Uncle John's Bathroom Reader Plunges into Pennsylvania (2 page)

The Bathroom Readers' Institute thanks the following people whose hard work, advice, and assistance made this book possible.

Gordon Javna

JoAnn Padgett

Melinda Allman

Amy Miller

Jeff Altemus

Brian Boone

Thom Little

Michael Brunsfeld

Julia Papps

Dan Mansfield

Susan Steiner

Lea Markson

Vickey Kalambakal

John Scalzi

Debbie K. Hardin

Gabriela Toth

Myles Callum

Jenness I. Crawford

Ryan Murphy

Scott Tharler

Julie, Elise, and

Transcontinental

J. Carroll

Debbie Pawlak

Kathryn Grogman

Kathryn Senior

Megan Kern

Jay Newman

John Dollison

Stuart Smoller

Toney Lee

Angela Kern

Bonnie Vandewater

Lisa Meyers

Amy Ly

Monica Maestas

Kait Fairchild

Sydney Stanley

Cynthia Francisco

Ginger Winters

Jennifer Frederick

Tom Mustard

Sophie, Bea, and Porter

the Wonder Dog

W
elcome to Pennsylvania
—the second state in the Union, the birthplace of commercial radio, and the leading U.S. producer of mushrooms. With credentials like these, it's no wonder we chose the Keystone State as the subject of our latest Bathroom Reader. We recruited a group of Pennsylvania aficionados to put together this collection of the most interesting stories the state has to offer. Read all about . . .

History:
When we thought of Pennsylvania, the first thing that came to mind was history—few states have a closer link to the American Revolution. Philadelphia, of course, is home to the Liberty Bell, Independence Hall, and a whole lot more, but the rest of the state played an important role too: The winter that George Washington's army spent at Valley Forge was one of the colonists' greatest challenges, and the bitter dispute between Pennsylvania and Connecticut for the Wyoming Valley helped to define the states' current borders.

Sports:
Whether you prefer hockey, baseball, or football, you'll find your team in these pages.

Business:
Pennsylvania has been home to major businesses for more than a century. Whether they are building bridges, making ketchup, drilling for oil, or developing more efficient ways to make steel, Pennsylvanians are masters of innovation.

Hometowns:
If you want to ride one of America's first roller coasters, travel the country's first major toll road, or see where
marshmallow Peeps are made, you can do it in Pennsylvania.

We also asked around and found answers to some of the public's most burning Pennsylvania-related questions:

From William Penn's Holy Experiment to heroes of the American Revolution to abolition and beyond, Pennsylvania's history is sweeter than all the chocolate at Hershey Park. So head over to South Philly for a cheesesteak, kick back with a bottle of Rolling Rock, and pull on that Penn State sweatshirt. It's going to be an awesome ride.

As always, go with the flow . . .

—Uncle John and the BRI staff

From preserved livers to ceramic elephants, Pennsylvania's got one of the most bizarre collections of museums we've ever seen
.

If you've ever wondered where you could be surrounded by more than 6,000 elephants, this is the place. The owner, who goes only by “Mister Ed,” has been collecting elephant-related things since 1967, when he got an elephant figurine as a wedding present. By 1975, his pachyderm menagerie had gotten so big that it was taking up too much space in his house, so he decided to put them in a museum. Highlights: an elephant potty chair, a ceramic head with elephants coming out of it, and a nine-foot-tall talking elephant named Miss Ellie.

Strasburg native George Groff opened the Choo Choo Barn in 1961 as a way to raise money for his sons' college educations. He'd been collecting model trains since 1945 and thought there might be some money in displaying them. So he rented an old building on Route 741, set up his trains, and hoped people would come. They did: locals and tourists to Strasburg (in the heart of Lancaster County) visited in droves. Originally just 600 square feet, the museum has since expanded to its current 1,700 square feet. The animated displays are its most impressive asset. Set up to resemble Lancaster County, there's an Amish barn raising, a Ferris wheel, a ski lodge with ice-skaters, and a three-minute-long fire scene in which a group of (miniature) firemen put out a real (miniature) house fire.

When it comes to weird museums, this one wins by . . . a bone. In 1858, local physician and professor Thomas Dent Mütter left $30,000 and a 1,700-piece collection of bones, plaster casts, and other medical-related items to the College of Physicians of Philadelphia to start a museum. The original museum opened in 1863 at the corner of Locust and 13th streets, but in 1908, when the displays outgrew their space, the college moved them to their current location on South 22nd Street. Today's exhibits showcase more than 20,000 objects, including a collection of brains, an Iron Lung, the “soap woman” (the body of a woman who died in the 19th century and was buried in soil containing chemicals that turned her remains into lye soap), and a plaster cast of history's most famous Siamese twins, Chang and Eng Bunker. But our vote for the weirdest? It's a tie: a cancerous growth removed from U.S. president Grover Cleveland's upper jaw, and the thorax of assassin John Wilkes Booth.

