Uncle John's Bathroom Reader Extraordinary Book of Facts: And Bizarre Information (45 page)

BACKGROUND:
The United States annexed this reef in 1922. There’s no plant life on the reef (which is frequently under water) but it does support abundant and diverse marine life. In 2001 the waters surrounding the reef were designated a National Wildlife Refuge.

MIDWAY ISLANDS

LOCATION:
North Pacific Ocean, north of Hawaii

SIZE:
Less than two and a half square miles

POPULATION:
150 U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service personnel

BACKGROUND:
Part of the Hawaiian island chain, Midway was first discovered by a Hawaiian sea captain in 1859. At the urging of the North Pacific Mail and Steamship Company, which was looking for a coal depot for its Asian mail run, the U.S. Navy claimed the atoll for the United States in 1867. Midway is best known as the site of a U.S. naval victory over the Japanese fleet in 1942, one of the turning points of World War II. The naval station closed in 1993. Today the island is a wildlife refuge open to ecotourists.

GUANO ISLANDS

What is guano? Bird droppings. Fish-eating birds have been dropping their poop in the same spots for thousands of years. The result: huge deposits of guano, rich in nitrogen and phosphorous and highly valued as an agricultural fertilizer.

The Guano Act was enacted by the U.S. government in 1856. It authorized Americans to take “peaceable possession” of any uninhabited, unclaimed islands for the purpose of mining the guano. Nearly 100 islands were claimed for the United States under the act, mostly in the South Pacific. The United States still owns a half dozen—the others were abandoned or given up to other countries that claimed them. They’re not really anybody’s idea of paradise, so don’t expect to see any postcards from these tiny islands. But some of these poop-covered rocks have interesting histories.

NAVASSA ISLAND

LOCATION:
Caribbean Sea, between Haiti and Jamaica

SIZE:
Less than two and a half square miles

POPULATION:
No permanent residents

BACKGROUND:
The Baltimore-based Navassa Phosphate Company began mining guano in 1865, using convicts at first, then former slaves. In deplorable living conditions, the ex-slaves were forced to mine one and a half tons of guano per day for a daily wage of 50¢. In 1889 they revolted, killing 15 white overseers. Forty workers were taken to Baltimore for trial. Acknowledging the basis for the uprising, the court sentenced only one worker to death—the rest were given life imprisonment. The Navassa Phosphate Company continued to mine guano until 1898.

In 1998 a California entrepreneur named Bill Warren filed a claim under the Guano Act, obtained a deed from heirs of the Navassa
Phosphate Company, and claimed ownership of the island. Predictably, the U.S. government denied his claim.

There is also a dispute between the United States and Haiti, which maintains that the island lies within its territorial boundary.

HOWLAND ISLAND

LOCATION:
North Pacific Ocean, between Hawaii and Australia

SIZE:
A little more than one-half square mile

POPULATION:
Uninhabited

BACKGROUND:
Claimed by the American Guano Company in 1858. Its other claim to fame: In 1937 an airstrip was built on the island as a stopover for aviation pioneer Amelia Earhart on her round-the-world flight. Earhart and her navigator took off from Lae, New Guinea, but never reached Howland. (The unexplained disappearance still intrigues conspiracy buffs.) Today Howland Island is a National Wildlife Refuge.

BAKER ISLAND

LOCATION:
North Pacific Ocean, between Hawaii and Australia

SIZE:
One-half square mile

POPULATION:
Uninhabited

BACKGROUND:
Named by an American whaler, Michael Baker, who found the island in 1832. Presently it is a National Wildlife Refuge run by the U.S. Department of the Interior.

JOHNSTON ATOLL

LOCATION:
North Pacific Ocean, 800 miles southwest of Hawaii

SIZE:
One square mile of dry land; 50 square miles of shallow water

POPULATION:
1,000 military and support personnel

BACKGROUND:
The four tiny islands were discovered in 1796 by an American sea captain.

