Uncle John’s Facts to Annoy Your Teacher Bathroom Reader for Kids Only! (31 page)

•
Take the bowl out of the microwave, and stir the chocolate until it’s smooth.

•
Drizzle chocolate over each “bug.”

•
Now it’s time to decorate: use Red Hots for eyes and sprinkles to give the bodies some color.

•
Let the “bugs” cool for about half an hour, and then they’re ready for school.

*      *      *

Every little bit helps:
During its lifetime, a worker bee will make about one teaspoon of honey.

Rio de Janeiro translates to “River of January” in honor of the month the area was first seen by Portuguese explorers in 1502.

Here are three more words that’ll make you sound smart…but saying them might get you into trouble.

BUTTRESS
.
This word describes a structure (usually made from brick or stone) that’s built against an outside wall to strengthen it. It’s also a verb meaning “to support someone,” which means you can “buttress your buddy’s argument.” It comes from the Anglo-French word
boteraz
, or “thrusting arch.”

PENAL COLONY
.
A place where prisoners are sent away from society, this comes from the Old French word
péna
, which meant “punishment” and also gave us the word “penalty.”

CRAPPER
.
If you get in trouble for saying this word, consider explaining that you were speaking of Thomas Crapper, the 19th-century English plumber (and one of Uncle John’s heroes) who perfected the modern flush toilet. All of his commodes had “T. Crapper” printed on them, and World War I soldiers popularized his last name as a slang word.

Adults make the rules, but they’re not always fair…or reasonable, or even legal. Here are some kids who refused to let anyone trample on their rights.

B
UT IT ROTS YOUR TEETH!

In 2008, Michael Sheridan, vice president of his eighth-grade class in Connecticut, got caught buying a bag of Skittles from a classmate…and both of them were suspended for it. Their school had a “no candy sales” policy that was created to help students eat more nutritious food. The policy banned candy and bake sales as fund-raisers, and made sure that only healthy snacks were sold in the school’s vending machines. It never occurred to Michael that the rule would also apply to one kid selling a bag of candy to another.

Not only was Michael suspended for three days, he was forced to give up his position as class VP and he was not allowed to attend the school’s honor society dinner even though he was a honor student. Michael’s mom thought that seemed too harsh for a kid who had never even gotten detention before, so she took his story to the local paper. Soon, Michael discovered that a lot of people felt the same way. Eventually, the school gave in. First, the suspension was reduced from three days to one. Later, Michael was reinstated as class vice president, and his school record was cleared.

Don’t blow your top: Italy’s Mount Vesuvius last erupted in 1944.

PINK HAIR TODAY, SUSPENDED TOMORROW

The color pink symbolizes cancer prevention; at least that’s how Amelia Robbins of Mountain Grove, Missouri, saw it. In 2008, the seventh-grader dyed her hair pink as a tribute to her dad, who died of cancer when she was six. Unfortunately, Amelia’s school didn’t approve: administrators claimed her pink hair distracted other students, and they suspended her.

After the school made its decision, Amelia and her mother and stepfather contacted the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU), a group that helps people fight rules and laws that violate their constitutional rights. The ACLU wrote a letter to the school district on Amelia’s behalf. It compared her situation to one from the 1960s in which students in Iowa were suspended for wearing black armbands to protest the Vietnam War. In that case, the U.S. Supreme Court determined that the suspension was unfair because it infringed on the students’ constitutional right to free speech.

Dark turkey meat has more calories than white meat.

The court ruled that the armbands were a silent, unobtrusive, but significant way to protest a specific cause. The ACLU claimed the same thing about Amelia’s pink hair. They requested that the school let her back in—pink hair and all—clear her record, and let her make up the work she missed without a penalty. Eventually, that’s just what the school administrators did.

THE SHOW MUST (NOT) GO ON

One Boulder, Montana, mother protested when her son’s high school decided to perform
Grease
as its 2007 end-of-year musical. She objected to the smoking and foul language in the play, and she asked why the show’s characters weren’t held to the same standards the students had to meet in real life.

