Unchosen (Chosen #2) (18 page)

TWENTY NINE

I opened the door to see Nick with red rimmed eyes. His hair and work clothes were haggard but he still looked so damn pretty. He immediately took me in his arms. He let out a sign of relief and I froze.

“Lizzie, it isn’t what you think,” he pleaded.

“No, Nick! It is happening all over again. Burn me once, shame on Teagan. Burn me twice, shame on me!” I scoffed and spit out. I saw actual saliva hit him in the face.

“Sweetheart, I am not Teagan. I don’t have any other women in my life. I would never ever put you through that type of pain. You are everything to me. I think about kissing and holding you all day long. God, I am obsessed with you and me. I think about your smile when you look at Niall, when you look at me. I can’t imagine my life without you now that you are in it. Please, baby, you have to believe me,” he whispered desperately.

I snuggled more into him. I did believe him but I still felt sick. “Nick, I need to sit down,” I uttered, trying not to show the sudden urge I had to throw up.

“Of course, babe. Let’s get you something to eat and we’ll talk. I don’t want you to leave. Please promise you won’t leave,” he begged. I held up my engagement ring to show him I was not leaving but there was a promise we had towards each other.

“I already said yes but I am so confused. I didn’t stalk around the office looking through your email. It was just open on the computer screen. But I need to know who she is, Nick. Why does she want you to call her on a burner phone? Are you involved with another woman because I honestly can’t deal with that
again.” I cried.

“No baby, look at me. Samantha is Sam. Conner’s Sam,” he said. I could see the truth in his eyes and in that moment, I wanted to believe him but this new revelation was really fucked up. Something was off about this, about him.

“Why is Sam emailing you?” I asked, perplexed. I sat down on the couch and Nick took my hand into both of his. I sighed shakily. “I can invest and manage money. I can calm colic. I can help my grieving mother but I cannot and will not be in a relationship full of secrets.”

“I don’t want secrets either, Lizzie. I just… I wanted to protect you. Or maybe, I felt the need to protect our relationship. We have been so up and down and now that we are engaged, I just wanted to keep us in a bubble. I never ever want you to distrust me. I would give anything for your trust but Sam and what happened; well this has been a really hard situation for me.” He raked his hands over his five o’clock shadow and looked at me, deciding what he needed to say. I nodded at him with pointed eyes to go on.

“I have been friends with Samantha since grade school. Mitch, Sam and I were tight. We never did anything without each other. Sam was always by our sides. She didn’t have other girls to play with so she was special to me like a sister. I would always stick up for her in school and I was there for her when she needed someone to lean on. Since I am the only child, her parents and my parents would get together a lot so we had someone to play with. I grew up with her in every way,” he recalled. He smiled to himself; I imagine he was thinking about being young and innocent.

“Did you two, you know, lose your virginities to one another?” I asked.

“No. It never was like that with us.” Then his face transformed into an unreadable expression.

“When Mitch died, she and I were the ones left over to pick each other up, except his death took more of a toll on me than her. Like I had told you before, I did what and who I wanted whenever I wanted. One night, Sam came to my house and demanded for me to let her in. She had been calling daily and I hated it. It was exhausting. At first, she yelled at me to get my shit together. We started to cry about him that night and then, all of a sudden, we were kissing. We had sex the whole night and it was both comforting and so fucking uncomfortable. I never wanted her in that way so something changed for us that night. The next day, I started looking for jobs. I didn’t ever want to see her again. It was awkward and I just couldn’t look at her without feeling like I had betrayed us both.”

“She followed you here to Boston?” I asked quietly. He nodded. He threw his hands to the back of his neck.

“It was awful. I tried to get her to go back to Texas. She wanted to stay here but I never brought women to my place. This is
my
apartment and I didn’t want women just coming and going like how it was in Texas.” He shuddered. “One night, she got in anyway. I told her she could stay in the guest room for one night. The next morning, Conner showed up and basically told me if I didn’t get things straight with you, then I would lose you. I was being too stubborn about the way we felt about each other to listen to him. I was still dating Anna and I didn’t feel like listening to him go on and on about you when I couldn’t have you the way I wanted you. I never noticed Sam and Conner took to each other instantly.” He smiled. “They were attached at the hip. She even left with him and never said another word to me about being together.”

“My brother liked her?” I assumed.

“Lizzie, he told me he was hoping to propose to her. They were in love,” he replied. “He didn’t want to tell you about her because he didn’t want you to know she was my friend. You and I were fucking up our friendship and it was weird enough with me knowing. He didn’t want you to get hurt. He was waiting for the right time to tell you.”

“What does she want from you now?” I asked.
Fuck, did she want him back now that Conner was gone? Was she going to ruin Nick and me?

“She wants forgiveness from you. Her parents had a private jet fly her back to Texas after she was released from the hospital. Neither you nor your parents ever mentioned or asked me about her. I assume your parents think she is too devastated to come forward. She is.” He let out a deep breath. “She is not doing well, Lizzie. She emails me about once a week but I have felt like I can’t do or say anything to her without talking to you. The time has never been right to tell you. I didn’t want to reopen the wound of that night. You have been remembering the good times with Conner and that night was terrible. I didn’t want you to go into a downward spiral.”

“Do you need to go to her, Nick? Does she need something from you personally?” I asked. He shook his head. “Wait, is that why you went to Texas a few months ago? Did you go see her?”

He slowly nodded his head. “I went to see her but only saw her parents when they came to my parents’ house. She wouldn’t stop calling or emailing me at work and it needed to stop. When I got there, I think she was too embarrassed to come see me so I just figured she would stop calling. She didn’t.”

I huffed out a growl and pinned him with the deadliest stare I could muster.