During World War II, the military used Johnston Island, the largest of the four outcroppings, as a refueling point for aircraft and submarines. A few days after the attack on Pearl Harbor, Japanese submarines fired on military facilities there but caused no casualties.

The U.S. Air Force took over in 1948 and used the site for high-altitude nuclear tests in the 1950s and 1960s. In 1964 a series of open-air biological weapons tests were conducted near the atoll using several barges loaded with rhesus monkeys. Chemical weapons have
been stored on Johnston Island since 1971, but the U.S. Army began destroying them in 1981. Munitions destruction is reportedly complete, and as of July 2006, the atoll is listed as property for auction by the U.S. General Services Administration.

JARVIS ISLAND

LOCATION:
South Pacific, between Hawaii and the Cook Islands

SIZE:
Less than two square miles

POPULATION:
Uninhabited

BACKGROUND:
Discovered by the British in 1821; claimed by the American Guano Company in 1858; abandoned in 1879; annexed by Britain in 1889; abandoned soon after. Reclaimed by the United States in 1935. The island is currently a National Wildlife Refuge; a small group of buildings are occasionally occupied by scientists and weather researchers.

PALMYRA ATOLL

LOCATION:
North Pacific Ocean, 1,000 miles south of Hawaii

SIZE:
Four and a half square miles

POPULATION:
Uninhabited

BACKGROUND:
This group of 54 islets is known for its lush natural beauty and biological diversity.

The first to land on the atoll were sailors from the American ship
Palmyra
, which was blown ashore during a storm in 1852. Though the American Guano Company claimed the atoll, guano was never mined there. In 1862 King Kamehameha IV of Hawaii took possession of the atoll, which is actually a part of the Hawaiian archipelago. The United States included it when it annexed Hawaii in 1898, but when Hawaii became a state in 1959, Palmyra was excluded.

The 1974 murder of a yachting couple on Palmyra became the subject of a 1991 novel by Vincent Bugliosi (and a subsequent TV movie) entitled
And the Sea Will Tell
. Today the atoll is privately owned by the Nature Conservancy, which is managing it as a nature preserve.

To impress upon you the importance of daily vitamin ingestion, we’ll now cheerfully terrify you with examples of all the diseases and ailments you can get if you don’t. Yes, that’s right, nature imposes penalties for not treating your body right. You probably knew that. Now you’re going to get it spelled out for you. Let’s take the vitamins in alphabetical order, shall we?

V
ITAMIN A

What it does for you
: Keeps your skin and your eyes healthy; helps you heal your body.

What happens if I don’t have it?
Your night vision goes out the window, since vitamin A is a component of “visual purple,” a protein that boosts your eyes’ sensitivity in dim light. Your skin can become scaly and dry. The linings of your mucous membranes can lose their cilia, which will increase your susceptibility to bacterial infections. In severe cases of vitamin A deficiency, you get xerophthalmia, a totally disgusting disease in which your eyes become swollen, your tear ducts shut off, and your eyelids get all full of pus. Unsurprisingly, your corneas are more susceptible to infection and ulceration when your eyes are like this, and it’s fairly likely you’ll go blind.

I’m convinced.
Vitamin A is in eggs, milk, liver, and green and yellow vegetables. But, be careful, too much vitamin A is not good either. Stick to the recommended daily allowance.

VITAMIN B1 (THIAMINE)

What it does for you:
It helps your body break down carbohydrates and keeps your nervous system humming along nicely.

What happens if I don’t have it?
Then you get beriberi, which despite its mildly amusing name is really a righteously nasty little disease; the name of the disease is taken from a Sinhalese word meaning “extreme weakness.” To start off, you lose your appetite and get all slackerlike; you experience digestive problems and numbness in your
extremities. That numbness is just your body’s way of saying, “Hey, moron, the long nerves in your arms and legs are beginning to atrophy!” From there, you have your choice: “dry” beriberi, in which those long nerves atrophy even more and you experience loss of muscle mass and motor control, or “wet” beriberi, in which you experience edema (i.e., fluid saturating your body), poor circulation, and cardiac failure. They both sound so good. It’s really hard to choose. End results of severe beriberi: paralysis or death. Or both.