The mother’s objection caused a big stir (especially after she admitted she’d never seen the play), but the most important question was whether she had the right to prevent audiences from seeing it just because she objected. In the end, the students performed the play, although the drama teacher did cut out some four-letter words and eliminate most of the smoking (the students were using fake cigarettes anyway). But the student body president, who played tough girl Rizzo, summed it up best when she said, “The behaviors in the play don’t affect the students. We’re not actually doing this. That’s why it’s called
acting
.”

Q: Who were Baba, Getlo, Muffin, and Sherlock?
A: Four dogs owned by Elvis Presley.

So you think crime pays? Think again.

T
ANKS FOR NOTHING

Oops:
In November 2008, Fausto Pinos—a landlord in Spring Valley, New York—took the toilet, bathtub, sink, and countertop out of the bathroom of one of his apartments. Why? He was trying to evict a woman who hadn’t paid her rent, and figured not having a bathroom would convince her to move. The problem: Renting an apartment without a bathroom is illegal.

Gotcha!
The New York Board of Health fined him $10,000.

HE NEEDED SOME Z’S

Oops:
In 2008, a burglar broke into a house in Kalamazoo, Michigan. He grabbed a bunch of electronics equipment and then, for some reason, went back inside to take a nap. When the owner came home and found a strange man sleeping on her sofa, she called the police.

Gotcha!
The cops woke the burglar and arrested him.

TOUGH GETAWAY

Oops:
In 2006, a 20-year-old man (whose name was not released) walked into a convenience store and slipped a package of Pop-Tarts into his pants. When the store clerk confronted him, he hit her in the stomach and ran out of the store.

When the police arrived, they had no trouble finding the pastry thief. Why? He sprinted into the street, tried to dodge traffic, but was eventually hit…by two cars. That slowed him down enough for the police to catch up.

Gotcha!
The cops offered medical treatment, but the thief refused, so they took him right to jail.

HOT OFF THE LOT

Oops:
Marcus George of Arkansas was paroled from prison in June 2008 after serving a sentence for robbery. A few days later, he and friend stopped by an automobile dealership to test-drive a new car…and never brought it back. A few days later, when George arrived to meet with his parole officer in the stolen car, the police arrested him.

Gotcha!
George’s parole was revoked and he was sent back to prison.

*      *      *

FAT CHANCE

Camel humps store fat, which the animals use for energy when they can’t find food. The fat usually lasts about two weeks, and if a camel uses it all, the hump will go limp, though eventually it’ll grow back to its original size…which can weigh up to 80 pounds.

Sorry, you can’t nominate yourself for a Nobel Prize.

WHO AM I,
PAGE 24

1
.
Stich,
Lilo and Stitch
;

2
.
SpongeBob,
SpongeBob SquarePants
;

3
.
Elroy Jetson,
The Jetsons
;

4
.
Timmy Turner,
Fairly Odd Parents
;

5
.
Po,
Kung Fu Panda
;

6
.
Phineas Flynn and Ferb Fletcher,
Phineas and Ferb
;

7
.
Lisa,
The Simpsons
;

8
.
Tommy Pickles,
Rugrats

TOON-EMIES,
PAGE 54

1
.
l

2
.
c

3
.
d

4
.
q

5
.
a

6
.
e

7
.
f

8
.
g

9
.
o

10
.
p

11
.
j

12
.
n

13
.
i

14
.
b

15
.
r

16
.
h

THE CASE OF THE KIDNAPPED KID,
PAGE 61

Waldo’s story had a hole. He told the inspector that he’d only seen his attacker from the back. But if that were true, he couldn’t have known the sweatshirt had a zipper in the front. Waldo finally confessed that he and Winslow had set the whole thing up to get some money from their dad. (The boys wanted to buy dirt bikes and join an extreme-sports circus.)

BRAINTEASERS,
PAGE 105

1
.
One in a million

2
.
A pair of pants

3
.
Hillbilly

4
.
Crossroads

5
.
No U Turn

6
.
Death Valley

The only
Star Wars
film nominated for a Best Picture Oscar:
A New Hope
(1977).

7
.
Shut up

8
.
H
₂
O (water)