Uncle John’s Legendary Lost Bathroom Reader (105 page)

MORE HOLLYWOOD-ISMS

More funny and inciteful observations taken from
Star Speak: Hollywood on Everything,
by Doug McClelland
.

“I don’t do the Hollywood party scene anymore. You can’t go home and say to the kid, ‘Hi, here’s a little switch: Daddy’s going to throw up on you!’”

—
Robin Williams

“The most important thing in acting is honesty. Once you’ve learned to fake that, you’re in.”

—
Samuel Goldwyn

“Actors are cattle. Disney probably has the right idea. He draws them in and if he doesn’t like them he tears them up.”

—
Alfred Hitchcock

“It was funny, before we started shooting Police Woman someone said, “Have you ever played sleuths before?” And I said, “Oh, many times.” What I thought he meant was sluts!”

—
Angie Dickinson

“Acting is not an important job in the scheme of things. Plumbing is.”

—
Spencer Tracy

“A wife lasts only for the length of a marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life.”

—
Woody Allen

“I am a very good housekeeper. Each time I get a divorce I keep the house.”

—
Zsa Zsa Gabor

Life span: A butterfly lives for about six months.

F
ELLOW BATHROOM READERS:

The fight for good bathroom reading should never be taken loosely—we must sit firmly for what we believe in, even while the rest of the world is taking pot shots at us.

We’ve proven we’re not simply a flush-in-the-pan...writers and publishers will soon find their resistance unrolling.

So we invite you to take the plunge: Sit Down and Be Counted! by joining the Bathroom Readers’ Institute. Send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to: BRI, PO Box 1117, Ashland, Oregon 97520. Or contact us through our website at:
www.bathroomreader.com
. You’ll receive your attractive free membership card and a copy of the BRI newsletter (sent out irregularly via email), receive discounts when ordering directly through the BRI, and earn a permanent spot on the BRI honor roll!

UNCLE JOHN’S NEXT BATHROOM READER IS IN THE WORKS!

Well, we’ve survived (barely) another year of satisfying your bathroom reading needs, but don’t fret—there’s more on the way. In fact, there are a few ways
you
can contribute to the next volume:

• Is there a subject you’d like to see us research? Write to us or contact us through our website (
www.bathroomreader.com
) and let us know. We aim to please.

• Have you seen or read an article you’d recommend as quintessential bathroom reading? Or is there a passage in a book or website that you want to share with us and other BRI members? Tell us how to find it. If you’re the first to suggest it and we publish it in the next volume, there’s a free book in it for you.

Well, we’re out of space, and when you’ve gotta go, you’ve gotta go. Hope to hear from you soon. Meanwhile, remember:

Go
with the flow!