I’m convinced.
Milk, liver, peanuts, and pork are all good sources of B1.

VITAMIN B2

What it does for you:
A factor in your body’s oxidization of carbohydrates and amino acids, and a key ingredient in some critical enzymes.

What happens if I don’t have it?
Your friends start to think you’ve become a vampire, because your eyes suddenly develop an increased sensitivity to light. They also wish you would, like, take a bath, because your skin is becoming all greasy and scaly. Your mouth is also in bad shape. Your lips redden and develop cracks at the corners (this is called cheliosis), and your tongue is inflamed and sore (glossitis). Basically a B2 deficiency makes you look all squinty and puffy, and where’s the fun in that?

I’m convinced.
Get your B2 from green vegetables, liver and other organ meats, and milk.

VITAMIN B3 (NIACIN)

What it does for you:
Helps you metabolize carbohydrates and also oxidizes sugars.

What happens if I don’t have it?
You’ll be introduced to pellagra, a perfectly charming disease that hits you with skin lesions that first look like sunburns (thanks to your skin’s increased sensitivity to light) but later become crusty and scaly. Then constipation kicks in, alternating with diarrhea—what a lovely combination—and your mouth and tongue become inflamed and sore. Having fun yet? Just you wait, because later stages of pellagra bring dementia in a variety of fun flavors, like general nervousness, confusion, depression, apathy, and the ever-popular delirium. Also, since pellagra is mostly seen these days in drug addicts and severe alcoholics, guess what your friends will be thinking you’ve been doing in your spare time.

I’m convinced.
Open up for peanuts, lean meats, fish, and bran.

VITAMIN B6

What it does for you:
Helps in the formation and breakdown of amino acids, the breakdown of proteins and fats, and in the synthesis of important neurotransmitters.

What happens if I don’t have it?
Early on, you’ll be sore, irritable, and weak. Later on, you’ll experience anemia and possibly seizures. B6 deficiencies are not uncommon among chronic alcoholics—and, interestingly enough, some oral contraceptives can cause B6 deficiencies, as well.

I’m convinced.
Chow down on whole-grain cereals, fish, legumes, and liver.

VITAMIN B12

What it does for you:
It helps you make red blood cells and is important in digestion and the absorption of nutrients.

What happens if I don’t have it?
The first thing you might notice is that something’s up with your tongue. A B12 deficiency keeps those little bumps on your tongue from forming, which means your tongue will be unusually smooth. Really kind of creepy if you think about it. More seriously, you’ll experience pernicious anemia, defective function of your intestines, and you might even experience spinal cord degeneration, which is, as you might imagine, a very bad thing. Keep this up, and a vitamin B12 deficiency will kill you right dead. Vegetarians take note. Vitamin B12 is not available in vegetables. No, not a single one. No, it’s not a conspiracy to get you to eat bacon. It’s really a true fact.

I’m convinced.
Eggs, milk, liver. Vegans, take that multivitamin and try not to think too hard about where that B12 might have come from. Hey, it could come from fungus or algae.

VITAMIN C

What it does for you:
Keeps your connective tissue, cartilage, and bones healthy; keeps your metabolism chugging along.

What happens if I don’t have it?
Arrr, me matey! Ye’ll get scurvy, me boy! Arrr! Yes, scurvy, the scourge of sailors, who didn’t get enough fruit in their long sea voyages. (Fact: The British term
limey
comes from a lime juice ration provided to sailors to prevent scurvy.) Scurvy is genuinely unpleasant, with sore and bleeding gums, wobbly teeth (they’ll spring right out of yer scurvy skull, matey!), stiff joints
and extremities, internal bleeding, and let’s not forget anemia, shall we? Ah, the life of a sea dog.