In Drexel Hill's Arlington Cemetery—a century-old resting place for war veterans, local celebrities, and even a
Titanic
survivor—is a structure built to look like George Washington's Mount Vernon home. Inside is the Museum of Mourning Art is a collection of funerary items from history—everything from a 17th-century book with instructions of how to get to heaven, to an 18th-century cemetery gun that was rigged to fire when grave robbers tripped it. (It shot anyone who set it off, though, not just grave robbers, so the gun was quickly outlawed in England and the American colonies.)

Off a small street that doesn't even show up on most maps is the Stoogeum, a museum dedicated to the Three Stooges. Gary Lassin opened the place in 2004 and likes to keep the business low-key. He doesn't have a staff or regular hours—anyone who wants to visit has to e-mail him for directions and to set up an appointment. But he does have one of the most impressive collections of Stooges memorabilia around today: nearly 100,000 artifacts. The three-story Stoogeum also houses a research library, a film storage vault, and a theater, and serves as the official headquarters of the Three Stooges Fan Club.

If you like creepy-crawlies, the Insectarium is for you. The museum opened in 1992 and today houses hundreds of thousands of insects (many live), including Madagascar hissing cockroaches, human face stinkbugs, velvet ants, and a foot-long walking stick. There's even a man-made spiderweb for kids to play on and a simulated kitchen infested with thousands of swarming cockroaches.

 

Here's a quick look at Pennsylvania
.

Population (2008):
12,440,621

Capital:
Harrisburg

State motto:
“Virtue, liberty, and independence”

Nickname:
The Keystone State

Land area:
44,816.61 square miles

Length:
283 miles

Width:
160 miles

Highest point:
Mt. Davis—3,213 feet

Lowest point:
Delaware River—sea level

Record low temperature:
–42°F (1904)

Record high temperature:
111°F (1936)

Ratified the U.S. Constitution:
December 12, 1787 (second after Delaware)

Number of U.S. representatives:
19

Number of counties:
67

Number of national forests:
1 (Allegheny National Forest)

Percentage of land covered by forest:
Almost 60 percent (17 million acres)

Borders:
New York, New Jersey, West Virginia, Maryland, Delaware, and Ohio

It doesn't matter how you order it—just don't call it a “steak and cheese.”

The greasy, drippy sandwich that calls Philly home is more than just steak and cheese on a bun. To make a proper cheese steak, you'll need to do the following: sauté thinly sliced beef (preferably ribeye) with melted cheese, and put the mixture on a crusty hoagie roll. You can put the cheese slices on top of the beef right before flipping it into the bun, or you can grill them together—the idea is to melt the cheese completely into the steak. Cheese choices include American, provolone, or Cheez Whiz, but Cheez Whiz is the favorite, by far. The most common additional ingredients: onions, green peppers, and mushrooms.

You can get grilled steak and cheese on a roll almost anywhere in the world, but Philly natives claim that you can't get a
real
cheesesteak outside of the city. One main reason is Amoroso's Baking Company, where most cheesesteak vendors get their rolls. Amoroso's rolls are distinctively flaky because its bakers use Philadelphia's alkaline drinking water, nicknamed “Schuylkill Punch.”

Who made the first Philly cheesesteak? It depends on who you ask. In 1930, Pasquale “Pat” Olivieri was a hot dog vendor in South Philadelphia. One day, he put some beef on his grill next to the frankfurters, and a passing cabbie, lured by the aroma, asked for a steak sandwich. Soon, cabbies from around the city were stopping by Pat's cart for the sandwiches. Eventually, they
got so popular that Pat opened a restaurant—Pat's King of Steaks—on Passyunk Avenue. It's still around, grilling 24 hours a day.

Story number two comes from Joe Vento, founder of Geno's Steaks, which opened across the street from Pat's in 1966. Pat may have been the first to put steak on a bun, but Vento claims that he was the first to put cheese in the sandwich, thereby inventing the cheesesteak.

Either way, the two restaurants have been competing for the title of best cheesesteak ever since. Both Joe Vento and Frank Olivieri (Pat's current owner and the founder's nephew) claim that theirs is the superior sandwich . . . even though neither has actually tried his competition. The rivalry is good-natured, though: Olivieri says that if Geno's ever went out of business, he'd “feel a void” and would have to buy his rival's store and reopen it so he could fight with himself.