“There isn’t anything I can do or say to her,” he said resignedly. “The only way is for her to deal with that night is on her own. I did everything I could for her and I did try. But I don’t want to deal with it anymore. Does that make me sound like a shit head?”

“I honestly don’t know,” I uttered. “I think that should be up to you. If she needs you to call her then I imagine you probably should. Nick, was she drinking the night Conner died?”

He frowned.  “The cops tested her at the hospital. She didn’t have a drop in her.”

“Then tell me what the bloody hell happened that night? Why did she go over the median? Why is she so worried about my family finding out about that night?” I begged.

Nick sighed. “I have asked her so many times and she won’t talk about it, Lizzie. She goes into hysterics and all she
can think about is you and your family. She never even went to his funeral. Her family just shipped her back like a piece of cargo and no one will get her the help she needs. I think she thinks I can help, but I can’t. I can only take care of you right now.
Our
family is working through the grief and I don’t think it would be wise to bring her into our life right now.”

I slowly lay my head down on his chest. The warm smell of wool and leather drew me in and I forced Sam and Conner out of my head. Nick was here and he was staying here for me. He didn’t have to tell me everything. His love was in his actions.

I never asked Nick again about Sam after that night. I didn’t want to know. I was so angry and no matter what she had to say, it would never bring Conner back. He was gone forever and I needed to work on my future with my family. I needed to be a good mother and wife to the people who were still living life alongside me.

I walked around in a pregnancy fog the next few days. Nick pampered me with morning flowers and nightly foot massages. He took a day off just to take Niall to the Children’s Museum and then surprised me at work to take all of us out for a long lunch. Every time he came to bed, I was already dead asleep. He must have thought I was depressed about Conner again but I was just so tired and sick to even speak more than two words to him.

By Friday, I was feeling better than I had all week. It was time to tell Nick I was pregnant. I couldn’t hide the morning sickness or the exhaustion that was bound to totally take over my life in the next couple of months.  I had asked Nick for a relaxing weekend of guitar playing, takeout food and Scrabble. He was quick to comply. I just needed to get to five o’clock so I could take a nap. In the meantime, the financial meeting with Nick and Mac was my number one priority and I prayed it went perfectly.

Mac and I walked to Your Soupy Salad and stood in the line, waiting for Nick to show. When I felt Nick’s warm arms come around my waist, I turned into his arms to kiss him softly.

“Hey, beautiful,” He smiled into my neck. “I’ve missed you all day long.” I giggled and smacked him on this arm.

“Not in front of my boss, Nick” I chided him. He shrugged and answered me with the most lascivious smile. He would probably make out with me here in this line if I let him.
Perv and to think he is going to be the father of my child.
I giggled for a moment before I realized just how happy I was in that moment. The moment I was about to tell Nick he was going to be a father.

I professionally introduced Mac to Nick and they shook hands. Nick kept throwing me seductive looks as he looked me up and down.  I groaned and started in front of them towards the counter. A woman to my right cleared her throat and I looked over to her with a suspicious expression.

“When are you expecting?” she asked with a bright grin. I laughed inwardly when I heard Nick’s string of curse words fly out of his mouth from behind me. He muttered other shit under his breath and tried to reach for me, probably to ward off any retaliation I might shell out. I slightly shook my head at him. The woman heard him, looked at him, then at me, then at him and then looked back to me in shock.

“Oh God, I am so sorry!” She looked away and I saw the small smirk on my friend’s face. Nick had never met actually met my occasional lunch buddy, Laura, so it was funny to also see her reaction to him. He was my beautiful man, after all. Her eyes widened and she mouthed, “Holy Shit Balls.” I nodded inconspicuously and mouthed back, “I know.”

“I am due in seven months,” I perked up and said proudly. “Thanks, Laura. I look pretty frigging good, huh?” I swiveled side to side to show off my body, outfitted in a white button up shirt tucked into a red pin striped skirt. Black was no longer my color, despite any trends.

I slowly turned around and saw Nick’s shocked look. I nodded to his questioning look. He put his arms around me and started to kiss my face all over. Laura started to squeal and clap, not caring that everyone turned to stare at her.  She never would have been caught dead in a lowly bistro like Your Soupy Salad. When I told her my plan, she jumped on it because that girl
never
passed on a punk. It
was
a perfect way to tell Nick. My begging her had paid off. It was simply…epic.

“See, I can surprise you, too,” I whispered into Nick’s ear. He laughed and I felt him tremble as his hands went to my belly. “Is this for real, Lizzie?” he asked.

“Yes, Nick. I am going to have a baby. Our baby,” I replied and kissed him on the cheek. My smile hurt my cheeks. I was on the verge of tears and Nick noticed, serenely rubbing my back.

“I think you should go sit with Mac and talk about opening some college funds for our two kids. I am going to catch up
with Laura.” I said, standing up straight and composing myself.

He grinned broadly at Laura and winked. I am pretty sure she melted at his award winning smile because I heard a slight moan from her direction. When he turned to me, he visibly protested against us not sitting with him. His pouty lip made me want to suck on it. I gazed at him while he ordered and walked down the line to pick it up. As I got a good view of his backside, I smirked at Laura and pointed at him. “All mine,” I said, shaking my head as the reality of our new relationship sunk in more.

*******

I remember that cold day when I sat on the bench waiting for Conner to pick me up for my ultrasound appointment. Changes were happening all around me and I had a moment of despair. Watching Nick talk about our family and our future, I truly know that changes in life remind me I am on a path to a great future towards my purpose on this earth. My life has many avenues I must walk along. But I am no longer walking those roads alone. With Nick by my side on those avenues, we can conquer anything. Niall, Nick and this unborn baby give me purpose to move forward with grace and pride. The music of our love will play on forever.