"Ready to go?" He left the money for the bill and tucked a tip under his saucer. She looked at it in amazement. A tip like that would have made her week at the diner.

They walked over to the mall and wandered around a bit. She splurged on a pretty lavender sweater for Mallory she saw hanging on a sale rack near the entrance of one of the boutiques. Jeff bought a book on soccer stars for Cam. On their way out, he spotted a display of books for boys Brian's age and bought a couple for Brian, after she told him Brian hadn't yet read them. They stopped at the pet store and admired the puppies and kittens.

Then they noticed the stores were closing up around them, so they walked back to Jeff's small SUV and he drove her home. He pulled up the slight incline, cut the engine, and put it in park. When she realized he was going to come around to open her car door for her, she smiled and took her fingers off the inside handle. It'd been so long since she'd done anything but slide out with her arms full of bags, she felt a little uneasy. Damn, though, it was nice.

She'd forgotten to leave the light on and the house was dark. At her front door, he handed over her bags, giving her a gentle smile as she stood tense and jittery, peering up through the darkness at him, wondering what he was going to do.

"I enjoyed this evening very much," he said finally. "Thank you for coming with me."

She laughed. "I don't recall having a choice."

"Sure you did. You could have been out when I got here earlier. I thought for a minute there you’d ‘fled the scene,’ as we cops say."

"I wouldn't have done anything of the sort to you."

"Yes, I realize now. I did feel a few moments of panic until you opened the door."

"I'm sorry." She leaned back against the doorframe for support. "I enjoyed the evening, too. Thank you. Would you—ah, like to come in for a small glass of sherry?"

"Sounds nice," he said, his voice wistful. "But I don't think I should press my luck with your kids. They probably want you back. Alone." He stuffed his hands in his trouser pockets and took a step back. "I'd better go. I hope Brian likes his books."

"He will. They're his favorites. Thank you for buying them for him."

"I wanted to." He backed up another step. "Maybe I'll see you at Betty's. I'm on days this coming month."

"It'd be nice to see you.” She reached for the door handle behind her. "Good night."

Jeff hesitated, looking at her in the dark, before striding toward her. His fingers slid around her nape and pulled her in, dipping his head to meet her lips. He kissed her softly and tremors vibrated through her at his touch. Then it ended and he turned to walk toward his car, gunning the engine and backing down the driveway with a wave of his hand.

Anna watched him drive away until his car turned the corner and she could no longer see his taillights. He was a nice man, but she didn't know what to think. She'd been shocked at the attraction she’d sensed between them. Even during the tension she’d felt at the police station, his presence affected her, although she hadn't analyzed the cause at the time.

Tonight, when he'd been close and then had kissed her so lightly, she'd felt something a lot more powerful than expected. It had been a long time since she'd felt that sexual zing, not since her early days with Mike.

Her husband had only been gone such a short time and yet here she was, attracted to another man.
No, I can’t be. Mallory’s right, it’s too soon.
It was disloyal to Mike's memory.

She'd tell him she couldn't see him if he asked her again. The thought did not make her feel better at all, but it was the right thing to do.

Except she found she missed Jeff already.

On Sunday, a family with three small children came to look at the house, and they oohed and aahed over it the entire time they were there. Anna was certain they'd make an offer, and she dreaded both the possibility and the necessity.

As much of a strain on her finances the monster was, she hated to give up the house until the last possible moment. It'd been a dream of hers and Mike’s for so many years, and they'd had such a brief time together in it. They'd worked for the future for so long that they hadn't enjoyed their present enough.

Then, the fruit of their labors was snatched from them by an insane man and she'd only had memories of the past, those first few raw months alone. But Anna felt she was finally starting to live in the present.

It was all she could do anymore.